Current GF / Lost interest in Sex

[Jor-El]

we are together 24/7

..well,its the ultimate passion/relationship killer isnt it,and proving to be so

 

[Jor-El]

My girlfriend tried to sue the doctors after I lost interest in sex following an operation. They said to her "look,we only adjusted his eye sight"

 

[DJ Novice]

I wouldn’t recommend moving in with a girl until at least the 3 year mark. And even then I would take insurance with a pre nup or similar

After 3 years you should know whether she still has genuine desire for you which will manifest itself in the bedroom.

While the quality and quantity of s*x will not be at the same levels as when you first met due to hedonic adaptation, they should still be high. variety, surprise etc. in the bedroom has to come from her as well as you.

Many women will use s*x as a way to either get you to commit to them during the early stages of a relationship or to control your behaviour after you have committed to them. You need to be alert to this during the 3 year vetting period.

During the 3 years before moving in you should make sure you have extended periods of time with her (like a month long holiday) to see how living together would actually be like.

You should exit a relationship if your s*xual needs aren’t being met and you have both had open and honest conversations about it. You can’t negotiate desire; it’s either there or it isn’t.

 

[plumber]

It's one of these 3 reasons:

1) She is fvcking someone else

2) You have significantly changed appearance since you began dating(or, gained a bunch of weight, etc)

3) She has lost enough respect for you that the thought of being intimate with you is revolting to her. Women CANNOT have sex with men they don't respect, it gives them the "ick".

Only you can determine which of these 3 it is, but it is one of these three.

from the writing,

#3. She actually told him she does not want sex with him.

#1 Likely will follow, if she starts going places or there can be a neighbor.... apparently he is out at the gym on a regular basis, also for other hobbies. this might have already started. if no other obvious reason for a sharp increase in #3, this is the elephant...

#2 Going to gym. But other such as clothing, hair, and posture.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

OP, let her know this is not acceptable to you and that you cannot have a girlfriend that isn't interested in you physically and dump her.

There is no trying to talk to her about it...no coming back from this, stop wasting your time and find other women to date.

This woman is simply a massive waste of your time at this point and that will not ever change moving forward.

 

[Bokanovsky]

It's one of these 3 reasons:

1) She is fvcking someone else

2) You have significantly changed appearance since you began dating(or, gained a bunch of weight, etc)

3) She has lost enough respect for you that the thought of being intimate with you is revolting to her. Women CANNOT have sex with men they don't respect, it gives them the "ick".

Only you can determine which of these 3 it is, but it is one of these three.

4) She used sex to get what she wanted (commitment and cohabitation) and now that she has it, she no longer feels the need to put in effort.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

we live together and i work from home so pretty much she has no space to cheat we are together 24/7.

Commonality is the destroyer of sex, desire and many LTR's = The mystique is gone which feeds her hamster brain wheel.
Rule #1 with girls = Never bore them or you dead to them.
Girls needs attention as much as flowers need the sun light to shine on them as you already know..

Plus what @BackInTheGame78 just said...

Current GF / Lost interest in Sex

Been gone for a while from this forums. Been building different things in my life and while all the rest is working like a clock, my love life and especially my sex life has been decreasing by a high margin. Long story short i posted in the past about this chick im with for about 17 months now...

www.sosuave.net

 

[BackInTheGame78]

4) She used sex to get what she wanted (commitment and cohabitation) and now that she has it, she no longer feels the need to put in effort.

That has to do with #3. Just another way lack of respect manifests.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Women CANNOT have sex with men they don't respect, it gives them the "ick".

Oh they can It just depends what transactional value may be on offer to them

How do you think prostitution started lol

 

[Bingo-Player]

OP - it sounds like shes emotionally checked out or you've just hit the natural platonic stage of the relationship where sex goes to die

Sex does not automatically remain exciting whilst in a relationship , if it did nobody would ever cheat

You constantly need to be objectifying and teasing your woman so she can feel sexy and in turn she will BE SEXY

You need to be constantly smacking her on the A$$ and whispering that your balls need emptying

This will arouse her and get her in the mood for sex..... LEAD HER THERE

Too many guys allow their women to basically become a friend and let them do whatever the fvck they want ....do your freinds feel sexy around you ? , do your freinds want to have sex with you ? LOL

Come on guys

 

[Gamisch]

4) She used sex to get what she wanted (commitment and cohabitation) and now that she has it, she no longer feels the need to put in effort.

5# she actually WANTS op to break up with her but since August already this cat and mouse game has been going on.

6# the more eager for sex he is, the more respect she keeps losing.

 

[BPH]

Been gone for a while from this forums.

Been building different things in my life and while all the rest is working like a clock, my love life and especially my sex life has been decreasing by a high margin.

Long story short i posted in the past about this chick im with for about 17 months now and we live together.

As with all the excitements in the beginning when i first met this chick we were having 6-7 times a day sex at-least.

Since we moved together this has gradually decreased to the point of her basically not even initiating unless i bring it up or not even discussing it if we don't have sex for 1-2 weeks for example unless i bring it up.

i want to mention here that since the beginning when we met she never initiated sex i always did, which is fine with me but when i did she was into it. Some chicks are like that from my experience all though i like a woman initiating as well.

The current situation now is that when i initiate sex im trying different things in the playbooks and she is not even getting wet. Her to get wet is like my trying to climb a mountain with a spoon.

Is like she lost interest in sex completely. At one point she even told me “sex does not interest me that much”.

Now i have yes tried to spice things up, i have tried to not bring up sex at all to see her reaction or initiate to see if she ever gets into it and nothing works.

At this point even when the sex happens its robotic and boring she is not investing time to fix this or to make it better unless i do this is what im getting.

She is not investing time in our sex to get down there to do things on her own it’s like she wants to be taken by hand on everything.

This was the case from the start and i did not mind to lead but this got to the point of either i do something or nothing happens.

Im considering exiting this relationship soon if nothing changes and she does not wake up.

Looking for your thoughts and forget about comments of “she is f3ucking somebody else” we live together and i work from home so pretty much she has no space to cheat we are together 24/7.

I haven't read any posts other than the OP, but I'm sure somebody else has already said what I'm about to say.

It's not that sex doesn't interest her much, it's that sex with YOU does not interest her that much. Consider whether you've changed over the course of those 17 months; have you gained weight, have your finances suffered, since you live together are you getting a little too comfortable doing things in front of her that might bother her, etc.

If you truly believe the answer is no to all of the above, I would guess that she is either cheating or fantasizing about cheating. You can think what you want, but where there's a will there's a way.

Quick story to illustrate the hoops a woman will jump through if she really wants to hide something:

My ex, the BPD one, during our first and only Christmas together, decided that she wanted to buy me a bunch of nice clothes, but she didn't know my size and didn't want to give me any hints as to what the gifts would be. Here's what she did...she downloaded an app that somehow calculates your clothing size by scanning you with the phone's camera - which she did while I was asleep, careful not to wake me because I'm an incredibly light sleeper. She then temporarily blocked me from viewing any of her Instagram or Snapchat stories. This is because she put out a public post looking for one of her followers nearby that matches my measurements who would be available to go with her to the mall and try on a bunch of clothes she intended to buy me to see how they would fit.

I had no idea. You might not either. All I'm saying is I would never be so confident to think there's zero chance.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Oh they can It just depends what transactional value may be on offer to them

How do you think prostitution started lol

I meant in a relwtionship

 

[Learning Curve]

I wouldn’t recommend moving in with a girl until at least the 3 year mark. And even then I would take insurance with a pre nup or similar

After 3 years you should know whether she still has genuine desire for you which will manifest itself in the bedroom.

While the quality and quantity of s*x will not be at the same levels as when you first met due to hedonic adaptation, they should still be high. variety, surprise etc. in the bedroom has to come from her as well as you.

Many women will use s*x as a way to either get you to commit to them during the early stages of a relationship or to control your behaviour after you have committed to them. You need to be alert to this during the 3 year vetting period.

During the 3 years before moving in you should make sure you have extended periods of time with her (like a month long holiday) to see how living together would actually be like.

You should exit a relationship if your s*xual needs aren’t being met and you have both had open and honest conversations about it. You can’t negotiate desire; it’s either there or it isn’t.

Sexually she is inexperienced.

She finds things out of the ordinary in bed to be awkward and trying new things with her is like figuring out what will not make her cringe because thats how she was programmed from her EX boyfriends and her past experiences.

Now you may ask: what the hell are you doing with this chick then?

In the very beginning of this relationship i did not focused on new things on sex as i knew she was shy and a starfish, but assumed that as time goes by and me trying to open her mind about sex and making her open up that will change.

This is what always happens, as i thought in my mind from my past experiences. Well it does not. I was wrong and delusional.

Some women stay dead sexually.

At this stage i must accept that sexually we are simply incompatible and as you very well said you can’t negotiate desire.

Thanks.

 

[New_Journey]

At this stage i must accept that sexually we are simply incompatible

Women mirror their men in their life and they get attached to the stronger frame.

The only thing that you need to accept is that you fvcked up this relationship, and will do the same in the next one.

All your defensive arguments is your ego protecting you from accepting all of this is your fault and that you're a fvck up in relationships.

If you wanna be a better man, leave your ego at the door.

 

[Divorced w 3]

The sex life is a key relationship barometer. It is tough to know what it is since we don’t see it, but I do see a lot of blame placing. Depending on where you want this relationship to go, you may have to accept for now the lower frequency of this happening and work on whatever is holding you and her back. Requires mutual respect to disagree respectfully, and mutual interest repairing the relationship.

Have you ever sat down calmly with an ‘I’ statement and mentioned your concerns to her? ‘Baby, I love you but I … ‘. Take some time to think about what is wrong, maybe don’t lead with the physical. See if you can examine it from the emotional perspective. Lay it out to her calmly and with positive intentions.

 

[Gamisch]

The sex life is a key relationship barometer. It is tough to know what it is since we don’t see it, but I do see a lot of blame placing. Depending on where you want this relationship to go, you may have to accept for now the lower frequency of this happening and work on whatever is holding you and her back. Requires mutual respect to disagree respectfully, and mutual interest repairing the relationship.

Have you ever sat down calmly with an ‘I’ statement and mentioned your concerns to her? ‘Baby, I love you but I … ‘. Take some time to think about what is wrong, maybe don’t lead with the physical. See if you can examine it from the emotional perspective. Lay it out to her calmly and with positive intentions.

" but I wanna explain to you ( grown azz woman) that I am a horny man who wants to negotiate YOUR desire"

Let's keep it a buck. OP went from having approx 50 sexual experiences a week to zero. That was back in August. He only wants one thing, that is sex. She wants..whatever, anything except that. I can't imagine the atmosphere being a happy cozy one.

Tons to unpack if you want. Let me just say that most modern males fall for this trap. They wanna isolate a woman, use her as a sexdoll but when she refuses to be that they ofcourse get salty. He has no friends close to him and she is not from the town they live in. Some men I know try the same, where they isolate their women from the outside world and "secretly " try to build a legacy.

Meanwhile the only sensible thing to do is leave leave leave. You know, this is why women will say they were abused by their ex. Because at best he'll say: " but I need to get some p00sy otherwise this relationship is over". So she gives you some, but now everytime you penetrate her it will feel like you abuse her. Read that TWICE. You get your short relief but it WILL come back to haunt you one day. If there's drama and third parties get involved she will say that he also sexually abused her and forced her to have sex with him. She can say he used his position of power ( his house) threatening her to become homeless. Some tears, some blue haired women who make the report and he's DONE.

This relationship should've been over months ago. At best OP can extend the cycle for some time, or she'll suddenly "behave better" while we all know its a matter of time before she will act like this again. He can push this along for another 2 years and end up in the same position, a position where he indeed will have to start from zero, get out there , use the app, go to the bars , approach random women and get rejected over and over ( like the rest of us ).

I know you mean well ,but a soft azz approach like this will not work anymore.. eventually we all know op won't end this, and his LEARNING CURVE will be the hard way.

Marry Christmas hohoho!

 

[Gamisch]

The lesson in situations like this is: everything that happens AFTER you should've left but you refused and stayed, can be used against you.

Even if she starts sucking your wiener now she can say it was abuse because she felt like her life was on the line if she didn't comply. And it can only get worse...

 

[Learning Curve]

Women mirror their men in their life and they get attached to the stronger frame.

The only thing that you need to accept is that you fvcked up this relationship, and will do the same in the next one.

All your defensive arguments is your ego protecting you from accepting all of this is your fault and that you're a fvck up in relationships.

If you wanna be a better man, leave your ego at the door.

I accept my own mistakes as with the mistakes other people make.

If i had ego i would not be part of this group and post here.

Whether i f3uck up anything in else in the future which i can tell i will not, because i may extend my mistakes but I dont make them twice.

now get your negative a$$ out of this thread.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

" but I wanna explain to you ( grown azz woman) that I am a horny man who wants to negotiate YOUR desire"

Let's keep it a buck. OP went from having approx 50 sexual experiences a week to zero. That was back in August. He only wants one thing, that is sex. She wants..whatever, anything except that. I can't imagine the atmosphere being a happy cozy one.

Tons to unpack if you want. Let me just say that most modern males fall for this trap. They wanna isolate a woman, use her as a sexdoll but when she refuses to be that they ofcourse get salty. He has no friends close to him and she is not from the town they live in. Some men I know try the same, where they isolate their women from the outside world and "secretly " try to build a legacy.

Meanwhile the only sensible thing to do is leave leave leave. You know, this is why women will say they were abused by their ex. Because at best he'll say: " but I need to get some p00sy otherwise this relationship is over". So she gives you some, but now everytime you penetrate her it will feel like you abuse her. Read that TWICE. You get your short relief but it WILL come back to haunt you one day. If there's drama and third parties get involved she will say that he also sexually abused her and forced her to have sex with him. She can say he used his position of power ( his house) threatening her to become homeless. Some tears, some blue haired women who make the report and he's DONE.

This relationship should've been over months ago. At best OP can extend the cycle for some time, or she'll suddenly "behave better" while we all know its a matter of time before she will act like this again. He can push this along for another 2 years and end up in the same position, a position where he indeed will have to start from zero, get out there , use the app, go to the bars , approach random women and get rejected over and over ( like the rest of us ).

I know you mean well ,but a soft azz approach like this will not work anymore.. eventually we all know op won't end this, and his LEARNING CURVE will be the hard way.

Marry Christmas hohoho!

OP simply burned the candle too bright and too long at both ends and now is wondering why it burnt out so rapidly.