Crusade of the Knight: A Journal.

novaknight

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Today I asked twiggy to hang out over facebook (it's my only way of contact). Gonna try to skip church this Friday, and open sets in the local coffeeshop. Hopefully it will be dark enough for nobody to take note, cause it's extremely easy to notice a tall guy who looks like a tree :p

I'm back on track, and finally pushing myself again.

Let's hope I don't get run over trying to sneak out. Gotta get through a busy intersection.
 

novaknight

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**** man. Once again Im pretty sure got shot down. Don't know if shes definately not interested or just busy, but I'm pretty sure shes just not attracted. Honestly I feel that I'm not good looking enough to score sometimes. I guess thats why I get shot down so much. For the amount of times I tried, I have very few successes to speak of.

In my life, I see a lotta good looking guys get so much action. What pisses me off is that they don't even have to work for it! Girls just swoon over them, and be like "oh my god hes soo hawt!" It's like they get a free ride in life, and get all the ***** they want for nothing. Sometimes I wish I was one of those genetically blessed men. A lotta times I seriously think its not fair at all.

But you know what? During my years of existence, I learned NOTHING is fair. Nothing in this world is fair, it's a true fact.

Though that doesn't mean all is lost. As I type this post, I notice that none of my fingers are missing. You know, as I envy the good looking men who get girls, I take a look at how I have both arms and legs intact. Though my face isn't good looking, I have no deformities.

Being a not so good looking guy means I just have to try harder. Get rejected some more. Gain more experience and level up!

Just because I'm a unattractive asian guy doesnt mean the world is over. I'm still gonna be able to get *****. Maybe I have to wait until college till I finally start scoring. But it'll be worth it, cause I know that I'll be pulling through game, not looks.

I hate being unattractive, but once I get laid, it will feel so much better.

The challenge is worth it. Let's go.
 

NorwegianDJ

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But dude, how do you know you're ugly? I used to think of myself as ugly, even though I wasn't. If you look at my first profile pics on fb, my sister used to tease me about my clothes etc in those pics, and I'd think badly of them. I wouldn't get much attention from girls (or so I thought atleast). A lot of it is in your head.
 

novaknight

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NorwegianDJ said:
But dude, how do you know you're ugly? I used to think of myself as ugly, even though I wasn't. If you look at my first profile pics on fb, my sister used to tease me about my clothes etc in those pics, and I'd think badly of them. I wouldn't get much attention from girls (or so I thought atleast). A lot of it is in your head.
Cause honestly, thats what a lotta people say, and I think I get turned down too much. Got shot down yesterday. Then today this morning, I woke up and found I received another by the same person (Twiggy). Got pretty badly shot down again. I don't feel like saying what I received this morning. But basically, it said that I was unattractive and she didn't even want to hang out.

This happens too much. The things I hear on this website, like "Assume Attraction", and ****, I mean, on the surface it makes sense. But when you're not attractive in the first place, how the hell do you even get your chance to play the game?

I hate this damned game. I'll consider taking a break from it, but I dunno when and if I'll finally be able to pull. Sometimes I just feel so frustrated, and unable to do anything.
 

NorwegianDJ

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Attraction for a girl is different from attraction from a guy. The way you are thinking and behaving is detimental and paradoxically working against you.

You dont get girls; you believe you're ugly. You believe you're ugly; you don't get girls. Insecurities and limiting beliefs get the best of you.

So what are you up to other than chicks?
 

novaknight

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Not much I guess. Martial arts, studying, computer games, exercise, and thats about it. School hasn't really started yet.
 

Nino-Tk

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Nova, never lose hope my friend. Never give up dawg. You owe it to your self to be your best self at all times. Norwegian is right, limiting beliefs are stinging you like a biatch. I suggest you sit your a.s.s down, write em out and deal with first before another attempt. Eg. I am unattractive> I am who am, I can't change it, and who ever has a problem with it must go eat a dik! And besides, thats a opinion, not a fact.
Realise that limiting beliefs soon become a self-fulfilling prophecy, so stop them NOW my brother!
 

novaknight

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Entry 34: Return to the Game.
Well, after some consideration I've decided to come back to the game.

I did what Nino said, and wrote out everything on paper.

I still don't think I'm physically attractive. And maybe I will never be.

But you know what? I'm starting to feel attractive. I AM attractive, I just rarely have the chance to let that side of me shine.

Many people I met outside of school speak highly of me. I mean, I'm not at all popular in school. The people there; a lotta em are plain fags. But someone I met outside of school said I was the coolest Asian guy he ever met. Buncha people claim that I say the most hilarious things ever, and always make their day brighter through humor.

Now, I wondered why people consider me funny.

I don't really try to be funny. It just happens. But....where does it come from?

I realized that the reason why people find me hilarious is cause I'm not afraid to say whats really on my mind. Because I don't give a **** whether people will get offended or not. Because I don't care if they'll laugh at me instead of with me.

And when I say what's on my mind, lots of the time, people end up laughing with me.

My realization is that being good at being a funny mother****er is not that different from being good with girls!

The reason why people like my personality and humor is cause I'm blunt and straight-up. If I wasn't blunt and straight up, people wouldn't be crackin up around me all the time.

If I'm blunt and straight up with girls, I could probably achieve similiar success in that field too. Instead of beating the bush, I could go pure shotgun game, and be direct as I can.

I'm giving this all one more try.

Here's exactly what I wrote down on paper.

I am ugly and unattractive >>> I'm not good looking, but I'm very attractive. I'm humorous and honest. The shallow hoes that think otherwise can gag on my ****.

Being Asian makes it almost impossible to get laid; girls will think I'm a loser. >>> If a girl turns me down just cause of how wide my eyes are, she's nothing better than a racist pig. Plus, Bruce Lee was Asian and nobody ever dared call him a loser.

Hot girls are out of my league>>>A woman should consider herself lucky to catch my interest. I'm smart and witty. I'm a black belt. I should be a high value man





Schools gonna start soon, gonna scope out targets there.
Let's go!
 

novaknight

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Entry 35: The Knight is an Upper Classman!
Hehe, I'm a Junior in High School now.

This school year I'm shooting for

-Academic Success
-Success with the Ladies.
-Sports/Fitness
-Career exploration.

*Let's start with Academic Success.
Academic Success
I gotta get decent scores in my classes, that's for sure. Obviously some teachers will suck and try to fail you, but some are actually gonna be good and make the class easy. Some might actually teach you life lessons that you won't forget.

I also gotta make sure I have a good SAT score. I recently cleared 2050 on a practice test, which I worked really hard at. Hopefully I can keep those stats on the real thing, so I can take it once and not touch it again.

Success with Ladies
A no brainer, I wanna get laid. I got shot down so much only God knows how many times I got rejected. The moment when I was about to call it quits still is fresh in my memory. This year I want to prove every one wrong. I wanna prove that you don't need to be good looking to get laid! This is gonna be real hard. But I've seen people uglier than me pull some fine broads.

Sports/Fitness
I want to continue martial arts, and advance to even higher levels. And get a part time job as an assistant instructor in my martial arts school. Looking for big tournaments, but theres none closeby. I'll stick to attending the in-house ones, I done well in them in the past.

The Future
I don't know what I wanna do in the future yet. Looking into business. I don't want to go to med school, and graduate at 30+ years old.

One of my dreams is to run a PUA business, like Mystery. But that's only a dream. I gotta get good. Sometimes I doubt I'll even really get girls. There's a lotta crap holding me back right now though, maybe one day it'll get easier. Even though it seems like its impossible, I remind myself that Mystery used to be a loser too, and now look at where he is.

Well, here we go. Time to conquer junior year.
 
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NorwegianDJ

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Sounds good bro!
However, I think I've been rejected way more than you though. It's a natural consequence.
I'll see if I can fix your post, cause it says like [p] and all that.
EDIT: nvm, no idea what it's supposed to look like.
 

novaknight

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NorwegianDJ said:
Sounds good bro!
However, I think I've been rejected way more than you though. It's a natural consequence.
I'll see if I can fix your post, cause it says like [p] and all that.
EDIT: nvm, no idea what it's supposed to look like.
It was supposed to be an indent for a paragraph. I removed it, don't really need it.

The thing that really bugs me is not my number of rejections, it's my high rejection rate (which is definately higher than 90%). And that really brings my morale down in this war.

That's really where my self-limiting beliefs came from. While I see people around me get pursued by women, I get shot down time after time. Really gets me down. See it way too much, really.

My goal is to become one of those guys girls go after. This year's gonna be my year.
 

novaknight

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Entry 35:Now is the time.

Finally I discovered the source of a lotta my failures.

It's not cause I'm bad looking. It's because although I do have courage, I don't develop it quick enough!

You see, I usually end up facing my fears, and going for the girl. Here's the thing though. I always face those fears too late, and waste precious time I'll never get back.

Now looking back its so stupid! From now on, I need to start getting the courage to act QUICKLY and DECISIVELY. No more waiting for the right moment, the right moment is NOW!

That's much easier said than done though. By a lot.

But tomorrow, I want to numberclose this girl I just met in English class.

Hehehe....let's hope it works....
 
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novaknight

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You know what? Let's turn this into a game. Let's see just how many times I get shot down this month! When you turn this into a game, it can become fun. After all, why else do they call it "The Game"?
 

galmorphus

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Damnit i just lost!

Anyways, does this mean that you're going to go out cold approaching?
Yes, have as much fun as you can and if you are feeling some anxiety,
do some stupid approaches like i always do. Just go up to a girl and ask her if she likes pickles, or do what SimplePickup does.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9QS28m1j9w&feature=channel_video_title
This stuff is super FUN! After that, talking to girls normally is nothing. Messing with people is hilarious too.
 

novaknight

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Don't get the chance to go out much, but I'm going to do that every time I do.
Once I get my license it's gonna be much better.

For school that's gonna be harder, you don't wanna be known as that creeper. Then again, I don't got much to lose in school. Many People already think I'm a homo (which was once true), a mentally retarded kid (cause I got no common sense), or just a plain lunatic. I really couldn't care less about what people think of me nowadays in school, other than my rep hurting my chances at getting laid
 

novaknight

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Entry 36: Having Fun!

Sup homies! Having fun? Well, I am!

Badadada, guess what? Rejection is FUNNN!!!

Not even being sarcastic here.

Well, rejection isn't exactly fun. It's the fact that I actually made approaches.

I had the privilege of having the opportunity to approach targets outside of school, I'll elaborate later when I have the time.

But I have another 2 approaches under my belt.

Time to step up the game.
 

novaknight

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Entry 37: Urgent, please help

I really wanna number close this girl in English class tomorrow. She sits next to me. Problem is I have no idea what to say. I don't know her at all.

THe issue I have with school is that rejections do kinda matter sometimes.

Does anyone have a good approach to this?
 

NorwegianDJ

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You shouldn't rely on the forum to give you any answers, it usually doesn't. Sometimes going in with nothing will yield you a greater reward, no matter the outcome.
 
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