Welp, gentlemen, lost my Friday night waiting on a flakey wing; so I figured I'd do a post I've been brainstorming for the past week--sort of a continuation of what I touched on in Stagnation at SoSuave: When Frame is Weakness.
In another thread, @LiveYourDream touched on something that's easy to take for granted and is the cause of a lot of misconceptions here at SS and in other places around the manosphere--and is the cause of a lot of unhappiness and unfulfillment:
The thing is self-confidence, real self-confidence, is not something that is dependent on circumstance. It's not dependent on context. It's not subject to external feeback. It's an innate part of who you are.
No.
It's simple: Just decide you're high value. That's it.
So firstly, we need to reprogram your beliefs. This is a little scary--but, listen: You are not who you think you are.
In another thread, @LiveYourDream touched on something that's easy to take for granted and is the cause of a lot of misconceptions here at SS and in other places around the manosphere--and is the cause of a lot of unhappiness and unfulfillment:
Self-Confidence. The PUA's call it 'congruency' and 'outcome independence.' Rollo Tomassi calls it 'Alpha' or 'being your own mental point of origin.' It's kind of the elusive touchstone of 'success with women'--if you could just be self-confident. But how does one go about achieving it?
Lift, you say. If you can just get down to sub 10% body fat then you can be self-confident and get the women you want.
Act Alpha, you say. Just don't show emotions, bro. She has to think you don't care and that you're banging other women. Just do that enough and then you can be self-confident and get the women you want.
Get money, you say. You gotta raise your SMV and make six figures a year and drive an awesome care and then you can be self-confident and get the women you want.
Get pvssy, you say. If you fvck enough girls then you can be self-confident and get the women you want.
Dress better, you say. If you look good you'll feel good and then you can be self-confident and get the women you want.
Dress better, you say. If you look good you'll feel good and then you can be self-confident and get the women you want.
It's just looks and height and your ethnicity, you say. Well, I don't have any of those things so maybe if I masturbate to porn and hold out for sex robots and complain about the modern state of women then maybe I can reincarnate in a future life as fastlife (I kid--my life's not totally awesome yet).
But what if I told you that you don't need anyone's permission to be self-confident? What if I told you that all those external factors that your ego desperately wants to prop itself up with are just bullsh1t rationalizations? Don't get me wrong--all of those are worthwhile things (except the last part) that will enhance your life. They will all give you a temporary sense of self-worth. But what happens when you lose the job? When you lose the girl, hit the dry spell, when your hair starts falling out, when your momma dies and you're so worried what a fvcking girl thinks that you have to hold frame and hold everything in? What happens when all the women you attract are just as superficial and manipulative and fake as you are?
The thing is self-confidence, real self-confidence, is not something that is dependent on circumstance. It's not dependent on context. It's not subject to external feeback. It's an innate part of who you are.
OK, you say. Great. So what if that's not who I am? What if I'm insecure and feel sh1tty and feel like a phony and don't feel comfortable expressing myself emotionally and I'm still not getting the girls I want? So is that just who I am?
No.
But I've always been this way. What do I need to do to change it? What do I need to be a 'high value man' that people treat with respect and girls go home with? I mean, I started suppressing myself and laid a couple girls, which was more than I did before--I can't just go back to being me.
It's simple: Just decide you're high value. That's it.
But what if I'm not high value?
Your self-perception is your reality. But since I'm a nice guy and used to really dislike myself deep down--even when I was getting laid and having success with women (evil, evil women lol)--I've decided to OUTLINE exactly what you need to do to truly give yourself permission to be self-confident, to be outcome dependent, to be emotionally centered. To be--dare I say it?--happy.
So firstly, we need to reprogram your beliefs. This is a little scary--but, listen: You are not who you think you are.
Woah, so you're telling me that I'm not the collection of beliefs and emotional and behavioral reactions to stimuli that I've self-identified with my entire life.
No. Your beliefs, your sense of self is FALSE. It's something YOU constructed based on feedback from your parents, from your friends, from rationalizing past behaviors, from Facebook, from television, from the first girl you slept with, from the high school you went to, from the country you were born in. YOU, the you you think you are right now, is a total fabrication. Chances are YOU don't know who you are. And how can you be self-confident if you possess no sense of self?
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