Craigslist post gets a reaction

[Colossus]

I'm continually surprised by the excuses people make for themselves.

It's not a matter of "sugar coating" and/or trying to attract a more diverse group. It's a matter of working smarter to attract a niche group. I guess if you're looking to make better use of your energy and time, then it would be productive to tweak your ad for best results, rather than spend the time writing out the kind of stuff that repels some and invites flames that you then spend your time reading and then posting about.

Get off your high horse, dude.

I considered your advice and said I'd give it a try. You made some good points. However, 90% of my responders were positive. I posted the flames because they are more amusing to read.

Why dont you post some of your different approaches instead of ripping everyone elses, hotshot. All youve done is blast str8up and myself for the last page.

 

[Mr. Me]

Hey Colossus, you needn't be so defensive. I'm not "blasting" anyone, just making my points but in a firm way. If what I read sounds like excuses to me, then I'll say what's on my mind, just like you have.

 

[MikeYikes122]

Hey Colossus, you needn't be so defensive. I'm not "blasting" anyone, just making my points but in a firm way. If what I read sounds like excuses to me, then I'll say what's on my mind, just like you have.

I have to agree with Colossus. You might want to work on your tone a little bit in your posts. A few weeks back, I saw you blasting that My Name is Nobody guy, which is fine because that guy has posted about some AFC things. He even has his own 20-plus page thread dedicated to them, but I do think he is starting to come around.

But there is a difference with STR8UP and Colossus on this thread. Neither of them are looking for advice, and it looks like you're trying to give it to them. If I were them, I wouldn't have taken well to your posts either. I don't think Colossus was being defensive, he was just getting sick of you pestering him.

Anyway, back to the original topic. I think the CL post should be edited like some of the posters are suggesting. When I wrote it, it was just a joke and not meant to actually produce results. I think that fact has kind of gotten lost as this thread has grown over the last three weeks.

I'm kind of content with what I have going for me now, but I might rewrite something and repost it soon here in the near future. If I do, I will post the ad and share my results again.

 

[STR8UP]

Haha....I got a flame war going on over there with my post, lol

Some b!tch decided to "respond" by posting a response to my post calling me a "rich ass hole" so I fired back, now I have a few women going back and forth calling me "arrogant" etc.

Guess I have to retire this ad. Wasn't producing results anyway....

 

[Mr. Me]

Okay. I apologize if anyone thought I was being hostile. Hard to read tones in postings. But hey, advice can be helpful, even when unsolicited, as sometimes we don't know what we don't see and no one's above improving... not even me and I've lived about twice as long as most of you guys!

 

[mrRuckus]

Small update on the "disappearing girl." I also took Colossus' ad and revised it a bit for me and added a couple things and removed a few and got some responses.

First the vanishing girl. I let her lie for the weekend after her whole "it's 5 min before midnight and i'm saying hi" thing on friday night. Sunday night she contacts me again saying "hi there....ive had a stomach thing all weekend." It was late so i just ignored it until the next night and asked how her stomach was doing. Got a short response saying "food poisoning i think.. it's been awful. been in bed all weekend." A whole lot of nothing and not sounding too receptive to any flirting or anything, but no reason to freak out if she's poisoned.

Then yesterday i again asked how it was going with her stomach. She said she slept all day but it was getting better. She finally talked and was much more talkative. Told me about her quiz she had to do the next day and how she thinks she got sick etc etc and even told me "heh you're so funny" at some point. Finally some life back in her. MAYBE it was just a terrible week and a half for her and nothing to do with anything.

Since it's wednesday AND her birthday i'm thinking of giving her a call to say happy birthday and to get her to come out this weekend. I kind of just want to let her lie some more and see if she comes for me now that she's healthy again, but the only way to know what the hell is up is to "ask her out!," right? With my luck she has a bunch of work to catch up on and won't come out. bleh.

ANYWAY, no one really cares about all that... here are two responses to my new craigslist ad.

I saw you ad on Craigslist
and I'm interested in getting to know you. Since we both know that a
physical attraction starts it off, www.myspace.com/[censored] has a few pictures of
me. I would send them via email but most of them are too large in size. I consider
myself attractive, fit, and
fun to be around. I spend
most of my time outdoors (hiking, camping, playing football/softball)
but I also like hanging in and watching a movie or making dinner. And when I say I
camp, I seriously camp. Mostly backcountry lately but I'll do the occasional gravy
trip every now and them. I'm certainly not afraid to get dirty. I go
out for drinks sometimes, but not all of the time. Let me know if you'd
like to chat.
-Emily

She was really cute on her myspace page. Funny she mentioned the camping since i erased any mention of camping from the above version.


The next one is a whopper. Wow.

Wow. What a fantastically together, well-spoken (written?), self-aware guy. It’s
refreshing. I guess it’s Pennsylvania people – we’ve got to stick together. I’m
confidently single, and feel just the same way – I’m ready to move in another
direction, but only with someone who can deepen the enjoyment of a life I already
love. I don’t need complications or constant company, neither opposed to, nor
necessarily seeking a “forever” thing, just a little companionship with someone
worth sharing experiences with. Hoping to meet someone, have a great conversation
and maybe some ice cream, and see where life takes us.

I’m not into games, not into drama, and since I b.s. for a living I feel no need to
do it in my personal life. I’m a little non-traditional with my dating habits but
believe gender roles exist for a reason. I thrive on little daily contacts - I don't
need (nor really desire) to talk for 3 hours on the phone in the evening, but I will
drop a text to tell you about the crazy guy on the subway or send you a link that
made me think of you.

I walk a careful line between confidence and ****iness, but I guess if you're
answering a personal ad, it's all about playing it up. I'm good-looking (the kind
of girl who can stand in a bar and rack up phone numbers) but I’d never call a guy
I met in a bar. I was summa *** laude with two degrees and I'm all about
intellectual compatibility. That doesn't mean I don't respect everyone's particular
talents - but it does mean I think less of people who don't say "whom" when it's
appropriate. I’m committed to my values and can argue them to the death, but I’m
open minded enough to listen to every opinion and evaluate on its merits. I have a
great, but rather dry and cynical sense of humor, which can tend to get me into a
little bit of trouble. Writing and photography are my life passions, and I dabble
in politics for business and pleasure. I put time every day into taking care of my
body and soul, but consider myself low-maintenance and refuse to count calories. I
have a black belt but do black-tie three or four times a month for work.

I don’t believe in the mythology of “the one”, but I do believe in a certain
harmony. The tango of opposites: the yin to my yang, the tiferet, whatever. The
person who shares your values, but opens your eyes. The person who supports, accepts
and affirms you as you are, but challenges you to be better than that. The person
who respects you enough to stand guard over your solitude, but is dying to
experience those moments together. The person who deeply values your independence,
but calls from the market to see if you’re stocked up on your favorites. The crucial
information: 23, 5'8", 130, professionally employed and live independently, Jewish, Caucasian, pretty good cook. I'll gladly provide a photo in a reply
message (amateur photographer), but I work in a senstive field, so I don’t send them
out blind. That assumes, of course, that I'll be hearing back from you, which I
sincerely hope to.

Nice... she refers to like every point in the ad in some way. I love how these ads set the women up to proving themselves and then i can just the "i'm watching you" skeptical role. Haven't replied back to this to get the pictures, but 5'8 and 130 seems wayyy skinny to me. But i don't know...

 

[MikeYikes122]

Nice... she refers to like every point in the ad in some way. I love how these ads set the women up to proving themselves and then i can just the "i'm watching you" skeptical role. Haven't replied back to this to get the pictures, but 5'8 and 130 seems wayyy skinny to me. But i don't know...

I've dealt with overly intellectual chics like this one before. She is either going to be one of those kinds of girls who sits around at cafes and listens to all the coolest music you and I have never heard of. In other words, she'll be completely obnoxious and overly talkative.

Or, she will be laid-back, cool and modest about her intelligence.

I think you're sitting on a razor's edge with that one.

 

[jophil28]

Small update on the "disappearing girl."
...

In my opinion you are looking at her way too seriously.

You need to ask yourself IF the way that she behaves toward you is to your liking OR are you in an endless guessing game as to her interest level and her "intentions" .
Women behave like her for numerous reasons and low interest level is only one of them The ultimate question is this --
Is she acting in a way that is to your liking ?
If her disappearing act" pisses you off , shove her in the "too hard" pigeon hole and date the smart Jewish chicka.

 

[mrRuckus]

In my opinion you are looking at her way too seriously.


If her disappearing act" pisses you off , shove her in the "too hard" pigeon hole and date the smart Jewish chicka.

I'm just trying to learn from her. And it is a good mystery to find out what she's thinking. I'm not too involved emotionally with it.

I did email back the jewish girl and she sent a really nice reply back. Of course, she claims about the same things about herself as the other girl and we see how that's turned out... heh. Can't listen to a damn thing they say, can ya?

Oh, got her pics and she is nice

Don't worry about me. I have my 'plates.' I just liked that other one a bit more than the others until recently.

 

[jophil28]

I'm just trying to learn from her. And it is a good mystery to find out what she's thinking. I'm not too involved emotionally with it.

When I was your age , the last thing that I told myself about an erratic woman was, " I'm just trying to learn from her." WTF do you expect to learn from an unpredictable child/woman ? After spending over 30 years dating women (and marrying a couple of 'em) there is little that a woman can teach you. The learning comes in understanding how to SELECT a woman from the herd. The board will give you a fast track to that knowledge.

Let me tell you this- the lesson you need to learn is NOT to spend any time on "hot and cold" women. There are many women out there who do not pull this shyte.
Ultimately we need to give our time to those women who enhance our lives and who are 'givers' in the broadest sense.
You are caught up in the 'Mystery and Intrigue' mindset. That is what women do. They get drawn along by fantasizing about "that mysterious guy " and waste their energy on that guy who is unavailable.

 

[jophil28]

Double post /

 

[AgonyUncle]

Nice... she refers to like every point in the ad in some way. I love how these ads set the women up to proving themselves and then i can just the "i'm watching you" skeptical role. Haven't replied back to this to get the pictures, but 5'8 and 130 seems wayyy skinny to me. But i don't know...

Thats hardly skinny. Thats about 58 kilos. If you think thats skinny, then you been macking at McDonalds

 

[mrRuckus]

Haha, well i didn't say anything to her for 5 days and here is the email i got from her a few hours ago.

Hey mrRuckus,

I just wanted to let you in on what's been going on with me and why I've been MIA, etc. As Ive said before, my
lack of contact is not because Im trying to give you the slip...it's because Im trying to process some
heavy things at the moment. This year has started off on the wrong foot and I need time to make things right again. I need to be a happy me and I dont like to be around anyone when Im the unhappy me. It's been my tendency to just hibernate in situations like this. But anyway:

I wasn't ignoring you. Seriously mrRuckus, I was not avoiding you. That was not my intention.

Second, that next morning my dad called and told me my grandfather passed away. He and I were close as my family is rather small. I flew home immediately to attend to things and Ive been in Tx since. As you know already, Im not much
of a phone person or (especially) an aim person, so I made no attempt to contact anyone...not
even my friends here...and obviously not you. I maybe get two/three calls a day. In times like these, the phone is the last thing I think about. I dont answer txts at a restaurant, Im sure as hell not going to make a call during a funeral.

Third, granted we are not anything serious, it started to feel like that for me (and I emphasize for me). After this past week, Ive just come to the conclusion that I need to take a break and re-energize. I really thought this could work; I enjoyed our conversations very much (seriously). But I think it has become too much too fast. I also think that you want something more serious than Im willing to give (because this is the energy Im sensed from you whether you realized it or not). I dont really have energy of my own to focus on anything except family and school.

As Ive said before, Im not the kind of person to "drop" people even though, I agree, it seemed like that is what I did to you. And as much as you might want to think that's what I was doing last week, it was not. Please dont raise your fist in the air and start cursing womankind as a whole. Given the unusual circumstances that I find myself, it is not my intention to bruise you or slap you around in anyway at all. If Ive ever given that impression, then you have my deepest apologies.

Im not really sure what else to tell you or how to say this but, simply put, I dont think it will work between us. I think we match up in many ways, but I think we have different ambitions and different relationship goals. I sincerely do wish you the very best in your newest endeavors and I hope that you find a more satisfying job and comfortable place to live.


Yours,

xxxxx

I think it's kinda funny. I don't remember asking for a relationship. I mean i know i implied that's the ultimate goal but i always said i wasn't rushing anything.

It's cool.. i'm workin others... just weird how they think try to drop things in my lap. All that talking to excuse her poor behavior and to just say


Dear Mr Ruckus,

I am not interested in you.

Sincerely,
xxxxx



Shrug, it's probably dead.. i don't really plan a response unless there's really something i should say...



In other news, yet another decent response. I've gotten a number of responses to various forms of ads, but this is another that's a cut above the rest. And she's damn cute... Am i the only one still playing with this stuff? heh..

Today is my first day ever looking at personals on Craigslist, and I must admit that I thoroughly enjoyed your witty and honest perspective. So much so, in fact, that my interest was piqued, and I found myself agreeing with everything you wrote! The power of your diction transformed me from an amateur browser to a curious responder. But who am I?

I'm 21, and I just moved to [xxx] after graduating from college a semester early in December 07 with honors & 2 degrees. I was born/raised/educated in the upper-midwest. Please don't automatically discredit my (young) age as a measure of my maturity! I have an amazing temp job downtown until I start my real job in March @ [xxx]. I plan on going to law school at a T-14 after taking a few years off (I"ve already taken my LSAT). I just returned from a semester in Paris which solidified my passion for culture and traveling. I'm 5'6", 120# with blue eyes and long, light brown/sometimes blond hair I actually enjoy working out and pushing my body, and I've danced for many years-- in a NON-Carmen Electra-esque strip-aerobics way. I value personal responsibility and integrity and I LOVE politics. I usually try not let broad-based barriers define or limit my relationships, but it's really hard for me see eye-to-eye with anyone who considers themselves "Liberal". I love following my favorite sports teams, getting wrapped up in a good book (right now: "Testimony by Nicolas Sarkozy) and being outdoors in any city/rural setting.

So what am I looking for? Something real. I found that college was a toxic environment for any real attempt at relationships, between one-night flings & choosing academic/activity obligations over relationships with men. But now a new chapter has opened in my life with my move out East. I know only a few people in the [xxx] area and would at least like a new friend, hopefully more. So as I sit alone watching Fox Sport's excessive pre-game coverage of the superbowl, I type honestly and candidly to a guy who intrigued me via an ad. Like I said, this whole "ad on craigslist" thing is very new for me, but maybe it's a step in the right direction.

And to answer some of the specifics from your ad:
- I despise drama and avoid it by being honest from the get-go
- I embrace my femininity but without being a crazy, man-bashing feminist who, for example, wants to tear down the Washington monument because it is a phallic symbol of masculine power. sick. If I wanted to be the man in the relationship (which I don't), I would go "play for the other team"
- I'm independent enough to "hold my own" yet am caring and loyal.

So take a look at my pics. Just for some context, all were taken at the beginning of December 07 in the French Riviera. I'd send more, but apparently CL has an email size limit. If you're interested (I hope you are!), please send me some pictures of you and maybe a little more about yourself! Thanks for your time & for taking the risk of potential slander from less refined women who don't realize the importance of being picky.

I respond and a clip from her reply is:

"The women's lib movement" ---at the extremes, I sometimes I wonder if this actually set women back more. At my school, the women's studies department was one of the most popular and one of my old roommates told me you're assured an A if you show up & hate-on. Really? I mean, seriously? Women's studies? They push for gender equality, but there's not a "Mens studies" department, so is this actually fair in an academic setting. It's a complicated and multifaceted dilemma, but interesting nonetheless, especially when you consider the shift in the values system and the deterioration of the family since the 60s. I'm not suggesting a causal link, but is it mere coincidence?

Lol.. unexpected...