Cold Approach in Grocery Store

[pipeman84]

Cmon dude. The girls 24 maybe, vacuuming the gym today as I’m working out. I’m inverted doing dumbbells. I lean over and I tell the girl they need to get her one of those robots to which she laughed at - you mean to tell me my 38 year old ass didn’t have a good chance if I felt like going further with it? I don’t do pickup in the gym but maybe I should. I like my gym a lot.

You've misunderstood me, I have nothing against age gap relationships, I actually think they're more natural, evolutionary speaking (when the male is older).
What's wrong with pickup in the gym, you see her often, she's warmed up to you.

 

[Divorced w 3]

You've misunderstood me, I have nothing against age gap relationships, I actually think they're more natural, evolutionary speaking (when the male is older).
What's wrong with pickup in the gym, you see her often, she's warmed up to you.

What did I misunderstand? The post quoted is very clear and I had an alternative experience. I this entire premise of cold activity being derogatory or poor taste is irritating me and I am just picking spots where I am able to chime in an offer evidence based information as opposed to anxiety induced head trash .

 

[Don of the north]

What did I misunderstand? The post quoted is very clear and I had an alternative experience. I this entire premise of cold activity being derogatory or poor taste is irritating me and I am just picking spots where I am able to chime in an offer evidence based information as opposed to anxiety induced head trash .

+1
There's an ignore button for a reason. For some reason, people who sound like they are man hating feminists want to invade this board. The only men who shame other men for dating hotter younger woman are guys who feel they can't get them anymore for whatever reason.

I've also found that some black pill guys who have been burned by pua coaches lying to them that looks don't matter now sound like feminists talking about cold approach is degrading/predatory/sleazy ect. They are only saying this because it didn't work for them and want an excuse not to try anymore. I don't shame anyone for NOT wanting to do cold approach, but shaming people for doing cold approach is disgraceful and quite frankly mods should take action on a forum like this.

There's nothing degrading about giving someone a compliment and asking them out for coffee. This world has gone mad. Oh and if you wait for choosing signals, you'll miss out on potential dates. Plenty of infields of guys approaching women who didn't give an ioi and them getting the number. I've seen it myself in person. Women randomly walking by most of the time won't give an ioi even if they think you are attractive enough to date. You don't know till you ask.

 

[Divorced w 3]

+1
There's an ignore button for a reason. For some reason, people who sound like they are man hating feminists want to invade this board. The only men who shame other men for dating hotter younger woman are guys who feel they can't get them anymore for whatever reason.

I've also found that some black pill guys who have been burned by pua coaches lying to them that looks don't matter now sound like feminists talking about cold approach is degrading/predatory/sleazy ect. They are only saying this because it didn't work for them and want an excuse not to try anymore. I don't shame anyone for NOT wanting to do cold approach, but shaming people for doing cold approach is disgraceful and quite frankly mods should take action on a forum like this.

There's nothing degrading about giving someone a compliment and asking them out for coffee. This world has gone mad. Oh and if you wait for choosing signals, you'll miss out on potential dates. Plenty of infields of guys approaching women who didn't give an ioi and them getting the number. I've seen it myself in person. Women randomly walking by most of the time won't give an ioi even if they think you are attractive enough to date. You don't know till you ask.

Couldn’t have said it better. I will add, cold approaching done well is almost as if you’re letting life come to you.

Cold approaching successfully is one of the most gratifying experiences in a man’s social life.

he clearly enjoys seeing himself talk and I am sure had many experiences like the ones you envisioned. The only reason I haven’t ignored yet is because I enjoy and almost feel it a service to respond with facts and help disperse this unfortunate line of thinking.

 

[mikedee]

Couldn’t have said it better. I will add, cold approaching done well is almost as if you’re letting life come to you.

Cold approaching successfully is one of the most gratifying experiences in a man’s social life.

It's a nice feeling, even when I get rejected I feel good, I'm proud of myself. I have the balls to do something that 99.9 of men will never do because of fear, no matter how strong, tough or good looking they are.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

There's nothing degrading about giving someone a compliment and asking them out for coffee. This world has gone mad. Oh and if you wait for choosing signals, you'll miss out on potential dates. Plenty of infields of guys approaching women who didn't give an ioi and them getting the number. I've seen it myself in person. Women randomly walking by most of the time won't give an ioi even if they think you are attractive enough to date. You don't know till you ask.

Sums up my feelings exactly. I just find it funny how shocked some people are when I tell them, "You know, if you see a cute girl, you can...... go up to her and talk to her." They are often like, "Wait, really? You can DO that??" The world has truly gone mad - third wave feminism has really fvcked things up for male-female dynamics, but on the positive side, if you can do what most men won't, you'll have even greater success.

And you're right about IOIs. They are nice when you get them, but all they do is tell you a girl thinks you're hot. I have been eye-fvcked and even FOLLOWED by women who, when I stopped to talk to them, mumbled a one word response and kept walking. Ironically one example of this was in a grocery store. I was walking in the opposite direction of this super hot mid-20's girl in workout gear looking like she just came from the gym and we stared at each other as our paths crossed. I was in a hurry and kept walking, deciding not to approach her, but after about 7 seconds of walking I decided to look back and when I did she had stopped right where she passed me and had turned around 180 to stare at me. I kept going and turned left down an isle to get my toothpaste. 15 seconds later who comes walking by the area outside of the isle but her. She saw me and stopped, then turned down the isle and walked toward me. As she approached I said, "I'm all turned around since they re-arranged the store last week" and she mumbled something and just kept walking - not stopping to get anything in that isle. Just because she thinks you're hot doesn't mean she's available or willing to explore something with you - whether that's a one-night stand or traditional dating. On the other hand, there are girls who didn't happen to SEE me. Maybe they would have given me IOIs if they did, but they didn't get that chance. Just as you said, you leave a lot of opportunity on the table by only going for women giving IOIs and even women giving IOIs might reject you. I have dated and slept with women who gave me IOIs and also with women who didn't.

 

[mikedee]

Agreed. You don't need lines.
There is WAY too much thought process and mental Gymastics going on here.

She's either into you or she's not, which is based on your face and a little on your vibe/mannerisms(think a dork vs someone cool). A simple hello and giving a compliment will tell that person your "vibe". Imagine screech from saved by the bell vs zach morris just saying hello, which is an extreme example. Just them saying hello is enough to tell their social position if you walked into that fake school even for a guy. It's not just a looks difference between zach and screech. They have a different "vibe"/"energy" as well.

Looks are by far the most important on attraction. But, it's not just looks, but also vibe. You can't really do anything about your vibe unless you want to fake being someone else, which isn't likely to work out obviously.

"Vibe" plays a major role in success in sales and in being able to get people to like you, It's why you can have a terrible person who is a narcist with a ton of friends. They have charisma/good vibe and give people good emotions when they are around them. Ever met anyone you just liked platonically right away? That's a vibe.

People who are great salespeople tend to have a great vibe with people, while others won't be able to sell a thing even having great product knowledge and being very smart. People act on emotion and feelings/instinct more than logic when making a purchasing decision like a car for example. The salesman has a good vibe that allows him to take the lead and control the entire interaction. In cold approach dating, you are essentially selling yourself, which is totally emotional. Vibe is based on your looks, your facial mannerisms, the way you are dressed, the sound of your voice, tonality. Think barry white's voice as an example. Some guys try to deepen their voice when cold approaching, but this will strain your voice and is not sustainable and will properly come off an incongruent unless you're a oscar worthy character actor. Everyone has different mannerisms/the way you lips move when you talk. It's a TON of non verbal stuff going on. There's a reason women will find jason Statham as hot. He's got "bad boy energy". Women love the way statham WALKS! He's bald and like 50, but women love him. Vibe is totally as superficial as just looks and only takes a minute for a woman to figure out.

Modern entitled Women will feel "creeped out" if they perceive you as ugly, while a good looking guy saying the EXACT same thing can do no wrong and the woman will be into him.

(I'm ignorning social status/money since you need A TON of it ie be a celebrity/millionaire/college superstar athlete for it to pull off miracles)

And usually a good vibe comes from not being attached to the outcome. When you're not attached to the outcome and you're just satisfied with the fact that you have approached, there is less resistance, less awkwardness, the process of approaching is more enjoyable.
For me, talking to attractive women is not only about getting the number and a date, it's acting according to what I believe is right in terms of beliefs, values, etc.

 

[Don of the north]

And usually a good vibe comes from not being attached to the outcome. When you're not attached to the outcome and you're just satisfied with the fact that you have approached, there is less resistance, less awkwardness, the process of approaching is more enjoyable.
For me, talking to attractive women is not only about getting the number and a date, it's acting according to what I believe is right in terms of beliefs, values, etc.

I agree. You need to think of it as a process with an end goal. You're building the foundation of the house. Don't obsess over it and take it one step at a time. You have to believe eventually a woman will like you no matter how many rejections you've had and will love the fact that you approached. The best-looking guys in the world will get rejected. You should never be upset about rejection. I get upset about NOT making the approach. You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take. No guts, no glory.

Also, that being said when I was talking about vibe, no matter how good your mentality is, sean connery from james bond is going to have a "cooler" vibe than an average joe. You just have to do the best with what god gave you.

Sums up my feelings exactly. I just find it funny how shocked some people are when I tell them, "You know, if you see a cute girl, you can...... go up to her and talk to her." They are often like, "Wait, really? You can DO that??" The world has truly gone mad - third wave feminism has really fvcked things up for male-female dynamics, but on the positive side, if you can do what most men won't, you'll have even greater success.

And you're right about IOIs. They are nice when you get them, but all they do is tell you a girl thinks you're hot. I have been eye-fvcked and even FOLLOWED by women who, when I stopped to talk to them, mumbled a one word response and kept walking. Ironically one example of this was in a grocery store. I was walking in the opposite direction of this super hot mid-20's girl in workout gear looking like she just came from the gym and we stared at each other as our paths crossed. I was in a hurry and kept walking, deciding not to approach her, but after about 7 seconds of walking I decided to look back and when I did she had stopped right where she passed me and had turned around 180 to stare at me. I kept going and turned left down an isle to get my toothpaste. 15 seconds later who comes walking by the area outside of the isle but her. She saw me and stopped, then turned down the isle and walked toward me. As she approached I said, "I'm all turned around since they re-arranged the store last week" and she mumbled something and just kept walking - not stopping to get anything in that isle. Just because she thinks you're hot doesn't mean she's available or willing to explore something with you - whether that's a one-night stand or traditional dating. On the other hand, there are girls who didn't happen to SEE me. Maybe they would have given me IOIs if they did, but they didn't get that chance. Just as you said, you leave a lot of opportunity on the table by only going for women giving IOIs and even women giving IOIs might reject you. I have dated and slept with women who gave me IOIs and also with women who didn't.

Yeah agreed. IOIs can also be misread unless they completely over the top like her giving you a big smile and saying hello first, which is basically her doing a cold approach on YOU. Many times, a woman will make eye contact with you and look at you even if she has no interest. Most women are sneaky as hell to when they are actually checking you out. Unless you have a wing woman following behind you, you won't even notice.

Women aren't men and unless you are exceptionally attractive, true ioi's from strangers just walking around in your daily routine during the day are going to be exceptionally rare.

 

[Don of the north]

I think so! I mean it's a sad day when a man (or woman) can't say hi or pay someone (a stranger) a compliment without people thinking he's some sort of beta loser and the woman being approached (and responds nicely with a smile) is a hoe/skank.

Should we all just walk around stone-faced, keeping to ourselves and not interacting with anyone?

I don't get it.

I mentioned this before, but I myself (as a woman) enjoy talking to strangers (men and women), on line at the market, waiting for the train or on the train, etc. and although I won't interrupt a man while he's reading a book or the like, I will and have taken advantage of opportunities to have a conversation, wherever it leads.

Naturally, spontaneously, nothing forced or contrived.

And I'm a introvert!!

I am not seeing what the issue is.

If I looked like a male model and could get any woman I wanted, I would absolutely cold approach. The only difference is that I'd be more picky. If I saw some stunner walking by, you think I'm not going to say hello? Of course, I'm going to say hello! And saying hello is just a start. People are acting like this is a marriage proposal. It's just a quick conversation. You might decide you don't like her after talking to her for 5 minutes.

And anyone calling a woman a skank for saying yes to a coffee date from a guy who had the guts to say hello IRL is being ridiculous, On the other hand they think A woman getting it on tinder or from her "social circle"(facebook many times) is somehow totally ok when compared to cold approach? I don't get any of this. It's illogical. Even goody two shoes church girls back in the day would date a guy they met in a coffee shop or at the grocery store. That's how people used to meet all the time. So this is all b.s.

 

[patb]

I can understand how someone could get into that mindset, however, think about it like this: Are girls generally asking men out on dates? Do you just stand around and wait, actionless, for something to happen to you, like you are a passenger in life? Girls can express their interest in you in covert ways, yes, but it only happens so often, and even if they express interest in you, they aren't going to ask you out on a date - YOU still have to do that. So even if you meet a girl through your social circle, ultimately YOU the man has to put your cards down on the table and ask her out on a date, and YOU the man has to make the move for the first kiss, etc. You put yourself up for rejection by doing this (even if you are getting signals, it's not a guarantee because some women will put signals out just to get the attention but when you ask her out, she will say no) and I understand that for many people, this is uncomfortable and scary - so much so that some guys form fantasies that prevent them from facing those fears and they literally cannot see or hear genuine facts that run contrary to their protective fantasy. That's one way to go, but wouldn't it be more ideal if you could truly get yourself to a place of self-development where a girl rejecting you has no impact on your own self-esteem and sense of self worth? This would be ideal for more than just dating... it would apply in all aspects of life, work and social.

Since you have to make the first move with women in any scenario, cold approach is simply making the first move while also cutting down vast amounts of time and effort to find out who is interested in dating you and who isn't, and it gives you an endless pool of women to select from. You are not limited by the number of women in your social circle nor constrained by any social dynamics in the social circle.

I understand those who say it is like selling yourself - or cold calling, but I don't see it that way. If you watch some day-game guys on youtube, it can definitely look like that. Classic Mystery Method would be a good example of that and some guys do operate this way - as the entertainer and the panderer. That's not how it looks or feels when I do it. I am not trying to entertain her or "get her to like me". That's the wrong frame. The frame is: I am choosing to evaluate her and if she impresses me then I will give her the opportunity to get to know me better by going on a date. I see a girl, I think she is cute, I have a polite conversation with her, and IF I like talking to her and feel there is chemistry, I ask her out. If she says no, it could be for one of hundreds of reasons, but if the reason is that she is just not into me, that's ok - I can't be every woman's type. Just because this particular girl isn't into me doesn't mean I'm not desirable to vast amounts of beautiful women. The problem is - when some people first start cold approaching, they might not know or think they are desirable to vast amounts of beautiful women. This makes it harder for them to accept and believe that they are desirable while being rejected by the first handful of women they approach. But after sticking through that first rough patch and having success, it becomes a part of you forever and now you truly know it in your core. This is very powerful.



I too felt like this when I made the choice to start. But with the right mindset shift followed by a lot of success with women I used to only dream about when I was blue-pilled, things completely changed. Having a positive attitude and facing your fears head-on will bring you much more happiness in life in general, and in your romantic life.

Lastly, I hate the terms cold approach and day game. I don't see what I do as any kind of game or trick. I see it as completely normal to make conversation with strangers. Judging by the average reaction of people I start conversations with, they feel it is normal and enjoyable as well. I only use the cold approach label to have a way of quickly describing talking to women you don't know. And while you can go out with the sole purpose of approaching a bunch of women, and I have tried that myself, I have found that to be exhausting and not worth it. These days I simply do it as I go about my daily life, which is why grocery stores are so great because I'm there twice a week.

Yes, I’ve started to adopt more of an “evaluation” framework (vis a vis an entertainment one), and it’s been helpful in reducing resentment of the process. Traditional PUA advice reduces the man to a clown in a lot of ways.

 

[pipeman84]

Are girls generally asking men out on dates? Do you just stand around and wait, actionless, for something to happen to you, like you are a passenger in life? Girls can express their interest in you in covert ways, yes, but it only happens so often, and even if they express interest in you, they aren't going to ask you out on a date - YOU still have to do that. So even if you meet a girl through your social circle, ultimately YOU the man has to put your cards down on the table and ask her out on a date, and YOU the man has to make the move for the first kiss, etc.

Firstly, you're disingenuous comparing cold approaching to warm approaching...is like saying entering in a man's house because you tried the handle and found the door unlocked is the same as entering it when the door is wide open and a red carpet is laid in front of the door. Secondly a DJ doesn't ask out on dates, he makes invitations into his world...the girl can take it or leave it...and if he's calibrated enough, there's no such thing as rejected invitation or kiss.

it gives you an endless pool of women to select from.

it gives you an endless pool of unavailable women to select from. There, you missed the key word, I fixed it for you.

I am not trying to entertain her or "get her to like me". That's the wrong frame. The frame is: I am choosing to evaluate her and if she impresses me then I will give her the opportunity to get to know me better by going on a date. I see a girl, I think she is cute, I have a polite conversation with her, and IF I like talking to her and feel there is chemistry, I ask her out. If she says no, it could be for one of hundreds of reasons, but if the reason is that she is just not into me, that's ok - I can't be every woman's type.

This sounds logical on first read but has holes big enough to sink the Titanic. You just walked fast after her to catch up with her and deliver the line: "Excuse me, I just noticed you walking past, and I thought you looked really nice'. Or you went up to her in the grocery store although she's seen you but hasn't acknowledged you exist with an eye-contact for instance.

And you give a compliment or start the conversation with a phony opener. Either way you paid unsolicited attention to her. What's the currency in the male-female exchange? Attention. You paid it, you can't take it back. So you put her high on a pedestal and now you're standing there awaiting her verdict, hoping that if she shoots you down, she'll make it a quick painless one, not hit the kneecaps. And you have the naiveté to claim that YOU are the one who evaluates her? C'mon man.

 

[mikedee]

it gives you an endless pool of unavailable women to select from. There, you missed the key word, I fixed it for you.

No word was missing, @oldmanofthesea was right. It really give you "an endless pool of women to select from". Some are available, some are not. It doesn't matter.

 

[Don of the north]

If I may ask, why do you think you need to look like a male model? If you feel comfortable in your own skin, if you enjoy talking and interacting with people, there is nothing bad or wrong about taking advantage of opportunities to do just that, naturally and spontaneously.

I totally 100 percent agree, but You missed my point.

You said "it's a sad day when a man (or woman) can't say hi or pay someone (a stranger) a compliment without people thinking he's some sort of beta loser "

I was simply agreeing with you and stating cold approaching is not some low value beta thing. If I was the best-looking guy in the world I would STILL approach.

 

[mikedee]

I was teasing, I thought I mentioned that in my post.

I was replying to pipeman84's post, you didn't say anything wrong.

 

[pipeman84]

And anyone calling a woman a skank for saying yes to a coffee date from a guy who had the guts to say hello IRL is being ridiculous, On the other hand they think A woman getting it on tinder or from her "social circle"(facebook many times) is somehow totally ok when compared to cold approach? I don't get any of this. It's illogical.

No one calls a woman a skank for saying yes to a coffee date...I and many others call her a skank if she jumps on the guy's dyck after 2-3 such dates, irrespective if the guy's from Tinder or local grocery store.

Two concepts that make a big difference between the cold approach and social circle: the warm up and play it safe. In other words, the girl is already warmed up to you, she's seen you, had time to think about you. Only just that and she feels safer if she agrees to meet you, as opposed to a total stranger she's never seen in her life and with whom she interacted for 4 min.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Anyway, one of his typical openers was "Excuse me, I just noticed you walking past, and I thought you looked really nice'.

This was on the street obviously but the line could work anywhere with some tweeking depending on where a man approached, like a grocery store, dept store, wherever.

Anyway, I thought it was a great opener and I've had guys approach saying similar- they liked my look or style, and it gave me a smile no matter if I were interested and available or not.

That may seem like a nice line for an opener..but I can see outside the box.

This is chess, not checkers, and you have to be more strategic in your approach (in my opinion).

Lets break down the line..

Man: Excuse me, I just noticed you walking past, and I thought you looked really nice'.

Now sure, on the surface, that line seems nice, polite, gentlemanly, and innocent.

But the problem is; suppose she is happily married?

So basically, you just handed her a free compliment which isn't going to get you ANYWHERE.

However, if you ask her if she is single FIRST (as I do), and if she is single, THEN hit her with the..

"That's what's up. I noticed you walking past and thought you look really nice. Mind if I got your number and maybe we can do dinner & a movie".

Or you can hit her with the "Dang, you cute" FIRST, which isn't anything but a shortened version of "Excuse me, I just noticed you walking past, and I thought you looked really nice'."

It is the same message, isn't it?

3 words compared to 15.

Ill take the 3.

Anyway, I also know women who would have completely shut him down in a very harsh way.

When you pray for rain you gotta deal with the mud, too.

There's no wrong or right imo, whatever works for you.

I agree. If it is getting you laid or providing you meaningful relationships, do what works for you.

But, if it isn't..

That goes for whether a man like @pipeman84 refuses to cold approach, or the man who opens with a silly joke or chooses to have a brief chat OR a man like @We_ArE_VeNOM who prefers to cut to the chase and omit all the "yakking" (his word).

Just do whatever the hell works for you and allow others the same without all the judgments.

Sorry guys, I know some of you believe I don't belong here, but come on, live and let live for chrissakes.

It's never black and white or one "right" way.

Everyone has their own style.

$.02

I gave my insight/experiences on cold approaching and got jumped on.

So uh...

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

You are wasting your time on this INCEL. I can't decide whether he is an INCEL, a professional internet troll, or both. A key identifier of a troll is someone who presents criticisms and points for debate but deliberately makes clear errors in logic and reasoning. They do this to draw you in. A troll isn't looking to win a debate, so facts and sound logic don't matter; their goal is to push buttons and get your engagement, and by using flawed logic, they know you won't be able to resist responding. The second key indicator of a troll is that when you do jump in and prove them wrong (repeatedly), they ignore that and instead they either circle back to a claim they made 10 posts ago that you already proved wrong, or they come up with a new claim that also has logical errors. The cycle continues so long as you keep engaging them.

I mean look at the crap this guy says. He comes to a forum about DJing, says he knows best how to succeed with women and we don't, then says that his sexual history is of no relevance and won't divulge any of his LOL. Seriously, no real person is that stupid. This is troll playbook 101. If you say you know best, you had better prove your method works by sharing your results. On the other hand, I have been a wide open book about my sexual history - about my successes and my failures - both during my blue pill days when I was married and didn't know how to set boundaries or properly lead a woman, and in my red pill days after my divorce where I have enjoyed ups and downs, learned a lot, and have enjoyed abundance with many hot women half my age as well as many LTRs with them. The only reason he isn't sharing his sexual history is because he doesn't have a sexual history to share. Based on his numerous admissions of autistic behaviors like not understanding how to have a basic conversation with a stranger and his refusal to share anything about his sexual history, he has exposed himself as a 38yo virgin who has concocted a defense mechanism that he uses to protect his fragile ego. He thinks that by trying to promote his "strategy" here, he will receive confirmation that his defense mechanism is valid and that his failure with women is not actually a failure, but a working strategy. His claimed "strategy" is that very few women are worthy of him and one day, the right EXTREMELY high-value woman who fits his expectations will find him (possibly through his social circle) and chase him and until that happens, he will simply sit down and wait, sexless, womanless, lacking experience, and he has been waiting a long, long time. And clearly out of all the men a woman could choose from, a high-value woman is going to be interested in..... this guy.... and chase him LOL. Any day now. Meanwhile he grows older and older, still a virgin, while we are out there experiencing abundance with attractive women half our age and enjoying relationships with them if we so choose to, by using the very methods he claims won't work.

The one redeeming thing about this guy is his brutal honesty about his non-existent sexual history. At least he isn't making something up (yet).

He has opened his mouth and been shut down enough that I am no longer worried about new visitors to this forum mistaking anything he says for sound advice, and the only way to deal with a troll is to stop feeding them.

Interesting. Very interesting indeed.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

I personally feel that immediately asking if a woman is single is putting the cart before the horse. You are a complete stranger to a woman in a cold approach and I feel you have to be very mindful of this. When you ask if they are single, it almost conveys that you are saying, "I want to fvck you" or "I want to make you my Girlfriend" and unlike men, most women generally aren't ready to agree to either of those things based on appearance alone without at least talking to you a bit in order to assess your value and their initial impression of you. I understand that you aren't asking her to agree to those things, but by answering you with a "yes I am single", there is an implied agreement of interest to move in that direction which is a lot to ask of a girl before you've said anything else.

What I think a lot of women would do in that situation is say they aren't single even if they are. But the same woman, if you talked to her a bit first, could agree to go on a date with you if she ends up being your type and you end up being hers.

As for her being married, I'm fine with handing a woman a free compliment. I'm strongly against simping, but a single polite compliment costs you nothing. At the same time, I get where guys are coming from who feel that women should NEVER be complimented for free, especially given how many simps are out there in the world today blowing up women's egos and fvcking things up for all men in the process. But my position is that one compliment to a girl isn't putting out bad energy into the world and causing harm. If someone disagrees with me on this, I totally respect that position.

I'm not saying it won't or can't work (especially since I have never tried it), and my hunch is that it may work well in some cultures but not in others. But as others have said, if it works for you and gets you the results you want, I think it's great and props to you for pulling the trigger. The proof is always in the results. You get results, then it works. And there is no arguing with that.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

So apparently you are suggesting the very first words a man should say to me (a stranger) when he approaches me are "hi, are you single?" I'm sorry Venom that just sounds really awkward, not to mention intrusive. Even if I were available, I would not respond to that, I would just think he's weird.

First off, that is NOT what I said.

I dont know what it is with you and this selective quoting sh!t, but please, stop it..because you are coming across as disingenuous when you do so.

It is funny, because in the very next paragraph below, you address what I actually say as it pertains to the "very first thing a man should say"...which is completely different than what you are accusing me of saying above.

Jmo of course but the difference between "dang, you cute" and "Excuse me miss, I just noticed you walking past, and I thought you looked really nice" is the first sounds thirsty and bit ghetto (which some women might find sexy, I personally don't) and the second was delivered with finesse and class. It's a subtle difference but there is a distinction nevertheless (imo anyway).

You find "dang, you cute" to be ghetto and thirsty.

But guess what, I find..

"Excuse me, miss, I just noticed you walking past, and thought you look really nice"..

Not only do I find that^ line to be cheesy and borderline beta, but I cringe just typing out the words.

It does not fit my style at all.

I am direct and straight to the point.

If I tell a woman she is cute, then it is OBVIOUS I noticed her and thought she look nice.

It is almost 2023 so we can leave those cheesy Clark Gable lines in the 1950s where they belong.

I wouldn't respond to "dang you cute," or "damn you're hot!" (which I experienced on line but not IRL) but the second yes I would very much respond to that. And have, or similar as I said.

You are splitting hairs, here.

You can be the exception, but more often than not, if the woman finds the guy attractive then a small compliment of "Dang, you cute" should not be a deal breaker.

What my guy friend said (who by the way pulled A LOT of women), was a good opener, later in this thread, I even suggested adding "miss" to it as in "excuse me miss...." that is just so endearing! And cute and as I mentioned earlier, women love cute.

Yeah and little did he know, none of those women got with him based on what he said lol.

He could of said less (like I do) and got the same thing.

Alpha combined with polite and cute can be a winning combo for some women. Boyish and charmingly endearing which I personally LOVE.

Too much validation for the woman, and that is part of the problem.

And what's wrong with giving a woman a compliment regardless of whether it leads to a lay or a date or whatever? Or if she's got a boyfriend or married? If it turns out she is married or does have a boyfriend, you gave it a shot, you put a smile on her face. I don't understand your mindset about that.

No FREE validation.

You simply wish her well and be on your way.

I have no problem with that, after I get closure.

I mean no offense and I might be way off (and forgive me if I am), but it sounds like you are averse to bringing joy to a woman unless there is something in it for YOU (as in getting the lay). Even as something as simple as a compliment.

No FREE validation.

Like why bother saying 10 words instead of 3? Is it really a bother Venom? If so, why not just forget the whole thing? Seriously.

.

Simple. No need to go beyond what is required to get the job done.

I dunno, women tend to sense that energy and may turn some women off.

For the 50th time (not to you, but in general), even my rejections have been polite and I've even been complimented.

Anyway, I think the moral of this story is that certain approaches work for certain women and some don't.

If the right man approached you my way, it would work on you too.

You will attract women who are a good fit for you (even if for only one night) and other men with a different approach will attract women who are a good fit for them, again even if for only one night.

I agree.

But still..

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

I personally feel that immediately asking if a woman is single is putting the cart before the horse.

Cart before the horse? What??

Bro, if the bytch is married, wouldn't it be nice to know that part EARLY so no more of your time can be wasted??

You are a complete stranger to a woman in a cold approach and I feel you have to be very mindful of this. When you ask if they are single, it almost conveys that you are saying, "I want to fvck you"

Umm, what if I actually want to fuk her?

or "I want to make you my Girlfriend"

No. What it is saying is..

"You are cute and I am interested in you".

You are jumping to a lot of conclusions, aren't you?

and unlike men, most women generally aren't ready to agree to either of those things based on appearance alone without at least talking to you a bit in order to assess your value and their initial impression of you. I understand that you aren't asking her to agree to those things, but by answering you with a "yes I am single", there is an implied agreement of interest to move in that direction which is a lot to ask of a girl before you've said anything else.

With all due respect, that's bullsh!t.

What I think a lot of women would do in that situation is say they aren't single even if they are.

If she lies, then that is an indicator that she is not interested in you.

So you handle it like you do any other rejection; you move on.

But the same woman, if you talked to her a bit first, could agree to go on a date with you if she ends up being your type and you end up being hers.

*Sighs*

I'm not saying it won't or can't work (especially since I have never tried it), and my hunch is that it may work well in some cultures but not in others. But as others have said, if it works for you and gets you the results you want, I think it's great and props to you for pulling the trigger. The proof is always in the results. You get results, then it works. And there is no arguing with that.

Ok, I guess.