Christian Moral Structure

Billtx49

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Keep in mind that if this strick abidance to her religion was instilled by her parents that she may not consider any other personal means for observing her faith untill her parents pass away.
I saw it in the family of my first wife.
 

ChristopherColumbus

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Keep in mind that if this strick abidance to her religion was instilled by her parents that she may not consider any other personal means for observing her faith untill her parents pass away.
I saw it in the family of my first wife.
In this day and age, when too much freedom [anarchy?] and a woman's loyalty is the problem, this kind of tie is a massive advantage for an LTR/ marriage. Without it, marriage hardly makes sense.
 

Billtx49

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In this day and age, when too much freedom [anarchy?] and a woman's loyalty is the problem, this kind of tie is a massive advantage for an LTR/ marriage. Without it, marriage hardly makes sense.
Very true. That’s the plus side. The negative may be if he can’t adapt to the family religious environment regarding marriage and any children produced.
 

ChristopherColumbus

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Very true. That’s the plus side. The negative may be if he can’t adapt to the family religious environment regarding marriage and any children produced.
Yes, definitely positives and negatives. But given the way our culture has swung way out to the freedom/ anarchy/ individualistic side the positives have to way out the negatives... in so far as one desires an LTR. Those negatives also impact on your own individuality. In 'macro' terms, I'd say it's where culture/ religion comes to outweigh the ideology of the individual.
 

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So I saw the thread ''is it hard to be christian'' was closed. (don't want to have rant about why)

Dating a christian girl who recently threw at me : ''you have no moral structure''
To after my reply come back with ''I apologize, you are right, you have a moral code and its just different in our methods and approachs... it does make my mind going'' etc...

My question and answer request: ''What is the moral structure of a Christian?'' ... Aiming mostly at the Catholic Christians moral structure, concept, code and approach.
The old moral structure aka law was ten commandments...the new moral structure is to love God, and my fellow humans...so now, just one commandment...Love.
 
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Von

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Yes, definitely positives and negatives. But given the way our culture has swung way out to the freedom/ anarchy/ individualistic side the positives have to way out the negatives... in so far as one desires an LTR. Those negatives also impact on your own individuality. In 'macro' terms, I'd say it's where culture/ religion comes to outweigh the ideology of the individual.

Very true. That’s the plus side. The negative may be if he can’t adapt to the family religious environment regarding marriage and any children produced.
I agree.... it's really hard for me with this.

I've been in her aunt/uncle side of the family for a few trips in another state (province).... they are TOTALLY NORMAL .... they are deep believers: pro-life, pray, organize pilgrimmage etc... but they all have normal jobs (and some are high rank), great houses, 2-3 kids (some had divorces, adopted kids, remarried etc..) ... a religious typical mid-class family...

Her dad side (cause they don't see her mom side of the family, they are all over the place)... they only have 1 aunt in the same city, with also 10 kids..... anyway: they live the ghetto (parents never had jobs, 10 kids, only go out for groceries and church), secluded extreme religious.... So its a first for her: Dating, having an ''outsider'' etc...

So I do have worries if I marry her.... it might trap me, what will be the influence of her family in my family unit (me-her-kids)... might never be enough , the frame push.

But I do see in her all the qualities of a LTR and life partner (including she is traditional so might avoid all the ''girl phase looking everywhere''.

What will happen after her parents are gone (mine will likely go first since they older) ? .... don't know but I've seen it in my family too (my grandpa was the same extremist in religious view... soon he died... everything that was outlawed by him ... my grandmother started doing it... Buying a pair of short was her first act)... likely they will be more liberal. (i do feel the kids, sometimes feel its pushed on them more than they want)

Anyway, great girl... great potential... but I don't act on potential. Sometimes I feel she doesn't want to go out and meet my friends etc.. (we keep getting invited)... she's a nurse... so I understand for her... no work time = sleep time.

Thanks for the sharing... keep posting anything that might help me understand it.

Anyway, she wants me to read Jason Evert PureManhood book (chastity stuff) and go to the seminar ''Theology of the body'' by Christopher West
 

Billtx49

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Anyway, she wants me to read Jason Evert PureManhood book (chastity stuff) and go to the seminar ''Theology of the body'' by Christopher West
Almost sounds like blue balls until marriage indoctrination course.
When I make a large investment like a car or woman, I usually want a test drive first.
 
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Von

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Almost sounds like blue balls until marriage indoctrination course.
When I make a large investment like a car or woman, I usually want a test drive first.
Agreed, its my philosophy too. Hence, why I feel the lack of real relationship.... from experience you never know the person until you live with her/him.

Although it's really real for her.

Last night, 2 girls approached me when our look crossed... they came to me... it's been happening more and more in the past weeks. I didn't capitalize on it (number close) but it's more and more tempting.
 

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Life is full of choices. The differences in your religious backgrounds may be a compatibility issue though…
 

Von

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Life is full of choices. The differences in your religious backgrounds may be a compatibility issue though…
Yes, it is... I am learning slowly... (gonna read her stuff and the bible in break time etc...)

Focusing on the business and the studies..

She's extremely low maintenance and seems to be ready to avoid going out as much as possible (and with my friends) lol... so not much investment or demand from my part. She's making it easy... but hard to feel progress

At least my frame is getting stronger and stronger. I'll give it until January to make a conclusive decision.... not gonna post here all the time about my LTR. Just seeking stuff to improve and go faster in the learning process of her faith.

I got bigger and more important worries than her... also, I am gonna make a point of accepting that girls approach me and I should number close them to keep sharp.

I live like a monk (work-study-gym-dance-musicconcert or the girl) , it makes my options shrink (cause I only go to dance school, gym, concerthall in my free time... but girls been approaching me there recently as mentionned) and I found a really interesting girl but for religious background than to be distant... so I am thoughtful when it comes to make a decision.

Sex is not an issue or anything like that (I am never horny lol)... but I wanna see progress in everything I do... (the test drive)
 

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Yes, definitely positives and negatives. But given the way our culture has swung way out to the freedom/ anarchy/ individualistic side the positives have to way out the negatives... in so far as one desires an LTR. Those negatives also impact on your own individuality. In 'macro' terms, I'd say it's where culture/ religion comes to outweigh the ideology of the individual.
Does she have a sister is what I want to know.
 

ChristopherColumbus

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Almost sounds like blue balls until marriage indoctrination course.
When I make a large investment like a car or woman, I usually want a test drive first.
The way these things usually work out in practice in religious circles is that in the engagement period, when the two of you are pretty much locked in, things... develop.
 

Von

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The way these things usually work out in practice in religious circles is that in the engagement period, when the two of you are pretty much locked in, things... develop.
But that's for the Jews and the Muslims.. (according to the GF... who was using Virgin Mary as example... in jewish tradition she was engaged... so technically she could have been ''not virgin''

Christians... marriage lock first.... and damn all these book about chastity lol.

If the question about sisters was to me.... Exhausted: she has 4 sisters (2 became nuns, the 2 eldest), one is underage, one is around 20
 

ChristopherColumbus

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But that's for the Jews and the Muslims.. (according to the GF... who was using Virgin Mary as example... in jewish tradition she was engaged... so technically she could have been ''not virgin''

Christians... marriage lock first.... and damn all these book about chastity lol.

If the question about sisters was to me.... Exhausted: she has 4 sisters (2 became nuns, the 2 eldest), one is underage, one is around 20
Well, as you said, you have a low sex drive, so chastity, for a short period, should not be a problem for you.
 

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Well, as you said, you have a low sex drive, so chastity, for a short period, should not be a problem for you.
Yeah that part is actually the less of an issue.

It's the commitment to someone you don't know that bothers me. Sure, I can see her 1 day or 2hours a week... but what that gives me or her?

Doesn't want to move in before marriage, no sex sure etc.. etc..

But also sometimes I feel that she also doesnt want to go out with me and my friends (avoid social settings) ... and put it ''i need my space or do stuff in my house'' (I get she has 10 brothers and sisters, love sowing, dancing, cook, work intensively as a nurse)... but still... I know she wants me to pass my exams fast too... but she ain't here with me while I study.

She did extrapolate a few things I said ... to the point .. she had stopped inviting me at her parent place (when at the beginning it was every week etc..)

So she's an insecure, inexperience, secluded, ideological young women with a heart and brain of gold

Are differents are clearly ideological in the term of ''living''... At least the priest at mass and the bible reading keep supporting my points :p

I'ill make a decision in January... its not about the sex... its about the feeling of a real relationship, some red flags and its starting to feel complicated in my head... I don't do complicated.

I know I have to stay a strong leader... but there is so many unknowns (or its just me who's making it complicated like I love to do sometimes.... )
 
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Von

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You should distract her from her Bible talk with some romantic poetry:

How beautiful you are and how pleasing,
my love, with your delights!
Your stature is like that of the palm,
and your breasts like clusters of fruit.
I said, “I will climb the palm tree;
I will take hold of its fruit.”
May your breasts be like clusters of grapes on the vine,
the fragrance of your breath like apples,
and your mouth like the best wine.

(just kidding, that is the Bible, The Song of Solomon)
I whispered to her this... she jumped into my chest and started signing the poems.. Wow it literally took her and she became al over me (while controlling her sex desire)... she was submit to her love to me.

You have other Song of Solomon? Where can i find them (like a quote book, or à website with just that)
 

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I whispered to her this... she jumped into my chest and started signing the poems.. Wow it literally took her and she became al over me (while controlling her sex desire)... she was submit to her love to me.

You have other Song of Solomon? Where can i find them (like a quote book, or à website with just that)
That is both hilarious and great to hear. Here's the wiki page about it. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Song_of_Songs

I was quoting the "New International Version" of the bible, abbreviated NIV. Here is a link to read it online, you will have to scroll through the pages, there are several: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Song of Songs
 

Von

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I am currently in France.

Last week, I was in Portugal Lisboa.

My gf is Catholic christian.

We went to a Portuguese Mass at a church. This mass was spécial.

Spécial: Why and how?

The Mass kept the Pre-Vatican 2 ceremony. The priest was assisted by 2 young boy, he would talk his back to the crowd. Etc.

Now i noticed something spécial about the attendance.

The attendance: Women were Veiled, 80% were Man, all under 30 years old.

My GF said that the Vatican 2 (after 1960) was more a feminist catholic church.

The pre-1960 talk more about Man, Royalty of Jesus.

So the Conservative catholic church of pre-1960... Appeal to young man.

There was not a single gray haïr outside of the priest.

While all the "current standard church"have only old people and immigrants.

Is traditionalism a way to préserve manhood?

Some posters talk of Jordan Peterson... Jordan Peterson has great lectures on the Bible and it's symbolism in Secular world, but he's also a no-sex no cohabit before marriage advocate.

Just wanted to share my discovery of how the " old catholic church" as more appeal to young man
 

ChristopherColumbus

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I am currently in France.

Last week, I was in Portugal Lisboa.

My gf is Catholic christian.

We went to a Portuguese Mass at a church. This mass was spécial.

Spécial: Why and how?

The Mass kept the Pre-Vatican 2 ceremony. The priest was assisted by 2 young boy, he would talk his back to the crowd. Etc.

Now i noticed something spécial about the attendance.

The attendance: Women were Veiled, 80% were Man, all under 30 years old.

My GF said that the Vatican 2 (after 1960) was more a feminist catholic church.

The pre-1960 talk more about Man, Royalty of Jesus.

So the Conservative catholic church of pre-1960... Appeal to young man.

There was not a single gray haïr outside of the priest.

While all the "current standard church"have only old people and immigrants.

Is traditionalism a way to préserve manhood?

Some posters talk of Jordan Peterson... Jordan Peterson has great lectures on the Bible and it's symbolism in Secular world, but he's also a no-sex no cohabit before marriage advocate.

Just wanted to share my discovery of how the " old catholic church" as more appeal to young man
This is why I converted to the Catholic Church. The Protestant sects are rife with all sorts of secular ideologies... most noticeably feminism these days.
 
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