Chick withholding sex- need some perspective

[iqqi]

"Thinking with their heads"....lol

The fact that you "lol" at the concept of a chick thinking, might have something to do with why you can't find a chick "worthy" of your "affections".

Consider THAT.

 

[Luveno]

Pure ASD

This is a simple problem.

Her "withholding sex" isn't truly withholding. She felt the need to mention how she's not going to have sex with you because she knows that there's a fairly high chance it will happen, so she is obligated to tell you it won't happen to satisfy her ASD.

Women don't do what they say they'll do. Come on now!

You're blowing this way out of proportion. All you had to do was change the frame of the accusation.


Her: I'm staying over, but we're not having sex.

You: Of course not. That'd cost you extra.

or

You: Sex? How easy do you think I am??

or

You: You're thinking about sex already? You dirty bird

or...anything else really.

Easily handled.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

I get mad props. Its just usually undercover. Besides, TM loves me.

Just when I think I have everything under control a girl always sneaks her way into my heart.


*stuffs his face with pages upon pages of the DJ BIBLE*

*chokes and dies*



Edit: It's just that I have extensive experience with this certain subject. I can totally see where both parties are coming from.

It really isn't as simple as just laying down intangible rules and expecting both parties to follow it. As I said before, make the rules for your game and find another player willing to play by them. You'll have a good game.

Just like XBOX live. You're playing call of duty 4 and you don't want to play "capture the flag" and you're not having a good time because you don't like the way it's set up. If you want to play a "diffuse the bomb" by all means exit CTF and go into the "DTB" lobby. You'll find yourself fragging other players who enjoy DTB in perfect harmony.

Yes I'm using video games metaphors for life advice.

*chokes on a controller*

 

[iqqi]

Just when I think I have everything under control a girl always sneaks her way into my heart.

It wouldn't last. I am not all the way insane. That's YOUR type.

 

[lookyoung]

In my situation, I let the girl come to my house and I ate her pvssy all night because hey, I like eating pvssy and she was hot. She wouldn't let me do anything else but that's OK too. I had my mind made up that I wasn't going to care about her. I just beat off right after.

This made me laugh so hard....:crackup: :crackup: :crackup: Thanks for the laugh. If this is your idea of a good time than thats great. I have never heard of something like this ever happening in my life. This girl I guess was what I would call an alpha female. Nothing feminine about her.

Did you even kiss her? Or she didn't let you do that either?

 

[ThunderMaverick]

It wouldn't last. I am not all the way insane. That's YOUR type.

I see you've read my last post.

You could always fill out an application though. We'll have a "probation period".
lololawl

 

[iqqi]

I see you've read my last post.

You could always fill out an application though. We'll have a "probation period".
lololawl

Well.

I actually have been on probation.

.....

 

[ThunderMaverick]

Well.

I actually have been on probation.

.....

O___O

Ok I'm going to stop this before the thread gets completely hijacked.

Check your PM box

 

[ketostix]

What a load of CRAP.

Want sex, DON'T want sex....WTF??????

It doesn't work that way iqqi.

A woman is either INTO you and wants to bang the hell outa you, or she's NOT into you and simply wants attention, or she's INTO YOU, but for some reason feels as if she has to play games to set things to her advantage.



No, STR8UP expects a woman to be a WOMAN and not play the sex card for a childish reason. She's 22. She is an ADULT. Grown people don't play these stupid ass kid games, unless they are trying to gain control of a situation.



I offered my place to be able to spend time with her, and she started making "rules". That's a power play, and I don't bend to a power play. Had she approached me DIFFERENTLY, I might have responded differently. But for her to say point blank "NO SEX" is her laying down the law and that isn't the way a relationship should start, ESPECIALLY when we have been intimate in the past.



You know, had she NOT came out and said directly "NO SEX" this might be a different story. But for her to start making rules before we even get together.....I'm not feelin it.



Typical female response.

It isn't about SEX, it's about CONTROL and MANIPULATION.

This is what is impossible for chicks to understand.

Substitute "sex" with anything else. If a woman started making rules about anything else it would be the same story. But you know what? Women CAN'T make demands about anything else because the only bargaining chip they have is a wet hole between their legs.



Any man who is indeed a MAN knows that this is undeniably TRUE. Women generally DO NOT go for extended periods without being sexually active.

I totally agree with this Str8up. And iqqi is so full of crap. She is just saying what every other female-centric girl would say. My point was yes it was about manipulation and/or ASD. But it's pointless calling a woman out on it and having a rational and verbal discussion about the issue of sex. Best to just not address her silly words like "no sex" and let things play out.

 

[cordoncordon]

This made me laugh so hard....:crackup: :crackup: :crackup: Thanks for the laugh. If this is your idea of a good time than thats great. I have never heard of something like this ever happening in my life. This girl I guess was what I would call an alpha female. Nothing feminine about her.

Did you even kiss her? Or she didn't let you do that either?

I tried to tell him this but apparently him and Karma think this is an OK thing to do. No wonder they are both on this website lol.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

:crackup:

 

[Señor Fingers]

What a load of CRAP.

Want sex, DON'T want sex....WTF??????

It's not the sex she doesn't want per se, it's the confusing feelings that come with it. If a friend of mine just got out of a serious relationship and he is going through some deep sh!t, I'm not going to tell him to go bang some wh0res, because he is fragile and may confuse sex with love in his vulnerable state.

A woman is either INTO you and wants to bang the hell outa you, or she's NOT into you and simply wants attention, or she's INTO YOU, but for some reason feels as if she has to play games to set things to her advantage.

OR she actually likes you and considers you to be potential LTR material, but doesn't want to rush things because that's precisely what has ruined things in the past.

It isn't about SEX, it's about CONTROL and MANIPULATION.

I dunno man... from here it looks like it's more about her protecting her heart than anything else. She already knows you guys have chemistry and there is a very real chance you would hook up, so she was straight up with you and put her cards on the table.

If she REALLY wanted to manipulate you, she would just show up at your house and resist all your advances, basically using you for free shelter.

The only thing she is trying to gain control of right now is over her emotions so they don't get the best of her.. apparently you trigger some strong feelings that scare her a bit. I would take it as a compliment.

Just like XBOX live. You're playing call of duty 4 and you don't want to play "capture the flag" and you're not having a good time because you don't like the way it's set up. If you want to play a "diffuse the bomb" by all means exit CTF and go into the "DTB" lobby. You'll find yourself fragging other players who enjoy DTB in perfect harmony.

LOL.. you're such a geek dude. That is some solid insight though. If more people communicated their expectations from the jump, and played the game they wanted. there would be a LOT less drama overall.

 

[squirrels]

Dude, if she's not comfortable with sex NOW, she'll NEVER be. A guy like you needs a woman who's going to take sex for what it IS, not someone who views it as "morally repugnant". Maybe you already broke it off with her, maybe not. I'm not reading all 5 pages. But I've stopped seeing girls because they've been uncomfortable with a KISS.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

Dude, if she's not comfortable with sex NOW, she'll NEVER be. A guy like you needs a woman who's going to take sex for what it IS, not someone who views it as "morally repugnant". Maybe you already broke it off with her, maybe not. I'm not reading all 5 pages. But I've stopped seeing girls because they've been uncomfortable with a KISS.

You should read the 5 pages. Your points regarding this situation are a little off.

 

[Luthor Rex]

The fact that you "lol" at the concept of a chick thinking, might have something to do with why you can't find a chick "worthy" of your "affections".

Consider THAT.

Siqqi has a good point here: most women are terminally stupid, and Str8up does seem to need brainpower so that presents a serious problem.

Does Mensa have singles groups? Maybe penkitten could introduce Str8up to some of those women. Or maybe he just needs to pick another self-selecting group where higher-iq women may be. Maybe professional level theater or music, places with science... ok my list is coming up short here.

 

[STR8UP]

I totally agree with this Str8up. And iqqi is so full of crap. She is just saying what every other female-centric girl would say. My point was yes it was about manipulation and/or ASD. But it's pointless calling a woman out on it and having a rational and verbal discussion about the issue of sex. Best to just not address her silly words like "no sex" and let things play out.

We are both in agreement on this, the only question is damage control procedures. It's ridiculous how you can't say what's on your mind with people just because they don't understand how their OWN mind works, but hey, I guess it's part of dealing with people, and when it comes to women it's ALL about letting what you know go out the window and simply guiding her feelings.

That I didn't do a very good job of in this situation.

 

[STR8UP]

It's not the sex she doesn't want per se, it's the confusing feelings that come with it. If a friend of mine just got out of a serious relationship and he is going through some deep sh!t, I'm not going to tell him to go bang some wh0res, because he is fragile and may confuse sex with love in his vulnerable state.

This is the same chick that told me that she was surprised at how little effect the breakup had on her. "Boo hoo, I'm sad" doesn't work after she's already stated otherwise.

And women having enough control over their feelings and emotional state to be able to "take a step back", so to speak?? Not in the world I've been living in for 36 years. Like I said, she either doesn't want me (which I know is not true), or she DOES want me and knows that I want sex and is putting up ASD after the fact, or she is using this as a tool, neither of which helps my attraction level toward her.

OR she actually likes you and considers you to be potential LTR material, but doesn't want to rush things because that's precisely what has ruined things in the past.

You REALLY think women (much less a 22 yr old) is self aware enough to exercise this kind of control over herself? Consider all of the factors here.

If she REALLY wanted to manipulate you, she would just show up at your house and resist all your advances, basically using you for free shelter.

She doesn't need me for free shelter. She has a place to stay. My place would be an alternate.

The only thing she is trying to gain control of right now is over her emotions so they don't get the best of her.. apparently you trigger some strong feelings that scare her a bit. I would take it as a compliment.

Which is EXACTLY why it makes this whole thing not sit well with me. Women don't sit around and rationalize. They follow their emotions and justify their actions LATER.

 

[STR8UP]

Siqqi has a good point here: most women are terminally stupid, and Str8up does seem to need brainpower so that presents a serious problem.

Does Mensa have singles groups? Maybe penkitten could introduce Str8up to some of those women. Or maybe he just needs to pick another self-selecting group where higher-iq women may be. Maybe professional level theater or music, places with science... ok my list is coming up short here.

This chick is actually VERY intelligent. But women aren't exactly known to let their good sense and intelligence guide them.

 

[STR8UP]

Women don't do what they say they'll do. Come on now!

You're blowing this way out of proportion. All you had to do was change the frame of the accusation.


Her: I'm staying over, but we're not having sex.

You: Of course not. That'd cost you extra.

See, here's the problem.

I have TRIED to do this NUMEROUS times over the past month or two, trying to get this diffused, and each time I hit a brick wall.

I admit, this is ALL words.....she lives two hours away, so it isn't like we COULD have gotten together, but the point is I was trying to re-establish a sexual frame with her and she wasn't playing along.

And did I mention that our relationship was SUPER sexual in the past? Like the kind where by the time we got to the bedroom we were horny as fukk, I would shove my dikk in her mouth like she'd been begging for it all day and she would straddle my face with her pu$$y without an invite. THAT kind of sexual.

To go from that to "I want to wait....sex will complicate things" is utter BS and wreaks of a hidden agenda.

 

[frivolousz21]

dont take this as an attack

but she is 22? what are you getting out of this...I am 25.5 years old..and I could probably stand being around 5 percent of 22 year old females.
even though one of my guys is 37 year old army ranger or just retired and he has been happily falling in love with a 23 year old for 8 months now.

other than sex, what does this women do for you? do you feel a connection? euphoria? what makes this girl so special to you.