Chick withholding sex- need some perspective

[lookyoung]

dont take this as an attack

but she is 22? what are you getting out of this...I am 25.5 years old..and I could probably stand being around 5 percent of 22 year old females.
even though one of my guys is 37 year old army ranger or just retired and he has been happily falling in love with a 23 year old for 8 months now.

other than sex, what does this women do for you? do you feel a connection? euphoria? what makes this girl so special to you.

I disagree with you on this. I am dating a woman that just turned 21 and we get along well. Age is nothing but a number. If a girl is 20 and she displays a sweet character, is feminine, and has strong morals than I am all for younger woman.

The older woman I have dated meaning in the 27-31 range at times can be more miserable and are DESPERATE to get into a relationship. With younger woman sometimes things are more natural. Plus I think they are usually hotter.

 

[frivolousz21]

I disagree with you on this. I am dating a woman that just turned 21 and we get along well. Age is nothing but a number. If a girl is 20 and she displays a sweet character, is feminine, and has strong morals than I am all for younger woman.

The older woman I have dated meaning in the 27-31 range at times can be more miserable and are DESPERATE to get into a relationship. With younger woman sometimes things are more natural. Plus I think they are usually hotter.

I wasn't trying to say he shouldn't..

the only reason I say I can't stand being around them is intelligence and priorities.

your dead right however..you will find many great young vibrant, sweet women out there.

 

[STR8UP]

Well, she IS in that 5%, otherwise i would agree.

But the thing is, most women never grow up. It's the same old BS when they are 32 as when they are 22, except the 22 yr olds aren't usually man haters.

I was hanging out with a 32-33 yr old last weekend. Now she's an exception to the rule in that she is VOCAL about her feelings of how "men suck", whereas most women have enough sense to at least keep it to themselves or at most reserve it for the odd snide remark. But all in all I have found that single women in their 30's are more critical of men, and no easier to get along with than their younger rivals.

 

[##17]

STR8UP, don't take this the wrong way, because I do like your posts. But look at what is happening here. You're getting *emotional* and *outcome-dependent* over a 22-year-old girl. Who was immature enough to have disrespected her engagement.

You're getting hung up over someone low-character. Isn't this the kind of bad judgement we bash *women* over?

 

[Señor Fingers]

Women don't sit around and rationalize. They follow their emotions and justify their actions LATER.

She already knows you guys have intense chemistry and it scares her.. that is not rationalization, it is FEAR, a very real and powerful emotion which can be stronger than one's desire to get their rocks off.

Part of you knows this and you feel guilty, not about your choice, but how you handled the situation... otherwise you wouldn't be posting this here.

Now, if you know for a fact that she is running round town giving up the poon like there's a liquidation sale going on to every Tom D!ck and Harry but giving you the prude treatment, then yeah you are being played for a fool.

But all in all I have found that single women in their 30's are more critical of men, and no easier to get along with than their younger rivals.

Really? I find them to be more accepting and desperate.. the biological clock is ticking and they are much less picky than they were when they were 18-year-old princesses. That's just my experience though, I never met the women from your town (though your posts make me feel like I aint missing much)

Speaking of which, going off topic a bit.. do you have any positive feelings whatsoever towards women? Your posts pretty much all carry a variation of any of the following messages

• Women are stupid
• Women are unfaithful
• Women have no scruples
• Women play games
• Women will dump you for someone better
• Women are devious
• Women BS and mindfukk you at every turn

Over and over it's the same vibe. What's going on dude? Are you okay?
Does a woman piss in your Cheerios every morning?

 

[STR8UP]

Speaking of which, going off topic a bit.. do you have any positive feelings whatsoever towards women? Your posts pretty much all carry a variation of any of the following messages

• Women are stupid

Never said anything of the sort.

• Women are unfaithful

PEOPLE have the tendency to be unfaithful. Women's infidelity is all too often played down. Women are fukking around more than anyone (including the women themslves) would like to believe.

• Women have no scruples

It's a dog eat dog world out there, and all is fair in love and war. Women are being women. They do what is in their best interest to secure their future, and that often means they will behave "unscrupulously".

• Women play games

Um, yea, they do.

• Women will dump you for someone better

It is more of a possibility than you would like to believe.

• Women are devious

PEOPLE are devious.

• Women BS and mindfukk you at every turn

Yes and no. I attribute much of what goes on to nature playing itself out. Women's covert nature and the fact that they are physically weaker will always make women the more manipulative sex though, that's a fact.

Over and over it's the same vibe. What's going on dude? Are you okay?
Does a woman piss in your Cheerios every morning?

Not that i should have to repeat myself, but I wil in case you weren't tuned in-

You see ONE dimension of me. I come here to talk about ONE THING. Here I am free to discuss things that I can't in real life, and it doesn't exactly paint an accurate picture of who I really am.

Make sense?

 

[KarmaSutra]

No wonder they are both on this website lol.

Dumbass. Pot say hi to kettle.

 

[##17]

Never said anything of the sort.



PEOPLE have the tendency to be unfaithful. Women's infidelity is all too often played down. Women are fukking around more than anyone (including the women themslves) would like to believe.



It's a dog eat dog world out there, and all is fair in love and war. Women are being women. They do what is in their best interest to secure their future, and that often means they will behave "unscrupulously".



Um, yea, they do.



It is more of a possibility than you would like to believe.



PEOPLE are devious.



Yes and no. I attribute much of what goes on to nature playing itself out. Women's covert nature and the fact that they are physically weaker will always make women the more manipulative sex though, that's a fact.



Not that i should have to repeat myself, but I wil in case you weren't tuned in-

You see ONE dimension of me. I come here to talk about ONE THING. Here I am free to discuss things that I can't in real life, and it doesn't exactly paint an accurate picture of who I really am.

Make sense?

I'll ask this again: Why do you go after these kinds of women? What you say about the bad side of women has some truth to it, but (in this case, at least) you are going after this girl DESPITE the signs that she gave that she is immature and is likely to cause problems. It's like a woman who pursues a guy despite all the warning signs that he is not a good person to be in a relationship with. If she burns you, its your own fault, because you've been warned...

There are women who are more mature out there....

 

[ketostix]

Never said anything of the sort.



PEOPLE have the tendency to be unfaithful. Women's infidelity is all too often played down. Women are fukking around more than anyone (including the women themslves) would like to believe.



It's a dog eat dog world out there, and all is fair in love and war. Women are being women. They do what is in their best interest to secure their future, and that often means they will behave "unscrupulously".



Um, yea, they do.



It is more of a possibility than you would like to believe.



PEOPLE are devious.



Yes and no. I attribute much of what goes on to nature playing itself out. Women's covert nature and the fact that they are physically weaker will always make women the more manipulative sex though, that's a fact.



Not that i should have to repeat myself, but I wil in case you weren't tuned in-

You see ONE dimension of me. I come here to talk about ONE THING. Here I am free to discuss things that I can't in real life, and it doesn't exactly paint an accurate picture of who I really am.

Make sense?

How many times will you have to explain that to some people here before it sinks in? I'll bet anything you'll be accused again of being a "woman hater" in no time lol.

 

[Señor Fingers]

You see ONE dimension of me. I come here to talk about ONE THING. Here I am free to discuss things that I can't in real life, and it doesn't exactly paint an accurate picture of who I really am.

In that case it sure would be nice to see the side of you that is actually successful with women, (as entertaining as your angry, frustrated side is.)

How many times will you have to explain that to some people here before it sinks in? I'll bet anything you'll be accused again of being a "woman hater" in no time lol.

I wonder where people would get that impression from?

 

[Luthor Rex]

You see ONE dimension of me. I come here to talk about ONE THING. Here I am free to discuss things that I can't in real life, and it doesn't exactly paint an accurate picture of who I really am.

Make sense?

This is a VERY good point that often goes missed on the Internet. In fact, it often goes missed in real life as well.

People who know the 'nerd'-me who likes reading books about science are suprised when they go in my basemet and find a motorcycle. "What's that nerd doing with a bike", they ask.

At the same time someone who I've met while out riding will catch me at the Folger Theater seeing one of Shakespear's plays and say "What's that biker/wild-man doing dressed up and hanging out with snobs."

Part of the problem is so many people ARE one-dimentional and expect the same of everyone else. "What? You can't like motorcycles and stage plays!" It shatters their fragile little minds.

I'm sure the people who know Str8up as the owner of a store don't think of his DJ-side.

 

[Cesare Cardinali]

STR8UP, I've know you a long time buddy and have counted on you many times in the old days to give me some solid advice.

So I say this with only the most positive intentions, but I agree that recently your posts have been very woman hating. And in fact, you mention that women at 22 are less man hating than those at 32, yet you yourself seem to be turning into the equivalent.

And in a sense, we are all here to vent and stuff but also to learn and improve. And there is a camp of people that simply support this notion that women are evil and need to be handled ruthlessly or else they will walk all over you. And these guys think they are *not AFC*, and they are not. They are ADC... Average Disgruntled Chump. The frustration has been replaced with being disgruntled, but they are no better off because they still can't handle women in a way that makes them happy (i.e. still can't succeed with women). Don't become one of those guys!

Cesare Cardinali

 

[iqqi]

STR8UP, I've know you a long time buddy and have counted on you many times in the old days to give me some solid advice.

So I say this with only the most positive intentions, but I agree that recently your posts have been very woman hating. And in fact, you mention that women at 22 are less man hating than those at 32, yet you yourself seem to be turning into the equivalent.

And in a sense, we are all here to vent and stuff but also to learn and improve. And there is a camp of people that simply support this notion that women are evil and need to be handled ruthlessly or else they will walk all over you. And these guys think they are *not AFC*, and they are not. They are ADC... Average Disgruntled Chump. The frustration has been replaced with being disgruntled, but they are no better off because they still can't handle women in a way that makes them happy (i.e. still can't succeed with women). Don't become one of those guys!

Cesare Cardinali

Five billion thumbs up, and rep points, if only I could give you more.

ect...

 

[Luthor Rex]

STR8UP, I've know you a long time buddy and have counted on you many times in the old days to give me some solid advice.

So I say this with only the most positive intentions, but I agree that recently your posts have been very woman hating. And in fact, you mention that women at 22 are less man hating than those at 32, yet you yourself seem to be turning into the equivalent.

And in a sense, we are all here to vent and stuff but also to learn and improve. And there is a camp of people that simply support this notion that women are evil and need to be handled ruthlessly or else they will walk all over you. And these guys think they are *not AFC*, and they are not. They are ADC... Average Disgruntled Chump. The frustration has been replaced with being disgruntled, but they are no better off because they still can't handle women in a way that makes them happy (i.e. still can't succeed with women). Don't become one of those guys!

Cesare Cardinali

Riding the line between 'realistic' and 'cynic' can be very difficult sometimes.

Str8up seems like a rather bright guy, and that means he probably picks up on a lot of sublties other people miss. Which is important because when you're the kind of person who picks up on the sub-conscious cues others give off you'll often "see through" others in a way that can sometimes make you 'know them better than they know themselves'.

Many people are so wrapped up in their own egos without knowing it that they do a lot of things that are casually vicious without realizing it. I've known husbands / wives who talk sh!t about their spouce all the time, but if you call them on it they insist that they 'love' thier s.o. and in fact I believe they believe it.

The capacity for self-deception and the acceptability of self-deception in American culture is rather high. When you're outside of the matrix and can see this kind of crap on daily basis you can come to think you're surrounded by villains. But the reality is, they are just douchebags; they aren't clever enough to be sinister.

I suspect that Str8up and other cynical guys see the self-deception rampant in those around them and think the world is an evil place, when actually the world is an ignorant place.

Yes, I realize it is a small consolation that people aren't consciously evil... because quite often ignorance and premeditated azz-hattery have the same end results.

 

[Colossus]

MM is for closers only.

Haha, yes! Glengarry Glenross

 

[Colossus]

I dont really have much to add outside of what Fingz and Cesare have said; but they are right. I dont know what you are like in 'real life' Str8up, but on this board you are the token cynic.

From what i gather from your posts, you associate with a lot of dishonest, selfish charlatans. Latinoman blasted you about it in a past thread, which was harsh, but true. Your discolored view of humanity in general probably has a lot to do with the company you keep. And i have a hunch it has a LOT to do with your line of work, whatever that may be.

Secondly, i think you are dodging some deeper issues by repeatedly going after women in their early 20's. Why dude? Yeah, they are fine to the touch, but fvcking around with women that young just invites unnecessary drama and strife into your world, and you keep going back to it. You say that older women are more cynical and shrewd, which is true to a degree, but I think there is a deeper reason you dont relate well to women your age.

I am not trying to add to the heap of Str8up blasting. Despite your cynicism you are still well-liked here, and i think you have great potential to be a positive force in the DJ world, which is why I chime in.

 

[Luveno]

STR8UP, I've know you a long time buddy and have counted on you many times in the old days to give me some solid advice.

So I say this with only the most positive intentions, but I agree that recently your posts have been very woman hating. And in fact, you mention that women at 22 are less man hating than those at 32, yet you yourself seem to be turning into the equivalent.

And in a sense, we are all here to vent and stuff but also to learn and improve. And there is a camp of people that simply support this notion that women are evil and need to be handled ruthlessly or else they will walk all over you. And these guys think they are *not AFC*, and they are not. They are ADC... Average Disgruntled Chump. The frustration has been replaced with being disgruntled, but they are no better off because they still can't handle women in a way that makes them happy (i.e. still can't succeed with women). Don't become one of those guys!

Cesare Cardinali

I completely agree. The nature of STR8s posts for the last few months have been very negative towards women.

We all know that women can be selfish, disgusting creatures who'd step on their own mothers to get what they want. But this is human nature and men can be like this too - it shouldn't be surprising to anyone who's been in the game as long as you.

Sure it can be tiring, and it can foster a sense of hopelessness within, but complaining about it is like complaining about the weather - its feels good to vent, but it does little to change the situation.

It seems like you don't have an anchor in your life, be it a close friend, or close family, and you feel alone and suspicious of everyone. Am I correct?

 

[Latinoman]

So I have been talking to the 22 yr old lately who is thinking about moving into town.

She's the one who just broke up with her LDR "fiancee".

Anyway, I have known that she wants a relationship for a long time, and although I know that we would probably never work out long term, I have entertained the possibility of getting together with her.

She's coming back into town next weekend and I invited her to stay with me. She accepted the invite but said it was on one condition- no sex.

Here's the problem. Since she started talking about moving here and there was talk about "us", I started to get the feeling that this day would come. I would try to start playful conversations with her, and she was always careful not to let it progress.

See, we have had sex in the past. So it isn't like going into a normal situation where I would be a little more forgiving of a chick who for whatever reason doesn't give it up immediately.

Since we have had sex several times before, this is a HUUUUUGE red flag.

"I just want to take things slow, get to know each other emotionally. Sex clouds things"

"I don't want to make the same mistakes I've made in the past"

"I talked to my friend about this and it's all so clear"

"I just got out of a relationship and it was more serious than you realize. I need some time."

It might not have been a wise move on my part, but I called her on the BS as soon as she said "no sex". And what did that do? Of course, it made me look like an a$$hole. Like the only thing I want is sex.

I basically told her that I don't play these kinds of games, that ESPECIALLY when two people have had sex in the past, that it's a bad sign when a woman uses sex in this way.

Of course she has no clue on a conscious level what it is she is actually doing, but I know perfectly well. You can't use words to reason with a chick on something like this. And I probably should have just let her stay over and dealt with resistance as it becomes a problem, but I had been getting this bad feeling for awhile and I couldn't help it....I had to lay it out right then and there.

So our convo (IM) basically ended with me telling her that she needs to get things in order and then come talk to me. She got pissed and signed off.

I can understand that she doesn't want to feel like a cheap ho, but playing along with something like this for me just isn't an option. It was either confront it head on right now, or it was going to come up next weekend or whenever. I haven't had sex in awhile, but I'm not about to go into a situation like this with a chick holding sex over my head. It goes against what I stand for as a man.

The problem is, now I look like an a$$hole. About the only thing I can do is sit back and wait. And the worst part about it is that as of tonite, it has officially turned into a "negotiation". I don't see how I can put this back on track. The only thing that could turn this around is if she escalates it physically. To tell you the truth, I'm so turned off right now over the whole thought of how this is playing out I don't even know if she can patch this back up.

Anyway, it sucks cause I like her as a person and at minimum I hate to burn any bridges. I wish it didn't have to come down to this, but unfortunately (right or wrong) every bell and whistle is blaring full blast, and I just can't bring myself to play that game, even on the off chance that her only motivation behind this is so she feels "legit"

I dunno. What do you think?

I think you did the right thing. I KNOW you did the right thing.

 

[drmeathead]

BTW, this is actually bullsh!t:

she may not be ****ing you, she may not be ****ing me, but she is ****ing somebody.​

no it is simple fact unless the woman is a virgin. maybe a woman isnt actually ****ing the guy but there is a guy that she wants to ****...to be her one and only... to have him hold and caress her whatever. using the word **** makes the maxim that much more memorable, which is the idea. the point of the quote isnt to point out that all women are always having sex 24/7. the point is that guys need to realize that while she may not be interested in this guy or that guy, there is someone, somewhere that she is interested in. whether the interest is as a future husband or simply a good romp in the hay, it is biological, there is someone.