BPD's can control their behavior…they choose not to

[MrAddiction]

Yet I can't help but contemplate these things, coz I know when I get back to normal I will just do the same things again, pursue this pursue that, pursue more women and then what? Where will it lead me and what will it bring me? Sometimes I think everything you want out of life is just a fvcking carrot like you're holding in front of a horse to make him walk. Big goals this, big dreams that, once you achieve them you feel fulfilled for a short moment and then you think NOW WHAT?

Man I can feel yer. You are Talking from the deepth of my Soul. All I want is a fullfilling relationship. But after all I know and all I experience and have seen it seems like wanting something that does not exist. That is a Hard Truth to swalllow and brings me down at the moment. Maybe i I for some kinda ptsd from my Cluster B relationship but a the Moment I can not find the feeling of lasting fullfilment Inside myself.

 

[exhausted]

Yes, it's the cluster b's main operating template, but the personal damage done to the man will vary.

She told me early on her ex once told her she would never have anyone. I thought that was quite mean to say to someone, but schit was he spot on i say the same thing, i even told her she will never have anyone being like this.
She plays unfair. She cant make 200 mistakes and should be foegiven and all is ok but The time u make one mistake u are punished and will SUFFER

 

[exhausted]

Man I can feel yer. You are Talking from the deepth of my Soul. All I want is a fullfilling relationship. But after all I know and all I experience and have seen it seems like wanting something that does not exist. That is a Hard Truth to swalllow and brings me down at the moment. Maybe i I for some kinda ptsd from my Cluster B relationship but a the Moment I can not find the feeling of lasting fullfilment Inside myself.

I am with you both.

Im 39, raised a kid on my own, went to college, have a good career and am responsible and feel i have a lot to offer yet i can NOT for the life of me find a worthwhile girl.

Humans are made to go thro life with a companion. It is rough not to be able to fulfill that.

 

[noBSgames]

She told me early on her ex once told her she would never have anyone. I thought that was quite mean to say to someone, but schit was he spot on i say the same thing, i even told her she will never have anyone being like this.
She plays unfair. She cant make 200 mistakes and should be foegiven and all is ok but The time u make one mistake u are punished and will SUFFER

the story of mine was the Ex she was with she did not know he was married he gave her a ring and he told her or she later found out he was married and he ended it.. he left her out in the middle of nowere as she says and was just dumped.. I have my doubts about the EX story.. since she told me another ex near the same... and all of them that said they proposed to her she ended up turning them all down...

 

[Billtx49]

the story of mine was the Ex she was with she did not know he was married he gave her a ring and he told her or she later found out he was married and he ended it.. he left her out in the middle of nowere as she says and was just dumped.. I have my doubts about the EX story.. since she told me another ex near the same... and all of them that said they proposed to her she ended up turning them all down...

Just part of her bullsh|t starring her in the victim role, unless you know the whole story or can cofirm facts.
On the other hand, mine jokingly told me about one of her Ex's that complained about being 'manhandled'. I found the truth later when she got physical out of nowhere with me also…

 

[exhausted]

Just part of her bullsh|t starring her in the victim role, unless you know the whole story or can cofirm facts.
On the other hand, mine jokingly told me about one of her Ex's that complained about being 'manhandled'. I found the truth later when she got physical out of nowhere with me also…

They are ALWAYS the victim. Always.

Even when they do something wrong they are the victim.

I caught mine in a lie and her response was

"Sorry i lied trying to ahow you i can have fun without You "

What in the flying fucchk???!!!!!

She lied about going on a trip she never planned on going to and when time to go came said she cancelled. Then was ****ty to me for the whole thing. Good LORD what is wrong w these girls??

 

[Billtx49]

They are ALWAYS the victim. Always.
Even when they do something wrong they are the victim. Good LORD what is wrong w these girls??

They don't have the normal female traits about the truth. As well as evading, omitting , rewording, and obfuscating, they will flat out lie to your face and be personally ok with it.
It's called a personality disorder because that's all they know. It's literally who they are as a person, and how they deal with others. It's ingrained within them and they will Never change without extensive highly specialized therapy.

 

[exhausted]

They don't have the normal female traits about the truth. As well as evading, omitting , rewording, and obfuscating, they will flat out lie to your face and be personally ok with it.
It's called a personality disorder because that's all they know. It's literally who they are as a person, and how they deal with others. It's ingrained within them and they will Never change without extensive highly specialized therapy.

When she got mad at me for questioning something suspicious she said she does nothing to be accused of, i said ugh YOU Lied to me about a fake vacation just to play games. So if YOU lie to me that fuchs w my head therefore i dont know what to believe.
No aknowledging it was wrong and how lying messes with my head, like instead of feeling shamed and being wrong she just bailed.
No responsibility. None for her actions.
What a disturbingly crazy beech.

And i loved this girl and her kid.

Yet she thinks I am the problem.

All her gaslighting and lying and breaking boundaries, she's jealous and insecure and accused me daily and i just blew it off yet i question ONE thing and i get raged on and ignored abd blocked then broken off with 4days later. Then she comes back one day later and hoovers me for 4 days in which i went straight furious fight mode.
Furious and mean for 4 days to her and she has left me alone.
.thats how to get rid of an npd u turn the tables and become furious and mean and they run away forver yet expect YOU to let them do that to u for a lifetime. They are cowards they run.

I have gone from happy go lucky to furiously hating these worthless garbage schit cvnts.

Hate them.

 

[051AV]

They are ALWAYS the victim. Always.

Even when they do something wrong they are the victim.

I caught mine in a lie and her response was

"Sorry i lied trying to ahow you i can have fun without You "

What in the flying fucchk???!!!!!

She lied about going on a trip she never planned on going to and when time to go came said she cancelled. Then was ****ty to me for the whole thing. Good LORD what is wrong w these girls??

BPDs lie through their teeth, its fun catching them lying, with my ex I liked looking her directly in the eyes, you know she was prairie doggin it with nervousness LOL. They are always the victim they can do no wrong in their minds not sure why they think that. As I've said when your dealing with a BPD woman it is like your dealing with a child.

 

[exhausted]

BPDs lie through their teeth, its fun catching them lying, with my ex I liked looking her directly in the eyes, you know she was prairie doggin it with nervousness LOL. They are always the victim they can do no wrong in their minds not sure why they think that. As I've said when your dealing with a BPD woman it is like your dealing with a child.

An absolute child it's insane.

My ex couldn't even have a conversation if it was stressful or solve a small argument wirh literally running out the door and going home.

Like a literal child. Did this for 3 years.

The last time she did it 2 weeks b4 we were finally done we were talking about livong tog and she got all dramatic about having to help out. She wanted to pay about 150 a month and help with food leaving me to pay about 1000 a month. Coming to this decision she just acted like an enemy mean and mad and upset. I told her relax this is what adults do, talk and figure things out together and i was saying this exact quote she literally just walked out the door b4 i finished the sentence !!!! WTF

who acts like this!!???

Then she called. To talk about it!

I said just forget it move on without me i want a woman not a child running out the door. What a ****ng child

 

[noBSgames]

They don't have the normal female traits about the truth. As well as evading, omitting , rewording, and obfuscating, they will flat out lie to your face and be personally ok with it.
It's called a personality disorder because that's all they know. It's literally who they are as a person, and how they deal with others. It's ingrained within them and they will Never change without extensive highly specialized therapy.

Don't you also mean expensive therapy as well?

 

[noBSgames]

When she got mad at me for questioning something suspicious she said she does nothing to be accused of, i said ugh YOU Lied to me about a fake vacation just to play games. So if YOU lie to me that fuchs w my head therefore i dont know what to believe.
No aknowledging it was wrong and how lying messes with my head, like instead of feeling shamed and being wrong she just bailed.
No responsibility. None for her actions.
What a disturbingly crazy beech.

And i loved this girl and her kid.

Yet she thinks I am the problem.

All her gaslighting and lying and breaking boundaries, she's jealous and insecure and accused me daily and i just blew it off yet i question ONE thing and i get raged on and ignored abd blocked then broken off with 4days later. Then she comes back one day later and hoovers me for 4 days in which i went straight furious fight mode.
Furious and mean for 4 days to her and she has left me alone.
.thats how to get rid of an npd u turn the tables and become furious and mean and they run away forver yet expect YOU to let them do that to u for a lifetime. They are cowards they run.

I have gone from happy go lucky to furiously hating these worthless garbage schit cvnts.

Hate them.

Sounds 100% how mine behaves I like how she always demanded a response from me when she was in her rage mode

 

[exhausted]

Sounds 100% how mine behaves I like how she always demanded a response from me when she was in her rage mode

You were allowed to speak? When mine or aged I couldn't get a word in nor did I even try as she went ballistic Furious yelling and screaming ice just acted calmly to make her feel more stupid. She yelled at me 3 times in one week so I refuse to see her for an entire month. So she punished me for that and that the mass of the ship relationship

 

[Julian]

these chicks are CRAZY lol. I literally had to laugh at the absurdity of the chit my ex would flip out about. then she'd get even more pissed off because I would laugh. I remember we were watching some dumbazz movie and there was a sex scene and she was trying to cover my eyes, like LEGIT fighting to block my view because there was tits on screen. She was THAT jealous...I was like wow this sh1t just got to the next level of fked up reality lol.

 

[btownbuck2012]

The length of this thread speaks volumes to the damage inflicted by people with cluster b disorders. Thank God there is a place like this where we can all vent. SS saved my life getting through my ordeal.

 

[StonesDK]

Forums have helped me a lot to get some clarity and becoming thankful I got out. It's amazing how much you can see, when you get distance from it. Specially the covert manipulation I can see play out in her new relationship. She just manipulated her latest victim into moving in with him after two months. The sneaky way she did this was to antagonize her ex husband, which is a malignant narcissist, into threatening her. This way she had an excuse to move in with the replacement for "safety" even though she perfectly knows her ex is all bark and no bite. She did the same triangulation with me. Ahh how history repeats itself. Perfect excuse to fall into the victim role again

Meanwhile, I can tell it upsets her, I have no problem entering her replacements house and talking to the guy when picking my son up.

This **** is hilarious to watch

 

[btownbuck2012]

It's amazing how much you can see, when you get distance from it.

Absolutely. You have to get distance from them and spend time reflecting to really understand what you went through. I'm guilty of checking her facebook page from time to time and the act this woman puts on is really something else. That's the worst part about going through this. You know they're f*cked up and that they majorly f*cked you up, but trying to explain it to others or get others to understand the intensity, her insidious nature and calculated cruelty towards you is like trying to get a room full of people to see the ghost in the corner of the room.

 

[StonesDK]

Absolutely. You have to get distance from them and spend time reflecting to really understand what you went through. I'm guilty of checking her facebook page from time to time and the act this woman puts on is really something else. That's the worst part about going through this. You know they're f*cked up and that they majorly f*cked you up, but trying to explain it to others or get others to understanding the intensity of her cruelty towards you is like trying to get a room full of people to see the ghost in the corner of the room.

It's because the things we experienced is so unbelievable, stuff like that simply doesn't happen or exist in their world. I've given up trying to explain things to people. The only place where one might get some understanding is online, with people that has had similar experiences.

Don't beat yourself up about looking at her Facebook. We are all guilty of it. What's important to note is, it's all to put on a show. They need friends and family to see her in a certain light. It's based on shame/low self esteem and fear with a touch of narcissism. The perfect life, is a mask for the world. If it hurts you in the process then her self esteem gets a much needed boost. This is specially true in my case because I left her.

 

[btownbuck2012]

It's because the things we experienced is so unbelievable, stuff like that simply doesn't happen or exist in their world. I've given up trying to explain things to people. The only place where one might get some understanding is online, with people that has had similar experiences.

Don't beat yourself up about looking at her Facebook. We are all guilty of it. What's important to note is, it's all to put on a show. They need friends and family to see her in a certain light. It's based on shame/low self esteem and fear with a touch of narcissism. The perfect life, is a mask for the world. If it hurts you in the process then her self esteem gets a much needed boost. This is specially true in my case because I left her.

Yeah, the healing that is acquired through reading forums like SS, watching videos and reading a few books has saved my life. I've even had a few "aha" moments that have gotten me damn near close to tears. That relief you get from finally getting some validation that your gut feeling about this woman was right is a wonderful feeling, but, as you mentioned, so few of the people in our lives can relate.

 

[exhausted]

Distance gives perspective. I was abused enough not even to see she would stonewall me anytime I had an issue. I would get the "I'm not doing this " as if I'm a piece of chit with bringing up an issue where she is being disrespect. Believe me I'm not a complainer bur every few months she would do something iffy or if I had a problem with it I would get shut down. Her attitude would change and she acted like I was some pos pain in the ass dummy so she wouldn't have to deal with her mistakes.
I always asked why am I in TROUBLEfor something you have done????

Tho this bitftch had a complaint all day along everyday w no problem.