BPD's can control their behavior…they choose not to

[exhausted]

Sounds like she was low functioning. That relationship was doomed the moment you entered it.
I read these articles and they really resonated with me
http://shrink4men.com/2012/03/08/cr...-why-she-wont-be-different-with-the-next-guy/
https://shrink4men.wordpress.com/2009/01/23/when-love-hurts-the-emotionally-abused-man/

I could tick off 7 of the 10 signs of emotional abuse. Something as a man I was unaware would be considered abuse.

Yep i told her this is absolutely verbal and emotional abuse.

 

[StonesDK]

Yep i told her this is absolutely verbal and emotional abuse.

I wish mine was low functioning. She's between mild and medium perfectly able to keep the facade long enough to keep you in the relationship. Things happen gradually over the course of a long period. it sounds stupid but I envy you guys with the volatile ones. It would have been so much easier to cut that cord.

 

[Billtx49]

I wish mine was low functioning. She's between mild and medium perfectly able to keep the facade long enough to keep you in the relationship. Things happen gradually over the course of a long period. it sounds stupid but I envy you guys with the volatile ones. It would have been so much easier to cut that cord.

Yes, the higher functioning ones are much harder to spot early on, and put you in a mental state where you think they are a normal woman. That is until the sh|t hits the fan enough times after you're in too deep…
Some are verbal, some get physical on you, some are both, but they're all emotional abuse.

 

[exhausted]

I wish mine was low functioning. She's between mild and medium perfectly able to keep the facade long enough to keep you in the relationship. Things happen gradually over the course of a long period. it sounds stupid but I envy you guys with the volatile ones. It would have been so much easier to cut that cord.

I'm w ya she held it off for about 18 months despite a few odd episodes.

The last 8 months were hell.
Flip outs raging and screaming at me breaking things off every few weeks over the littlest things.

Things would be fine, I'd miss her call while working call her back within a few mins and instead of a nice "hi" i would get the ****tiest " ugh yeah" just mean, just crappy and degrading, made me feel like **** all the time for nothing.

Every thing was a big deal and dramatic in her life, yet id i did one little thing i would get crucified and called nothing but a problem and always causing problems. Unreal.

I have dated prob 20 girls str and ltr combined and this is the ONLY girl i have ever met who when she did something wrong to me or the relationship would be mad and mistreat me for brining it up.

I would literally get punished instead of a sorry or acknowledgement.

This was unreal.

Bipolar. One half normal and nice the other SATAN. so mean and cruel. Unreal the way she would talk to me and things she would say.

Just unreal

 

[exhausted]

Yes, the higher functioning ones are much harder to spot early on, and put you in a mental state where you think they are a normal woman. That is until the sh|t hits the fan enough times after you're in too deep…
Some are verbal, some get physical on you, some are both, but they're all emotional abuse.

That's what i ran into.

Everyone says why didnt u leave and it makes sense. If anyone would talk to me like that id turn and walk away forever but these npd wait till u are deep in love w them and u have a bond for a future.

Its torture and sufferring.

 

[Billtx49]

but these npd wait till u are deep in love w them and u have a bond for a future.

Yes, it's the cluster b's main operating template, but the personal damage done to the man will vary.

 

[MrAddiction]

I bet you when she saw you were serious she instantly switched to nice mode right

Definierten right! It was the sweetest phase since she moved in. Did mit change my mind regarding her having to move. I knew another try would probably end up terrible but I gave it a try with seperated appartments, because her being Sweet again and the Little doubt in the back of my Head that you described in another posting above.
....
It ended terrible. And eventhough I was expacting this outcome it did not make things easier for me emotional. But due to the knowledge I could Stick to my decisions. I will not Imagine how Bad things may go down if one is absolutely unknowing what might be wrong with their girls.

She was absolutely devastated when she realized that the I am not going to come back After this second try and she is not able to lure ne back in.

 

[MrAddiction]

Yet I can't help but contemplate these things, coz I know when I get back to normal I will just do the same things again, pursue this pursue that, pursue more women and then what? Where will it lead me and what will it bring me? Sometimes I think everything you want out of life is just a fvcking carrot like you're holding in front of a horse to make him walk. Big goals this, big dreams that, once you achieve them you feel fulfilled for a short moment and then you think NOW WHAT?

Man I can feel yer. You are Talking from the deepth of my Soul. All I want is a fullfilling relationship. But after all I know and all I experience and have seen it seems like wanting something that does not exist. That is a Hard Truth to swalllow and brings me down at the moment. Maybe i I for some kinda ptsd from my Cluster B relationship but a the Moment I can not find the feeling of lasting fullfilment Inside myself.

 

[exhausted]

Yes, it's the cluster b's main operating template, but the personal damage done to the man will vary.

She told me early on her ex once told her she would never have anyone. I thought that was quite mean to say to someone, but schit was he spot on i say the same thing, i even told her she will never have anyone being like this.
She plays unfair. She cant make 200 mistakes and should be foegiven and all is ok but The time u make one mistake u are punished and will SUFFER

 

[exhausted]

Man I can feel yer. You are Talking from the deepth of my Soul. All I want is a fullfilling relationship. But after all I know and all I experience and have seen it seems like wanting something that does not exist. That is a Hard Truth to swalllow and brings me down at the moment. Maybe i I for some kinda ptsd from my Cluster B relationship but a the Moment I can not find the feeling of lasting fullfilment Inside myself.

I am with you both.

Im 39, raised a kid on my own, went to college, have a good career and am responsible and feel i have a lot to offer yet i can NOT for the life of me find a worthwhile girl.

Humans are made to go thro life with a companion. It is rough not to be able to fulfill that.

 

[noBSgames]

She told me early on her ex once told her she would never have anyone. I thought that was quite mean to say to someone, but schit was he spot on i say the same thing, i even told her she will never have anyone being like this.
She plays unfair. She cant make 200 mistakes and should be foegiven and all is ok but The time u make one mistake u are punished and will SUFFER

the story of mine was the Ex she was with she did not know he was married he gave her a ring and he told her or she later found out he was married and he ended it.. he left her out in the middle of nowere as she says and was just dumped.. I have my doubts about the EX story.. since she told me another ex near the same... and all of them that said they proposed to her she ended up turning them all down...

 

[Billtx49]

the story of mine was the Ex she was with she did not know he was married he gave her a ring and he told her or she later found out he was married and he ended it.. he left her out in the middle of nowere as she says and was just dumped.. I have my doubts about the EX story.. since she told me another ex near the same... and all of them that said they proposed to her she ended up turning them all down...

Just part of her bullsh|t starring her in the victim role, unless you know the whole story or can cofirm facts.
On the other hand, mine jokingly told me about one of her Ex's that complained about being 'manhandled'. I found the truth later when she got physical out of nowhere with me also…

 

[exhausted]

Just part of her bullsh|t starring her in the victim role, unless you know the whole story or can cofirm facts.
On the other hand, mine jokingly told me about one of her Ex's that complained about being 'manhandled'. I found the truth later when she got physical out of nowhere with me also…

They are ALWAYS the victim. Always.

Even when they do something wrong they are the victim.

I caught mine in a lie and her response was

"Sorry i lied trying to ahow you i can have fun without You "

What in the flying fucchk???!!!!!

She lied about going on a trip she never planned on going to and when time to go came said she cancelled. Then was ****ty to me for the whole thing. Good LORD what is wrong w these girls??

 

[Billtx49]

They are ALWAYS the victim. Always.
Even when they do something wrong they are the victim. Good LORD what is wrong w these girls??

They don't have the normal female traits about the truth. As well as evading, omitting , rewording, and obfuscating, they will flat out lie to your face and be personally ok with it.
It's called a personality disorder because that's all they know. It's literally who they are as a person, and how they deal with others. It's ingrained within them and they will Never change without extensive highly specialized therapy.

 

[exhausted]

They don't have the normal female traits about the truth. As well as evading, omitting , rewording, and obfuscating, they will flat out lie to your face and be personally ok with it.
It's called a personality disorder because that's all they know. It's literally who they are as a person, and how they deal with others. It's ingrained within them and they will Never change without extensive highly specialized therapy.

When she got mad at me for questioning something suspicious she said she does nothing to be accused of, i said ugh YOU Lied to me about a fake vacation just to play games. So if YOU lie to me that fuchs w my head therefore i dont know what to believe.
No aknowledging it was wrong and how lying messes with my head, like instead of feeling shamed and being wrong she just bailed.
No responsibility. None for her actions.
What a disturbingly crazy beech.

And i loved this girl and her kid.

Yet she thinks I am the problem.

All her gaslighting and lying and breaking boundaries, she's jealous and insecure and accused me daily and i just blew it off yet i question ONE thing and i get raged on and ignored abd blocked then broken off with 4days later. Then she comes back one day later and hoovers me for 4 days in which i went straight furious fight mode.
Furious and mean for 4 days to her and she has left me alone.
.thats how to get rid of an npd u turn the tables and become furious and mean and they run away forver yet expect YOU to let them do that to u for a lifetime. They are cowards they run.

I have gone from happy go lucky to furiously hating these worthless garbage schit cvnts.

Hate them.

 

[051AV]

They are ALWAYS the victim. Always.

Even when they do something wrong they are the victim.

I caught mine in a lie and her response was

"Sorry i lied trying to ahow you i can have fun without You "

What in the flying fucchk???!!!!!

She lied about going on a trip she never planned on going to and when time to go came said she cancelled. Then was ****ty to me for the whole thing. Good LORD what is wrong w these girls??

BPDs lie through their teeth, its fun catching them lying, with my ex I liked looking her directly in the eyes, you know she was prairie doggin it with nervousness LOL. They are always the victim they can do no wrong in their minds not sure why they think that. As I've said when your dealing with a BPD woman it is like your dealing with a child.

 

[exhausted]

BPDs lie through their teeth, its fun catching them lying, with my ex I liked looking her directly in the eyes, you know she was prairie doggin it with nervousness LOL. They are always the victim they can do no wrong in their minds not sure why they think that. As I've said when your dealing with a BPD woman it is like your dealing with a child.

An absolute child it's insane.

My ex couldn't even have a conversation if it was stressful or solve a small argument wirh literally running out the door and going home.

Like a literal child. Did this for 3 years.

The last time she did it 2 weeks b4 we were finally done we were talking about livong tog and she got all dramatic about having to help out. She wanted to pay about 150 a month and help with food leaving me to pay about 1000 a month. Coming to this decision she just acted like an enemy mean and mad and upset. I told her relax this is what adults do, talk and figure things out together and i was saying this exact quote she literally just walked out the door b4 i finished the sentence !!!! WTF

who acts like this!!???

Then she called. To talk about it!

I said just forget it move on without me i want a woman not a child running out the door. What a ****ng child

 

[noBSgames]

They don't have the normal female traits about the truth. As well as evading, omitting , rewording, and obfuscating, they will flat out lie to your face and be personally ok with it.
It's called a personality disorder because that's all they know. It's literally who they are as a person, and how they deal with others. It's ingrained within them and they will Never change without extensive highly specialized therapy.

Don't you also mean expensive therapy as well?

 

[noBSgames]

When she got mad at me for questioning something suspicious she said she does nothing to be accused of, i said ugh YOU Lied to me about a fake vacation just to play games. So if YOU lie to me that fuchs w my head therefore i dont know what to believe.
No aknowledging it was wrong and how lying messes with my head, like instead of feeling shamed and being wrong she just bailed.
No responsibility. None for her actions.
What a disturbingly crazy beech.

And i loved this girl and her kid.

Yet she thinks I am the problem.

All her gaslighting and lying and breaking boundaries, she's jealous and insecure and accused me daily and i just blew it off yet i question ONE thing and i get raged on and ignored abd blocked then broken off with 4days later. Then she comes back one day later and hoovers me for 4 days in which i went straight furious fight mode.
Furious and mean for 4 days to her and she has left me alone.
.thats how to get rid of an npd u turn the tables and become furious and mean and they run away forver yet expect YOU to let them do that to u for a lifetime. They are cowards they run.

I have gone from happy go lucky to furiously hating these worthless garbage schit cvnts.

Hate them.

Sounds 100% how mine behaves I like how she always demanded a response from me when she was in her rage mode

 

[exhausted]

Sounds 100% how mine behaves I like how she always demanded a response from me when she was in her rage mode

You were allowed to speak? When mine or aged I couldn't get a word in nor did I even try as she went ballistic Furious yelling and screaming ice just acted calmly to make her feel more stupid. She yelled at me 3 times in one week so I refuse to see her for an entire month. So she punished me for that and that the mass of the ship relationship