Boot Camp for The Mature Man

[Ricky]

Well i had a great day yesterday. I didn't close the girl because I know her sister and getting her number should be easy. That still doesn't mean I shouldn't have done it. Her sister was trying to set me up with her for a while. Yesterday I got to go out with her with my friend for the first time. It wasn't really a setup but it went well. I just didn't close. Maybe I should have. I am definitely interested in going out with this girl but she lives the better part of an hour away.

Today I did something I really shouldn't have. I met an internet girl. I told myself there is no way in hell she could be as bad as one internet girl I went out with in California. I went out with two girls on the internet out there one summer. One was really cute and the other was horrible.

Well I went out with another girl today and it was actually a blind setup. She claimed she didn't have a picture. She saw mine and said she thought I was very cute.

I met her, and she wasn't that good at all. But that didn't stop me. I ended up f-closing her anyways. Then I felt horrible afterwards and had to explain how I had just broken up with my gf a few weeks back (which is true) and i'm heartbroken. I totally don't want to deal with this girl other than to use her as a pivot. I was so disgusted with myself I could shoot myself. The sad part I think she understood.

Tomorrow I did have a date lined up with a waittress to go out. We were going to go out with some friends so it was real laid back. She flaked on me via e-mail but counteroffered. We will see if that works out.

I guess I'm getting the ball rolling on a few of these girls though. Can't stop thinking about the girl yesterday. She was really nice.

 

[Mantra]

Week 1 Day2

Ok...dj I'll give you some details. I'd like to see some from the others here too, as it's only you dj who's said anything about yourself yet.

Ok, I'm 36 years old, reasonable looking (about a 7 :=)) and have been single for most of my adult life. I have had a few short relationships, including one serious but intensely firey 1.5 year one. I was brought up in Britain to one swedish and one british parent, and moved here to Stockholm 3 years ago, in the middle of a 3 year womanvacuum.

After downloading D. DeAngelos book and finding this place I got moving again and since then I've had short flings and one night stands with four women. I've been through some periods of daredevil approaches and stuff, but always seem to have been stopping myself from really going after the women I really desire - the intelligent, stunningly beautiful ones. I am extremely picky.

My aims with doing this boot camp are, although I'm dating two women at the moment (not so sure about them), to become fearless in the approach. If I see a woman I desire I want to be confident that I can go up to her and be happy with myself. I am an above average intelligence chappy, but am sometimes inhibited by the fact that swedish isn't my first language. so I'm sometimes not quite as rap in my convo as I'd like.

It is, however, purely a confidence thing - when I'm on a roll I feel unstoppable, but oftentimes I just wonder about what I should say and back out before making da move!

So, a concerted course of action is what is required, and it'll severely challenge me to get out of my comfort zone.

Ok... for today - went to the gym in the arvo, and got some good EC going with a couple of girls. Several look for a couple of seconds directly into my eyes and then look away - maybe I'm coming across as slightly severe! Went out in the street afterwards and fired off nine 'Hi's'. Figures are looking like this:

Friendly "Hi" back - 4

Ignored me - 2 (including one fine latino babe who I recognised from my gym and I thought had been checking me out a little in the past - damn!!!!)

Vague reply - 2

Smile but no reply - 2

Two of them were bums who were off their trolleys but, hey, the rest were women.

I had a nice new blazer on with jeans and smart boots, and I'm telling you, decidedly more women check you out as you're walking down the street if you're looking a bit classy..... bloody status seekers *LOL* - worth noting though!!!!!

Later!

 

[Mantra]

Boot Camp week 1 day 3

Ok chaps!! What's going on with the rest of you??

I've done my 50 hellos. Took me a while to get going as I walked down the street late afternoon. But soon got going again.

OK - 15 greetings (taking me all the way to 51 - ouch!) - here's the day's breakdown:

Friendly "Hi" - 3
Ignore completely - 8 (bit high today)
Vague reply - 3
Smile no reply - 1

Got caught up in thoughts of the ridiculousness of the whole thing halfway through. Is it achieving anything walking down the street and greeting strangers in a big city? Still, why not, it's a means to an end.

Realised that I kept becoming self-conscious whenever there was a lot of people around me walking in the same direction, as if they would think I was some kind of a clown. I realise that this has to do with issues of wanting approval, something I'm working on anyway.

Also, I choked several times when I saw beautiful women that I would have liked to go up and start a convo with. Had a funny chat with the checkout-girl in a wine-glass shop. Still, I've done well in that I've done all of week 1 in three days. Am ready to start week 2 tomorrow. Anyone else ready for that jump yet?

 

[dj2l8]

Nice job Mantra

Wow Mantra. Youre a machine! I don't know how you found the time to do 50 hellos in 3 days. But however you did it, hats off to you. And thanks for the personal info...nice to know who we're dealing with here. Now what's D'Angelo's book for us RAFC's?

Now Mantra, sure sounds like you got some sort of game, ****. BTW, going from a 3 year vacuum to 4 one night stands is quite an achievement in this place...this is the land of completely cold approaches. So keep it up. man, you seem to do much better with your street hellos than I do. I usually get nothing...I think I'm waiting too long and then ambushing them.

Ricky, nice report dude. But dammit man, close close close. No wasted opportunities for any of us. If I had any damn ops this week, I'd expect you all to yell at me too. There's no reason never to close unless your not interested! Sister or no sister.

So my report is lame, lame, lame. You should all pelt me with Swedish meatballs. 2 days at the office until 2AM and midnight left me virtually zero ops for hellos. I even ate lunch at the office I've been so busy. Today I managed a meager 2, with no response...the best was an old woman I said hello to at the bus stop and she actually turned around and moved to the other side. I had to laugh. Anyways I've got 5 to do tomorrow...I don't care if I have to skip work, but dammit I'm getting to week 2.

Hey Mantra, are you getting EC on the streets before your doing the hellos or are you just ambushing them? I'm really terrible at this. Argh.

Ok DJ's...let's hear some more reports. JoeBlack, where are you?

 

[Ricky]

Yeah I am kicking myself a bit for not closing on the sister. I can get her number from her sister, but that puts me in a tiny bit more of a weak position, so not sure. What the hell though I'll do it. I'll let you know how it goes.

One girl I was supposed to go out with on Tuesday flaked due to another obligation but appears to be counteroffering some other times. I'll keep her on hold.

I love it when a girl smiles at you. This happened to me a couple of times over the last week. It's nice. I do need to smile more.

Tomorrow I might go out with a girl and her friend who she was trying to set me up with. We will see how that goes. I kind of told her another day might be better but I don't want to miss an opportunity.

 

[Mantra]

Hey Zentraveller. I've been trying to PM you to reply to your message, but your mailbox is full, full, full (copyright dj2l8).

In reply to your question dj2l8, I'm getting previous eye-contact with about 15 - 20% of them. Often though, if you greet them when they're still a couple of metres from you (assuming that they're walking in the opposite direction) it gives them time to respond or not!

Many seem to turn their head and look after you've greeted and passed them, and if you do the same with a warm smile, you will get several late "hi's" back in this way.

Hey Ricky... are you doing BC. If so, would b good to see some reports of how your week 1 has gone. I'm firmly of the belief that you can go out and get your 50 greetings in one 2 hour session, if you greet most of the women walking in the opposite direction. You'll get a good few eye-contact possibilities along the way too. Of coure, you may WANT to spread it out over a few days for the benefit of reprogramming.

David DeAngelo is about equally admired and maligned at this place. I find his stuff to be great - he goes into detail about what women are looking for by way of genetics, anthropology and programming, and then expands on the mindsets and attitudes needed to spark attraction. A lot of it as based on ****y/funny aand alpha/position of strength and confidence(something also discussed here a lot) as opposed to the nice-guy subservient approach which he disses totally. He has an e-book available called Double Your Dating, and an Advanced Series of CDs/DVDs which are expensive but worthwhile. Best of all though is his interview series where he interviews a string of dating gurus for their attitudes and tips. PM me if you want to know more.

Keep going chaps, really looking forward to week 2.

 

[Ricky]

Guys I'm informally doing a bootcamp thing since I've known of bootcamp since 2002.

Anyways I noticed one thing. If you can make eyecontact with a girl walking the opposite direction when she is further away you are much more likely to get eye contact and a smile.

That happened tonight.

Another thing great to do that has been mentioned alot is to flirt with all the cashiers. Be a little ****y and funny with them. They love it!

 

[parallelvis]

9/29/04
Two days ago I downloaded the DJBC from a link on the fastseduction.com site. The BC idea made sense and I decided to do it. Today I looked at the DJ site and went right to the mature discussion board (I'm 33) and saw that a BC started a few days ago. Synchronicity?

I thought I would have to go through this all by myself. My best friend here is an ex-girlfriend and she doesn't want to hear about my efforts to pull wool and my guy friends are too close minded to try something like this.

Here's what happened on my first outing to a local mall. (I went about 2 hours before I learned about this BC for geezers.)

I got 6 eye contacts and only one hello. This was in about an hour of actually being in public. It was from 8-9 pm on a Wednesday night so it wasn't very crowded. After this outing, I learned from a previous post that I will often need to say hello to people who won't engage with EC. I will have to do that or I'll never reach 50.

I did alright on the eye contact with chicks. Two of them actually looked turned on. One looked up and to the side in an arc, not rolling her eyes, but kind of inviting me. One giggled nervously, looked to the side and then looked right back at me and then kind of tossed her hair as she looked down and to the side. This was good for me to see since I'm one of those neutered nice guys who has been in the habit of thinking that chicks don't get turned on.

In noticing my reactions/feelings, realized that I sometimes felt that I looked like a psycho. I was also sensitive to the reaction of other men. I felt like they were challenging me not so much for the EC (I didn't really make any with males)but b/c I was walking around thinking "That's right. I'm the man." I wasn't strutting and I even thought I had a relaxed energy about me, but I was definitely utilizing alpha body language. These perceived challenges made me uncomfortable. I have kind of an anger management problem (that I'm earnestly working on), so I try to avoid confrontation at all cost. Are these challenges in my head? Should I take them as a compliment? Should I blow them off? Any insight/advice would be appreciated.

9/30
I went to a bar to watch the presidential debate, made EC with 5 chicks one of which just kept staring right back at me. This went on for 5 long seconds. She was a waitress and she was at a wait station behind the bar. I had no idea how to respond.

After that I went to sparsely populated club. I got 6 ECs and approached two chicks. I chatted up one of them and even got her to go outside the club. She wanted to stay in this well lit, populated area. She was boring the **** out of me so I suggested we go back to her place. She said she wouldn't leave her friend. I pushed a little and then gave up. I think I'll be swearing off the clubs soon.

 

[parallelvis]

9/29/04
Two days ago I downloaded the DJBC from a link on the fastseduction.com site. The BC idea made sense and I decided to do it. Today I looked at the DJ site and went right to the mature discussion board (I'm 33) and saw that a BC started a few days ago.

I'm glad I don't have to do the BC by myself. My best friend here is an ex-girlfriend and she doesn't want to hear about my efforts to pull wool and my guy friends are too close minded to try something like this.

Here's what happened on my first outing to a local mall. (I went about 2 hours before I learned about this BC for geezers.)

I got 6 eye contacts and only one hello. This was in about an hour of actually being in public. It was from 8-9 pm on a Wednesday night so it wasn't very crowded. After this outing, I learned from a previous post that I will often need to say hello to people who won't engage with EC. I will have to do that or I'll never reach 50.

I did alright on the eye contact with chicks. Two of them actually looked turned on. One looked up and to the side in an arc, not rolling her eyes, but kind of inviting me. One giggled nervously, looked to the side and then looked right back at me and then kind of tossed her hair as she looked down and to the side. This was good for me to see since I'm one of those neutered nice guys who has been in the habit of thinking that chicks don't get turned on.

In noticing my reactions/feelings, realized that I sometimes felt that I looked like a psycho. I was also sensitive to the reaction of other men. I felt like they were challenging me not so much for the EC (I didn't really make any with males)but b/c I was walking around thinking "That's right. I'm the man." I wasn't strutting and I even thought I had a relaxed energy about me, but I was definitely utilizing alpha body language. These perceived challenges made me uncomfortable. I have kind of an anger management problem (that I'm earnestly working on), so I try to avoid confrontation at all cost. Are these challenges in my head? Should I take them as a compliment? Should I blow them off? Any insight/advice would be appreciated.

9/30
I went to a bar to watch the presidential debate, made EC with 5 chicks one of which just kept staring right back at me. This went on for 5 long seconds. She was a waitress and she was at a wait station behind the bar. I had no idea how to respond.

After that I went to sparsely populated club. I got 6 ECs and approached two chicks. I chatted up one of them and even got her to go outside the club. She wanted to stay in this well lit, populated area. She was boring the **** out of me so I suggested we go back to her place. She said she wouldn't leave her friend. I pushed a little and then gave up. I think I'll be swearing off the clubs soon.

 

[Mantra]

Hey Parallel, great to have you on board.
Update from me, I'm on week 2, and have attempted to get a few convos going with people in shop queues etc, but after exchanging a few words, people do seem to clam up a bit over here. Still, plenty of time left.

Went to a party last night and had good fun, first trying to convince a friend of mine that it is NOT a good idea to blurt out your feelings a bout a woman to her before you've got it together for a while if you want any kind of attraction to happen. He does this when he is attracted to a woman, and never gets the woman. I used to do this, and know that it kills the passion in a woman quicker than you can say "Bush has one brain cell". GO FIGURE!!

Had a long and interesting convo with a south african 7, who is going to be in Melbourne, australia at just the same time as me (around christmas) - spooky coincidence. Blended deep/serious convo with her with a fair bit of C+F which she seemed to enjoy. Left with her e-mail address.
We tentatively agreed to meet up in Melbourne, but may get in touch with her here for a get together!

I shal see if I can get a few of my cold convos going over the weekend.

 

[Ricky]

Good to see some new people on here.

Well if you read my other thread, my biggest challenge right now is getting rid of one of the girls. She is definitely a bit of the lonely and needy type. Reversing trends and using AFC tactics on her hasn't seemed to work yet.

I have two or 3 other girls I might go out with. Been awhile since I've had these type of numbers!

Feels good since I just broke up with my gf of 3 years a few weeks ago.

 

[parallelvis]

Thanks for welcoming me to the BC.

My hello count is up to 42. There was a large art fair in my neighborhood which drew about 10,000 people. It was easy pickings. I stopped at 42 b/c I wanted to do some in a different setting.

I got the usual assortment of responses: some said hello, others ignored me, others looked at me and scowled. I live in a historic urban neighborhood that has a relatively high crime rate. I think most of the wealthy suburbanites that came to buy art had their guards up.

At some point I realized something that will probably help me on my journey to becoming a DJ. When I'm trying to mack, I can't get frustrated with other people's responses to me. Some people will respond well and others won't. If some people respond negatively, it might not have anything to do with me. They could be having a bad day, etc. What's important is I keep my intention in mind, and move on. Perhaps, I could take some time to assess the situation and see if I screwed up in some way, but too much self-analysis will paralyze me.

I'll finish up the hellos tonight and get in some more eye-contact.

I plan to start week two tomorrow.

Oh yeah, Ricky, keep us posted on how you let go of the chick that you f-closed. I'm tempted to try to f-close chicks I don't like for "practice" or to boost my self-esteem, but I think it's kinda wrong (for me) and I would feel bad afterwards. Is that your experience?

 

[dj2l8]

Week 2, finally (3 convos, 7 to go)

Whad up boys,

First off, a big welcome to parallelElvis. WIth a handle like that, you better be ready to hit the BC my man. Get those hellos finished!

Mantra, man, I want to see that 50 hellos in 2 hours. I believe it can be done, but you must have truly adopted the no-care attitude. I think that should be a remedial exercise on like week 6. 50 hellos in 2 hours. Good Stuff.

Ricky, if your biggest problem is getting rid of a girl right now, you need to drop the BC! Seriously, give her the Lets Just Be Friends nicely...make it clear to her. Besides, you've probably heard the LJBF thing before, now you get to use it. Let us know how it goes stud.

Ok, my weekend. Productive. On thursday with just minutes to spare I finished my last 2 hellos. Thank god. That night, I was feeling my oats at the gym, so a beauty that I've had some EC and a smile with came ot rest near me. So I tried some convo...it went nowhere. Basically I started with "Hi, How are you today?" Which generally freaks people out here in Stockholm. She responded in Swedish and then in English asking to repeat. So I did, then immediately she adopted the "Oh my god your a rapist look" even though I look far from it and had a smile on my face. I tried to continue with how's your day going blah blah...but there was no recourse. Now this girl has been checking me out. I know this, but this was a dead horse. I didn't push convo after the first few comments. Why? Because I couldn't get by that "You freak, why are you talking to me look." I realized now that I should have kept smiling and talking until that **** disappeared or at least introduced myself. But alas, no luck. We exchanged a few awkward glances the rest of the evening and she split...we'll see if she ever returns ha ha ha ha.

Anyways, determined to make some good convo this weekend, I went out Friday and Saturday. Friday was a complete wash. Was out with 2 different groups of friends...met lots of new ones in the groups, but damn those don't count. They're not strangers if I get introduced to them! We went down to Stureplan and you need to be an M-1 Abrahms to get through defenses there. It sucked.

Saturday: 3 convos (2 + 1 honeys, 1 dude)
After a pass at a bar which was not good for solo (Vimmel), i made a last minute attempt at a place known for ease of talking. Olsons Skor (a shoe store now turned bar/club...yeah that's right, shoe store)

After an hour of warming up, girlie came up next to me. I said hi, she offered a cig and away we went. It was amazing easy. I couldn't believe I was even doing this as this (was) not something I could do before. She was an 7 or an 8...she mentioned her boyfriend after rubbing my face (stubble) then her friend showed up. Convo with both for at least 45 minutes. Good fun...then they realized that both their boyfriends split the bar because they were jealous. (Yes this really happened...what wussies.) Started another convo with a similar girl (who also had a b.f) and then the dude next to me, a cool cat who worked at a big club downtown. He had 2 ladies join him later which I also entertained.

I will say, I go out alone 2-3 nights a week and this was the first good time I've had in a while. Amazing what a little connection will get you. So I've got 7 convos to go. It's gonna be a tall order this week...I'm going to have to get some done at lunch or at the gym I think...there's no way around it.

Ok, that's my report. Thanks for listening and keep all the good tips coming.

Phil

 

[dj2l8]

parallelEvlis, I forgot to comment on this if I may...

> I'm tempted to try to f-close chicks I don't like for "practice" or to boost my self-esteem, but I think it's kinda wrong (for me) and I would feel bad afterwards. Is that your experience?

The bootcamp and the bible are all about boosting your own ego to the point of being self-sufficient. Now an honest f-closing is a good thing for both parties. But if you f-close someone who you've set up to except more than this, well, you may be accumulating some bad karma there.

If you get through the BC, you'll have plenty of esteem and you won't even be tempted. Honestly, I'm getting it regular now and BC is just as hard, so I'm not sure if it really would affect your progress or your esteem.

My 2 kronors...

 

[Mantra]

ok folks.... I've booked a flight to australia for the 25th of november, and I'm going to be backpacking up the east coast for 4 weeks b4 spending christmas with my brother in the south.

I really want to get the BC done by the time I go, so that I'm in full sweing, but I'm having all sorts of trouble getting started on week 2. I'm going to have to go out tommorrow eve to a salsa class which I irregularly frequent and maybe walk around a bit b4 to get some convos notched up.

Damn! week 1 was so easy, but week 2 really shows me where my hang-ups lie.

I kind of project the fact that because I don't like strangers coming up and just chatting to me, everyone else is going to be exactly the same.

By the way Zentraveller, your mailbox is full again, meaning that I haven't been able to PM you.

Roll on, mantra

OMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

 

[Ricky]

Take my advice guys never f close a girl that you wouldn't be seen in public with. It's not so much even being seen with her, but enjoying any level of conversation with her.

Be very careful if a girl seems needy.

Now on to the good news. Had a great time when I was out of town. Met a very nice girl but of course she lives in another city. We made out alot but mutually decided not to go further the first night. I think we both pretty much admitted to each other that we'd like to have sex, we just both decided that doing that on first meeting wouldn't be the greatest idea.

I will be visiting her for business, and presumably pleasure reasons later this year.

 

[parallelvis]

I finished up the hellos and now am officially in Week 2.

Sunday I went to Borders Books downtown. First, I talked with an employee in the cafe. She was about 70 so I wasn't very intimidated. The store opened recently so I asked her questions like: How's business?, Do you guys get a big lunch crowd? Are you expecting sales to increase for the holidays? This lasted about 30 seconds. She was in bad mood and gave me perfunctory responses, hey, at least I got convo #1 under my belt.

While I was in the cafe a 6ish, 20 year old Chinese girl sat down one table over. She sat facing me which I thought might be a good sign. She TOEFL prep book and kept looking at a map. We were right in the middle of the cafe. I wanted to get up and say something, but I was too chicken.

Luckily, I saw her when I got up to leave. I approached her and said hello. She said hello, blushed and giggled. I asked if she was visiting louisville. It was obvious that this situation was painfully awkward for her. I felt like I was talking to a nervous 5 year old. But I pressed on by asking if she needed help finding her way around town. By this time she was so embarassed that I felt bad for her. I said good-bye and left. This lasted about one minute. And that was convo #2.

Tuesday, I was at Kinko's and chatted with this big black dude in a Deion Sanders type red suit. He had all these papers and books spread out on a table. When he came to use the machine next to me, I said, "Looks like you've got quite a project there." He went on to tell me what it was about, etc. This lasted about two minutes. And that was convo #3.

Tuesday night, I talked to a 50 year old woman at the deli counter in the grocery about how important it is to have enough lunchmeat when you brown bag it at work. We also talked about the weather, etc. She seemed geniunely happy that I spoke to her. This lasted about two minutes. And that was convo #4.

I notice that I have a lot of fear about approaching strangers. I am a great rationalizer. My brain generates reason after reason why I shouldn't approach any given person. I might try the NLP technique of imagining myself as a third party observer viewing the seen from above maybe even through a black and white camera. Plus, if I were with a friend who was doing the BC and he hesitated and rationalized, I would be like "just do it" "you da man" "no situation is perfect" "you've got nothing to lose."
I also think I could benefit from doing some further research on approaches, maybe in forums, etc.

Today (Thursday), I talked to a 50 yr old woman in the bedding department at a retail store about slip covers for chairs and couches. I also talked to a woman in a drug store. She was walking slowly, obviously killing time waiting for her prescription. We talked about waiting and how you always decide to buy something and how it's probably best to read magazines. I really don't like small talk. I tried to talk to another guy at kinkos about fax machines and how much it sucks to be working on such a nice day, etc. He was a kind of a grump. Anyway, that makes 7.

All of my convos have been really short. I might go to a few bars tonight and this weekend in hopes of getting into some lengthier convos. I don't like bars, though. I always drink too much because I'm anxious and it screws up my game. I also hate cigarette smoke.

I am still practicing my eye contact and my alpha walk. I'm definitely getting some positive vibes. Also, I'm thankful for this forum, b/c it would be so easy to bail on this project if I were doing it alone. Although, I'm still kind of a rationalizing wuss, I'm definitely making progress.

 

[dj2l8]

Week 2: To be continued

Well folks,

3 15 hour days at work have left 0 time for anything other than sleep since the weekend. The fact is I've only been to the gym once and played hockey on Wednesday and had beers with the guys afterwards. So I'm still at 3, lame yes.

I want to emphasize something here...something I feel needs to be done after reading parallel elvis's last post.

1) I do not count conversations that last < 2 minutes. 1 min convo does not count.

2) Talking to an employee of an establishment doesn't count either. It has to be a stranger whom you do not have to talk to. I can not emphasize this enough. Talking to an employee is much, much easier than talking to a total stranger. I suggest that those of you who are going through this, adopt this philospophy as well. It can only help us when we start sarging on our own. Talking to the counter dude at Kinko's may feel like it's you through week 2, but it's not helping us learn anything.

So Ricky, Mantra, how are you guys doing? How did the salsa class go? That's shooting fish in a BARREL! Excellent. ParallelElvis, good show on Week 2...your ahead of all of us, but I'd say you've got at least 6 to go not 3. Those shorties don't count...read the BC carefully my friend! We gotta keep each other straight.

Ok, so much for this lame update. Not a damn thing to report. I'll be out Saturday night, so let's see if I can do some catch up.

 

[parallelvis]

Last night (Friday), I went out to some bars and racked up five >2 minute convos.

At the first bar I noticed these two chicks really engaged in a conversation. They were sitting at a table with one guy and another girl. I kept telling myself that I shouldn't approach b/c they seemed to be so into what they are talking about. These chicks were an 8-9s. I went to the hotter one and used a neg hit that I saw on a forum: "I love your hair. It makes you look so relaxed." Anyway, we talked for about five minutes. She was only 21 and wasn't very bright. We talked about books and I told her I was really excited b/c I had just bought a brand new translation of Hamlet and it went right by her. One thing I learned from this experience is just b/c people are engaged in intense conversation, it doesn't mean that they don't want to be approached. It turns out they were talking about skin care products. She had to go, but she said that my friend and I should meet up with her at this gay club later for a drag show.

She left and I went back to stand by the bar. Then the other girl came up to order a drink and I just started talking to her. I think I asked her if her friend was on coke b/c she was talking pretty fast. She said that the girl wasn't her friend and then I told her the shakespeare joke and she thought it was funny. I don't remember what I asked her next, but she went on to tell me her entire philosophy of life. I swear these chicks were coked up, but they denied it. This took about 10 minutes.

The other three were all kind of the same. I said hi, made some joke and started talking. To one girl I said, "shouldn't you be getting home to your kids?" She was half insulted and half amused. "I don't have any kids," as if she's not the type or like how can you believe I look like a mom. I responded, "Oh so you hate kids, that's cool. I don't care if your an atheist who hates kids" ( This is Kentucky and everyone is pretty much religious). She replies, "I'm not an atheist". Then I say, "well that's good, what's your name?" We hung out with her and her friend for awhile until her boyfriend appeared.

THen I talked with these girls who were obvious raver types. I started by asking them why they were hanging at a cheesy corporate bar. They weren't into me, but we talked for awhile.

I also approached this chick who was standing outside smoking. Opened with a hello and a where ya from? She was from LA. We made small talk for awhile. She stuck around after she finished her smoke, but I was too much of a wuss to push the issue.

Here's what I learned. Approaching chicks in bars is pretty easy for me. I've been working on this for a few weeks before I started the BC. At bars, I usually have 65% success rate at engaging women in conversation. I can approach, sit at their table, etc., but I don't take it to the next level. I'm looking forward to developing closing skills.

A big problem here is that I don't like going to bars and I don't like staying up late, so I better work on my daytime game.

I went to the Library today and there were two hotties I wanted to approach, but I chickened out. Tonight, I plan to hit a few movie stores, coffee places, and maybe a supermarket. I also might read ahead or look at some forums to develop a strong middle game and endgame in the bar environment and then head out for a couple of hours.

I guess the most important thing is that I'm starting to relax and have fun with this stuff.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by parallelvis
I guess the most important thing is that I'm starting to relax and have fun with this stuff.

With that attitude you are going to do just fine. Something that you may not have noticed/mentioned is that you never mentioned being "rejected." NEVER EVER let that word become commonplace in your vocabulary.

Too many DJs think that just because they didn't close or didn't hit it off with a woman that they were rejected. Successful DJs have the mindset that even though there wasn't a connection, they weren't rejected, it's an AFC defeatist attitude.

In your FR you did mention that you came across a couple of 'ravers' that weren't into you. That is a great way of putting it since that was all there was to it. No rejection, just not a connection.

You hit the nail on the head in saying that you're having fun with this stuff. Success will surely follow, more so than someone that is so connected to the word rejection.

Good job!