I'm linking
@BeExcellent,
@guru1000, and
@TheProspect into this thread. Not to start any arguments, but you guys have strong beliefs that men should enter into the Family Court system through marriage, making children, etc. But here's another example of a man being treated very piss poorly and I don't see any contribution from you guys in this thread whatsoever? You are promoting this stuff heavily, so you should be the MAIN contributors when hell breaks loose? Right? I'll await your reply.......
So Des....
.here's my real, raw, thoughts on this:
I've known this guy for 20 years, and we always have a blast together. Work schedules clash, but we occasionally make time to hang out.
He's been having a difficult time as of late. The other day, he messaged me, seemingly in a state of desperation. He's been living with 3 other roomates in a house. They're all moving out, but my friend has no place to go. He's also been getting his paycheck garnished because his ex-wife is constantly demanding child support. When they split, she moved to a different city with the two kids.
His workplace has cut his hours and he's been living off food from the dollar store. He can only afford to pay $200 per month for rent. He's stressed as fvck and depressed.
I'm at a bit of a loss on how to help him. I have a bunch of outbuildings on my property. I was thinking of trying to get him a job at the corner store and insulate one of the outbuildings for him to live in, at least temporarily. (our winters in Canada can get a bit chilly). I currently don't have any extra room in my house, and won't until I put on the addition next summer.
I'm hanging out with him Thursday. I'm going to see what I can do to help him. I'm really searching for ideas here.
So you have known him for 20 years, I assume you guys are both in the 40's range in terms of age, correct? My question is, at this point in this guy's life (being 40 plus), why is it that the only jobs he qualifies for are
minimum wage jobs? Where are his marketplace skills? What has he been DOING for 20 years in terms of advancing his life, his self-development, etc.?
For 20 years Des.......this grown man has done nothing to increase his skills, complete a degree, learn a trade, or do anything in terms of building a career? The only thing this grown man qualifies for is burger flipping jobs or other minimum wage/low wage crap at Corner Stores?
Also he mentioned he was homeless before, so all of these financial problems have been going on for years and IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FINANCIAL MESS, he makes a kid?? He can barely take care of himself and he makes a kid out of the situation? Why would you have a kid when you can barely take care of yourself?
@sazc is completely right (in this regard).
I'm sorry Des, the guy is a
loser, not a victim.
You should start DROPPING friends who aren't "growing with you". Basically, you and your buddy 20 years ago might have been broke when you were let's say 22 (damn near everybody is broke then).....but you
ought to have a growth plan and he
ought to have one too. By 30, you both should be financially solid. So Des got off his a.ss with a growth plan and apparently, your buddy did not. That's his fault, then he brings a kid into the situation on TOP of the financial mess he's in??
If your friends aren't GROWING with you, but instead are staying in the same "loser" position they have always been in, DROP THEM. Make new friends. Many of these people will stick around as "your buddy" only because they KNOW they can use you as a free stimulus package whenever their loser a.sses need a "bail out" through bills paid or someone to save their a.ss in some other fashion.
This guy is a grown a.ss man, he needs to start acting like it. DROP him.
