Best Friend On The Verge of Being Homeless

[guru1000]

I'm linking @BeExcellent, @guru1000, and @TheProspect into this thread. Not to start any arguments, but you guys have strong beliefs that men should enter into the Family Court system through marriage, making children, etc.

Don't have children if you can't afford to. Simple.

 

[Desdinova]

My question is, at this point in this guy's life (being 40 plus), why is it that the only jobs he qualifies for are minimum wage jobs? Where are his marketplace skills? What has he been DOING for 20 years in terms of advancing his life, his self-development, etc.?

For the last 10 or so, he's just been surviving.

What I'm going to tell you is what I can understand from having to deal with my ex-wife...

I completely understand why men avoid fighting for their kids. I understand why they just hand over whatever she demands. I understand why they try to ignore it to make it go away. Dealing with a demanding ex you're legally tied to for 18 years can be stressful and a big pain in the ass. You hate the bytch, and she continues to throw herself in your face.

Those of you on this website who don't have any kids with an ex won't understand this. You can't just next the bytch. You have to deal with her 5hit until the kid(s) turn 18 years old. It's one thing to say "just deal with it", and it's another thing to actually deal with it. I've done the battle with my ex multiple times. My kid is now with me most of the time, but it took a lot to get things to where they are now.

For 20 years Des.......this grown man has done nothing to increase his skills, complete a degree, learn a trade, or do anything in terms of building a career?

Going to school costs money. Money he needs to feed, clothe, and shelter himself. Money he needs to pay his ex-wife. Although I agree that he should have been working before he got married to build himself a career, he is now stuck in a financial hole that he can't get himself out of.

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FINANCIAL MESS, he makes a kid??

He did not do it in the middle of a financial mess. He did it while he was married and they were both living in an apartment. You know, that legal document that binds two people together so they can live happily ever after.

You should start DROPPING friends who aren't "growing with you".

The topic of "friends" is a very diverse one in itself. I don't drop people who respect me as a person. That is all I get from the guy. He doesn't condemn me for having things better than him, he doesn't mooch off me, and we have things in common. Those are the things that make a good friendship. Finding a friend like (at least in my experience) is a rarity. Having friends who are financially on par with you but treat you like garbage isn't what I would consider a valuable friendship.

Many of these people will stick around as "your buddy" only because they KNOW they can use you as a free stimulus package whenever their loser a.sses need a "bail out" through bills paid or someone to save their a.ss in some other fashion.

I don't bail him out, and he doesn't ask me to. If I'm going to help him, I'm going to be pushing him in the right direction as opposed to paying for his 5hit. I'm pretty sure he knows that. However, I don't want the guy to be sleeping on the street in temperatures that are well below freezing point. Temperatures here get down to the -30s, and that's when it starts becoming a life risk. If it was summer, I wouldn't be as worried.

I don't have a lot of close friends in my life, mainly because I don't have typical interests. I don't like sports, gaming, or drinking beer. I enjoy building and repairing stuff, writing music, and pursuing other "niche" interests. While other men are more interested in their pursuit of adapting to the "ideal male" role, I work at avoiding it and pursuing my true hobbies. Unfortunately, that causes a lack of readily available people I can make good friends with. And you know what I say? So be it. I'd rather be true to my interests than force myself to fit into the beer drinking, football watching mould of the typical male.