Best Friend On The Verge of Being Homeless

[sazc]

"Anyone who disagrees with me trolling . I can't admit to sounding like a pretentious idiot " but really the fact that you even frequent this forum is pretentious because its almost like you think you're some how different then other women, like you think you're special in some way. Also that's kind of narcissistic. You don't relate to men anymore than the sh1t head women posters talk about on here you're not a man and don't you forget it.

Oh you have a job in tech? You were given it over a man who statistically speaking most likely is more qualified than you.

Feel better?

Focus on improving you, instead of trying to feel good about yourself by being an a$$ to me. Bullying people is the sign of a character flaw emanating from within the person who bullies. It's a sure sign that the bully feels otherwise powerless.

Focus on you, making you better, improving you.

Not to mention, you are totally derailing this thread just to bully me. That's disrespectful.

 

[Stephen89]

You know how to help him.

I agree with Julian, let him stay at yours temporary until he gets himself a job and then he can take care of himself. Or you can even lend him some money and let him pay you back afterwards once he gets on his feet.

 

[Desdinova]

You know how to help him.

I agree with Julian, let him stay at yours temporary until he gets himself a job and then he can take care of himself. Or you can even lend him some money and let him pay you back afterwards once he gets on his feet.

The problem is, staying at my place can get him thrown in jail. To stay out of jail, he needs to be homeless in the city.

I almost think building him a collapsable shelter might be his only option.

 

[ubercat]

It's a hell of a mess. If you are happy to pay for him to see a lawyer why not get them to try and get his driving licence back. I can't imagine him being out of work is going to improve the situation. Most men identify with their jobs quite strongly.

Obviously this guy is the author of his own misfortune to a large extent. I'm amazed that he is your best friend and not learnt more about life from you. I'm assuming he couldn't understand or wasn't open to the red pill.

 

[Desdinova]

Obviously this guy is the author of his own misfortune to a large extent. I'm amazed that he is your best friend and not learnt more about life from you. I'm assuming he couldn't understand or wasn't open to the red pill.

I've worked on him over the years, but he wasn't really open to hearing much of it. You can lead a horse to water...

He's been around since before I found this place. He's the only one who didn't have a problem with me when I transitioned from blue to red pill, so I kept him in my life. We still have a lot of fun together.

I have one red pill friend, but I find him somewhat annoying and don't have much in common with him.

 

[ubercat]

Mate you might be projecting there a bit. I was talking about his inability to see reality around the red pill didn't mention his ex once.

 

[backbreaker]

you can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves. nothing is stopping him from getitng a 2nd job.

this is what i would do. i'd let him move in for a month to get a 2nd job. after 30 days he's gotta go

 

[backbreaker]

i mean i've been there. sometimes you makea bad decision and one bad decision just leads to another that you really ain't got a choice to make because of life situations.

When I was starting my first business i went about 8 months where i lived out of hotels. and my dad woudl come to me and say " backbreaker why are you wasting your money on a hotel" lol like i don't ****ing know i would be saving about 50% by getting an apartment but when you ain't got no where to go and no one will let you stay with them to get your money up what ****ing choice to you have.


give the guy a legit shot to turn his life around. I will say this. if you do let him in there.,l donm't put him on a time restriction to move. dont' force him out, dont' do anything that's going ot rile up his anexithy. I already know the type. he's so used to bad **** happening that when something bad happen s he just shuts down.; make his lfie easier by being there for him and letting him get on his feet and you might be suprised


alot of lazy people are just people who were never given a legit shot in life so they stop trying

 

[QuadDeuces]

I would help him and lend him your couch, could be fun too, having your best mate in the house.

 

[oOh Nasty]

As annoying as it is on my own life, I'll be a white knight for my friends in need as long as they're not asking for too much. I'd let him sleep on my couch and buy a few extra packages of ramen for him to eat. Whether he'll learn from his own mistakes and pick up his own life, who knows. A dude who I've known for years - someone I've worked with, drank with, struggled with, is welcome in my home.

I remember how many times others' sincerity has changed my life. If i could pass that along to someone else, I'd do it.

 

[backbreaker]

not only that, by staying wtih you and not just partying with you, maybe some of you rubs off on him. some of the good **** like good work habits.

 

[ubercat]

Still comes down to the car though. If you give him shelter but take away his job that's just another kick in the Cobblers.

 

[El Payaso]

Question. Does he have any habits that constitute a significant drain on his money? Drinking? Smoking? Drugs? Strippers? Hookers? etc.

 

[Desdinova]

Question. Does he have any habits that constitute a significant drain on his money? Drinking? Smoking? Drugs? Strippers? Hookers? etc.

Drinking and smoking. I see that as part of the circle though. He's stressed, so he can't quit either. His lack of money causes him stress. It's a vicious circle. He hasn't been laid in the last 8 years, and the guy has absolutely no problem drawing in women.

Moving him here is extremely problematic, since he risks jail time. There is no way I could move him out here, even temporarily unless I have a job lined up for him, and that's a problem since he currently has no drivers license.

 

[Bible_Belt]

What does he risk jail for? Unpaid child support? Obviously, I'm in the US, not Canada, but the trend here is to stop locking up deadbeat dads, because they can't earn a pay check from prison.

How far away is the corner store? A mile or two is not an unreasonable walk.

 

[backbreaker]

okay

he's lying to you. i see it now. if he could get to work and back there is no way anyone is going to put him in jail as logn as he's making his payments.


no, see drug addicts are extremely good at making up there impossible situations that at the end of the day result in you giving them **** on their terms.

 

[Desdinova]

What does he risk jail for? Unpaid child support? Obviously, I'm in the US, not Canada, but the trend here is to stop locking up deadbeat dads, because they can't earn a pay check from prison.

He would risk jail time if it appears that he's actively avoiding making child support payments. I believe he would have to document that he's looking for work. However, he can't do that out here without a drivers license.

How far away is the corner store? A mile or two is not an unreasonable walk.

No, the corner store and the walk isn't the problem. The problem is the corner store here isn't hiring. There's a store hiring in a town which is a 15 minute drive away. Foot or bike isn't an option.

if he could get to work and back there is no way anyone is going to put him in jail as logn as he's making his payments.

Exactly, and that's the problem. The store in my town isn't hiring.

 

[sazc]

I don't know the law, and maybe you don't either, but don't they allow exemptions on suspending licenses in order to get to work and back? Like, JUST to go to and from work so he can earn a living. Has he looked into that?

The friends that I have that have similar issues never want to be proactive and help themselves. That want everyone to save them. Its frustrating and I finally realized I was enabling and stepped back.

Good luck with it all

 

[Tenacity]

I'm linking @BeExcellent, @guru1000, and @TheProspect into this thread. Not to start any arguments, but you guys have strong beliefs that men should enter into the Family Court system through marriage, making children, etc. But here's another example of a man being treated very piss poorly and I don't see any contribution from you guys in this thread whatsoever? You are promoting this stuff heavily, so you should be the MAIN contributors when hell breaks loose? Right? I'll await your reply.......

So Des.....here's my real, raw, thoughts on this:

I've known this guy for 20 years, and we always have a blast together. Work schedules clash, but we occasionally make time to hang out.

He's been having a difficult time as of late. The other day, he messaged me, seemingly in a state of desperation. He's been living with 3 other roomates in a house. They're all moving out, but my friend has no place to go. He's also been getting his paycheck garnished because his ex-wife is constantly demanding child support. When they split, she moved to a different city with the two kids.

His workplace has cut his hours and he's been living off food from the dollar store. He can only afford to pay $200 per month for rent. He's stressed as fvck and depressed.

I'm at a bit of a loss on how to help him. I have a bunch of outbuildings on my property. I was thinking of trying to get him a job at the corner store and insulate one of the outbuildings for him to live in, at least temporarily. (our winters in Canada can get a bit chilly). I currently don't have any extra room in my house, and won't until I put on the addition next summer.

I'm hanging out with him Thursday. I'm going to see what I can do to help him. I'm really searching for ideas here.

So you have known him for 20 years, I assume you guys are both in the 40's range in terms of age, correct? My question is, at this point in this guy's life (being 40 plus), why is it that the only jobs he qualifies for are minimum wage jobs? Where are his marketplace skills? What has he been DOING for 20 years in terms of advancing his life, his self-development, etc.?

For 20 years Des.......this grown man has done nothing to increase his skills, complete a degree, learn a trade, or do anything in terms of building a career? The only thing this grown man qualifies for is burger flipping jobs or other minimum wage/low wage crap at Corner Stores?

Also he mentioned he was homeless before, so all of these financial problems have been going on for years and IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FINANCIAL MESS, he makes a kid?? He can barely take care of himself and he makes a kid out of the situation? Why would you have a kid when you can barely take care of yourself?

@sazc is completely right (in this regard).

I'm sorry Des, the guy is a loser, not a victim.

You should start DROPPING friends who aren't "growing with you". Basically, you and your buddy 20 years ago might have been broke when you were let's say 22 (damn near everybody is broke then).....but you ought to have a growth plan and he ought to have one too. By 30, you both should be financially solid. So Des got off his a.ss with a growth plan and apparently, your buddy did not. That's his fault, then he brings a kid into the situation on TOP of the financial mess he's in??

If your friends aren't GROWING with you, but instead are staying in the same "loser" position they have always been in, DROP THEM. Make new friends. Many of these people will stick around as "your buddy" only because they KNOW they can use you as a free stimulus package whenever their loser a.sses need a "bail out" through bills paid or someone to save their a.ss in some other fashion.

This guy is a grown a.ss man, he needs to start acting like it. DROP him.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

This dude is a loser bro. Cut that mess out. Cut friends out that are like this, they will only bring you down.