Being proud that you're still a virgin

[bugsquish]

Originally posted by Oxide
bugsquish , you are blowing this way out of proportions. Im not gonna wait till 50 for perfect chick, im gonna wait untill i find someone i have a connection with.

But what if it takes that long? You could be getting some practise in the meantime I'm not saying there's anything wrong with being a virgin, just don't get these peeps who deliberately hold onto it. Especially until marriage.

Oh, and I fully agree with not telling her she's going to be your first. Why? I wouldn't say "Oh by the way you're my number X in the sack" before shagging someone. So why tell her she's number one?

 

[Don Juanobi]

One thing I have noticed about Virgins vs non Vs is that the sexually active are often so obsessed with getting laid that the rest of their life is effected. Obviously some people can handle it better than others and can balance the two, but it seems the non V have a harder time getting their **** straight unless they are in a LTR. As soon as things fall through they are panicing for ***** every weekend. On the other hand I know some virgin religious types that are content with their love life as simple courtship and as a result are becoming increasingly successful in all their other facets of life.

The positive of losing your V however seems to be that a guy is more willing and confident to pickup new women in order to satisfy their physical needs. An urge that is a lot less distinct in the virgin types.

I agree that attitude is everything.

 

[VoodooChild]

Just thought I'd weigh in here-
I'm 21 and a virgin by choice. I have had offers out the wazoo, including one from a no-shyt Playboy model (by which I mean she was actually naked in Playboy.) I have turned them down. "But why, VoodooChild, why?" you ask. Good question. The answer is that a.) many of the offers were from females I wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole for fear of getting something that made MY ten-foot pole fall off. B.) Ideally, I'd like to wait until marriage, but if that doesn't happen, then C.) I'd at least like my first time to be with someone I actually care about and won't regret. And I don't buy into this business about not having any idea about what your sex life will be like if you've never slept with your future wife. My girlfriend of 11 months and I have obviously never had sex (she's a virgin too.) But we've done enough and talked about enough that I can tell you my sex life if/when we get married will be DYN-O-MIIIITE. She is a kinky, horny freak. But it's under control. You know the whole deal where we want a virgin to take home to meet the parents, but a ***** in the bedroom? I got that. It rocks.

 

[es_mer8]

I lost my virginity at age 18 thanks to this board. I did it not because of pressure but because I felt I wanted to. I wasn't a sex crazed fool but it was good. Regarding virginity, I feel that you should have sex until you are ready, not when your friends want you to or any of that. I don't have anymore respect towards anyone if they are waiting. Its their choice of lifestyle. I feel people should do as they wish as long as it did not harm others.

 

[marqZAL]

out the wazoo, including one from a no-shyt Playboy model (by which I mean she was actually naked in Playboy.) I have turned them down. "But why, VoodooChild, why?" you ask. Good question. The answer is that a.) many of the offers were from females I wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole for fear of getting something that made MY ten-foot pole fall off. B.) Ideally, I'd like to wait until marriage, but if that doesn't happen, then C.)

LOL....BULL ****!!!!!! You can't NONE!!!!!!!! Who are you kidding????? Nobody here!!!


In the mean time keep spanking it and living in LALA land!

 

[VoodooChild]

Believe what you like. The girl goes to my college, though, and is commonly known as one of the biggest skanks on campus. I know a guy who got herpes from her, so I'd rather not go there.

 

[Ol'BlueEyes]

good and bad

I'll turn 25 this month and will still be a virgin. There are times when I wish I could just pull the V's equivilant of a Get-Out-of-Jail-Free Card and get it over with....goodness knows I can't repress these urges for a slice of the pie.

On the other hand, I'm damn happy I don't have to put up with pregnant women hounding me or STD's.

All the same, the quest is getting boring. I'm not a virgin by choice; I just simply haven't gotten any. I 've never had a LTR with a woman (am I putting the cart before the horse?). I'm stuck in this stinkin' rut and I'm not sure if I can pull myself out. In fact, most of the time I think I won't. Sad, huh?

 

[Santos]

I am a 21 year old virgin. Also not because I CHOSE it, but because I just haven't gotten any. Why? I had one GF for a week in HS, that was it. Couldn't speak to women, way too shy, etc.

When I started uni 2 1/2 years ago I started making improvments on myself. Since then I have had my frist real kiss (at 19 OMG!) and one GF for a short period. This year I have met two chicks, the first one liked me and I scared her off when I was an AFC.

Then there's the one I met recently, I KNOW I coulda ****ed her brains out if Id met her at another time. Thing is she's young (17) and confused and has BF (for 11 months). She says she has "feelings" for me (after two weeks! LOL I rule ) and wants me as badly as her BF. She friend-zoned me, and then tried to feel me up and make out with me. Why? She wants to have me AND her BF in her life and she thought making me a "friend with benefits" would do just that. NEXT!

Anyway, my point is you must just keep trying. Don't give up. Keep working at it. I know what it is like to be stuck in a rut (I was in one until I made a move on this new chick). I am soo pissed off that I coulda got laid by this chick if the timing was right. Soooo close! Very frustrating.

Now I am kinda in a rut. But I'll get out of it. Let's me and you go read the bible again and work on our APPROACHES. My biggest problem (probablly yours too) with women is that I DON'T MEET ENOUGH!

Good luck
Santos

 

[G_S]

The only people who'll criticize you for being a virgin are the people who are so insecure themselves, that they need to feel good by putting you down. They're very much like a leech or louse. Instead of building their confidence up, they try to tear other people down to their level. It's not you, but those people who are pathetic. You know who you are.

Other than that, congrats man.

 

[es_mer8]

Regarding STDs, I love it when virgins say this is the reason. Whatever happened to getting tested beforehand or making sure you don't **** some bar slut? When I was a virgin, one of my favorite excuses was STDs. Now that I have sex, I realize its BS because I know the girls and know their sexual history. I got tested one time to see that I didn't get anything. Having a swab in your **** hurts for like 2 minutes but its better than having a disease for life.

 

[bugsquish]

I find that when I go through low patches in my self esteem, I go through quiet stages in my sex life (if I'm single) - and vice versa. Perhaps if I hadn't lost my virginity to such a forward chick, I woulda had more issues in later life. I have no doubt whatsoever that the longer I had gone with my V intact then the lower my self esteem would be. Consequently, the harder it will be to get laid. I also needed a constant supply of women to practise on.

Looks like luck has a lot to do with it... If you live in a small town you may be screwed. If you get lucky when you are younger you're gonna find it easier as you get older. But it doesn't mean that experienced guys can't go into the same slump.

A few months ago I was heading deeper and deeper into a dry spell with no sex and less self esteem. I wouldn't have gotten any sex for perhaps a long time. Almost like a born again virgin.

Luckily I found this site and realised that you make your own luck. I realised that time is ticking away for us all and soon I'll be too old to score with the chicks I'm attracted to. Time to make your own luck then my friends.

Originally posted by Santos
Anyway, my point is you must just keep trying. Don't give up. Keep working at it. I know what it is like to be stuck in a rut (I was in one until I made a move on this new chick). I am soo pissed off that I coulda got laid by this chick if the timing was right. Soooo close! Very frustrating.

Now I am kinda in a rut. But I'll get out of it. Let's me and you go read the bible again and work on our APPROACHES. My biggest problem (probablly yours too) with women is that I DON'T MEET ENOUGH!

EXACTLY, well said my friend. Work on your technique, and your approaches. If you really don't live somewhere that you can meet a steady supply of women, then either accept it and get a hobby - or do what I did and MOVE TO THE CITY! It will be the time of your life

 

[marqZAL]

The only people who'll criticize you for being a virgin are the people who are so insecure themselves, that they need to feel good by putting you down. They're very much like a leech or louse. Instead of building their confidence up, they try to tear other people down to their level. It's not you, but those people who are pathetic. You know who you are.

Look, I am not sure what planet you come from, but sex is natural part of life. If a grown man or women doesnt want sex...that isnt natural. I dont know why you think your high and mighty because you dont have sex??? Your not normal!!!! This is a matter of following your desires as a human being(we are sexual creatures)....if you lack sexual desire or the ability to follow through on your desires as a grown as$ man then you have big problems. As far as being insecure, even if was...it doesnt change the fact that youd be sitting home on a friday night jacking off, while I am out banging the girl you wish would give you the time of day!!!

 

[MysteryWoman]

Originally posted by marqZAL
Look, I am not sure what planet you come from, but sex is natural part of life. If a grown man or women doesnt want sex...that isnt natural. I dont know why you think your high and mighty because you dont have sex??? Your not normal!!!! This is a matter of following your desires as a human being(we are sexual creatures)....if you lack sexual desire or the ability to follow through on your desires as a grown as$ man then you have big problems. As far as being insecure, even if was...it doesnt change the fact that youd be sitting home on a friday night jacking off, while I am out banging the girl you wish would give you the time of day!!!

Its not a question about what is normal or not normal. There is such a pressure for everyone to be fcuking. How can he know something is good unless he has tried.

 

[bugsquish]

I think marqZAL's point is that it is a biologically programmed and instinctive act, necessary for the future of the species. Like eating. Seems foolish to fight it.

 

[VoodooChild]

Originally posted by marqZAL
Look, I am not sure what planet you come from, but sex is natural part of life. If a grown man or women doesnt want sex...that isnt natural. I dont know why you think your high and mighty because you dont have sex??? Your not normal!!!! This is a matter of following your desires as a human being(we are sexual creatures)....if you lack sexual desire or the ability to follow through on your desires as a grown as$ man then you have big problems. As far as being insecure, even if was...it doesnt change the fact that youd be sitting home on a friday night jacking off, while I am out banging the girl you wish would give you the time of day!!!

I don't even know where to begin. I guess point-by-point will do.

1. No one ever said virgins don't want sex. I want sex. But for a variety of reasons, different ones at different times, the potential pain outweighs the potential pleasure. At least that's how I see it.

2. I don't think I'm high and mighty because I choose not to have sex. That's my choice. I could give a shyt less what anyone else does. And given what passes for "normal" in modern society, "abnormal" is a title I wear with pride already. AFCism is normal. Think about that.

3. Again, you're operating under a false premise. This premise is that the only reason for one to be a virgin is that there's something outside one's own control preventing one from acting on one's desires. This is, at least for me, not the case, so your argument is moot. I do not lack sexual desire. I do not lack the ability to act on my desires. However, I choose not to act on those desires. I choose this because of my principles, because of my upbringing, because basically it's a promise I made to myself and I want to follow through on it. I also choose this to prevent out-of-wedlock pregnancies, shotgun weddings to girls I don't care about, STDs from random bar sluts, fathers with shotguns, and any number of other things. The bottom line is, it's my choice, and I have the willpower to overcome my physical desires. In fact, this ability is what separates humans from the lower animals. This is a fundamental part of our humanness. There's nothing abnormal or unhealthy about restraining one's desires.

4. Finally, my choice to not have sex has nothing to do with my ability to attract, date, etc., any woman I want. I don't have much of a problem with that.

 

[Ol'BlueEyes]

marqZAL

I'm a virgin, and I WANT sex. I'm using the term "want' in the strongest way I can. It is this want, however, that keeps me from getting it. I'm too damn anxious.

You make it sound like sex is something you can't live without, like some form of sustinence. It's not like they're selling sex at $2.99 per lb. down at the deli.

 

[Eyecandie4ya]

I feel that he should at least get some before becoming so serious with a female. Let's say he gets involved with this one particular female, they fall in love, etc etc. 1 year down the line she breaks up with him but he 's having a hard time of letting her go because she is the only person he trully "love".

That's a very tough pill to swallow because it will be eating away at him. Having just that one and not "experiencing" can throw a man into depression because he felt like she was the first of everything and other females that come into life won't "love" him the same.

Also with the disease issue, how many people actually visit the clinic before they have sex, almost NONE. You can catch a disease on your first try, there have been a lot case like that.

 

[marqZAL]

You make it sound like sex is something you can't live without, like some form of sustinence.

LOL, its something that one can live without, however why would anyone want to. Can you live with out watching football, playing sports, playing video games, your cell phone or listening to music ECT.???? Of course you can, do you want to??? Most likely youll say NO!!! Why because its something you enjoy, its something that makes you happy, so why would anyone want to live without things that make them happy after having received much pleasure doing it?

 

[Ol'BlueEyes]

marqZAL

Therin lies the rub; I don't know how good it feels, so I don't know what I'm missing. I wouldn't be a football fan if I never watched a game. I don't own a cellphone, therefore I don't want one. I could go on and on.

Believe me man, I'd love to have mindless, crazy monkey-sex every weekend (just once a month would be fine ). It just hasn't happened. I can't go from dateless/sexless one second to sarging the next HB I see the next.

 

[G_S]

Originally posted by marqZAL
Look, I am not sure what planet you come from, but sex is natural part of life. If a grown man or women doesnt want sex...that isnt natural. I dont know why you think your high and mighty because you dont have sex??? Your not normal!!!! This is a matter of following your desires as a human being(we are sexual creatures)....if you lack sexual desire or the ability to follow through on your desires as a grown as$ man then you have big problems. As far as being insecure, even if was...it doesnt change the fact that youd be sitting home on a friday night jacking off,

Please marqZAL, explain to me exactly what normal is. Everyone has desires, but some people have greater ambitions in life than getting laid. A girl would surely distract me from my goals right now. Why am I here? Confidence building. Interesting how you assume that I sit at home, jerking off on Friday nights. Quite a stereotypical idea of virgins you have there. If you only knew.

while I am out banging the girl you wish would give you the time of day!!!

Do my eyes decieve me? You're obviously confused. Let me give you some advice. If you want to insult someone on the internet, never, never assume.