If you insist on marrying a virgin, this is the kind of woman you'll get.
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INSTRUCTION AND ADVICE
FOR THE YOUNG BRIDE
on the Conduct and Procedure of the Intimate and
Personal Relationships of the Marriage State for the
Greater Spiritual Sanctity of this Blessed Sacrament
and the Glory of God
by
Ruth Smythers beloved wife of The Reverend L.D.
Smythers
Pastor of the Arcadian Methodist Church of the Eastern
Regional Conference
Published in the year of our Lord 1894 Spiritual
Guidance Press New York City
To the sensitive young woman who has had the benefits
of proper upbringing, the wedding day is, ironically,
both the happiest and most terrifying day of her life.
On the positive side, there is the wedding itself, in
which the bride is the central attraction in a
beautiful and inspiring ceremony, symbolizing her
triumph in securing a male to provide for all her
needs for the rest of her life. On the negative side,
there is the wedding night, during which the bride
must pay the piper, so to speak, by facing for the
first time the terrible experience of sex.
At this point, dear reader, let me concede one
shocking truth. Some young women actually anticipate
the wedding night ordeal with curiosity and pleasure!
Beware such an attitude! A selfish and sensual husband
can easily take advantage of such a bride. One
cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten:
GIVE LITTLE, GIVE SELDOM, AND ABOVE ALL, GIVE
GRUDGINGLY. Otherwise what could have been a proper
marriage could become an orgy of sexual lust.
On the other hand, the bride's terror need not be
extreme. While sex is at best revolting and at worse
rather painful, it has to be endured, and has been by
women since the beginning of time, and is compensated
for by the monogamous home and by the children
produced through it.
It is useless, in most cases, for the bride to prevail
upon the groom to forego the sexual initiation. While
the ideal husband would be one who would approach his
bride only at her request and only for the purpose of
begetting offspring, such nobility and unselfishness
cannot be expected from the average man.
Most men, if not denied, would demand sex almost every
day. The wise bride will permit a maximum of two brief
sexual experiences weekly during the first months of
marriage. As time goes by she should make every effort
to reduce this frequency.
Feigned illness, sleepiness, and headaches are among
the wife's best friends in this matter. Arguments,
nagging, scolding, and bickering also prove very
effective, if used in the late evening about an hour
before the husband would normally commence his
seduction.
Clever wives are ever on the alert for new and better
methods of denying and discouraging the amorous
overtures of the husband. A good wife should expect to
have reduced sexual contacts to once a week by the end
of the first year of marriage and to once a month by
the end of the fifth year of marriage.
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By their tenth anniversary many wives have managed to
complete their child bearing and have achieved the
ultimate goal of terminating all sexual contacts with
the husband. By this time she can depend upon his love
for the children and social pressures to hold the
husband in the home.
Just as she should be ever alert to keep the quantity
of sex as low as possible, the wise bride will pay
equal attention to limiting the kind and degree of
sexual contacts. Most men are by nature rather
perverted, and if given half a chance, would engage in
quite a variety of the most revolting practices. These
practices include among others performing the normal
act in abnormal positions; mouthing the female body;
and offering their own vile bodies to be mouthed in
turn.
Nudity, talking about sex, reading stories about sex,
viewing photographs and drawings depicting or
suggesting sex are the obnoxious habits the male is
likely to acquire if permitted.
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A wise bride will make it the goal never to allow her
husband to see her unclothed body, and never allow him
to display his unclothed body to her. Sex, when it
cannot be prevented, should be practiced only in total
darkness. Many women have found it useful to have
thick cotton nightgowns for themselves and pajamas for
their husbands. These should be donned in separate
rooms. They need not be removed during the sex act.
Thus, a minimum of flesh is exposed.
Once the bride has donned her gown and turned off all
the lights, she should lie quietly upon the bed and
await her groom. When he comes groping into the room
she should make no sound to guide him in her
direction, lest he take this as a sign of
encouragement. She should let him grope in the dark.
There is always the hope that he will stumble and
incur some slight injury which she can use as an
excuse to deny him sexual access.
When he finds her, the wife should lie as still as
possible. Bodily motion on her part could be
interpreted as sexual excitement by the optimistic
husband.
If he attempts to kiss her on the lips she should turn
her head slightly so that the kiss falls harmlessly on
her cheek instead. If he attempts to kiss her hand,
she should make a fist. If he lifts her gown and
attempts to kiss her anyplace else she should quickly
pull the gown back in place, spring from the bed, and
announce that nature calls her to the toilet. This
will generally dampen his desire to kiss in the
forbidden territory.
If the husband attempts to seduce her with lascivious
talk, the wise wife will suddenly remember some
trivial non-sexual question to ask him. Once he
answers she should keep the conversation going, no
matter how frivolous it may seem at the time.
Eventually, the husband will learn that if he insists
on having sexual contact, he must get on with it
without amorous embellishment. The wise wife will
allow him to pull the gown up no farther than the
waist, and only permit him to open the front of his
pajamas to thus make connection.
She will be absolutely silent or babble about her
housework while he is huffing and puffing away. Above
all, she will lie perfectly still and never under any
circumstances grunt or groan while the act is in
progress. As soon as the husband has completed the
act, the wise wife will start nagging him about
various minor tasks she wishes him to perform on the
morrow. Many men obtain a major portion of their
sexual satisfaction from the peaceful exhaustion
immediately after the act is over. Thus the wife must
insure that there is no peace in this period for him
to enjoy. Otherwise, he might be encouraged to soon
try for more.
One heartening factor for which the wife can be
grateful is the fact that the husband's home, school,
church, and social environment have been working
together all through his life to instill in him a deep
sense of guilt in regards to his sexual feelings, so
that he comes to the marriage couch apologetically and
filled with shame, already half cowed and subdued. The
wise wife seizes upon this advantage and relentlessly
pursues her goal first to limit, later to annihilate
completely her husband's desire for sexual expression.
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bp1974
How is that DJesque? 