DaddyLongShanks
Banned
- Joined
- Apr 23, 2015
- Messages
- 657
- Reaction score
- 18
Make a plan and start somewhere. You can still hang around "hood" people, it just cannot be too often and it shouldn't form your identity. If you had a buddy that did dominoes and cards and barbequeued a couple time s amonth, it wouldn't kill you to enjoy with them.Tenacity said:No, you guys are totally right.
- I have a need for external validation and praise.
- I have somewhat low self esteem
- I have a lack of internal peace
- I tend to deliberately hang out around people that I shouldn't
You guys are totally right, and I'm working to become a better man. The low self esteem just comes from an identity crisis. I mean everything I stand for in life (career, investing, being something in life) is usually against what most of my black family, friends, etc. are doing on a daily basis.
It's like I don't fit in with any "group" per say.
And I do have a need for external validation, it's like everyday I'm out trying to prove myself. My Career doesn't make this any better because we have quotas every quarter so, doesn't really matter what I did last quarter, I'm going to svck if I don't hit it again this quarter.
Plus a lot of the decisions I make on the way my car looks, the apartment I chose, etc., are really based on what I think works/gets attention from women, so yes, I look for that validation in that aspect.
I think some of it is required, while not healthy, it's required. But some of it (such as hanging around hood people) is NOT required and that needs to go.
But down there trying to carve out an identity, hang everyday is not going to work out for you or your career.
And like I said before it's best if your ladies are of like mind, and if not they were raised to respect a man.
Start your stronger identity from somewhere, plan it and execute the plan. Worry about what you can change, it will take time.
Good pu$$y will not hurt things at all. Find a lady you don't mind in your head, where you don't have a bunch of hurdles and booby traps to hit the a$$.