Being A Black Conservative (Don't Try This At Home)

[hithard]

Yeah we get this in Australia. But we have a strong casual racism culture to back it up. People visiting Australia that see it must think we are fuc.king backward. I have a lot of guys working for me in construction and when a new young guy comes along they get drilled. All the anti-bullying talks and videos often make it worse. Guys get frustrated as retaliating does nothing. Above all the healthy and safety crap I ask them
"Are you ashamed of who you are?"
"No, then fuc.ken own it"
It isn't so much self deprecating, rather more a jokingly proud arrogance. A more extreme caricature of whatever they are throwing at you.
If they are giving you stick about being a conservative, ham it up.
"Guys in conservative America everyone gets a job, you can be my butler and you can wash my avenger."
Or
"Man the boot of my car still has enough room for your pushbike"

Just before a lynch mob breaks out or you see them getting really angry, defuse the situation with "man calm down I'm just playing".

Cultures are different though. What works here might cause a riot there. But still own who you are and revel in pis$ing people off with it when they give it to you. Make sure you always add "just joking around". Never get angry and say everything in a joking around tone.
People may start talking behind your back . But that just means you are ahead of the pack. This kind of thing is usually people with 'cutting down tall poppies' syndrome.
Don't sweat the small stuff but own who you are. Don't hold grudges either, waste of energy. Forgot to add , if they are friends make sure you emphasize being a strong friend when those around you truly need help (not handouts).

 

[Tenacity]

Here's my question though. ZTIME there's a couple of theories as to why this is happeneing:

- They are trying to get a "rise" out of me and need validation

- I'm hated by Black Trash in general

- I'm doing something that's pissing them off or offending them

Option three is off the table because I mind my own business, so it's either one or two.

The reason I don't think it's Option One, is because it's not just one guy, or two guys, or 3 people. One guy says something, then EVERYBODY starts in. When I say everybody, I'm talking about...EVERY SINGLE PERSON in the area.

ZTIME I don't know how I ignore that? How do you ignore that? The girl I'm coming to pick up is acknowledging what they are saying with smiles and laughter. The smiles and laughter of the people around them are what's giving them the validation from what I can see.

There are times I just don't say anything and you know what happens? It gets worse. So either way I lose:

- If I respond, then they say, "Haha he mad, he mad!" Which is to say I'm so sensitive and a little bytch, and let people get under my skin.

- If I don't respond, then they say, "This nygga a bytch, he aint even defend himself...see I told yall he a bytch, haha".

So either way, I'm still a BYTCH. Again, if it's 1-3 people doing the shyt that's nothing. Why does EVERYBODY join in with them? Why are the people I'm supposedly cool with or who supposedly like me (including the girl and her family) not saying anything but instead laughing with the idiots which do nothing but encourage them to KEEP going?

 

[backbreaker]

I wanted to make this thread in addition to the Mother Thread I have open. I'm never shy to put my entire life out there, because I always want to get real and honest opinions.

I need to RANT.

It's svcks being a Black Conservative, don't try this at home. I mean, it just does.

- You are black and don't relate to anything black, because the black culture has become mainly worshippers of ratchet behavior.

- You get fvcked with A LOT by other black people and they keep fvcking with you, and fvcking with you just to try to get a reaction out of you. Then when they get a reaction, they say, "Haha, you mad bro!?"

- Nothing that you do is right. So I graduate college with multiple degrees, they find something wrong with that from discussing the types of colleges I went to, to discussing the fact of why would I need so many degrees? Yet, their friends have NO degrees and there's no issue with that.

- When I was dead broke, they mocked me. When I bust my a.ss off and get my shyt together, now I'm still mocked for being arrogant or "thinking he's white".

- They mock my fvcking car. When I had my Charger before it got flooded, they talked shyt about it. Now that I have my Avenger, because I needed to grab something quick when the Charger got flooded, now they talk shyt about that.

- Try having a serious conversation or discussion, it always turns into a lame roast session and seeing as though I'm the only conservative in the room, of course I have to be "roasted" for an hour by 30 people. And the roasts are always the same high schoolish stupid shyt, like, "You are gay, your clothes are wack, you are a self hater, you are a coon, I bet you are still broke, etc. etc."

I argue with guys on the Anything Else Forum like Jaylan, Max and Embers, their narrative is that black people are targeted by white people, which I totally disagree with.

But yet, nobody ever talks about how blacks are targeted by other blacks, and in this case, black conservatives being targeted by black trash.

It's not just me either, go online and you will see it everywhere. Every black conservative has to get roasted, talked about, mocked, stalked, harassed, all types of fvcking shyt.

This shyt goes deep because I'm black, and I'm mainly attracted to black women, so it's hard to just NOT BE AROUND black people anymore when the object of my affection is black.

It also goes deeper, because adding to what I said in my Mother thread, I honestly believe one of the reasons my Mother is like that is because I'm a black conservative. Nobody in my family is doing the things I'm doing in terms of education, business, etc. It's like I was fvcking adopted. Seriously.

Note, when I talk about being a Black Conservative, I'm NOT just talking my political stances. Everybody knows I'm not like the "typical black guy", everybody knows I'm smarter than most of the "typical black people" and the rest of the idiotic people within that culture. So that right there singles me out for all types of bullshyt.

I've been dealing with this shyt since Grade School, I'm honestly getting tired of it. I can't fvckign win. I know I'm 31, a man, shouldn't let shyt bother me and all that jazz, but damn it if I could just get some fvcking UNDERSTANDING on why people like me have to be targeted like this all the time...that would be great.

I feel where you're coming from. I'm obviously black too. I mean, I would not go so far as to say I'm a conservative. I have some **** I'm conservative about (death penalty, small government, etc), I have some **** I'm liberal about (taxes, gay marriage, penal system, etc)


But I understand your frustration in general being a black man that's not ghetto. Not even ghetto, "black".

I mean, I'm black, I'm not ashamed of the fact that I'm black, but it's not something I'm proud of either if that makes sense. To me I'm just a black dude. Just like I don't understand how white people are "proud to be white" WTF did you do to be white lol


My interests generally do not put me in the vicinity of other american Americans and defiantly not ones with the correct mindset. It makes dating and life in general so much harder.


My mother pretty much hates my guts lol. She's a very outspoken afro centric woman and she hates the fact that my wife is wife. But gets along with my wife becuase she has grandkids now. Black women, when I was broke would not give me the time of day becuase i wasn't black enough, and then turn around and talk **** about you becuase you "went outside your race"


It takes a strong individual, of any race, to be himself. Just be you. People are going to hate you if you're rich, people are going to hate you if you're poor. People are going to hate you if your white, people are going to hate you if you're black, the only difference is the group of people that hates you.


You can't control how other people act, you can't control how other people think, but you can control your environment, the people you hang around and what you read and don't read. When you start to read like, all those black people suck posts on the AE forum you start to adapt a defensive mindset and look for **** like that in real life, that's why I stay away from that BS I have more important **** to do.


Just be you, keep trying to make new friends, keep trying to approach new chicks, you'll get yours.

 

[Obsidian]

Here's my question though. ZTIME there's a couple of theories as to why this is happeneing

It's called "jealousy."

There are times I just don't say anything and you know what happens? It gets worse. So either way I lose

Proverbs 26:4-5
Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest thou also be like unto him.
Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own conceit.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Tenacity, you should consider leaving Michigan and moving to an actual Metropolitan area where people are more concerned whether you're able to help them succeed to let something like race get into the way. This is why places like Chicago and New York aren't like Detroit and Gary when you're in the actual metropolitan parts of the city.

Like others have alluded to, expand your interaction with the world. You've already distinguished yourself as someone who doesn't arbitrarily conform to expected mores so why continue to force yourself into trying to fit into places what aren't congruent with your nature? It's bad enough these people are selling you short, it's worse that you're still finding yourself in situations like that when you don't have to.

Face it, for the good and bad of it you are different. So why not find other people who are different? It's not as if your identity is dependent on just your race; you have complexities that can't be categorized stereotypically and for what it's worth, those who can't relate to you mock you for their own amusement because in the grand scheme of things, that is their talent. Unless you are a "baller" or a "rapper" these people have little or no interest in what you have to offer.

From what you've written about yourself, you seem to have put a hell of a lot of effort into preparing yourself for the world. Why are you wasting it by just hanging out in your own back yard? For as small as it is, the world is a pretty big place for someone with the skills and the wherefore all to embrace it.

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

I was trying to say it but my comment wouldn't post.

Yes I know exactly what you are facing but it is not fully an issue of "race".

You are much more ambitious and successful than your family members, friends and those around you. IN addition you are taking choices of women from "common" folks who don't care about such things.

My guy hit the nail on the head if you aren't a baller or rapper they won't give you your props on success and even then they probably won't if they don't like your style.

You will not change these peoples mind, nor have people for hundred and hundreds and thousands of years changed peoples mind about this.

Successful and well off people go to live around other successful and well off people, they cannot bring "poor" values into that realm because they will be kicked out. And as you see you cannot have "rich" values in the "poor" world because they will bully you , they will single you out, they will clown you till you can't even get a ugly female over there.

So you identified the problem. You identified it's also within some of your family members. Do you think you are the first one to suffer this? Some of our family members we can see like being a "CME" church member, IE: "Christmas, Mothersday and Easter"...

Oh, I said your problem is not a "race" one... Well if you have "white", "asian", "african", "latino" whatever, you canont become well off and then expect to get props from the "poor". They will dog you down. And in the black "race" it's pretty bad, because by design in the "hood" people were designed to be "crabs", meaning they will do things to keep you subjugated.

People will try to "put you in your place" as they remember you before you where successful, and it will never stop. You can even fight, but you can't fight the whole hood, because you will be pissing people off.

Find women and friends with similar core values as yours, live around them. Visit the hood very occasionally, but don't try to make a career over there, you served your time.

 

[Tenacity]

Guys, thanks a lot for the recommendations and I'm going to look at making these changes.

I also believe I need to just find a very good mental health counselor because, it's just with decades of dealing with them I believe it's had an affect on me internally.

I mean it's one thing to go through this, but it's another thing for all those people tell you, that YOU are the problem. "Tenacity if everybody is doing this, then it's YOU not US." When I point out, line by line, what they are doing that's causing the issues, they just BRUSH them off and say, "Man up, stop whining about it." Man I can't win.

And because I grew up with this, your self-identity gets crafted based on the people you are around. I have been crafted, constructed and manufactured to think of myself as LESS THAN by these people. That's the entire goal, is to make me MAKE SURE that I am aware that I am a piece of shyt, I'm less than, and no matter WHAT I do, I'm still lame.

And they succeeded man. They succeeded. I have to give props where it's due, they fvcking won this fight. Because while I can on one hand go out and do some great things in career and education wise, they have successfully fvcked up my personal self worth, self concept and self identity in terms of just being a regular person.

This is going to be like starting over from scratch. I was avoiding doing that. I was trying to (as everyone was telling me), keep looking BACK in the mirror and going back in the Lab and changing this, changing that, changing this, changing that. Man I'm coming to the realization, I'm never going to be accepted or loved by these people. MY OWN PEOPLE. The people that, while ironic, other black guys in the Anything Else Section of this forum claim I'M THE ONE that's being racist to them! I have been discriminated, kicked out, a.ss kicked, self esteem fvcked up, etc., by my OWN PEOPLE. But this shyt doesn't get discussed. When this shyt is bought up they either say, "Just man up and deal with it, " or "Nygga why you so sensitive," or "Nygga it's YOU it aint US, look in the mirror."

I'm literally living in two worlds. I'm ONE person in my Career, and I'm a totally different person PERSONALLY/SOCIALLY.

Black Ghetto people want to talk about discrimination? Discrimination...well I'm hated by EVERYBODY. There's certain white trash that don't like me because I'm black, and there's black trash that dont like me because I'm too white...where teh FVCK DO I go to fit in at?

I have to get a counselor to help me get back stable, if that's even possible. Then I have to pursue other areas. But overall, I just feel like I LOSS this fight and they WON. They wanted me to give up and quit, and walk away, instead of continuing to FIGHT and eventually win. And by me walking away it feels as though they WON.

Anybody else would have committed suicide a long time ago, a longgg time ago. And of course when I commit suicide they would say, "See, I told yall this nygga was lame." I mean you guys are responding to this thread, but I don't think you guys REALLY understand the gravity of this situation. It's very FVCKED UP.

 

[ZTIME]

Here's my question though. ZTIME there's a couple of theories as to why this is happeneing:

- They are trying to get a "rise" out of me and need validation

- I'm hated by Black Trash in general

- I'm doing something that's pissing them off or offending them

Option three is off the table because I mind my own business, so it's either one or two.

The reason I don't think it's Option One, is because it's not just one guy, or two guys, or 3 people. One guy says something, then EVERYBODY starts in. When I say everybody, I'm talking about...EVERY SINGLE PERSON in the area.

ZTIME I don't know how I ignore that? How do you ignore that? The girl I'm coming to pick up is acknowledging what they are saying with smiles and laughter. The smiles and laughter of the people around them are what's giving them the validation from what I can see.

There are times I just don't say anything and you know what happens? It gets worse. So either way I lose:

- If I respond, then they say, "Haha he mad, he mad!" Which is to say I'm so sensitive and a little bytch, and let people get under my skin.

- If I don't respond, then they say, "This nygga a bytch, he aint even defend himself...see I told yall he a bytch, haha".

So either way, I'm still a BYTCH. Again, if it's 1-3 people doing the shyt that's nothing. Why does EVERYBODY join in with them? Why are the people I'm supposedly cool with or who supposedly like me (including the girl and her family) not saying anything but instead laughing with the idiots which do nothing but encourage them to KEEP going?

It would be really easy to give you advice on how to react in these situations. Drop a few wise as* comments that make you look like the better man and all of that. But I believe that this forum is intended to help people in situations and to fix the problem from the root.

The fact that one guy starts something and the whole group starts to follow suit is common in any social situation. It's the "big fish little pond" effect where one person in a small social setting has all the pull. Enter into any social circle and you'll find the Alpha quite easily. Everyone else is just following his lead.

The question is: Where do you go from here? You can dump the chick and not date anyone in this neighborhood to avoid it all together, or you can choose to ignore it. Your choice.

The problem you face either way is how you internalize these situations and choose to spend your own "emotional currency" when dealing with them. Emotions, including anger are how you choose to deal with situations. People really can't make you angry! Anger is just how you choose to react to them.

All of these situations you're dealing with right now, (your mother, your women, and these ghetto hood rats), you can't stop them from happening. People do what they want, but you have the choice on how to react. The problem is that the more emotion you invest into your reaction, the more value you create in what others are doing.

You've had to fight to get where you are in life, and if no one has said it: "You've done well, and it's impressive". The thing is, sometimes it's ok to rest and stop fighting.

 

[mangotot]

Hang out with people of all races that are successful and your way inclined. Your problem is that you are hanging out with the less successful members of your race. In America there are loads of successful black people. Though these are in the minority compared to less well off ones.

 

[guru1000]

Tenacity, you are too uptight. Loosen up my man. I used to own a building in the ghetto. When I was there I used to joke and have fun with them--and I'm white, lol. They respected me so much that I never had to evict any of them--they paid their rents. It really is not a big deal.

I've come to the conclusion that the majority of men here are not great with women not so much because of looks, rather their introverted tendencies.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Go take some boxing lessons. I am yet to meet a sh!t-talking hood rat who can take a stiff jab to the nose and not start crying.

I'm not telling you to get in fights. I'm telling you to learn how to fight. It will give you a demeanor that keeps people from fvcking with you, thereby avoiding conflicts. Learning how to fight is the best way to avoid fights.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

I have to get a counselor to help me get back stable, if that's even possible. Then I have to pursue other areas. But overall, I just feel like I LOSS this fight and they WON. They wanted me to give up and quit, and walk away, instead of continuing to FIGHT and eventually win. And by me walking away it feels as though they WON.

Just choose very wisely. I'd stay away from "therapists" and look for something more like a "life coach," but that's just me.

Spend some time shopping around for somebody who can coach you through life, rather than somebody who'll dig through your brain endlessly for more "trauma" to exploit and turn into an income stream. (you can tell I don't trust therapists).

Essentially, this is the same, structurally, as every other guy who has trouble dealing with other guys when he's out with his girl. How to handle the AMOG.

Regardless of who it happens to, everybody tends to see their own situation as "unique" and different from everybody, which allows to keep their feelings of being a victim.

If you start to believe that "your case is different," then you'll end up down a very dark and unhappy path.

If you treat this as a typical game problem that ALL GUYS FACE, then it will be much easier to overcome.

All men must leave their family, and become their own men, by their own definition.

That has been true since the dawn of time.

Some got it easy, some got it hard.

But it's the SAME path.

You don't need to reinvent the wheel, just yourself.

It's a lot of work, but it's what MEN must do.

Keep at it.

 

[LiveFreeX]

Read a couple Tony Robbins books man, he's got a good system to organize your life. Anytime I have a piece of paper handy I use it... its basically listing stuff you like, prioritizing it and then putting a dollar value next to it. You don't need a therapist to tell you that you are crazy... I mean their job is to keep you sitting on the couch so $$$ can roll in.

Go out and do some crazy stuff instead, go do 'the walk' in Spain, jump out of an airplane or go scuba diving a bit. It'll get you out of the hood, thats for sure. There is a lot more to life than b1tches and money. God only makes himself known to you when you quiet your mind and are ready to receive him and you'll only find him when you are doing things that make you think

"Please, please don't let me die right now, I have so much to live for!".

In those moments, you have to question, just who you are talking to?

 

[Slickster]

It sounds like the people in your social life are not genuinely your friends at all.

It sounds like a lot of childish jealousy. Who the fvck cares what you drive or how you dress enough to make comments like that. That's high school crap man. Those people are beneath you.

I'm not sure why you would bother keeping people like that in your life. What do you get out of it?

Is there anything or any reason why you decided to live where you are now? It's time to pack up and go. There are better places in the world to be if you are constantly surrounded by that kind of negativity. Just go man. You are wasting away in that environment.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

There are times I just don't say anything and you know what happens? It gets worse. So either way I lose:

- If I respond, then they say, "Haha he mad, he mad!" Which is to say I'm so sensitive and a little bytch, and let people get under my skin.

- If I don't respond, then they say, "This nygga a bytch, he aint even defend himself...see I told yall he a bytch, haha".

So either way, I'm still a BYTCH. Again, if it's 1-3 people doing the shyt that's nothing. Why does EVERYBODY join in with them? Why are the people I'm supposedly cool with or who supposedly like me (including the girl and her family) not saying anything but instead laughing with the idiots which do nothing but encourage them to KEEP going?

And for the Embers of the world, just how many of these @ssholes are white? I'm curious as to how there is so much rancor about the white man holding back people of color when this is happening in their own backyards; probably being perpetrated by the very people who are pointing fingers at anyone who isn't "of color." Consider this, Bill Cosby came out against people like this ages ago and he was raked over the coals.

 

[Poon King]

This goes back to the need some people have for outside validation. LOSE IT.

The more your "happiness" is shaped by the opinions/behavior of others the more elusive it will be. YOUR opinion of yourself must trump all others.

Sure it might be arrogant to dismiss anyone who doesn't see things your way as a moron but it's been working for me.

 

[sodbuster]

I'd agree with the martial arts training. You can just look at the idiots and grin. As for the car comments, agree and amplify.... Yeah, I couldn't find a gold 72 Caddie with a fat white woman to put in it.... so I had to settle for a new car

 

[FairShake]

I don't want to sound mean here but perhaps it will come across that way. Observing your posts on this board, without even seeing your body language and tone, you reek of insecurity. I suspect that all things considered you show insecurity even more in your everyday interactions with people, especially Black boys and men.

You seem to make being a Black Conservative a very big part of your identity. You are proud of your views and have research and facts to back up your views. I imagine that everyone who gets to know you is made aware of these views at some point or another.

You don't seem to be as secure a person as you are a Black Conservative however. Sharks pick up on insecurity like blood in water. They will usually find something obvious to pick on. If it controversial it's even better.

As a White person with some liberal views I get the same thing from White men all the time. So many times it's be insinuated that I'm gay (not always as a joke either) for my support of gay marriage. I can't recall how many times "n*gger lover" has been said. To me this just shows how politics is caught up in people's identity rather than their own research. How dare a straight white American man support women, immigrants, black people, gay people, etc. I imagine it's the same on your side.

It doesn't get to me however. I have many insecurities like anyone else but my politics isn't one of them. My politics aren't a very big part of my identity just something I enjoy talking about with certain people and something I volunteer my time to. But it's not a core part of my being. Hell, my politics change all the time when new information is made accessible. I treat them like a guiding principle, not like a religion or philosophy. So I don't have the same personal stake that so many people have in them. I suspect you need to look at them for what they are rather than who you are.

 

[FairShake]

FWIW, all advice given here is sound.

A little counseling, new friends, and challenging yourself outside your box are all great ways to fight low self-esteem.

 

[Tenacity]

No, you guys are totally right.

- I have a need for external validation and praise.

- I have somewhat low self esteem

- I have a lack of internal peace

- I tend to deliberately hang out around people that I shouldn't

You guys are totally right, and I'm working to become a better man. The low self esteem just comes from an identity crisis. I mean everything I stand for in life (career, investing, being something in life) is usually against what most of my black family, friends, etc. are doing on a daily basis.

It's like I don't fit in with any "group" per say.

And I do have a need for external validation, it's like everyday I'm out trying to prove myself. My Career doesn't make this any better because we have quotas every quarter so, doesn't really matter what I did last quarter, I'm going to svck if I don't hit it again this quarter.

Plus a lot of the decisions I make on the way my car looks, the apartment I chose, etc., are really based on what I think works/gets attention from women, so yes, I look for that validation in that aspect.

I think some of it is required, while not healthy, it's required. But some of it (such as hanging around hood people) is NOT required and that needs to go.