squirrels
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2003
- Messages
- 6,628
- Reaction score
- 178
- Age
- 45
It's an issue of semantics...how you define "self-improvement" vs how I define "self-improvement".Holland said:The sad fact remains that OP is attacking something which he does not understand. Most self-improvement teachers are not people who avoid risks. These are also the teachers that are the most respected in the field of personal development.
I know what idea the OP is presenting, but I also know that his presentation is flawed. That is the reason behind my post.
If OP would've listened to any of the advice of teachers of self-improvement he would've known that taking risks is a MAJOR part of this lifestyle.
And that it includes taking risks in ALL areas of your life, not taking risks in one area so you can exclude them in others.
What he really is referring to is the whole idea of (un)certainty. The neurotic way of dealing with it is minimizing risks so he can have more certainty in the external world. The healthy way of dealing with it is taking risks and knowing that he will ultimately benefit from new experiences and lessons that will be learned. (which leads to certainty in the internal world IOW: Self-esteem/confidence)
What OP is doing here is posting a well intentioned thread to bring to notice a neurotic behavior (avoiding risks) so we won't fall into this trap (which is a good idea).
The flaw in it is that he's criticising self-improvement, which is a constructive thing.
I think it's noble to point out certain weak points in a post, so that newbies/youngsters on this site won't go around thinking that self-improvement is not a good idea.
That has nothing to do with wanting to sound smart. It has to do with an understanding that newbies/youngsters/afc's are not yet at the same level of comprehension as you and I.
Yes, self-improvement is a noble cause. So is chivalry. But you've seen what it gets you if you rely on it to dictate your actions with women. So is being a moral, upstanding member of society in general.
The problem is that most people on this forum would be better off SHEDDING self-improvement for a little while...yes, by BOTH definitions...and indulging themselves in pure risk-taking with the ladies JUST for the experience, than try to control what has become an addiction, what has taken the place of rationalization or chivalry in inhibiting them from taking risks.
If you think about it long enough, ANYTHING can become an excuse not to do something.