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Love_Hustla

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By your logic putting on clothes will not help with women, you can just sarge naked because putting on clothes would be self improvement and you don't need that.
So uh LH you do improve yourself, and it WILL help.


Hey, peacocking seems to be popular around here, perhaps sarging naked would give it a new meaning. Why should I go out and improve myself if I can go out there RIGHT NOW and take the same chances as say, two months down the road when I can bench 20lbs more? Other than that, your post has very little to do with mine I'm afraid.

LH it kinda sounds like you've been rejected a billion times and your trying to prove to yourself that was okay. The rejections probally happend BECAUSE you skipped improving yourself

My friend, failures cannot be avoided. However unlike in business, in this game, failures don't add up. Go out, take a risk, perhaps get rejected and learn something, and that's the worst case scenario. After every approach, good or bad, you start the next one with a clean slate, and hopefully, after a while, a wealth of knowledge.
 

Interceptor

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Why should I go out and improve myself if I can go out there RIGHT NOW and take the same chances as say, two months down the road when I can bench 20lbs more?
Well, not because you can bench press 20 lbs more, but perhaps you now have a much more attractive physique. If you are a skinny guy , or an obese guy that realizes time after time, that he cannot get women to even look at them, perhaps you will realize that something may need to change. Atthe evry least, one's physical appearance, and that goes for physique and clothes.
I know time and time again, skinny guys and fat guys are always on here complaining, and seeking help on why they can get female attention.





in this game, failures don't add up
Yes, they do. They add up in feelings of imadequacy and incompetence.
Thay take an emotional toll on a person when they get to the point that they're banging their head against a wall and getting nowhere. But you're advice is simply go out and do it again.
But what has changed?
Well, if he wants to be more successful then he has to change to something that works for him, and increases his chances for success.
That is called Improvement.

Go out, take a risk, perhaps get rejected and learn something, and that's the worst case scenario. After every approach, good or bad, you start the next one with a clean slate, and hopefully, after a while, a wealth of knowledge.
So basically, you're stating the obvious, and what we've been preaching here all along.
Analyze yourself, and your interactions.
Analyze your mistakes, and your liabilities.
Discover your positives, and eliminate your negatives.
Build a knowledge base to help you achieve the success you want.

Which all boils down to Self Improvement.

LH, I still believe your logic is flawed.
I think you're caught in semantics trying to say what we're saying, but not acknowledging it.

I'm done with this.
Good luck and hope you can work this out for yourself.
I mean that.
 

Holland

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The self-improvement guys are the biggest ‘AFCs’ of all! Arming yourself with bulging muscles, stylish clothing, a cool haircut, the best cologne or the most proven tactics will NOT change your success with women.
You're a tool. Do you honestly believe that chicks dig a guy who doesn't even have the self-respect to take care of his body and life?

Self-improvement is exactly what the word implies: Improvement of the Self.
Not improvement of the self because you're affraid that other people won't like you. In fact, if you knew anything about self-improvement you would've known that people who LIVE it are the last ones being concerned about other peoples opinions about them.
 

NickBe

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Holland has a point women like a guy who is confident and driven.
 

PrinceBeavis

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Love_Hustla said:
Making some exterior changes over a long period of time will not turn you into a confident, lady killer, but an insecure, fragile being whose reality rests on what others think.

You know what I was told today? That my "third chin" is now gone, and I only have two chins now.

Know how that happened? By running my fat, pathetic a$$ off nearly EVERY DAY, be it it the hot sun, or the dark night, or rain, or whatever. Whether I feel like it or not, I go.
Sometimes I can barely lift my legs, and I don't move much faster than a brisk walk. I've got to kick my own a$$ constantly to keep myself going out to do it, as well as to keep moving when I do.

So now I'm working off that second chin. It's going to take a hell of a lot of sweaty-a$$ days to do it. But I'm going to do it.

Do you think that by the time I get that one chin, it will still be a mere external change?

By the time I get there, I will have put in a ton of blood, sweat, and tears over hundreds of miles.

After all that, do you think I will waste all of that by not taking risks?

Not a single snowballs chance in hell.
 

tmpgstx

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I have yet to read some of the responses, but wanted to respond to this as well.

Luv Hustla, you are very liberal minded, correct? Not a bad thing, but alot of liberal minded people are against hard work and perseverity on the whole.

They spend alot of time bashing why you shouldn't try and/or be successful as it is seen as weak and conforming to societal elements.

I can tell you for alot of us, this is it buddy, only life we got. Improve in any and every way you can. Life is fragile. If some women don't like that we look good and make alot of money, fvck 'em!

If a woman would rather have a guy who flys-by-the-seat of his pants and plays World of Warcraft all day long, thinks he is cool and going places, then let her.

While some do for others, many do it for ourselves, really. It's funny how you improve yourself and quality of life and many times you stand alone. This is what takes balls, to get up everyday and improve your life, health etc. Making it on your own, being independent.

Knowing and improving is great, but you must apply as Bruce Lee said which is true.

Party, take un-necessary risks, have alot of sex with alot of different girls. You can find me at the gym or working for the Department of Defense. I'll be other places too, provided it is with a girl who respects advancement.
 

navyseal2101

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Let the chips fall where they may. I am a fan of the movie.
 

vagrant

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"He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life." -Muhammad Ali

I just found this earlier. Makes me want to go in the ring and be a world champion...^__^
 

Alkali

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Are you serious?
































Is he serious? Lets all stop improving ourselves to get women...

I get your point, however, you framed it in the worst way possible.
 

TheHumanist

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I get your point, but you really did put it in the worse frame possible.

There's nothing wrong with becomming a better person, but you are right that without the will to take risk, nothing will be gained (and some do use self-improvement as a cruch and never really make progress).

NickBe said:
I agree that self improvement is a fruitless endeavor much like masturbation but in todays world everybody is trying to self improve. If you do not follow the trend you will become an outcast and the outcast never gets laid.
WTF?? Can you explain what's wrong with becomming a better person?
 
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Love_Hustla said:
Risk can be defined as, 'The possibility of suffering harm or loss; danger.' By pure definition, risk seems like something better avoided.

A man can certainly lead a comfortable life by avoiding risks in life. Look around, these men are everywhere. They are perhaps the hardest working, most honest men on the planet. These men are generally sincere, polite and cautious by nature. They try to please everyone and work tirelessly to ‘become the best man they can be.’ Through their life style, these men effectively avoid all embarrassing or uncomfortable situations. Sounds great right? You wouldn’t be able to tell looking at them, but these very same men maintain masturbation streaks that Cal Ripken Jr. would be envious of. These men constantly improve themselves, falsely hoping that one day they will become worthy of the beautiful women around them. With that mindset gentlemen, you are doomed to fail.

Director, Fred Wilcox, once said, ‘Progress always involves risks. You can't steal second base and keep your foot on first.’ Great rewards come with great risks. To get what you want, you are eventually going to have to overcome your fears, and put yourself out in the open. Everyday, opportunities arise for you. Similarly, everyday more doors are slammed in your face as you fail to take action because you're not 'ready' or 'prepared' to take the risk.

The reason I write this isn’t because of the ‘AFC’ posts I see all over the boards that the older members groan about. No, it isn’t these ‘AFCs’ that I’m worried about. The ones who I’m worried about are the members who are respected around here. The ones who preach self-improvement. Make your voice better, get in better shape, improve your posture etc. These men are WORSHIPPED for this thinking. (ex. Pooks 'Skinny Guy') Well I’m pleased to present you with the long-overdue truth gentlemen:

SELF IMPROVEMENT IS THE COWARDS WAY OF AVOIDING RISK!!!

Do you understand yet? The self-improvement guys are the biggest ‘AFCs’ of all! Arming yourself with bulging muscles, stylish clothing, a cool haircut, the best cologne or the most proven tactics will NOT change your success with women. Self-improvement IS masturbation. (For the record, not a fan of the movie, the quote however is ingenious) You will NEVER be satisfied with the results you achieve through self-improvement. Any and ALL improvements in success with women ‘due to your improved style’ are strictly a form of ‘PLACEBO EFFECT’ on your confidence to take risks. Think about it, I will bet a large sum of money that noone on this board has EVER got laid without risking getting burned, embarassed, whatever. Hell, I'll put up my house!

YOUR MUSCLES WILL NOT GET HER TO APPROACH..
YOUR VOICE WILL NOT GET HER TO LIKE YOU.
YOUR HAIRCUT WILL NOT GET HER TO KISS YOU.
YOUR (Insert self-improvement myth here) WILL NOT GET HER IN YOUR BED.

Improving your look to a ‘10’ does not substitute approaching that HB. Building up your ego is setting you up for failure. YOU are going to have to take the risks eventually. Why spend weeks, months, or even years learning the DJ Bible, getting big, getting rich (you get the idea) when you can simply go out and take the same risks you will be taking in a year NOW. I can guarantee you that you will be waiting a life time. START TODAY! Go out and take a risk, you won’t be disappointed. Ask that girl out. Don’t wait, cause if you’re going to hesitate; she’s mine.
You know, with that whole bigass preacher post you MIGHT've made someone think you were some wise ass girl getting Guru or something with great advice.

YOU are the AFC because you STILL are focusing on the women, so YOU STILL LOSE.

The point of the site is Self-Improvement for ONE'S OWN SAKE, for the sake of BEING A MAN. It helps as a side-effect to get more women, but it is NOT for the sake of getting more women. And the funny part is, while you're pointing out that risks are everything, and how taking risks is what'll get you women, it is actually emphasized OVER again in the Bible and by those "respected" guys that helped write it, as a SMALL PART of the Self-Improvement process. Looks like YOU didn't read enough of Pook's posts, you only read the skinny guy post and claimed he was all about self improvement and not taking risks. YOU REALLY NEED to read the DJ Bible over again. I think we all do.



EDIT: I think I just got what your post might've meant, but you put it in a BAD way, my apologies for all that crap I wrote above if it's off base.
 

squirrels

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The original poster is correct.

The rest of you...just don't like to hear it.

Self-improvement DOES increase one's social value, there's no question. But social value alone doesn't get women. You can be the best-looking, most intelligent, wealthiest guy in the world and that alone will NOT get you laid if you don't have the balls to go and talk to women.

A lot of you guys are addicted to self-improvement. It's a better addiction than drugs or alcohol, yes. But at the same time, each hit doesn't make you feel better about yourself, it just makes you want more when you come home from the bar alone yet AGAIN, wondering why all the women can't see how wonderful you are, even though you didn't talk to ANY of them. And the only solution most of you come up with is, "I'm not good enough! Must...improve...further..."

It's not that you're not good enough for women. It's that most, if not ALL, women aren't good enough for YOU. They know this...and still you idolize them and supplicate to them by trying to "improve yourself" to "make yourself worthy" of them. What are you making yourself worthy of?

Somewhere along the line, all this "self-improvement" BS has caked up so thick that this site has become entranced with it. And yet out the other corner of our mouths, we're constantly talking about how poor the quality of women is out there. So if women are all just dumb little grown up children with yummy vag!nas, then WHY do we have to improve ourselves to some unattainable standard to get some??

All most of this self-improvement stuff is is a more noble way that chumps have found to put women up on a pedestal and try to WIN their oh-so-angelic graces by making themselves "worthy".

Women are HUMAN just like you. They don't LIKE being put on pedestals. They MOCK men who put them on pedestals because they TOO are less-than-perfect. When a guy feels like he has to become some elite male to win a woman over, that guy is recognized as WEAK in self-esteem.

Now this isn't to say that women dont' appreciate ambition. They like it like they like big cawks, senses of humor, and flashy cars. But that alone WON'T get her into bed with you. You think you're the only guy in the world with ambition? Hardly...there are plenty of men out there who want to make more of themselves, and they look better than you, have a bigger bankroll, and probably have more interesting personalities to boot.

Self-improvement is a noble goal. Do it for your own peace of mind and pride. Don't use it as another cheap ploy to pull chicks...all that does is lower it to the level of a parlor trick.
 

Holland

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Self-improvement includes improving your attraction skills with women and taking them home.
Self-improvement = going beyond your current capabilities
Self-improvement = going into the unknown
Self-improvement = taking risks

OP = someone who has never understood the concept of self-improvement and what the essence of it is.

Lesson Ten

Why did some guys succeed with women without even trying while other guys fail with women no matter how hard they try? Why did these guys, seemingly arrogant, get women? Why did these jerks succeed where he, the nice young guy, failed?

“Because you’re a wimp!” answered the jerks. But the Nice Guy responded in a bashful tone, “But I am myself. I will never change for anybody.”

But this Nice Guy wasn’t receiving any dates, either.

“Haha, you are such a wimp!” said the jerks. The hot girls would laugh behind his back, “What a desperate chump!”

Desperate! Why was he acting as if the women were better then he? Why should he win her, let her win him! Why buy her gifts? Let her buy him gifts! This new attitude got him all the dates he needed. But why did he not adopt that mindset before?

He remembered the past voices in his head. What did they say? Let us hear them:

“You do not have muscles. What makes you think you can get hot women?”

“You are not that smart. Why do you think you can get the pick of the group?”

“You do not have a high paying job! Why do you think you deserve a hottie?”

And the loudest most annoying voice: “You are not as cute or handsome as the other guys. Therefore, you do not deserve a hot chick.”

Alas! He knew he was not Prince Charming so he did not act like one. But now he realized that Prince Charming is not the producer of the confidant thought; to the contrary, the confident thought is the producer of the Prince Charming. In order to be successful in the world, you must be successful in your mind.

“That is the secret,” he said during his revelation. For…

“As you think, you shall become.”

“And so long as you think, so long you remain free.”

“But Pook! What are you, a self-improvement seminar? Where is the woman in this?”

“Women come and go, but YOU are forever. The focus must be on you. What do YOU want in a girl? What do YOU want to do for a date? What type of relationship are YOU looking for? It is a machine to the ONE. You push the button and out she comes.”

“But Pook! What if she does not like your date ideas? What if she is different from what you are looking for?”

“Then she is not for you! The thing girls hate is when you cannot have a date idea (which happens to guys because they want to please her without thinking of themselves). You have a series of hobbies and tastes. If she likes your date ideas, then that is good. If she doesn’t, then go get another girl. There are billions out there.”

“But… that is… rejection!”

Pook slapped the young man. “Only if you place the focus on the woman. If you do that, then you actually believe it is women who are making the choice, not you. There is no rejection; you are merely finding out if she has good taste. After all, she is looking for a guy that fits her interests and tastes. If she doesn’t like you for whatever reason, let her! And thank her for doing so!”

“Thank her?”

“Which would you prefer, a woman who collapses her own interests for the sakes of yours merely to have a boyfriend or a woman who likes you because of you!?”

“Because of our tastes, our compatibility, runs parallel!”

“Indeed! Now think back to your Nice Guy days, those suffering days of endless agreement and non-confrontation. What service did you do to help find compatibility?”

“Alas, no!” The young man’s face turned white as he realized the utter disgust he was in his old ways. “I am so ashamed!”

“You’re not the only one,” said the Pook. “Look into the valley! Look at how Man has fallen!”

And the young man looked into the valley. There he saw hordes of Nice Guys throwing themselves toward an idol, the golden woman statue. Flowers, chocolate, bad poetry, and declarations of love were all tossed at the statue. Thunder then exploded.

Then, out of nowhere in graceful light and melodies of enchanted harps, appeared the Don Juan.

“What is he doing here?” muttered Pook. “This was not scheduled in the post.” [Sosuave Note: Indeed! The Don Juan spirit can appear in any post whenever he wishes!]

The young man called out, “Speak spirit!”

“I will call out to it.” Pook cupped his mouth. “Where from did you come!?”

The spirit stood there, silent, with a confident air of invulnerability.

Then Pook yelled, “Oh speak perturbed spirit! Speak thy truth!”

And the spirit, in great anger of how Men have turned into beastly chumps, threw the tablets he held at the fleeing Nice Guys. He spoke these words then vanished in a fountain of light:

You cannot be yourself without truthfully seeing yourself.
You cannot sacrifice character for joyfulness without ultimately destroying happiness.
You cannot control the situation, but you can control yourself, your emotions, and your life.
You cannot have women love you until you love yourself.
You cannot grasp the female nature until you grasp your male nature.
You cannot win her until you focus on her winning you.
You cannot fully know the principles of this website until you leave it.
You cannot obtain love by giving yours away for free.
You cannot fulfill your desire by letting it trump your integrity.
You cannot be yourself by denying your dreams and what it takes to achieve them.
 

ToughLove

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it IS AFC'ish to think "oh man, i see an hb10 in front of me, but I am not going to approach her because I am still busy working on my self improvement.....maybe in a few months when i have improved, I will talk to her"

the guy who thinks like that every day of his life IS the biggest chump

GREAT POST
 

squirrels

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Holland said:
Self-improvement includes improving your attraction skills with women and taking them home.
Self-improvement = going beyond your current capabilities
Self-improvement = going into the unknown
Self-improvement = taking risks

OP = someone who has never understood the concept of self-improvement and what the essence of it is.
It's amazing how many people will argue over the semantics of words and phrases to try to sound smart instead of taking the idea that everyone KNOWS is being presented and try to apply it.

ToughLove said:
it IS AFC'ish to think "oh man, i see an hb10 in front of me, but I am not going to approach her because I am still busy working on my self improvement.....maybe in a few months when i have improved, I will talk to her"

the guy who thinks like that every day of his life IS the biggest chump

GREAT POST
Zactly.
 

MagnuM

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Love_Hustla said:
Risk can be defined as, 'The possibility of suffering harm or loss; danger.' By pure definition, risk seems like something better avoided.

A man can certainly lead a comfortable life by avoiding risks in life. Look around, these men are everywhere. They are perhaps the hardest working, most honest men on the planet. These men are generally sincere, polite and cautious by nature. They try to please everyone and work tirelessly to ‘become the best man they can be.’ Through their life style, these men effectively avoid all embarrassing or uncomfortable situations. Sounds great right? You wouldn’t be able to tell looking at them, but these very same men maintain masturbation streaks that Cal Ripken Jr. would be envious of. These men constantly improve themselves, falsely hoping that one day they will become worthy of the beautiful women around them. With that mindset gentlemen, you are doomed to fail.

Director, Fred Wilcox, once said, ‘Progress always involves risks. You can't steal second base and keep your foot on first.’ Great rewards come with great risks. To get what you want, you are eventually going to have to overcome your fears, and put yourself out in the open. Everyday, opportunities arise for you. Similarly, everyday more doors are slammed in your face as you fail to take action because you're not 'ready' or 'prepared' to take the risk.

The reason I write this isn’t because of the ‘AFC’ posts I see all over the boards that the older members groan about. No, it isn’t these ‘AFCs’ that I’m worried about. The ones who I’m worried about are the members who are respected around here. The ones who preach self-improvement. Make your voice better, get in better shape, improve your posture etc. These men are WORSHIPPED for this thinking. (ex. Pooks 'Skinny Guy') Well I’m pleased to present you with the long-overdue truth gentlemen:

SELF IMPROVEMENT IS THE COWARDS WAY OF AVOIDING RISK!!!

Do you understand yet? The self-improvement guys are the biggest ‘AFCs’ of all! Arming yourself with bulging muscles, stylish clothing, a cool haircut, the best cologne or the most proven tactics will NOT change your success with women. Self-improvement IS masturbation. (For the record, not a fan of the movie, the quote however is ingenious) You will NEVER be satisfied with the results you achieve through self-improvement. Any and ALL improvements in success with women ‘due to your improved style’ are strictly a form of ‘PLACEBO EFFECT’ on your confidence to take risks. Think about it, I will bet a large sum of money that noone on this board has EVER got laid without risking getting burned, embarassed, whatever. Hell, I'll put up my house!

YOUR MUSCLES WILL NOT GET HER TO APPROACH..
YOUR VOICE WILL NOT GET HER TO LIKE YOU.
YOUR HAIRCUT WILL NOT GET HER TO KISS YOU.
YOUR (Insert self-improvement myth here) WILL NOT GET HER IN YOUR BED.

Improving your look to a ‘10’ does not substitute approaching that HB. Building up your ego is setting you up for failure. YOU are going to have to take the risks eventually. Why spend weeks, months, or even years learning the DJ Bible, getting big, getting rich (you get the idea) when you can simply go out and take the same risks you will be taking in a year NOW. I can guarantee you that you will be waiting a life time. START TODAY! Go out and take a risk, you won’t be disappointed. Ask that girl out. Don’t wait, cause if you’re going to hesitate; she’s mine.
What are you trying to prove? You've made 5 posts and you start rambling like you own the site and are trying to sell some sort of product. Knock it off.
 

Victory Unlimited

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Everything in life is A RISK.

There are no real GAURRANTEES in life. But the one thing that I have found to be true MORE times than not is THIS:

FORTUNE FAVORS THE BOLD.


March on.
 

squirrels

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MagnuM said:
What are you trying to prove? You've made 5 posts and you start rambling like you own the site and are trying to sell some sort of product. Knock it off.
Damn...I keep forgetting that the degree of a man's success with women is dependent primarily on how many posts he has on an Internet message board.

I should be pulling b!tches like Brad Pitt now. :D
 

Holland

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It's amazing how many people will argue over the semantics of words and phrases to try to sound smart instead of taking the idea that everyone KNOWS is being presented and try to apply it.
The sad fact remains that OP is attacking something which he does not understand. Most self-improvement teachers are not people who avoid risks. These are also the teachers that are the most respected in the field of personal development.

I know what idea the OP is presenting, but I also know that his presentation is flawed. That is the reason behind my post.

If OP would've listened to any of the advice of teachers of self-improvement he would've known that taking risks is a MAJOR part of this lifestyle.
And that it includes taking risks in ALL areas of your life, not taking risks in one area so you can exclude them in others.

What he really is referring to is the whole idea of (un)certainty. The neurotic way of dealing with it is minimizing risks so he can have more certainty in the external world. The healthy way of dealing with it is taking risks and knowing that he will ultimately benefit from new experiences and lessons that will be learned. (which leads to certainty in the internal world IOW: Self-esteem/confidence)

What OP is doing here is posting a well intentioned thread to bring to notice a neurotic behavior (avoiding risks) so we won't fall into this trap (which is a good idea).
The flaw in it is that he's criticising self-improvement, which is a constructive thing.

I think it's noble to point out certain weak points in a post, so that newbies/youngsters on this site won't go around thinking that self-improvement is not a good idea.

That has nothing to do with wanting to sound smart. It has to do with an understanding that newbies/youngsters/afc's are not yet at the same level of comprehension as you and I.
 
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