Good insight!
My redpill on this one was this - I met a girl back at university and I ate her pvssy, she had multiple orgasms (apparently), and then said "omg, I want you to do this to me every day. Your tongue is amazing."
I never saw her again.
Long story short, we were meant to meet a few days later. She blew me off for friends. We re-arranged a week later. She didn't respond to my confirmation text on the day we were supposed to meet. She wrote me something half-assed the next day. I didn't bother contacting her again.
And, like you, I've had countless experiences where nutting was my only goal and the women fell over themselves in a love stupor.
I think being selfish in bed communicates to women that they aren't your priority - which they can't help being turned on by.
Eating pvssy and generally trying to please a woman (in any way).....we've seen how women respond to that. Rather badly.