Back on the prowl after 14 month monogamy. Seeking the missing keys

[SargeMaximus]

Hey guys, hope everyone has had a good year despite the covid craziness.

My year was good, better now that my gf and I broke up. Long story short we hit it off amazingly. Sex more times than I could keep up with to the point where I had to tell her "no" repeatedly if only to save my **** from being destroyed. We moved in together in march and things immediately changed and went downhill. The situation got increasingly unhappy and finally fell apart. Now I'm free and feel great about it.

That said, I find myself craving more.

I've never been good at "game" and went my own way. Did my own thing that often flew in the face of what pua's would say. In short: I do what works for me, but I feel I'm not as effective as I could be. It's a catch 22 because doing pua has never worked for me while doing my own thing hasn't gotten me the full results I want.

I've come to this forum hoping I can learn how to increase my natural game more effectively and hopefully stop doing whatever is killing things for me sometimes.

Thanks for reading.

 

[Serenity]

Welcome to SoSuave!

Being authentic will be a major advantage over trying to fit into a PUA style that doesn't suit you, mainly the fact that being natural takes no effort compared to trying to be someone you're not.

You'll just have to develop yourself more to find what works even better for you. Remember though that you can't get them all, but you can probably improve your success rate a bit more.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Welcome to SoSuave!

Being authentic will be a major advantage over trying to fit into a PUA style that doesn't suit you, mainly the fact that being natural takes no effort compared to trying to be someone you're not.

You'll just have to develop yourself more to find what works even better for you. Remember though that you can't get them all, but you can probably improve your success rate a bit more.

Thanks for the reply. Yes this is my hunch as well, that I can probably improve my success. But I need insight and need to know how things like attraction and **** works.

For instance, a few years ago I was living with a woman who was married. They were poly and invited me to stay at their house. Me and the woman had sex every night while the husband was left out for a few weeks. I got the wife off (made her ***) multiple times every time and our sex lasted an hour most times yet she had a SMOKING hot sister who was with a guy who couldn't last long at all yet she stayed with him and never seemed interested in me. I also noticed how the more I seemed to try and please women in bed, the more they would be repulsed by me and the relationship would never last.

My last relationship I was so selfish I never made her *** except once and she always wanted sex! Like so much I had to say no and try and give my d!ck a break! So I began to think being selfish was key and sexual performance was actually a beta trait because if you were alpha you wouldn't need to please a woman, she would want to please you.

But I need insight to see if my theories are correct. Is there any science or "pua knowledge" that validates my experience?

 

[Serenity]

Sex isn't all about you or all about her, it's give and take. You're also not the only factor here. Could be the woman from your last relationship took great pleasure in watching you cvm so your strategy there worked fine, but there are for sure women who absolutely resent a selfish man in bed.

Unless the woman is very selfish in bed she won't derive much pleasure from you taking forever to cvm. Just like you wanted to see the woman cvm, she probably wanted to see you cvm but it took too long because you only focused on her. Just like men think they're bad in bed because a woman takes forever to reach climax instead of quickly because you're so hot, women think like this too.

It's not about being alpha or beta, you should please the woman in bed, but you should also allow yourself to be pleased as watching the other person cvm is part of the pleasure. You can do each other simultaneously or you can take turns. Communication also helps, whether it be verbal before, during or after or non-verbal during the act.

But I need insight and need to know how things like attraction and **** works.

Need more information about what sort of obstacles you've faced regarding this.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Sex isn't all about you or all about her, it's give and take. You're also not the only factor here. Could be the woman from your last relationship took great pleasure in watching you cvm so your strategy there worked fine, but there are for sure women who absolutely resent a selfish man in bed.

Unless the woman is very selfish in bed she won't derive much pleasure from you taking forever to cvm. Just like you wanted to see the woman cvm, she probably wanted to see you cvm but it took too long because you only focused on her. Just like men think they're bad in bed because a woman takes forever to reach climax instead of quickly because you're so hot, women think like this too.

It's not about being alpha or beta, you should please the woman in bed, but you should also allow yourself to be pleased as watching the other person cvm is part of the pleasure. You can do each other simultaneously or you can take turns. Communication also helps, whether it be verbal before, during or after or non-verbal during the act.

I do appreciate the insight I've highlighted. That could be the case and I'm wrong. But I do feel like every time I've made making a girl *** a priority things ended very abruptly whereas when I made my own pleasure a priority things lasted longer in terms of the relationship.

Need more information about what sort of obstacles you've faced regarding this.

Lots of obstacles. Hard to choose which ones to focus on. Mostly I get ghosted after sex or before I can meet a woman. As I've stated, making girls cvm is not an issue. I may get "needy" but imo I'm just communicative. I don't fall apart and pine over lost girls, but it is a trend that I'd like to minimize as it's better to continue to fvck a girl than to find a new one all over again

Other issues I have is how to pass **** tests. I generally don't try and all the content from pua makes me cringe and I can't bring myself to actually make the effort to "pass" or even try. It just feels so disingenuous and I don't want getting girls to feel like work I want it to be enjoyable.

I'd say the main issue is just that: how to get more and hotter girls without sacrificing my core self and without it feeling like a chore. Life's too short.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

Firstly, welcome. Secondly Merry Christmas if you celebrate such things. Thirdly stick around and read & learn & ask. The community has a great consensus of advice and you’ll find you are not the only man seeking to learn & figure it out. It’s a process.

There are many perspectives here that transcend age & cultural background because men and women relate very similarly across the board. So you’ll see yourself and posts that you can use in various threads.

The search feature is pretty awesome too. You can search topics, contributors, etc. and you’ll find lots of information.

But you won’t find out how to be your best you. That you will have to sort out through trial & error like everyone else. Just set aside any fear and take action. Apply things that seem congruent with who you are and skip things that don’t...

One thing I’ll offer is less is more. If you are too communicative you’ll look too easy or desperate (never a good look) but if you don’t communicate at all you’ll seem stoic or unattainable...so you’ll need to find a balance.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Thanks for the reply. Yes this is my hunch as well, that I can probably improve my success. But I need insight and need to know how things like attraction and **** works.

For instance, a few years ago I was living with a woman who was married. They were poly and invited me to stay at their house. Me and the woman had sex every night while the husband was left out for a few weeks. I got the wife off (made her ***) multiple times every time and our sex lasted an hour most times yet she had a SMOKING hot sister who was with a guy who couldn't last long at all yet she stayed with him and never seemed interested in me. I also noticed how the more I seemed to try and please women in bed, the more they would be repulsed by me and the relationship would never last.

My last relationship I was so selfish I never made her *** except once and she always wanted sex! Like so much I had to say no and try and give my d!ck a break! So I began to think being selfish was key and sexual performance was actually a beta trait because if you were alpha you wouldn't need to please a woman, she would want to please you.

But I need insight to see if my theories are correct. Is there any science or "pua knowledge" that validates my experience?

Dam

 

[Serenity]

I don't want getting girls to feel like work I want it to be enjoyable.

I'd say the main issue is just that: how to get more and hotter girls without sacrificing my core self and without it feeling like a chore. Life's too short.

I only know of one way to do that. Stop caring about winning, loosen up and experiment. I had a lot of fun doing what I wanted, I didn't always get the girl, but I learned a lot and it was of course fun. Even the things you don't think will work, do it anyways and see what happens, surprisingly some things I thought wouldn't work in a million years turned out to actually work.

Don't get too invested in getting the girl, focus on how you can have fun right now. What often stifles us, makes us lose the girl and feels like a chore is when we start controlling ourselves because we think that will improve our chances. Maybe it will, maybe it won't, but it's fvcking boring so most likely it won't. What you want to do is just be 100% you, no matter what reaction you get, be unapologetic.

Getting girls is as enjoyable as YOU make it, as long as you fully accept you can't get them all.

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

I also noticed how the more I seemed to try and please women in bed, the more they would be repulsed by me and the relationship would never last.

My last relationship I was so selfish I never made her *** except once and she always wanted sex! Like so much I had to say no and try and give my d!ck a break! So I began to think being selfish was key and sexual performance was actually a beta trait because if you were alpha you wouldn't need to please a woman, she would want to please you.

But I need insight to see if my theories are correct. Is there any science or "pua knowledge" that validates my experience?

Can u elaborate more on these experiences? I tend to feel guilty sometimes when I don't go down on a woman.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Thank you all for the kind words. Hope you all had an awesome Christmas!

One thing I’ll offer is less is more. If you are too communicative you’ll look too easy or desperate (never a good look) but if you don’t communicate at all you’ll seem stoic or unattainable...so you’ll need to find a balance.

Yes I used to opt for little to no communication and got nowhere. Being more communicative and even "needy" has helped me get laid. Blackdragon calls it "needy alpha" and since I was a full beta (and being non-needy wasn't working), I opted to allow some neediness. Seems to work but I am definitely losing girls to it sometimes so calibration is needed. (no pun intended)

Can u elaborate more on these experiences? I tend to feel guilty sometimes when I don't go down on a woman.

Yes basically I could tell the more I tried to please a woman the more I was entering into a sort of "sex slave" i.e. submissive role. This is the rolke the female is supposed to have. And since accepting this, I have women wanting me to "use them" for my pleasure. Literal words from the texting I'm having with them.

I've not gone down on a woman since I made this discovery though I do enjoy finger banging a girl to orgasm and do so regularly. But when it comes to sex, I just put my own pleasure as the reason I am there.

 

[Desdinova]

I've come to this forum hoping I can learn how to increase my natural game more effectively and hopefully stop doing whatever is killing things for me sometimes.

Feel free to post your experiences and allow us to critique the things you've done. There's never anything wrong with trying to improve your skills.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

Hey guys, hope everyone has had a good year despite the covid craziness.

My year was good, better now that my gf and I broke up. Long story short we hit it off amazingly. Sex more times than I could keep up with to the point where I had to tell her "no" repeatedly if only to save my **** from being destroyed. We moved in together in march and things immediately changed and went downhill. The situation got increasingly unhappy and finally fell apart. Now I'm free and feel great about it.

That said, I find myself craving more.

I've never been good at "game" and went my own way. Did my own thing that often flew in the face of what pua's would say. In short: I do what works for me, but I feel I'm not as effective as I could be. It's a catch 22 because doing pua has never worked for me while doing my own thing hasn't gotten me the full results I want.

I've come to this forum hoping I can learn how to increase my natural game more effectively and hopefully stop doing whatever is killing things for me sometimes.

Thanks for reading.

Like @Serenity said (who has given me a lot of great advice after recently separating from my wife!) just be authentic. Being yourself insures you will be comfortable, confident, and women can smell when you are 'faking' it.

Congrats on the break up! haha

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

Yes basically I could tell the more I tried to please a woman the more I was entering into a sort of "sex slave" i.e. submissive role. This is the rolke the female is supposed to have. And since accepting this, I have women wanting me to "use them" for my pleasure. Literal words from the texting I'm having with them.

I've not gone down on a woman since I made this discovery though I do enjoy finger banging a girl to orgasm and do so regularly. But when it comes to sex, I just put my own pleasure as the reason I am there.

Wow so u basically don't ever eat them out and they still come back for more because they want to be "used by you"? I've had this experience too. But I've also had other experiences where the girl wants me to go down on her and kind of complains if I don't do it. I guess it depends on how u set up the frame initially. Usually with girls I would eat out, they would be hotter and thus more used to being in control. I wonder what would happen if I just flipped it on these women. Going to have to experiment and find out...

 

[TheNewStyle123]

Wow so u basically don't ever eat them out and they still come back for more because they want to be "used by you"? I've had this experience too. But I've also had other experiences where the girl wants me to go down on her and kind of complains if I don't do it. I guess it depends on how u set up the frame initially. Usually with girls I would eat out, they would be hotter and thus more used to being in control. I wonder what would happen if I just flipped it on these women. Going to have to experiment and find out...

I'm with @SpartanWarrior77 I don't mind eating chicks out in the first place to get them in the mood. In my experience having her turned on usually makes things better - both on her end and in my mind because I know she is also enjoying (hopefully) the sex as well. I notice I get more turned on when SHE is turned on because it feels more genuine. But hey, every female is different. I'll have to experiment with this too...

 

[SargeMaximus]

Disclaimer: I haven't gotten girls above a 7 yet, so that may be a factor. But I have noticed that the more I embrace my natural and selfish self, the hotter the girls get.

Like @Serenity said (who has given me a lot of great advice after recently separating from my wife!) just be authentic. Being yourself insures you will be comfortable, confident, and women can smell when you are 'faking' it.

Congrats on the break up! haha

Lol thanks! It was truly liberating. And I totally agree, women know when you're faking it hence why pua hasnt worked for me.

I'm with @SpartanWarrior77 I don't mind eating chicks out in the first place to get them in the mood. In my experience having her turned on usually makes things better - both on her end and in my mind because I know she is also enjoying (hopefully) the sex as well. I notice I get more turned on when SHE is turned on because it feels more genuine. But hey, every female is different. I'll have to experiment with this too...

It could also be that I don't actually like eating *****. More points for the "be genuine" theory.

Wow so u basically don't ever eat them out and they still come back for more because they want to be "used by you"? I've had this experience too. But I've also had other experiences where the girl wants me to go down on her and kind of complains if I don't do it. I guess it depends on how u set up the frame initially. Usually with girls I would eat out, they would be hotter and thus more used to being in control. I wonder what would happen if I just flipped it on these women. Going to have to experiment and find out...

Yes that is what I'm saying. I'm also saying that in my experience eating a woman out has put her in the dominant role/vibe. Not what I want.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Feel free to post your experiences and allow us to critique the things you've done. There's never anything wrong with trying to improve your skills.

Thanks I will be doing that moving forward for sure.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Hey guys, hope everyone has had a good year despite the covid craziness.

My year was good, better now that my gf and I broke up. Long story short we hit it off amazingly. Sex more times than I could keep up with to the point where I had to tell her "no" repeatedly if only to save my **** from being destroyed. We moved in together in march and things immediately changed and went downhill. The situation got increasingly unhappy and finally fell apart. Now I'm free and feel great about it.

That said, I find myself craving more.

I've never been good at "game" and went my own way. Did my own thing that often flew in the face of what pua's would say. In short: I do what works for me, but I feel I'm not as effective as I could be. It's a catch 22 because doing pua has never worked for me while doing my own thing hasn't gotten me the full results I want.
sometimes.

Thanks for reading.

this is a old Tony Robbins matra. try everything. test. disregard what don't work. game is sales. it's a numbers game. handle your ****. Approach. Pull. Learn game. Acquire competence. A handful of sets everyday. Get past AA.

I am a die hard rsd man but this forum is better. Lots of good lads. I argue most want the one girl and the white picket fence. Maybe kids.

I wish I could link old rsd threads. Some of the posts are money. A cheeky **** by the handle ambi would flirt and charm girls while in a ltr. It keeps skill sharps. IMHO monogamy is not in our nature. Women at best are serial monogamy and men are as monogamous as they are able to pull. Given men don't approach or pull, a lot are forced into monogamy to get play.

Welcome back. Happy holidays.

 

[SargeMaximus]

this is a old Tony Robbins matra. try everything. test. disregard what don't work. game is sales. it's a numbers game. handle your ****. Approach. Pull. Learn game. Acquire competence. A handful of sets everyday. Get past AA.

I am a die hard rsd man but this forum is better. Lots of good lads. I argue most want the one girl and the white picket fence. Maybe kids.

I wish I could link old rsd threads. Some of the posts are money. A cheeky **** by the handle ambi would flirt and charm girls while in a ltr. It keeps skill sharps. IMHO monogamy is not in our nature. Women at best are serial monogamy and men are as monogamous as they are able to pull. Given men don't approach or pull, a lot are forced into monogamy to get play.

Welcome back. Happy holidays.

Yeah I used to approach tons of women. In 2015 over 200 in the span of a few months. But they never went anywhere. I learned that unless you have the right form or "game", it doesn't matter the numbers.

Contrast to today I went to a girl's house for the first time after meeting her months ago with my ex (but back then she was my current gf). We were gonna have a threesome but gf got cold feet. Tonight I finally fvcked her with no resistance. She was waiting for me on her bed in nothing but panties. I came super quick after making her squirt twice with my fingers.

Then we talked for a while till I began to get hard again then I ****ed her proper. Didn't cvm the last time. She was only a 6.5 tho. I prolly lasted 15-25 mins that second time.

Contrast that with a hot asian I saw in the supermarket afterwards with a homeless looking guy and two kids. Makes me wonder what I'm missing.

 

[Serenity]

Yeah I used to approach tons of women. In 2015 over 200 in the span of a few months. But they never went anywhere. I learned that unless you have the right form or "game", it doesn't matter the numbers.

Maybe what you were missing was experimentation. I don't know if this is the case, but you can't expect a different result if you just did the same thing over and over. To get good you must improvise, learn and adapt constantly. It doesn't matter if it's 200 or 2000 approaches if it's the same routine, on average you'll get the same results. To experiment is to try something that you may not even know whether works or not, only way to find out is to try it.

I really enjoy trying out unconventional ways, more often than I expected with positive results. Sometimes even trying to fail, only to fail at failing simply because I was having fun doing it and that got people interested. I find it amusing to do and say atypical things to see how they react to it, really breaks up the monotony of dull guys who "approach" with simple introduction followed by asking a billion boring as fvck questions. I just straight to finding their buttons and start pushing them all to see what happens, just for the fun of it.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Yeah I used to approach tons of women. In 2015 over 200 in the span of a few months. But they never went anywhere. I learned that unless you have the right form or "game", it doesn't matter the numbers.

My mates and I would go down to Ibiza. Tons of spring breakers. I can go approach till I pull. The problem is that sunk cost. You can't get time back. Atm I think the London model is solid especially when lockdown global pandemic.

Contrast to today I went to a girl's house for the first time after meeting her months ago with my ex (but back then she was my current gf). We were gonna have a threesome but gf got cold feet. Tonight I finally fvcked her with no resistance. She was waiting for me on her bed in nothing but panties. I came super quick after making her squirt twice with my fingers.

Then we talked for a while till I began to get hard again then I ****ed her proper. Didn't cvm the last time. She was only a 6.5 tho. I prolly lasted 15-25 mins that second time.

Contrast that with a hot asian I saw in the supermarket afterwards with a homeless looking guy and two kids. Makes me wonder what I'm missing.

If you are crushing and pulling in pandemic, you are doing alright assuming she's semi decent. Enjoy the decline. Pillage what you can.