Are Dating Apps really that bad right now

[CornbreadFed]

I haven't been on the apps in over 2 years, so I haven't experienced any of the BS recently. However, I was getting lucky off the apps from the beginning stages of Tinder and basically lived off the apps until 2 years ago. I found it hard to believe that men could suffer on the apps because I had success, and I even saw normie men have success of it. Most of the men that couldn't get laid off apps were just over-entitled incels that were either lying on the internet to gain attention or just suffered from self-sabotage. The other cases were guys that simply aged out of their dating prime times in the apps and thought that dating would always be like they were in their twenties. Sorry, your average stable minded 18–27-year-old girl is not going to be interested in some 30 plus guy that has nothing to bring to the table other than his penis. Aside from all this, are the dating apps literally unusable or just full of more men with victim mindsets?

 

[jamesfromhouston]

I haven't been on the apps in over 2 years, so I haven't experienced any of the BS recently. However, I was getting lucky off the apps from the beginning stages of Tinder and basically lived off the apps until 2 years ago. I found it hard to believe that men could suffer on the apps because I had success, and I even saw normie men have success of it. Most of the men that couldn't get laid off apps were just over-entitled incels that were either lying on the internet to gain attention or just suffered from self-sabotage. The other cases were guys that simply aged out of their dating prime times in the apps and thought that dating would always be like they were in their twenties. Sorry, your average stable minded 18–27-year-old girl is not going to be interested in some 30 plus guy that has nothing to bring to the table other than his penis. Aside from all this, are the dating apps literally unusable or just full of more men with victim mindsets?

As someone who has used all the dating apps over the past 10 years, the short answer is: yes.

The long but concise answer, yes because:
- app women are becoming more entitled year on year (perhaps the abundance + critical mass of bp men and simps on dating app)
- it's hard to screen the looks of app women nowadays because photo filter tech has improved so much
- the amount of catfishes, fake accounts, gold diggers, time wasters have increased
- app women are much more jaded now because of all the f-ckboys, players and just general fem culture nowadays
- in addition to being jaded, when you meet them, app women seem and feel so ran through
- *a recent trend I've noticed with app women is the formation of social media groups where they screenshot and share profiles and "tea" about each guy, which plays into the entitlement but may also lead to "man hating" for those of us who are successful on dating apps

(The above has just been my direct experience + fyi I've even paid for premium services over the years).

I've been getting much less matches and/or matches that stop replying or just ghost in recent years. I still get lays from dating apps occasionally but the results have DEFINITELY decreased over the years despite the objective increase in my own SMV (health, looks, job, finance, etc).

Edit: I should add I noticed that a lot of women have also gone off dating apps, especially attractive ones, even the women are getting tired of dating apps.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Too many stereotypes and cliches have been established and both sexes are starting to tire of it

Hyper critical women with impossible standards and men who want to make as little effort as possible to get laid

They're quickly becoming something thats embarrassing to be on and I think give it a few more years and an attitude of

" I wouldn't be seen dead on them " may very well start to become mainstream

once we get too that point its game over for the apps in the traditional sense anyway , I think a lot will need to quickly pivot their business models into speed dating or singles events

Its already starting to happen in some areas

 

[parabellum]

Last week I saw a flyer about a singles mixer in the gym front desk, of all places. It’s a good omen, related to what is said above by Bingo. That, and the fact that for a woman that is reasonably attractive, the time spend in filtering among the hundreds of men in an app actually takes a toll in terms of time and effort. I’ve even seen attractive women delegate their app jobs to less attractive female friends.

 

[BPH]

As someone who has used all the dating apps over the past 10 years, the short answer is: yes.

The long but concise answer, yes because:
- app women are becoming more entitled year on year (perhaps the abundance + critical mass of bp men and simps on dating app)
- it's hard to screen the looks of app women nowadays because photo filter tech has improved so much
- the amount of catfishes, fake accounts, gold diggers, time wasters have increased
- app women are much more jaded now because of all the f-ckboys, players and just general fem culture nowadays
- in addition to being jaded, when you meet them, app women seem and feel so ran through
- *a recent trend I've noticed with app women is the formation of social media groups where they screenshot and share profiles and "tea" about each guy, which plays into the entitlement but may also lead to "man hating" for those of us who are successful on dating apps

(The above has just been my direct experience + fyi I've even paid for premium services over the years).

I've been getting much less matches and/or matches that stop replying or just ghost in recent years. I still get lays from dating apps occasionally but the results have DEFINITELY decreased over the years despite the objective increase in my own SMV (health, looks, job, finance, etc).

Edit: I should add I noticed that a lot of women have also gone off dating apps, especially attractive ones, even the women are getting tired of dating apps.

This pretty much hits the nail on the head.

Tinder was a big deal starting my sophomore year in college, and people understood that it was "the hookup app", and were ok with that.

Now there's a lot of entitlement because every right swipe for a woman is a match, while dudes are right-swiping everybody hoping for a match.

A lot of the women I swipe on nowadays are bots, fake accounts, or just not attractive - even in population hubs like New York when I visited my brother on my birthday I didn't have a whole lot of girls that I thought were good-looking on there. I bought Tinder Gold for that weekend and could see who was swiping on me and not a single girl was attractive...not one.

Now we have the 4B movement popping up so it's likely to get even worse for a little while. I'd heard somebody say that Instagram is the best dating app, and I'd agree with that statement. The problem there is that people are more concerned with APPEARING fun, interesting, and wealthy than actually being any of those things - a testament to the fact that it is now a legitimate business to sell time in a stationary jet taking pictures as if you're a "baller" traveling the world private.

Personally, I'm annoyed at how disingenuous it all is.

 

[BPH]

Why? You didn't see this coming?

I'm not surprised, but that doesn't mean I can't still be disappointed by it.

 

[BPH]

If you want to save on disappointments, learn to live without expectations.

Oh, I've preached time and time again that when it comes to dating apps, have no expectations and occasionally be pleasantly surprised. I've been pleasantly surprised plenty of times. Doesn't mean I suggest investing time, money, and effort into it compared to in-person.

 

[Doctor Doom]

Yes.

OLD is ran by AI, scammers, single moms and simp-seekers. The market is flooded with simps. It’s a sausage fest.

 

[SW15]

I've preached time and time again that when it comes to dating apps, have no expectations and occasionally be pleasantly surprised.

That's difficult for a lot of men to have zero expectations. Dating apps are a major effort for men and men want to get a reward for the effort.

Most men need to pay for apps to get the unlimited swipes in order to get a few matches. Realize that most men have a match percentage on less than 1% of their right swipes, so most men will need to swipe on large numbers of women to get positive traction in their dating lives. Also, plenty of those matches never amount to even a first date, let alone short term sex or an extended relationships. Most app arranged first dates are "one date, no sex, no second date" interactions.

Men are paying for dating apps with both actual money and time, so it is difficult to not have expectations.

Additionally, it's important to consider that men are often starting to use dating apps because their real world efforts are failing. They aren't meeting women at school, through their social connections, at the gym, in their co-ed sports leagues, or in nightlife venues, or any other real life venue.

Apps are hyper efficient for the Top 5-10% of men, but a waste of time for the rest.

Most men will also experience negative self-esteem by wasting time and money on swipe apps. The man below swiped 16,000 times on Tinder, got 3 first dates. Those 3 first dates were all "one date, no sex, no second date" interactions.

It’s a sausage fest.

It is. Tinder is 76% male and Bumble/Hinge are around 65% male. Odds are bad.

The market is flooded with simps.

Simps are created by endless rejections.

Men who can't date conventionally from either real world or tech-based methods become OnlyFans pay pigs.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Effort? EFFORT? Dude, the main reason dating apps are/were so incredibly popular is their CONVENIENCE in finding dates. All you had to do was get some pictures and post a semi-truthful profile and you got matches without having to leave your home, go to an event and charm a woman in real life. Dating apps are literally the most effortless way to find a date.

Gotta agree with Captain Cat Pirate over here lol. I could literally set up dates while working out, in the sauna, on the toilet lol, watching netflix, and etc. Any other method requires much more effort and presentation to pull off.

 

[SW15]

I could literally set up dates while working out, in the sauna, on the toilet lol, watching netflix, and etc. Any other method requires much more effort and presentation to pull off.

Dating apps are hyper efficient for a small percentage of men. It's possible that you are part of that small percentage.

For many men (and not even the top tier men), there is an illusion of efficiency in apps. It's easy to believe in this efficiency in using tech-based date arranging methods. Many men are sitting at home in their underwear/comfortable clothing and doing the swiping/messaging. Doing this starts to look really good if you do something like go to the mall, 1-2 grocery stores, or outdoors for 1-3 hours and don't arrange any dates.

There is an appeal in the idea of sitting at home and arranging dates. This trend emerged in the 2010s prior to the pandemic but pandemic lockdowns bolstered this. 1980s-1990s born people have been more tech dependent and not that excited about doing real world things.

 

[SW15]

You were speaking about effort, not efficiency.

Even when a man is sitting at home in his underwear swiping, that's still an effort. The time commitment required to get matches/dates while doing nothing at home is often immense.

In some ways, it can feel better than going to a nightlife venue and coming home empty handed and pissed. That last sentence resonates with a lot of men. It can feel better than an extended daygame session on a weekend afternoon. Both of those require getting dressed, grooming, and transportation to the venue.

Dating apps can destroy men's self-esteem when they realize that thousands of swipes resulted in nothing.

 

[GoodMan32]

Yeah, dating apps are bad right now.

In 2012, I got some dates from OkCupid. I got first date sex from a site called DateHookup in 2012. Then in 2013, I got an 8 month girlfriend on POF.

On the other hand, I downloaded Feeld and FetLife (per my therapist's urging) this past summer. No luck (The most I got on either of those apps was a woman offering to come over for fetish play. No sex, no date. She was going to let me watch her pee if I let her sit on my stomach while she masturbated. Alas, the plans fell through because I'm at work at the times when she's available)

Additionally, I've set up accounts on Bumble at points from 2016-2024. I had some broads reach out to me...but it never went anywhere.

 

[SW15]

Then in 2013, I got an 8 month girlfriend on POF.

POF in 2009-2013 was a challenging environment. The fact that you were able to initially seduce a woman from POF and retain her for 8 months is an achievement, especially considering the totality of all your issues.

I've set up accounts on Bumble at points from 2016-2024. I had some broads reach out to me...but it never went anywhere.

That's a typical male experience on Bumble from 2016-2024. It was likely easier to get dates on Bumble in 2016-2018 than 2022-2024 but Bumble was even very competitive in 2016-2018. So many men were having the "one date, no sex, no second date" issue on Bumble in 2016-2018.

 

[BaronOfHair]

"Are Dating Apps really that bad right now?"

Similar to asking "Is Fallujah really not giving Miami a run for it's money right now, especially in comparison to the glory days of '04?"

 

[GoodMan32]

POF in 2009-2013 was a challenging environment. The fact that you were able to initially seduce a woman from POF and retain her for 8 months is an achievement, especially considering the totality of all your issues.



That's a typical male experience on Bumble from 2016-2024. It was likely easier to get dates on Bumble in 2016-2018 than 2022-2024 but Bumble was even very competitive in 2016-2018. So many men were having the "one date, no sex, no second date" issue on Bumble in 2016-2018.

As much as I like it when you tout my successes, I'm (once again) going to cast a rain cloud.

My 8 month relationship on POF was with a strange 4/10 fattie who couldn't even fully speak English (I've mentioned on this forum before that I tend to do well if the broad's English isn't all there, as that means she fails to catch some of my socially awkward comments)

I suppose it also helped that I was young enough in 2013 it wasn't really frowned upon that I got assistance from parents.

 

[CornbreadFed]

On this forum, the main goal shouldn't be to encourage guys to use dating apps. The reason the 'dating marketplace' is in such a bad state is because low-effort 'efficiency' seekers ended up massively embracing the dating apps to the detriment of learning how to interact with women. This forum aims to help men with dating and interacting with women. Not how to 'beat the algorithm' and 'game the app' into finding dates. Threads like these should move to Reddit.

Fcuk dating apps. Go out and talk with people. Learn how to be really social, not the social of 'social media'.

Dating apps can destroy men's self-esteem when they realize that thousands of swipes resulted in nothing.

In person approach can destroy a man's self-esteem too. Not only do you face the same risks with the apps, but you add in the chances of getting humiliated in public or even shadow banned from certain areas/groups. The people over here preaching in person over apps are more than likely doing it in niche situations and not spraying in praying at the random Publix grocery store across the street.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

There's nothing unique to dating apps that sets them apart from the current trends of the dating market. The current dating market is itself imploding because of feminism and mass female delusion which itself is from social media far more than dating apps. Social media is to blame for this more than OLD; OLD is just a reflection of the dating market. Any problems you see in OLD are just as real as they are in the real world, but for some reason refuse to see it.

Anyone who thinks the dating market is fine and OLD is the problem is completely out of touch. Does no one remember that OLD has been around for almost 30 years? Back in the 00s it was nothing like it is now, because social media hadn't taken over yet. Social media + feminism is the problem with the dating market, period.

Swiping on your phone while taking a dump is not an effort. And it deludes people that it's efficient, but actually it's a huge time suck with a lousy ROI.

It's only a huge time sink if you have no vetting strategies. Tinder is 100% a waste of time though. But let me explain my Hinge process:

95% of my conversations on Hinge are initiated by the woman. I literally never swipe right on women until she's swiped right on me first. On Hinge, if someone swipes right on you, it shows up in your list of "likes" in a queue, and you can choose to reject or match with them (left vs right swipe), which is why I love Hinge.

Once we start talking, I screen them asap for compliance and interest, compatibility, and then give them my number to text me usually fairly quickly. Once they text me I push for a date, but if they show any sign of flakey/fickleness/or act "busy" I stop talking to them.

I really do put in minimal effort. I just don't think most people (men or women) have learned how to filter out only the most high IL/high quality options, because they don't realize how much time and irritation this saves you.

 

[DJ Novice]

I have found the rejection rate very high on dating apps. Even the most unattractive woman gets multiple hits so unless you stand out (through looks, humour, status, lifestyle, wealth etc.) you will find it challenging.

Dating apps are just one option in the dating market. They shouldn’t be demonised but you need to know what you are getting yourself in for.

Just because you may have success with other dating options it doesn’t necessarily follow that others will. Cold approaching in public places to me seems desperate and creepy but if it works for you go for it.

Pick your poison.

 

[Raggendecanton]

Is it really that bad for you guys? I gotta be honest its working like magic for me and some of my friends... Purely speaking of bumble. We are pulling women that are def considered "hot", from age 20-35 (we are about 27 to 32).

Then again, i would say we are way above average looking, but not like models or anything lol. Maybe its the US? Over here in Europe (western europe) it seems to be working fine still. I always wonder if its the profiles or actually the things that you guys say?

For example, i am NEVER serious while talking on this app. I am always making stupid fun of her, me or the dating scene in general. Ofcourse i def get ghosted as well, but i would say i have met a lot of amazing women this year alone true bumble. Ofcourse all of them are saying "i hate dating apps" but thats after the deed is done lol.