Are children worth it? Do you regret having kids??

[SW15]

I would say many (not all) female lawyers I have come across typically are out to prove something. This doesn't change when they become a judge. I think it is certainly the type of woman who wants to get a law degree in a profession that has historically been male dominant.

That's not the kind of attribute that's associated with femininity and desirable girlfriend/wife traits. Even less so if you're a man interested in having children with one.

I have also dated (in an LTR) a female lawyer for 2.5 years and can say it was often a difficult road to hoe. Hot and very smart - but a huge pain in the a$$ and constantly starting frame wars. Won't make that mistake again.

I can't imagine what it is like to date a female lawyer for 2.5 years. Yes, I agree that there are physically attractive ones. I saw this amazingly fit and tan one once at an event at a bar pre-pandemic. In general, they are difficult to interact with on a day-to-day basis. 2.5 years of that is a lot. The fact that the two of you tolerated each other for that long says something.

If we're talking about a typical law firm in any law practice area, a paralegal is far more dateable than a lawyer.

I do wished I had a son or daughter but was already mostly grown up, that would be cool. Like a 23 year old or something, especially if there was a good relationship. That would be awesome, however what wouldn't be awesome is to be a 43 year old divorced guy who lost half his **** and now has to pay child support, as well as alimony(which there is no excuse for).

I believe the more typical situation is the 43 year old male with kids between 5-15 who is paying child support and possibly alimony.

There is something to be said for having children earlier in life. Both sexes in Western nations have put off having children too late into life. It's best to have kids between 25-35. I'm 39. I have known some men who were 40-45 who had kids with women 7-14 years younger. I can understand that a little bit. Right now, I don't have the energy level to deal with an infant or toddler. When I was between 25-35, I was fighting career battles due to graduating into 2008, none of my relationships got near the point or either marriages/babies in those, and I was always careful about birth control simply because I knew other elements of my life weren't in place for having kids.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

Didnt love a person for 20 years after my first 1 or 2 girlfriends. I relearned loving when my kid was about 1 year.
Knowing what i know after being redpilled, i doubt that i will ever love a woman again, but i love my kid.

That said, before thinking of kids you need to be in a position (socially, economicaly, law-wise) in which you dont have to be afraid to walk away from the mother of your kids at any point and she has to know this. She also has to think you are the best she could get and be afraid that you could walk away. Otherwise you set yourself up for desaster.

 

[BadWatermelon]

I would say many (not all) female lawyers I have come across typically are out to prove something. This doesn't change when they become a judge. I think it is certainly the type of woman who wants to get a law degree in a profession that has historically been male dominant.

I have also dated (in an LTR) a female lawyer for 2.5 years and can say it was often a difficult road to hoe. Hot and very smart - but a huge pain in the a$$ and constantly starting frame wars. Won't make that mistake again.

(We have gotten a little off topic here lol)

Is that your profession (as your name implies)? If so I'd imagine you'd have seen a lot of female lawyers.

 

[SW15]

I am finally at the point in my career where I can write my own ticket, but now too old and worn down by life to have as much fun. So much damage done on the way up that I am taking 4 months or so off to heal from burnout.

Good for you. Professional burnout is real.

 

[2Rocky]

It's been between 15 and 23 years since each of my children were born, and I honestly don't remember it being a decision, but instead an assumption, an expectation, that I would have children.
When I met their mother she had the traits I wanted my children to have. Tall, blonde, athletic, slender, similar background to me, similar career field, and she was willing to have sex with me...

My mindset was that marriage = children and she was the gatekeeper to that. So she "pulled the goalie" during my first job out of college and we were on our way... Not the most responsible mindset for our financial future.

What I notice though, is that I'm doing better being a parent with my youngest, than I did with my oldest. Whether that is due to experience or having more time and resources or a combination , I don't know. Looking back, I might have chosen instead to keep a few shots of frozen semen so I could be more analytical about when and how I reproduced. But I think the ideal arrangement for my kids I've learned is that the best genetics and the best mother are two separate women in my life.

I think a lot of men become fathers because the woman they like more than any other wants to be a mother. I don't see a lot of single men wanting to raise a child. (Really who would?) But they find the joy in it. For the good fathers, they find enough joy that they sacrifice their time, energy and money to play that role.

If you are asking if it is "worth it" and going to base a decision on that right now, don't bring a child in this world. Like religion, you have to have faith that it will be, and have the satisfaction that you did the best you could regardless of the outcome.

 

[SW15]

I think a lot of men become fathers because the woman they like more than any other wants to be a mother. I don't see a lot of single men wanting to raise a child. (Really who would?)

Most men are ambivalent about having kids. The men that do want kids don't have the raging desires for fatherhood that a childless women 27-35 typically has for motherhood.

So she "pulled the goalie"

I know of way too many unintended pregnancies. A lot of times it's a man either is ambivalent about kids or doesn't want them getting with a woman who either wasn't on birth control or wasn't managing her birth control well. I've seen too many SJW/liberal White women with college degrees 25+ get pregnant and elect to carry the pregnancy even though the guy really didn't want it.

When I met their mother she had the traits I wanted my children to have. Tall, blonde, athletic, slender, similar background to me, similar career field, and she was willing to have sex with me...

Tall, blonde, athletic, slender and DTF for me are traits I would consider great.

 

[Epicwinguy]

A real Alpha Male doesn’t raise kids. He ****s another guy’s wife then that man raises the Alpha’s kids not knowing his wife cheated.

 

[2Rocky]

A real Alpha Male doesn’t....

 

[Epicwinguy]

View attachment 8605

Damn it took a minute for someone to call out the ridiculousness of my posts. I’m not surprised and I guess I shouldn’t be disappointed either.

 

[Barrister]

Is that your profession (as your name implies)? If so I'd imagine you'd have seen a lot of female lawyers.

Yes. I’m a criminal defense lawyer.

 

[SW15]

Makes you wonder if they still would have gone through with it if the guy was able to forfeit rights and responsibilities.

They wouldn't.

 

[BeExcellent]

No regrets.