Am I being a total pu$$y right now?

[spiegel549]

I have been dating this girl for about 3 weeks. We are already sleeping together and when I tell you I have played my A++ game. I really have.

We had our 4th date Tuesday, had a blast, on the date she invited me over Friday for dinner at her place but upfront told me she might have to visit her sister this weekend.

The next day she texted me thanking me again, told me she had a great time. I told her Friday should be fun. She said if she doesnt go to her sisters then yes it will be.

I told her ill call ya thursday and see whats up. she goes "I like that awesome, talk to you then!"

So I call tonight and get the VM, I hang up. sent short text "hey let me know if you want to get together tomorrow."

No response now for 3hrs.

She usually gets back with in 30 mins. Just not sure were to go from here. Plans are happening or not. If she doesnt call back what should my game play be?

 

[Starkwell]

You are on your C game now. You are being too clingy with her....back off before she gets tired of you quick. you got laid and got what you wanted. wait for her to call you. you don't need to tell her when you are going to call. just call her and dont be a pest.

 

[foreverAFC]

No response now for 3hrs.

lol @ 3 hours, are you a girl or something ?

 

[spiegel549]

lol...I hear you guys. Im being a ****ing AFC biotch right now haha. I dunno its just odd when shes so perseptive and then I get no response.

I cant help but to get myself into over thinking mode.

 

[NewAndImproved]

You're exhibiting some new behaviors -- thanks a lot to the good advice you've received from many on this girl -- but it seems most of your old thoughts are still there.

I've been there, too.

But seriously it's been 3 hours man. You never should've sent that follow up text. If she didn't respond, WAIT. It's only been 3 HOURS!

I think you need a couple more plates. You need to keep behaving in this non-needy way not just with this one girl but with many, otherwise you'll never change. You'll still be freaking out and coming back for advice for every little thing when it come to this ONE girl.

 

[Trump]

I have been dating this girl for about 3 weeks. We are already sleeping together and when I tell you I have played my A++ game. I really have.

So I call tonight and get the VM, I hang up. sent short text "hey let me know if you want to get together tomorrow."

No response now for 3hrs.

She usually gets back with in 30 mins. Just not sure were to go from here. Plans are happening or not. If she doesnt call back what should my game play be?

Come on bro, how can you have enough game to sleep with a girl in 1-2 dates and then ask a question like that? You feel vulnerable with that text that's why you are nervous. That's why you should never text, always call. She has the frame now and you are upset.

But seriously dude, take it easy. You are already having sex with her, want more do you want?

 

[The Gambler]

lol...I hear you guys. Im being a ****ing AFC biotch right now haha. I dunno its just odd when shes so perseptive and then I get no response.

I cant help but to get myself into over thinking mode.

Turn it down a notch... That's all.

Sounds like this could be a great LTR if you want one. No need to play games when she's being straightforward with you, but make sure to keep at least a bit of mystery and maintain some other worldly value in the mix.

Congrats on what's happened so far!

 

[Zarky]

You should be concentrating on banging other chicks. You're paying waaaaaay too much attention to this one. Bang other chicks.

 

[spiegel549]

Just got in from grabbing a few drinks with a friend, and she never called back nor texted back.

I have played it so perfect, I cant help but to just think (why didnt she get back to me tonight) everytime iv called she got back to me right away, tonight she vanishes.

I understand she can still reach out in the a.m. and have a simple valid reason, but what is my game plan come in the a.m. into the evening and she hasnt responded?

Just doesnt make sense how excited she was for me to call her/get together and then not answer back all night.

 

[PackDaddy]

If I have to, I'm coming over there spiegel and I'm shoving my foot so far up your rectum that its gonna come out of your mouth. WHO CARES? 3 weeks! What are ya, in love with this girl?

 

[zinc4]

I have been dating this girl for about 3 weeks. We are already sleeping together and when I tell you I have played my A++ game. I really have.

We had our 4th date Tuesday, had a blast, on the date she invited me over Friday for dinner at her place but upfront told me she might have to visit her sister this weekend.

The next day she texted me thanking me again, told me she had a great time. I told her Friday should be fun. She said if she doesnt go to her sisters then yes it will be.

I told her ill call ya thursday and see whats up. she goes "I like that awesome, talk to you then!"

So I call tonight and get the VM, I hang up. sent short text "hey let me know if you want to get together tomorrow."

No response now for 3hrs.

She usually gets back with in 30 mins. Just not sure were to go from here. Plans are happening or not. If she doesnt call back what should my game play be?

Geez...think positive....it's all good....relax man...and it will sail smoothly.

 

[seethehoop]

Yes!

 

[backbreaker]

Setting the hook


This is why I am such a proponent of truely, internalizing spinning plates. If you spun plates correctly this would be an impossible scenario to happen.


You, and others who are on the DJ path if you get enough field experience will learn through trial and error that there are no short cuts to proper frame.


Everyone assumes that plate spinning is about ****ing as many women as you can. There's some truth to that. They also think that it's about screening women. There's some truth to that as well, a lot. However, the third thing that flies over the head of most newbs wheni t comes to plate spinning is that it, by default, sets proper frame in a relationship. There is no other way to possibly convey the scenario other than she is trying to win you over.


Get this threw your head. That goes for everyone. A woman who you date right off the bat and that same woman who you date after you have spun her as a plate for 2-3 months then decided to be exclusive is going to act night and day different towards you.


In a nutshell what I am saying is that the reason you are so squirmy is beucase you haven't set the hook deep enough. But you want to catch a fish so bad you keep taking the reel out of the water.

As you or at least some of you know i run a web development company. This is a problem I had quite bad starting out. In the past, i was more concerned about how many people i could get interested in our services so I would send these short emails my main concern being that it wasn't too long for clients to read. I would send these dumb downed proposals. Antyhing a client wanted me to do I did it without question. And this worked, beucase I am a hard worker. But like you are right now, the first time that client didn't call me for 2 days i would get antsy. I would send countless emails, I would call, I would get worried that they were gonna bail out. sometimes, more than I liked, they did for various reasons. it wasn't becuase our services sucked, or only big time company's could get the clients or only companys who *****d their services out got our business... these are some of the things that happened, and to the novice it would look like that's why i am losing the money.

no, the reason I was losing the money was because the hook wasn't being set deep enough. i had become obsessed with making sure clients didnt' auto delete my messages, that i had forgot to set the hook in.

so i came up with an extremely unique sales tactic. I would email clients, you know what it's so unique i can't tell you lol. but i will say that i spend a lot more time setting the hook, not being concerned about how long an email is, and i send thorough proposals that are more concerned about showing we know what we are doing than making sure it's too long and lo and behold, the hook is set.

now, clients can go days without emailing and i dont' give a ****. i know there is not another company out there that is goign to set the hook like i do and if they do, **** it we dont' deserve the business and i can honestly say i tried my best.


so this is your problem. spend more time i the plate spinning mode, go over the **** we went in your PM . your problem is not attracting women, your problem is mental and lifestyle wise.

 

[Kidquick]

You can guarantee she knows you called and that she read your text. If her interest level is high enough she'll get back to you. Initiating any further contact will make you appear weak and needy...Women hate indifference, use it to your advantage.

 

[SgtSplacker]

Try looking at it this way, if you want to get excited about a girl there's nothing wrong with that. But make sure you have a REAL reason to be excited about. With 3 weeks under the belt you really don't know this girl at all. She still has to win your praise and acceptance. And quite frankly it looks like she is already messing up with you and early in the game too. So in my opinion theres nothing special going on here... not yet at least. You got laid, gratz so far you are winning. Wait for her to step up her game and show you that you are #1. And don't pursue her at all after this cold shoulder she's giving you.

FYI: If anything... the one flaking should be you.

How to go from here? I would not call her any more this week, and if you miss the date, good. Maybe give her a last call next Thursday to say hi and see where it goes from there, don't try to setup a date until she asks about it. Showing her your not phased in the least by the missed date. I would even act like I forgot about it.

If it was me, I would cancel the next date if it does happen the night before. Something came up, i'm really sorry.

THE LAST THING YOU WANT THIS GIRL TO THINK IS THAT SHE HAS YOU

 

[Renegade357]

You didn't play this perfectly by any means.

on the date she invited me over Friday for dinner at her place but upfront told me she might have to visit her sister this weekend.

You made a date on a date. You also accepted a date with a girl on a Friday who isn't your girlfriend. Makes it seem like you're too available and anti-challenge. Next time tell her you have plans. She also gave herself a back door with the sister. It's so obvious there's another guy in the picture.

The next day she texted me thanking me again, told me she had a great time. I told her Friday should be fun. She said if she doesnt go to her sisters then yes it will be.

You should have cancelled with her right on the spot when the sister came up AGAIN. Sister = another cawk. She pretty much verified this when she couldn't be bothered to take 20 seconds to respond to your text.

 

[backbreaker]

i have to pretty much agree with renegade.. but you should have saw this coming a mile away this is the same chick who you were banging who said she had a man already.

this is why you don't date them so quickly. this is why you screen for a few months.

however, nexting her would be the abouste wrong play, beucse she is not the one that has made the mistake you are.

lol what do you think the girl told her BF when she wanted to hang out with you? that she wanted to go get some new **** so she couldn't hang out with you?

i mean, you don't want to get so pessimistic that every time a girl makes plans like this but there is other ****.

the problem is, you were supposed to be plate spinning, not dating. plate spinning, this isn't the biggest of deals.. sister, new ****, who the **** cares, i will see you next week i'm going to go do myt hing in the mean time. with that mindset, you can't lose. But see now despite the advice of everyone here, and without consulting anyone lol, you decided to tie the board up, now you have to make this bull**** stand when in reality she's not the one in the wrong but you have to to save face. you never should have dated her so quickly. now you have to give her the whole WTF is going on speach. it's doomed. you can't pretend like you don't give a **** if you are dating. the problem is that you should not be dating.




this is why i told you to do what i told you that you need to do, and you know what i am talking about. your entire mindset needs to be rewired. you are way too needy and too clingy and it's the driving factor behind all the deicions you make, even if you don't intend to make them. you can't fix that by not calling for 2-3 days. you fix it by getting a life.

i promise you guys, plate spinning, works if you work it. it own't work if you don't work it.

 

[Renegade357]

Yeah, never accept a definite maybe date. And this girl sounds like trash imo. I'd next her if I was you.

 

[backbreaker]

Yeah, never accept a definite maybe date. And this girl sounds like trash imo. I'd next her if I was you.

nah he needs to use this as practice. he's learning a lot here. but seriously get any ideas of any long romantic **** out of your head this isn't the girl.


understand this... at last this is the way i think about it.

DJism isn't necessarily what you do while you are on a date with a girl. it's pretty hard to **** up a deal on a date if the girl likes you AFC or not.

DJism is the management time between dates. it's how you conduct yourself from one date to the next. how you contact her, how you don't contact her, how you keep yourself busy and what you are keeping yourself busy with.


Your objective here, at least the way i see it isn't so mjuch to dqate this girl, that's not gonna work. your objective is for you to learn how to truely manage a woman. right now you aren't managing her she's managing you.

this is not good but it's still very savlagable if you play your cards right. it's gonna take a few weeks of laying ground work.. and you know what i am talking about.. but it's doable.

 

[Renegade357]

DJism isn't necessarily what you do while you are on a date with a girl. it's pretty hard to **** up a deal on a date if the girl likes you AFC or not.

Both are equally important I think. The way you act on a date can destroy your chances with a girl without you even knowing it. They keep score on everything you do and say. It's ridiculously easy to talk a girl out of liking you.

As far as this girl goes with him I'd next her. She disrespected him by not valuing his time and not responding to his text. I think he put himself in a position that allowed her to do that but what's done is done. He's now on unequal footing with her and she does not respect him. He'd be better off replacing her and doing things the right way going forward.