While spinning plates does not reach ALL of the core issues of the AFC, it is an invaluable too for teaching one to reject the scarcity mindset, oneitis, clingingess, and neediness. Not to mention getting as much experience as possible as quickly as possible. Which are reasons why most people come to this site. So every AFC really should try spinning plates.
great post and i agree.
spinning plates are like AA meetings. starting off, you need them everyday. 90 meetings in 90 days is the mantra in AA.
the more clean time you get, the more normal you become, you don't have to do it everyday but it still helps to go to a few now and then. if i were single today i don't HAVE to spin plates, in other words i'm not going to go out of my way to spin plates that i would not be spinning. let me rephrase, i would be spinning plates even with 1 plate, but i would not go out of my way tom ake sure i had more than 1 today i really dont' give a ****. i'm fine single. i can keep my current mindset while being single. today i would not takl to hb 7's just to add a plate to the roster. i'm not going to go out activally looking to make 3-4 x plates i'm too busy. but if i ran into 2-3 girls that wanted to be plates, it's game on.
I think what i am trying to say about floyd's advice.. look i got 7 years and 10 months clean time in AA. the new guy comes in and look at what i do i imght got a meeting once a week and they want to do that and say hey look that's lal you have to do is want to be clean you don't have to actually go to meetings and all this bull**** everyday. what that new guy rails to reialze is that, i was once, exactly where he was and when i was, i went to meetings everyday lol. in other words, when you are new, in recovery, from either women or drugs, youd ont' have the luxury about caring what is or is not convenient. today i am watching the bama game. there is a meeting this time. **** it lol. i'm gonna be fine. but if you got a month clean you dont' have the luxury to say **** it. the ability to say **** it is something that is earned, if that makes sense.
in short, the ability to want to or not want to spin plates is not a theological choice, it's a choice that you earn by going through the process
whereas the newbie, he really does not need to be dating at all without plate spinning or he will go back to old habits.
Of course, it has its problems. Its impossible for anyone who works 60+ hours per week to do without severely neglecting other important aspects of life. It can be a new way of pedestaling women(plural now instead of just one woman). It is a fine line between spinning plates and cheating. Also it does mimic the psychopathic strategy to avoid being hurt which is not good.
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this is what i am trying to say. and i talk about AA alot beucase the similarities between the 2 are unreal in how it all works.
starting off, getting over your oneitis /AFC ism is not a part time job. it's not something you are goign to read an article or read a few threads and just get. it's gonna take some work. in other words, yeah it's inconvenient, but do you realize on a daily basis just how inconveinent AFCism is? my old business partner hired a girl he wanted to ****, for no other reason than he wanted to **** her and paid her about 50% mroe than going rate.. that was a 15k is decision a year. or the time he took her overseas and spent all his money on her and still didn't get any. or the amount of money and time i spent chasing my oneitis, years and thousands. or the amount of time i spent waiting around for girls, or hte emotional hurt that came from being hurt by girl after girl.
or not doing something you want to do because you think girls are going to be somewhere else and you hope someone will look at you.
AFCism isn't just about having sex. that's like saying drug addiction is just about doing drugs. AFCism is about getting your life back. to be able to make decisions like an normal person that aren't ***** based. to not be driven by the need for ***** or a woman. to not be hurt and lose productivity over a woman's decisions.
i can't speak for anyone else but it got that bad to me, where even with running a business, i had to make time to get this. enough was enough.
