Am I being a total pu$$y right now?

[Sofomore]

Don't next her.

You just slipped up a little. You are being needy and clingy and already getting oneitis. From the looks of it you forgot one major part of your game: INDIFFERENCE.

Here's what indifference is:

She has plans already. So what, I have friends/girls/hobbies to attend to.

She cancelled our date. So what, I have friends/girls/hobbies to attend to.

We might never have sex again. So what, I have friends/girls/hobbies to attend to.

She is going out with another guy. So what, I have friends/girls/hobbies to attend to.

You see? You aren't on your A++ game because you don't have a life. Because you don't have a life you turn to this girl and smother the sh!t out of her.

She now realizes this and is backing away. The more she backs away, the more you chase and the less she respects you.

You might be able to save this. As long as you are indifferent to her. Likely she smells the desperation and is gone with the wind.

It really is this simple: SPIN MORE PLATES!

 

[Sofomore]

Both are equally important I think. The way you act on a date can destroy your chances with a girl without you even knowing it. They keep score on everything you do and say. It's ridiculously easy to talk a girl out of liking you.

As far as this girl goes with him I'd next her. She disrespected him by not valuing his time and not responding to his text. I think he put himself in a position that allowed her to do that but what's done is done. He's now on unequal footing with her and she does not respect him. He'd be better off replacing her and doing things the right way going forward.

You make a good point but it's probably not realistic for this guy. He is balls deep in her web and has no intention of getting out.

I really don't think he is just going to drop all his "feelings" for this girl because someone on the internet tells him.

 

[Renegade357]

I liked a lot of the girls I had to drop too. Not gonna lie, I still think about some of them. They're bad news though. In my opinion that's the most important thing I learned in dealing with women. If they cross the line drop them because they are a waste of time. If your'e going to spin plates at least do it with women who respect you.

I mean, what are we supposed to tell him?

"It's okay man you might still have a chance. Just wait for her to finish getting rammed by the other guy. She doesn't respect you at all but she might call you back and give you another shot."

That's not exactly an exercise in self-esteem building.

 

[Sofomore]

I liked a lot of the girls I had to drop too. Not gonna lie, I still think about some of them. They're bad news though. In my opinion that's the most important thing I learned in dealing with women. If they cross the line drop them because they are a waste of time. If your'e going to spin plates at least do it with women who respect you.

I mean, what are we supposed to tell him?

"It's okay man you might still have a chance. Just wait for her to finish getting rammed by the other guy. She doesn't respect you at all but she might call you back and give you another shot."

That's not exactly an exercise in self-esteem building.

Haha yea good point. It must come with age. I am 22, so I am still trying to maximize the amount of pu$$y I get. Maybe the OP is forgetting what exactly he wants out of the girl. Looks like he wants a relationship but if a girl pulls a move like that, next. If he wanted a FWB, so what, let her flake and just hit it another time.

 

[spiegel549]

Great posts guys, I appreciate it!

Honestly after reading all your posts I realized just how important spinning other plates really is. If I had other women, hobbies, and plans in my life I would truly be able to think (eh ill call up susie, or dana, or jaclyn) and not even sweat this situation with her not responding.

It frustrates me because I thought I was playing it very well, but you are all right, I need to be indifferent and spin other plates, and not care if one broad bails/doesnt get back to me etc.

I know damn well she saw my call, read my text, and she chose not to respond.

REALLY I knew she had another guy in the picture, I should of exspected this, she is NOT LTR material, not in the long shot.
-She is 19, im 26
-She is in college has no job, daddy still pays for everything.
-The maturity level and her responsibilities are not at my level, not even close.

What could she give me in the long run in a LTR? Sex, and thats it.

I admit I was more excited about having and wanting A LTR that I should of stopped myself and realized JUST HIT IT AND DONT DATE HER.

So were do I go from here...its obvious I am NOT going to hit her up again unless she reaches out. IF she does reach out I will be indifferent, and I am seriously going to push to build up new plates this weekend.

The final verdict, spin new plates, be indifferent, get busy, dont reach out to her again, do we all agree?

Is this dead in the water? Should I reach out next week to try to hit it?
Its bluntly clear this one is not LTR material, **** BUDDY maybe?

 

[Renegade357]

The final verdict, spin new plates, be indifferent, get busy, dont reach out to her again, do we all agree?

Nope, not final verdict. Even if you were spinning plates you still messed this one up. Go back and read what I said. You weren't a challenge, you were too available, you made a date on a date, you accepted a "definite maybe" date. Clean up your game man.

You don't HAVE to spin plates. It'd be much better if you learned how to act and drop women who deserve it. That's how you get your LTR.

Is this dead in the water? Should I reach out next week to try to hit it?
Its bluntly clear this one is not LTR material, **** BUDDY maybe?

You're in a bad spot. If you want to get some a$$ from her the best thing to do is let her contact you. Don't answer or respond to her initial contact for 2-3 days. Then out of the blue call her up and ask her out for a weeknight date. Act like NOTHING happened. Specific place, time, plan, ect. Then if she doesn't flake and you have a good time bang her Peter North style. No LTR with this one.

 

[VladPatton]

Dude... I said it before, at 19 she doesn't know what the hell she wants! Throw in her original flaking, the boyfriend, immaturity, and you have a recipe for low quality character. Don't set yourself up for disappointment. Her remarkable bj gagging skills at her age should of been a tipoff as well.

Just chill and let it go for now. Sometimes no matter how well you bring your game, a girl can always surprise you.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Dude... DUDE!

You've already asked this question on a previous post, and we told you THEN what you should do. Heck, as I recall, I said something to the effect of calling her and just telling her to have a good time with her sister, and that you would hit her up later to fix up something next week.

Anyway... oh yeah, side note: @backbreaker, the stuff you said about business is GOLD. I'm sure it applies to dating, but I'll be using those same tactics in my business life from now on - thanks!

Back to the OP: I won't even get into the whole "Texting KILLS Relationship" thing. What I will say, though, is that if you start contacting her repeatedly now just to see what's up, it's not going to come across as someone who's controlled with their emotions. Like I said in the last post, she probably broke up with her LAST boyfriend for also being clingy, remember? Don't be that guy!

Real talk: sometimes - just sometimes - people get busy. I've dated girls who I've called and left messages for, and they didn't get back to me until the next day. No big friggin' deal - in the grand scheme of things it's NOT a long amount of time. And so what if you don't see her on Friday? It's ONE friggin' day, and NOT a long amount of time.

Now you're just sounding desperate to see her, but she already told you she had something else on her plate. Unless she suddenly dies at her sister's place, you can make time to see her on ANOTHER day. Even if you're not spinning other plates, find a hobby or something to occupy your time - which you should be doing anyway - and quit worrying about not being able to see her every friggin' day!

 

[backbreaker]

this entire ordeal reminds me of my first real GF i ever had as an adult.. i actually have a picture of her on my photobucket account


http://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff85/strawberryroad/2005-07-06/98c3.jpg

to put in perpsective what we are talking about here... rather or not you are into black women or not, it doesn't take long for you to realize that this is not a girl that is gonna have a non social life. she's gonna go on dates. actually, a lot more traditional than she leads on to be she isn't as "bad girl" as she looks at all.


anyway, i met her, she had just got out of a 6 YEAR relationship. she gave me so much bull**** the first month, that i am quite sure the vast majority of the guys here woudl have left. I was spinning, seriously spinning enough plates by this time that, i was able to paly around with her a little.. she was giving me def buying signals, she was really into me, but then she'd just flake. something wasn't adding up. turns out, it never was me. it had nothing to do with me. it was teh X. he was still in the piture. and she'd go with him then go with me and then go with him.

she wasn't a bad girl, at all. she wasn't immoral or any of that. she was just torn. and when someone is torn they tend to go with the familiar.

hwoever, here is the KEY difference between your story and mine. during this entire X phase, she was never more than anytihng than a plate. ever. **** not even 1 plate i never spun less than 3. so when she went on her little X tirade, i'd just go on a date wtih someone else or go **** someone else. For every tic,every time she flaked, i tatted.. she'd want to come over and i'd have company. she'd go on a date, i'd go on a date.. and i'd make sure i went on a date when she wanted to see me. she ****ed him, i ****ed someone else, and let her find out about it ****, one day we were supposed to meet at a night club and i get there a little late, walk around and find her locking lips with her X right in front of me. Because I knew why she was doing it.. again.. this wasn't me.. i knew enough about women by this time to know what a buying signal was and this girl really did like me, so i cut her some lee way. i didnt' make ab ig deal out of it, i just refused to dance with her since she did that, and danced with other girls. even picked up a plate that night.

eventually.. she figured out 2 things.. 1. i didn't give a **** about her ****ing her ex (i kinda did.. i liked her.. but not to the point where i showed it.. but i liked her more than she thought i did, i just knew how to deal with it, by ****ing someone else) and 2. eventually she figured out she really liked me, like a lot. this wasn't instant, this took about 2 to 3 months.

Then all of a sudden.. why do you keep ****ing other girls. why can't you settle down. why do you actl ike an *******, why do you do this, i told you i don't like him the only reason i talk to him is beucase you won't commit.. and i told her honestly i like you too.. but considering 1. you have been ****ing your ex for the entire time i have known you.. i mean we aren't dating so it's not that big of a deal and 2. he's still in the picture, you can't expect me to do ****. and she would get pissy and go into her corner and a few days later we would make up and this went on for a month. then she came tom e and said backbreaker what do i have to do to be your Girlfriend. i want to be your girlfriend. i told her i am open to the idea of settling down with her, under the following conditions..1. he's 100000% out the picture. no friend talk ****, no conversations, if i even think he's in the picture you can forgot it. i can't nor will i compete with a 6 year ex. 2. you convice me why it's worth my time to lock you up. you'r hot but ****, what else do you bring to the table.

and i'll be damned if she didn't cut him off. and even then, i didn't ask her to date me for another 2 months. by then we were dating in everything but name only, **** she lived with me basically, but still, just the title she was over the moon.

that's how you play it son. the probelm isn't the girl. the problem is yoru time table is too fast and it messes up your decisions. had i dated her 1 month into our meeting each other i would have had to drop her for cheating on me, she would have dated me she like dme. she's not really a bad girl. a lot of guys misdiagnose women beucse they move too fast. GREAT GF. supportive, very feminine, was all about her some backbreaker. i just at the end of the day felt i could do better so we split


we don't talk about it here beucse most guys never get to this point but if you can diffuse in her mind the ***** power play.. and she adctually likes you.. 9 out of 10 times, she's done. Amber (the girl in the pic) was used to guys falling all over her at the sign of attention. she liked the drama. she assumed when i found out that she was ****ing her ex i would be all over her trying to lock her up .. one day i was over her house watching TV and her phone rang and was her ex, i got thep hone, answered it and handed it to her and sat there watching TVF while she talked on the phone.. 2 ****s i did not give lol. i really didn't. i had hot plates. i mean, it would have been better in her mind if i got up and left beucse it would have shown i had SOME Feelings.. we were watching 24 the TV show and i just kept watching it like nothing else was going on. i was 1000% indifferent. in my mind **** i was lining up the peice of ass i was going to get once i left i could care less what he was going to do. we were ****ing already i knew she liked me . however i was gonna get some *****, and some pretty nice *****, regardless of if she wanted to act right or not. and once we got where

1. it was clear she liked me
2. it was clear to me that she was ****ing him and she knew i knew
3. i did not care either way, i didn't even bring it up, i just chilled with her and went and did my thing


= done. stop giving ***** so much power who gives a ****. a guy who gets ***** all the time doesn't' care of ione of his jump offs is getting other ****, doesn't effect anything we have. i mean the entire game changed once that happened she didn't have anything else left. that's when she started stalking me and having friends ride by my house to see what other car was there and **** lol.

 

[sageproduct]

^Holy fwck reading that post would have helped me tremendously two months ago.

Backbreaker, how do you determine when to keep your plates from knowing about each other, and when to "let slip" that you're seeing other women?

Recently, a female friend of mine was really into this guy she was dating. But then, she ditched him when she found out he was spinning plates because she didn't want to be "regarded as an option".

If a girl is giving you everything, is that when you kind of play it down that you are spinning plates and just tell her you're not ready for a relationship until you hit the roughly 2-3 month mark?

 

[spiegel549]

Backbreaker Very insightful, really makes me think.

Harry When I first called and got VM my plan WAS to say I know you have your sisters thing lets get together when you get back. But an hour after no response I sent that text..afterwards thinking "****...why did I send a damn text." lol.

Regardless there is nothing I can do from here. SHE needs to hit me up, I can not chase her and be desperate. If she ever reaches out next week, I need to approach it from here on out with the mindset of being indifferent, and that it will probably never be anything more then a FB, if anything at all.

Heres my Problem

I use to work on very popular entertainment cruise liner as the Cruise Director. I ran ALL the entertainment on the ship for 3000 guests. I did that job for 4 years straight. When I tell you, not to brag, but I literally ****ed over 70 girls a year for 4 years. I **** you not. I have videos and photos a mile long in my closet as proof lol. I was a celebrity. Women with husbands, boyfriends, on there HONEYMOON wanted to **** and I ****ed them. That job came to an end and when I got back on land I hit a ****ing wall..

That "Cruise Ship Fame" became "who is this guy trying to talk to me" it set me back. Like Will Ferrell says "One month I did so much ****ing I had to ice my balls." lol but seriously. I went through A YEAR of withdrawals...I was use to getting any ass I wanted, because "I was a celebrity" to maybe a number every 2 weeks.

I finally moved and got into Entertainment on land and I love my job now, and I honestly am sick of just ****ing. What I did in 4 years most men won't do in there lifetime. I don't want to just ****, I want to spin plates and screen these broads so I can meet the ultimate LTR woman.

Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy sex and wouldn't mind having a good screw often. I just need to get my damn head back in the game. When I was on the ship I didn't give a ****. I went through women like pez candies, and now I have to sit here and figure out why a 19 year old won't call me back. Its honestly personally pathetic.

But hey I am glad I have you guys to wake my ass up, and TEACH me what NOT to do so I don't keep making the same damn mistakes.

Somethings are just common sense. She is ****ing 19, gets stoned, and parties, has an ex boyfriend she still sees. What can I expect going into that, except just sex.

Its my own damn fault for falling so fast for these broads. I really seriously am going to fill my time up with hobbies, activities, gym, everything, and spin as many plates as I have fingers and toes.

I REALLY need to stop giving a ****!!! Its sad to see what I was to what I have become. I NEED TO REGAIN what I was again!!!!

 

[pdx1138]

How old ARE you?

From your previous posts I thought you were 18-22.

If you've had that much tail I would think, reminding yourself of those conquests
would get you out of a rut.

 

[WhitePimp]

I believe you commented in my previous thread. I had this EXACT same situation occur a week ago. Backbreaker is spot on with everything; I wish this thread had been made last week so I could've benefited. Now I have 2 plates on the line and this chick is a distant memory. MEET MORE WOMEN, I swear to God it's the only answer

 

[VladPatton]

You'll get over it man, we all fall for these beautiful females with their sexy ways. At the end of the day you're still doing better than me, I ain't getting jack ṣhit haha.

 

[backbreaker]

^Holy fwck reading that post would have helped me tremendously two months ago.

Backbreaker, how do you determine when to keep your plates from knowing about each other, and when to "let slip" that you're seeing other women?

Recently, a female friend of mine was really into this guy she was dating. But then, she ditched him when she found out he was spinning plates because she didn't want to be "regarded as an option".

If a girl is giving you everything, is that when you kind of play it down that you are spinning plates and just tell her you're not ready for a relationship until you hit the roughly 2-3 month mark?

1. it's not about being an option it's about proving yourself.. and me not committing until you do. every girl i ever dated, or spun had a chance to be where my wife is now. i gave them all an equal opportunity. my wife is the only onet hat did what it took to get there. if a woman is not down for that, bye. i can find another to replace you, that's why they are called plates and not girlfriends


2. be tactful. never brag about what you do. but if she wants to go out and let it be known you have comp, it's okay to let her know the same

3. never lie about what you are doing. if a girl asks you are you seeing someone else tell her yeah you go on dates from tmie to time but nothing serious.

4.

If a girl is giving you everything, is that when you kind of play it down that you are spinning plates and just tell her you're not ready for a relationship until you hit the roughly 2-3 month mark?

no. you don't say you aren't ready for a relatioship. that's bad tact. say you are ready for a relationship but she has to prove to you that she's worth being in one with. put the onus on HER not you.


tell her as soon as you are convinced that she likes you enough and that she's a good enough fit, you will be exlusive with her. until then, do what you do. if she doesn't like that, tell her that's too bad, you really like her but best of luck and don't budge

 

[floydb25]

I dont think spinning plates is necessary. Ever. Yea, I said it. What now?

Whats important is changing your mindset, confidence, standards, and attitude to the same state you would be in if you WERE doing that. Otherwise, you're just putting a bandage over a larger problem, because youre too much of a ***** to have self-control. And other appropriate insults for not having a life, enjoying your private time, being content by yourself, having friends and hobbies, etc - which in turn eliminates desperation, co-dependancy, clinginess, etc. Thats where you want to be. Not dating 12 women so that you dont become attached, clingy, or focused on just one. What kind of weak **** is that? Youre still making women the #1 priority - akin to learning game to attract women, because they're you're #1 priority. Ha Ha. How ironic and contradictory some of this advice is. Just covering up larger issues with all this crap.

You have to NOT care, not put women on a pedestal, not be desperate, not worry, enjoy your life, have fun, dont take dating so seriously, or fear being alone. And all of this shows in your entire demenor, which naturally makes you confident, independent, challenging, and other things covered up by game techniques to mask the same flaws and insecurities which brought you to this state. You want to have natural game - by being a well-rounded person. You wont get attached or pursue or cling or worry or care when this happens. You also wont try so hard in doing everything "right" (via game), in an attempt to be successful. Youre just chill. Take it or leave it. Plenty of women out there. She's nothing special. Its all good. And etc.

If you really think about it - a lot of this advice is the polar opposite of how guys were before they learned game. Thats why a lot of guys still fail, because those core issues never leave - theyre only masked. Theyre still trying to win women over by doing x and y - because q and w was ineffective (ie, being a nice guy). Same ****, different pattern.

Kill the fear, live your life. Good things will come.

Also: avoid worthless women. They cause 90% of the problems in the dating gig.

Not to say some gaming techniques arent important, burt it should be natural-flowing, and not overdone.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

I dont think spinning plates is necessary. Ever. Yea, I said it. What now? Whats important is changing your mindset, confidence, standards, and attitude to the same state you would be in if you WERE doing that. Otherwise, you're just putting a bandage over a larger problem, because youre too much of a ***** to have self-control.

Dude, I JUST did a whole post about this earlier in the week - check it out: "The TRUTH About Spinning Plates (The Good and the BAD)"

 

[backbreaker]

u know what, i'm done arguing with people who are hell bent on not getting this ****. if you want to swim in *****, read the people who actually get *****'s post lol. i'll just leave it at that. if you guys want to have a DJ philosophy class knock yourself out.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

and both of you are are wrong


floyd your description of spinning plates comes straight out of cosmo magazine you have no ****ing clue what you are talking about and harry you are just over thinking ****

there is reason why every guy who has ever been apart of this site and had real success, preaches spin plates. it's why anti dump talked about spinning plates, it's why pook talked about spinning plates, it's why senior fingers talked about spinning plates, it's why A unit talked about spinning plates, it's why rollo talks about spinning plate.

If you noticed, the title of my article included the phrase "the GOOD and the BAD." I think spinning plates is a good way for a guy to learn how not to be so obsessed over any one girl in particular. At the same time, i do believe that doing it for too long can also create some bad habits. Just 'cause it doesn't apply to you doesn't mean it can't apply to others. All of our experiences are different, and the things we practice while learning to get women can have different effects on each person.

 

[youngmack]

I dont think spinning plates is necessary. Ever. Yea, I said it. What now?

Whats important is changing your mindset, confidence, standards, and attitude to the same state you would be in if you WERE doing that. Otherwise, you're just putting a bandage over a larger problem, because youre too much of a ***** to have self-control. And other appropriate insults for not having a life, enjoying your private time, being content by yourself, having friends and hobbies, etc - which in turn eliminates desperation, co-dependancy, clinginess, etc. Thats where you want to be. Not dating 12 women so that you dont become attached, clingy, or focused on just one. What kind of weak **** is that? Youre still making women the #1 priority - akin to learning game to attract women, because they're you're #1 priority. Ha Ha. How ironic and contradictory some of this advice is. Just covering up larger issues with all this crap.

You have to NOT care, not put women on a pedestal, not be desperate, not worry, enjoy your life, have fun, dont take dating so seriously, or fear being alone. And all of this shows in your entire demenor, which naturally makes you confident, independent, challenging, and other things covered up by game techniques to mask the same flaws and insecurities which brought you to this state. You want to have natural game - by being a well-rounded person. You wont get attached or pursue or cling or worry or care when this happens. You also wont try so hard in doing everything "right" (via game), in an attempt to be successful. Youre just chill. Take it or leave it. Plenty of women out there. She's nothing special. Its all good. And etc.

If you really think about it - a lot of this advice is the polar opposite of how guys were before they learned game. Thats why a lot of guys still fail, because those core issues never leave - theyre only masked. Theyre still trying to win women over by doing x and y - because q and w was ineffective (ie, being a nice guy). Same ****, different pattern.

Kill the fear, live your life. Good things will come.

Also: avoid worthless women. They cause 90% of the problems in the dating gig.

Not to say some gaming techniques arent important, burt it should be natural-flowing, and not overdone.

I like this, I think this is your answer OP. Spinning plates really does cover up the core issues. Something I've tried to do. For some reason I have low confidence,insecure, emotional. Etc. I try to cover this sh*t up by spinning plates,but really it dosent really work. You feel good for a while but then all these issues you have slowly starts to leak out.

If one plate dosent feel me ,my ego gets hurt and I feel down. Then I go pick up another plate feel good then somehow I fucc up and bam I'm down again. All of this is avoidable if I was to get myself right and do my thing, instead of constantly spinning plates while being a little pvssy deep down inside.Which is why I have decided to take a little break from broads and just fix my flaws.

I'm not saying you shouldn't spin plates. You SHOULD...You HAVE to, but do that when you you've got or while your getting your sh*t together.

Now I just need to take my own advice LOL.