Always the Forbidden Fruit

[STR8UP]

Do you know why many men that have "status", manage to be married with a desireable woman...or at least find a desireable woman for a girlfriend? A lot of us do.

But...what happens when that "status" goes away? A person loses his job or business or fame.

Many times the ones that end up dumped (by wife or girlfriend) or cheated (by wife or girlfriend)...are the ones that relied on their "status" to get those women interested on them. These are the ones that used false confidence to get those women interested on them. Because a man which confidence is based on his status, is a man that will collapse when things don't go his way.

True confidence can be better measured when how we act when things are not going our way. If you are struggling through life and you manage to get your 3-5 children and wife to have ZERO concern because they trust you are going to provide them with the security they need...that's in my eyes is what a man with TRUE confidence brings to the table. He brings the trust of those he leads.

Being a TRUE Alpha man is the loneliest thing in life as a TRUE Alpha man make the toughest decisions...the decisions that might impact how others might view him...but at the end...the best decision nevertheless. When I left my wife...I knew I made the correct decision. People talked crap about me for making that decision...but it was the correct one. Time is proving me right.

I have a LOT more respect for the man that cleans my office than some of the big shot I meet throughout life.

When I talk with women...I NEVER bring my work position or salary or who I meet with as part of my job. And if the topic arise...that's something I rather keep low key. For all I care...they can view me as the gardener or landscaping guy. It is irrelevant to me what others think about me.

My job does NOT define me as a Man. My salary does NOT define me as a Man. My home does NOT define me as a Man. Because if I ever lose any of those things...my Masculinity should remain the same. Sure...I focus in my career, because that is something I take serious. But it is not going to define me.

This is how we are very different...you rely on your "status" to swim in the sea of life. I rely on my "character" to do the same. But here is the beauty...you and I can lose our status by simply losing our means of making $$$. But our character?

This is a good post, but you still carry the "status=money hungry greedy ba$tard who is out to screw everyone" tone, which is BS. You equate status directly with "making money". It doesn't necessarily work that way. Status is nothing more than other people holding you in high regard socially. I could be driving a 1986 corolla hatchback and I would still have status because people ASSUME things and with a little bit of this and a little of that it isn't difficult to achieve high status WITHOUT A PENNY.

Everyone is soooo quick to jump on anything I say an blow it way out of proportion. Who said I RELY on my status to pick up women? I have stated this many times before.....most women become attracted to be BEFORE they know where I live or what I drive or what I do. Why? Because I possess traits that are attractive to the opposite sex, some of which stem FROM my status, some of which resulted IN my being able to attain status. It all feeds on itself.

Do you think I talk about work to women? Only if they ask me questions about it and then I usually steer the convo in another direction. And that's what I am saying about most of the women I date not really knowing who I am when they get involved.

See, status is most effectively built based upon social proof. Of course, if you tell someone you are a heart surgeon, you automatically have status when you meet someone. But it's different when people talk you up. Now you are "the best heart surgeon in the city/state/country". If I tell a woman I own a business and she hasn't seen my commercials or doesn't know my friends, I get a LITTLE status for being an entreprenuer. When I meet a woman through some of my younger friends, I have uber status based upon the principle of social proof which amplifies it.

 

[MacAvoy]

This is a good post, but you still carry the "status=money hungry greedy ba$tard who is out to screw everyone" tone, which is BS. You equate status directly with "making money". It doesn't necessarily work that way. Status is nothing more than other people holding you in high regard socially. I could be driving a 1986 corolla hatchback and I would still have status because people ASSUME things and with a little bit of this and a little of that it isn't difficult to achieve high status WITHOUT A PENNY.

I'm going to have to side w/ STR8UP on this one. Status doesn't come from just having money. I don't have money, I don't have a car, but I have through the roof social status. Why, because of what I am perceived to be and how I conduct myself (my character as you put it).

Everyone is soooo quick to jump on anything I say an blow it way out of proportion. Who said I RELY on my status to pick up women? I have stated this many times before.....most women become attracted to be BEFORE they know where I live or what I drive or what I do. Why? Because I possess traits that are attractive to the opposite sex, some of which stem FROM my status, some of which resulted IN my being able to attain status. It all feeds on itself.

Its the same thing with me, nobody in this town, has a clue what I do. However women throw themselves at me. Its from a multitude of factors, my character/personality, my image in society's eyes, my looks to a degree but most important of all, my charisma. They all feed off of each other.

I'm not saying Latinoman is wrong. I think both sides are right, your just looking at it from different perspectives and both parties are biased by their past perceptions.

 

[Latinoman]

No offense...but you said that everybody knew you, because of your T.V. COMERCIALS and the models in it. That does not sound like a person without money as in this case, in order to reach that social status (and support it), you need $$$.

 

[Latinoman]

MacCoy....no offense, but if I'm not mistaking (I probably are)...you were the same dude that was having issues with the "room mate" that was your ex-girlfriend and that didn't want to be romantically involved with you.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo Troops,



On this subject of STATUS...


STATUS, like "confidence", can be situation and/or environmentally specific.

How we perceive OURSELVES is the most important thing, but having said that----In the eyes of other's, our status is often measured against what that particular person in that particular situation may "value".

For instance, to a Meth-addict, the drug pusher may be the most "celebrated" person in the room.

But to a musician, an award-winning music producer might be the most "celebrated" person in the room.

As I'm sure you can see, in the above mentioned scenarios, there CAN be great potential to be "targeted" and "taken advantage of" by the supposedly lower status person. But in cases such as when one sports afficionado gravitates towards another sports afficionado, then there seems to be at least "a little" less of a likelihood that one person is being "targeted" and "taken advantage of" by the other.

Now, I do realize that ANYBODY can be used, ganked, or taken for whatever it is that other's perceive as giving them status, and that NO ONE is totally immune. But what I'm stressing here are the scenarios that either RAISE or LOWER the potential for that happening-----and to point out just how fragile a comfort zone "STATUS" may actually provide us in some cases.

We can better protect our "hearts" and our own best interests usually by developing an ability to remain objective in our self-assessments. If we can resist the temptation to believe our own "hype" overly much, we can then focus on opening our awareness to the extent where we can tell the difference between people who want to be around us for "who we ARE" as opposed to just wanting to be around us for "what they may be able to GET from us".

I believe that this is what Latinoman and many others here have expressed warnings about------the potential TRAP that men may fall into IF they FAIL to discern just WHY people (certain women) are flocking around them.

But AGAIN I say----it's HOW we perceive OURSELVES that is far more important than "just" how we think we're being perceived by others.:yes:


Peace...one day.

 

[MacAvoy]

MacCoy....no offense, but if I'm not mistaking (I probably are)...you were the same dude that was having issues with the "room mate" that was your ex-girlfriend and that didn't want to be romantically involved with you.

Your mistaken.

 

[STR8UP]

No offense...but you said that everybody knew you, because of your T.V. COMERCIALS and the models in it. That does not sound like a person without money as in this case, in order to reach that social status (and support it), you need $$$.

95% of the world can't see the forest for the trees. This is the perfect example. When you have my vantage point you realize that a lot of what you see ISN'T as it appears.

Do you have any idea what the economy is like right now?

My sales are down 50%.

Know what that means?

That means that I go to work, sometimes 70 hours a week, and I don't get a paycheck.

That's right, I work for free.

Times are tough. Even for people WHO OWN BUSINESSES.

I don't make a penny right now on my retail business. According to your definition of status, I SHOULD HAVE NONE! Yet, if I try to explain to someone, even someone I KNOW, that things are tight right now, I get a "Yea....RIIIGHHHHT...."

I can't get rid of my status! Even if my business is losing money! I could show everyone my financial statements and they still wouldn't believe me. Why? BECAUSE I"M ON TV!!!

I can buy 30 minutes of PRIME TIME airtime for just over $1,000 PER MONTH. That means I if I wanted to, I could get in front of the camera and jump around and act like a fool, and sell 30 second ad spots to businesses to cover the cost of production, NEVER TURN A PROFIT, and I would be a local CELEBRITY with status out the ass, just because I would be known as the writer/director/producer/actor/owner/WHATEVER, of a television show.

If my objective were to get laid every night of the week, I could EASILY manufacture more fame and status than most people will ever dream of. But you know what? That's not what I live for.

You would have everyone believe that you know me, but that's not what I'm all about.

 

[Last Man Standing]

But AGAIN I say----it's HOW we perceive OURSELVES that is far more important than "just" how we think we're being perceived by others.:yes:


Peace...one day.

Absolutely VU!! We are responsible for our own souls and our own actions - we must internalize our behavior and must decide what is the right thing to do! We are given genetic instruction, by our creator, to determine this - and it is called our conscious!! Our value is NOT determined by others, but rather through how we align ourselves with this genetic truth within us!!!

Str8up, I understand your situation and hope things go well and reflect your sincere efforts! We are heading for an economic collapse!!

 

[Latinoman]

95% of the world can't see the forest for the trees. This is the perfect example. When you have my vantage point you realize that a lot of what you see ISN'T as it appears.

Do you have any idea what the economy is like right now?

My sales are down 50%.

Know what that means?

That means that I go to work, sometimes 70 hours a week, and I don't get a paycheck.

That's right, I work for free.

Times are tough. Even for people WHO OWN BUSINESSES.

I don't make a penny right now on my retail business. According to your definition of status, I SHOULD HAVE NONE! Yet, if I try to explain to someone, even someone I KNOW, that things are tight right now, I get a "Yea....RIIIGHHHHT...."

I can't get rid of my status! Even if my business is losing money! I could show everyone my financial statements and they still wouldn't believe me. Why? BECAUSE I"M ON TV!!!

I can buy 30 minutes of PRIME TIME airtime for just over $1,000 PER MONTH. That means I if I wanted to, I could get in front of the camera and jump around and act like a fool, and sell 30 second ad spots to businesses to cover the cost of production, NEVER TURN A PROFIT, and I would be a local CELEBRITY with status out the ass, just because I would be known as the writer/director/producer/actor/owner/WHATEVER, of a television show.

If my objective were to get laid every night of the week, I could EASILY manufacture more fame and status than most people will ever dream of. But you know what? That's not what I live for.

You would have everyone believe that you know me, but that's not what I'm all about.

I am not disagreeing with that. I know you are going through tough times (if you are in real estate and working 70+ hours a week). And I hope things go better for you in that area.

But my original point is the same...take a break from HOSTING at your place...and that should be the determine factor of WHO IS TRULY your friend and WHO IS TRULY interested in you. You don't need to HOST...as you already have social proof.

 

[STR8UP]

**update**

For anyone who cares.....

Model chick stood me up on Friday, then she sends me an apology last night begging me not to be pissed (sh!t test anyone???), asking what I was doing tonight.

So I replied that a bunch of people were going out and asked if she was coming. She says yes, and tells me to text her when I figured out where we were gonna be.

I go out with my friends and pretty much forget about her. Then she starts texting me asking where I was at, who i was with, blah, blah.

Long story short- I got tired of texting a bunch of BS so I started fukking with her, telling her I was with a bunch of hot lesbians (which was partially true, haha), and that she "needed to hurry up and get over here cause they were making out" LOL

Anyway, she responds to that text saying "Be there in 10 min". Then she sends "Have a shot of Patron ready, chilled, with a lime, no salt" to which i responded "Hmmm....what's in it for me?". She replies "U will see". So I shoot back "Ok let me see then we'll talk about that shot".

Don't you just love the sh!t tests?

20 minutes later I get a text "I'm going to jail" Something about her friend having a suspended license and they were having to deal with the cops.

By that time the fun had worn off, so I just stopped responding. She sends a couple more messages over the next hour, and then at 4am, I'm crawling into bed and she sends me something saying she's ok and that she would hit me up tomorrow.

Man, am I a magnet for flaky ass women or what? This one's a piece of work, I tell ya.

At least now I know not to take her seriously. Seems not only is this one a grade "A" flake, but a little too much drama for my taste.

I'm not putting any effort into banging her, I know that much.

 

[iqqi]

For anyone who cares.....

Model chick stood me up on Friday, then she sends me an apology last night begging me not to be pissed (sh!t test anyone???), asking what I was doing tonight.

So I replied that a bunch of people were going out and asked if she was coming. She says yes, and tells me to text her when I figured out where we were gonna be.

latinoman called it. she isn't interested in YOU, she is interested in your lifestyle and your friends and your connections, not YOU personally and alone.

But thanks for being honest and keeping us updated. You really need to make some adjustments in your life somewhere!

 

[STR8UP]

latinoman called it. she isn't interested in YOU, she is interested in your lifestyle and your friends and your connections, not YOU personally and alone.

Which is why this chick will only ever be a booty call, IF that ever happens.

I don't let people like this into my life and call them friends.

My real friends DO NOT take advantage of me. Matter of fact, last night I offered to let one sleep on my couch since he had to work early the next day close to where I live, and he declined because he knows i have no privacy in my new place and didn't want to impose. He is a good friend and owns a mini-mansion....he has no need to take advantage of me.

And that's how the rest of my friends are. Trust me....I've been around long enough to know the score with people.

 

[cordoncordon]

Str8up,

Look, I have tried, I mean I have really tried to help you understand this path of destruction you are following. But it just never ever never ever until inifinity NEVER seems to sink in!

Fact: The majority of people you have hung out with on a peripheral level, the hangers on, and are continuing to hang out with, are LOSERS!!! I'm not talking about your close good friends. I'm talking about the people you casually see. How can you not see this? Just about every one of your posts deals with strippers, drugs, heavy drinking, irrational behavior like last night. I mean what happened with this chick was so the proverbial writing on the wall. We could all see that, but you. And that is the main theme to your social life right now.

And the thing is, you could do SO much better. You seem successful in other aspects of life. You seem like a nice guy. You seem smart. Branch out! There are better women out there then porno/stripper girls you meet at work! I mean I have a very active social life. We go out to bars, clubs, dinners, movies, concerts, etc etc etc, and NONE of what seems to happen to you on an almost weekly basis ever happens to my gf and I.

It's all about the social circle you hang with. The people you call your friends. If you continue to party with this sort of crowd, things will never change. You will never meet a honest, respectable, mature, GROWN WOMAN! You will meet flakes, and bimbos, and slvts, and losers.

It's your choice.

 

[cordoncordon]

And btw, thank you for your honesty.

 

[ketostix]

Str8up, I still disagree with iqqi and a few others who are still beating the low-quality woman drum and blaming you. Young hot women flake. Flaky girls flake. That's what they do. Now granted that doesn't make it right or absolve her from being a piece of crap flake, but church girls flake and everything in between.

True she lacks integrity, but the point is she came on to you the other weekend. You should of stuck when the iron was hot but as you explained you couldn't because of the circumstances. I don't see you as being naive to the score. You were confronted with a situation and you played it out, and she just didn't deliver. The fact that she is a little shady and flaky is not really a statement on you. You weren't putting all your eggs in her basket or expecting her to be LTR material.

 

[STR8UP]

I appreciate the concern cordon, but I'm beginning to notice that it's mostly guys who are IN RELATIONSHIPS (yes, that means you too Latinoman) who share your POV.

Of course you aren't going to encounter the same people I do, because you are with someone, and the dynamic changes.

When I was with my last LTR I still went out and did things, but I hung out with different people. Now that I am single, it's a different ballgame.

Str8up, I still disagree with iqqi and a few others who are still beating the low-quality woman drum and blaming you. Young hot women flake. Flaky girls flake. That's what they do. Now granted that doesn't make it right or absolve her from being a piece of crap flake, but church girls flake and everything in between.

True she lacks integrity, but the point is she came on to you the other weekend. You should of stuck when the iron was hot but as you explained you couldn't because of the circumstances. I don't see you as being naive to the score. You were confronted with a situation and you played it out, and she just didn't deliver. The fact that she is a little shady and flaky is not really a statement on you. You weren't putting all your eggs in her basket or expecting her to be LTR material.

To be perfectly honest with you this makes me wonder how I have had such a run of flakes lately.

I'm hoping it's just a little bad luck cause this is the first time in my life I have had to deal with it to this level, and especially with chicks who have expressed such blatant interest.

 

[cordoncordon]

I appreciate the concern cordon, but I'm beginning to notice that it's mostly guys who are IN RELATIONSHIPS (yes, that means you too Latinoman) who share your POV.

Of course you aren't going to encounter the same people I do, because you are with someone, and the dynamic changes.

When I was with my last LTR I still went out and did things, but I hung out with different people. Now that I am single, it's a different ballgame.

Point taken.

Perhaps you and the IQQster could hang out. I would love to see her in person. I'm sure it would be a million laughs and stories.

 

[iqqi]

^^ I am pretty fun. Especially when I am drunk!

 

[STR8UP]

Perhaps you and the IQQster could hang out. I would love to see her in person. I'm sure it would be a million laughs and stories.

We should have a DJ convention. Rollo, Karma, and Deep Dish all live close, so the rest of you should head this way for a weekend. That way I can introduce all of the skeptics to my friends so they can see once and for all they aren't a bunch of crack wh0re alcoholic porn stars.

On second thought, I take that back. That might be a little weird.......

 

[MacAvoy]

We should have a DJ convention. Rollo, Karma, and Deep Dish all live close, so the rest of you should head this way for a weekend. That way I can introduce all of the skeptics to my friends so they can see once and for all they aren't a bunch of crack wh0re alcoholic porn stars.

You had me interested until the last line.