ALERT: GF likely cheating on me. Help me think of a good way to dump her.

[Vice]

Just found some incriminating Facebook messages. She initiated contact with some dude she met at an old job, and they talked about how they liked each other when they worked there. The conversation went slightly PG-13, but what ended up happening was a phone number exchange. She offered to "come out side if he felt like stopping by". She also mentioned wanting to "ravage him in a storage closet or something."

Oh, AND she's apparently working until midnight tonight. She was supposed to get off at 10pm.

So yeah, pretty good chance that she's messing around on me, or is about to start.

Which is good, because I needed a reason to break up with her.

Here's the catch: She is from out of state, about 1000 miles away. She lives with me at my parents house, so breaking up with her is more complex than normal (I've learned my lesson).

Thankfully, we will be going back up to her state to visit her parents for the holidays.

My plan was to arrive, drop her off, and leave into the night. The return trip will suck, 12 hours of driving, but that's the cost of me not thinking out the logistics of dating her. My phone will be turned off and silent so it won't distract me, since I know I will be getting frantic phone calls and texts.

If she can't get off work to go see her parents, things will be easier. She's moving to a coworkers house to live in when I move out of town for college, in which I'll simply go no contact.

Lessons learned: Don't live with women. Don't have them move far away to meet you. Don't expect them to be faithful.

Does anyone have any suggestions to make this dish served colder? I'm not going to offer any explanation. Everything will seem very nice on the car drive up, excited to see family, and then the next morning I'm GONE. No note. Nothing.

Again, this is a GOOD thing. I now have a reason to dump her, which was the plan anyway since I'll be in college. Still, I'm surprised that this is happening, but I AM becoming lazy, boring, and too focused on school. It will be nice to get back in the dating grind.

 

[denverfan110]

She offered to "come out side if he felt like stopping by."

Oh no worries there that could have been a friendly gesture..

She also mentioned wanting to "ravage him in a storage closet or something."

Ah.

 

[Vice]

Oh, and this girl also isn't on birth control, so the stress of waiting for her period to come along won't be there either.

It'll be such a relief to be independent again.

Not to mention this will be my first "******* move" of my career. The girl will probably be in love with me forever due to this. I think RooshV or Heartiste mentioned something about "******* moves".

 

[DarkDetective50]

Excellent plan, dude. Depending on how long before you have to take her to her house, I'd say just act like everything is normal and smile like nothing's wrong so she doesn't suspect your plan. No matter what she does, just keep your cool until that day when you can drop her off like dirty garbage. Yuck.

 

[Checkmate12]

Vice, props to you for having the maturity to get out clean and go ghost. I personally don't think I could dump a chick whom I caught cheating without first having the satisfaction of calling her out on it.

If it were me, I'd at least leave her with a note containing a one-liner like "Sorry, didn't think we'd work out as I generally prefer beds to storage closets." Just so she knows she's been caught and there's nothing she can do about it because you're already 1000 miles away. Mwahahaha

 

[El Suave]

My reply I s a little bit different. You are younger than I am, people used to be different then.
I would tell her to get a car and go there on her own. I don't have the patience or the nerves to see her again. Disrespected me and it's time to go. All good things come to an end, if pushed in that direction.
I would let her take the 12 hour drive on her own and think about what she did. Not my problem!

 

[HumbleNinja]

Just found some incriminating Facebook messages. She initiated contact with some dude she met at an old job, and they talked about how they liked each other when they worked there. The conversation went slightly PG-13, but what ended up happening was a phone number exchange. She offered to "come out side if he felt like stopping by". She also mentioned wanting to "ravage him in a storage closet or something."

Oh, AND she's apparently working until midnight tonight. She was supposed to get off at 10pm.

So yeah, pretty good chance that she's messing around on me, or is about to start.

Which is good, because I needed a reason to break up with her.

Here's the catch: She is from out of state, about 1000 miles away. She lives with me at my parents house, so breaking up with her is more complex than normal (I've learned my lesson).

Thankfully, we will be going back up to her state to visit her parents for the holidays.

My plan was to arrive, drop her off, and leave into the night. The return trip will suck, 12 hours of driving, but that's the cost of me not thinking out the logistics of dating her. My phone will be turned off and silent so it won't distract me, since I know I will be getting frantic phone calls and texts.

If she can't get off work to go see her parents, things will be easier. She's moving to a coworkers house to live in when I move out of town for college, in which I'll simply go no contact.

Lessons learned: Don't live with women. Don't have them move far away to meet you. Don't expect them to be faithful.

Does anyone have any suggestions to make this dish served colder? I'm not going to offer any explanation. Everything will seem very nice on the car drive up, excited to see family, and then the next morning I'm GONE. No note. Nothing.

Again, this is a GOOD thing. I now have a reason to dump her, which was the plan anyway since I'll be in college. Still, I'm surprised that this is happening, but I AM becoming lazy, boring, and too focused on school. It will be nice to get back in the dating grind.

I'd do exactly what you're planning on doing. Act like everything is fine, you're excited to be going to see her parents/ or back to school. And just go complete ghost on her. She'll most definitely be wondering what happened and will try to contact you /explain etc. Answer NOTHING. Do not call, text, email etc. simply go ghost. It will fvck with her regardless of if she cares or not.

Don't be surpised (if you ever do find out) that when she's back home etc. Her ex-coworker came over to "comfort" her while she feeds him her BS side of the story. What will happen by what you've done is either possibly fvck her head up and blow it for the other dude or she'll wind up his new girlfriend/fb in which she'll convince him of her BS and that'll end..Either way she'll possibly try to contact you behind his back or if she doesn't wind up with the dude.

Never let them see emotion or you getting mad. You counter their crap with disappearence and silence.

Consider her "storage closet" message a message for you to clean out your closet so to speak and get rid of her azz.

 

[El Suave]

why is everybody on this post chickening out? Tell her it's time to go and it was fun. Nothing lasts for ever....Why would you drive for 12 hours to dump her. OK, go for it and tell me how awkward it was doing it and then think of how you'll do it the next time. I'm telling you not to waste you're time.

Edit: It's not about screwing with her head. It's about what's right and wrong!!!!

 

[Jair213]

My reply I s a little bit different. You are younger than I am, people used to be different then.
I would tell her to get a car and go there on her own. I don't have the patience or the nerves to see her again. Disrespected me and it's time to go. All good things come to an end, if pushed in that direction.
I would let her take the 12 hour drive on her own and think about what she did. Not my problem!

I was about to say the same sh!!ttt

Why the hell would you even drive her there.

Fvck this bish bro.

Put her on the greyhound or train.

 

[HumbleNinja]

If the chick has been living there a while it could be more difficult to get rid of her. Who knows what the laws are. If she moves to her friends fine.

If a chick is willing to cheat on you you're just giving her more ammo to "justify" her own actions against you to some other dude, her parents, friends. You aren't going to "show her" anything. If there are any of her friends around she'll make up all kinds of sht he'll possibly have to explain or be questioned on etc.

I'd personally enjoy simply getting rid of her like nothing happened. Better though if she moves when he goes back to school and no contact.

She'll look worse trying to explain what might've happened for him to go ghost than him saying what he saw and the chick, her friends, parents etc. possibly running interference while she plans on leaving anyway at that point.

You get in their head more than getting mad and "telling them off on what's right and wrong". They know what's right and wrong already. Waste of time.

But carry on "telling a chick off" in the end they got a reaction out of you and could care less.

 

[YAboi]

tell her your car is acting up so she should take public transportation. Then go ghost.

 

[Vice]

why is everybody on this post chickening out? Tell her it's time to go and it was fun. Nothing lasts for ever....Why would you drive for 12 hours to dump her. OK, go for it and tell me how awkward it was doing it and then think of how you'll do it the next time. I'm telling you not to waste you're time.

Edit: It's not about screwing with her head. It's about what's right and wrong!!!!

I'm doing the drive because I need to physically get rid of her. Plus I own investment property in her town so I need to do a few things anyway.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

I'm doing the drive because I need to physically get rid of her. Plus I own investment property in her town so I need to do a few things anyway.

I'm with El & Jair drop her ass off at the greyhound station. Shlt 12 hour road trip fvk that! Well it sounds like you made up your mind already. 1000 mile trip atleast try & get some road head. I hit it one last time & leave her a** at the first rest stop. -- js

 

[SmooveMooves]

I wouldn't drive her. Being in a room with somebody you want to smack in the face is hard enough, I could imagine a 12 hr drive. She doesn't deserve your presence.

 

[MartinARMT]

Step 1- acquire trash bags.
Step 2- place girls stuff in to newly acquired trash bags.
Step 3- give trash bags to girl while telling her it's time to move on.
Step 4- move on with life.

Seriously she doesn't deserve better treatment.

 

[dmvdav]

I feel for you, man.

You'll probably end up giving her a ride but that isn't the right move in my opinion. What I see happening is her guilty conscious making her act better than she's ever acted, to try to overcompensate to not get caught, or whatever. That 12 hours will be her being the BEST Gf she's ever been in an attempt to keep you interested. It's could make it very hard to go ghost after spending 12 hours with her like that.
Personally that's what happened to me in a similar situation. Not proud to admit, but I know i'm not the only one. Girls tend to act nicer to avoid causing suspicion

Or she'll notice you acting weird, and find a way to get it out of you. You'll blow your cover and end up talking about it, getting in a fight, or worse, "working it out." Then you end up saying more than you intended, and ruining the effect you were going for.

It's one thing to say, "it's just 12 hours and then it's over"
than to actually sit next to her for 12 hours with all of that inside.

 

[Vice]

I feel for you, man.

You'll probably end up giving her a ride but that isn't the right move in my opinion. What I see happening is her guilty conscious making her act better than she's ever acted, to try to overcompensate to not get caught, or whatever. That 12 hours will be her being the BEST Gf she's ever been in an attempt to keep you interested. It's could make it very hard to go ghost after spending 12 hours with her like that.
Personally that's what happened to me in a similar situation. Not proud to admit, but I know i'm not the only one. Girls tend to act nicer to avoid causing suspicion

Or she'll notice you acting weird, and find a way to get it out of you. You'll blow your cover and end up talking about it, getting in a fight, or worse, "working it out." Then you end up saying more than you intended, and ruining the effect you were going for.

It's one thing to say, "it's just 12 hours and then it's over"
than to actually sit next to her for 12 hours with all of that inside.

Thanks for the advice, but I have the restraint to keep a lid on it. I'm not very emotional and I don't have any desire to speak to her about the issue.

Another touch I was thinking about was to hand her or leave her an envelope with the messages between them, with the most interesting parts highlighted.

I have a friend in the area I can stay with, plus a few 2 year old plates. Im going to inspect my property, give the plates a shot, and get out.

 

[Kbomb]

Good luck OP. If it was me I would make sure all of her **** was out of my house. Go ghost, but keep evidence of the messages. She might try and sabotage you here and there and it will always help to have evidence lying around to back your story.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Playa, use logic in the game my brother. If you plan on really dropping her and going "no contact" (cut the bvtch off completely) then why would you waste 24 whole hours driving up there and back? What you need to do is just be honest with her. Pack up all her stuff and put it outside (or in the garage if your feeling nice) and then tell her that your done with her and she needs to leave. That simple dog.

If you have investment property in her town go to her town and handle your business but you need to cut this girl off immedietly. You don't need to drive her anywhere. At this point she should be the past.

You know the answer to your own question. You just have to go through with it.

 

[LandingWood]

Tell her to give you some head and if it's good you'll bring her somewhere special. Then print out Google maps directions to her house after she finishes.