After giving it some thought, turns out my fear of rejection isn't *really* a fear of rejection

[SW15]

you will eventually reach a bottleneck where your phobias and traumas will hold you back, as you won’t know what to do with the IOIs you receive.

He has gotten there and likely got there a long time ago.

while you work on addressing those deeper issues, there’s no reason you can’t also focus on improving these variables. The opportunity cost of not doing so is simply too high, and progress in one area can often complement progress in another.

Agree

 

[GoodMan32]

IOIs will come and then they will come in abundance. How to do it is to keep the focus on LMS. The first ones you see will be really over the top obvious because you don't recognize the discreet ones. To get those over the top ones, really push on the LMS, it works for everyone at some level. Game is great... really hard to do without any success at game. The way to break the pattern is LMS, go hard at it.

A female coworker I worked with back in 2019-20 did the following:

-Asked me stuff like "Do you have a wife/girlfriend?"
-Would often pause her work to check me out
-Drew a picture of me holding a bouquet of flowers when she was supposed to be working

Sounds pretty obvious. Yet I didn't make a move because of how many times I've been wrong before (plus, at work, there's no wiggle room for being wrong)

If anything, the more obvious the clues are, the less likely I am to act (because the more obvious I think the clues are, the more of an autistic idiot I'm going to feel like if I turn out to be wrong)

 

[GoodMan32]

He has gotten there and likely got there a long time ago.



Agree

You're damn right when you say I've already reached the bottleneck where I'm afraid to act on IOIs.

 

[GoodMan32]

I came across an interesting article on the topic of acting/failing to act on IOIs:

https://medium.com/write-a-catalyst...n-who-missed-womens-flirty-signs-24268543e80c

The following comment took the words right out of my mouth:

 

[BPH]

I came across an interesting article on the topic of acting/failing to act on IOIs:

https://medium.com/write-a-catalyst...n-who-missed-womens-flirty-signs-24268543e80c

The following comment took the words right out of my mouth:

View attachment 13800

This is the last comment I'm going to make on your posts, because I'm tired of seeing your bullsh** at the top of my recent feed whenever I come to this forum.

You have a choice.

You could turn off the computer, start going to the gym, start approaching women in real life, and fail over and over again until you eventually start to make progress.

Or...

You could keep doing what you're doing by telling people why you can't do things, read material online like this stupid article that gives you an excuse to be miserable, and stay where you are in life wondering why you can't get the women you want as if we aren't slapping you in the face with the answer.

There are two ways men can approach hardship in life; they can avoid it, or they can overcome it. So far you are opting for the former.

Is it hard to make these changes? Yes. Will you be extremely uncomfortable? Yes. Are you going to be doubting yourself the entire way? Yes. But if you stick with making adjustments long enough without deviating it is almost statistically impossible for you not to succeed.

Because right now, fundamentally, you are a pu**y; you are not attractive, you are not confident, you are not successful. And yet you seem more content with spending your days on this forum complaining in a multitude of slightly different ways rather than doing anything meaningful in the real world about them.

You are not entitled to sex. You are not entitled to love. You are not entitled to children, happiness, a wife, marriage, anything. Nobody is coming to save you.

So either save yourself, and start doing something about it, or shut up and stop wasting everybody's time so we can focus on people who will act on the advice they're given.

 

[crowolf]

What's all this yappin' about? Either you are a man and find a way to go out there and do it. Or you are a weakling who is maybe not destined to procreate. No amount of excuses or theorizing will help you.

 

[Gamisch]

I came across an interesting article on the topic of acting/failing to act on IOIs:

https://medium.com/write-a-catalyst...n-who-missed-womens-flirty-signs-24268543e80c

The following comment took the words right out of my mouth:

View attachment 13800

This is how women collectively literally separate the men from the boys. Because in this boys- men example the boys are focused on how scared they are ,while the men aren't afraid to go and get it. Every woman that rejected you proofed a fantastic service to the next one you don't dare to approach. Not to be a d1ck, just harsh facts.

Being a man isn't supposed to be easy. In no way shape or form. And you found that article only because that's what you're looking for on Google....cmon now.

We're running in circles bro..it's time to get the the next phase where you'll be DOING the work that needs to be done. Basically it's a one way street from here on: you either stay exactly where you are now, or you take the advice given and move towards whatever your goal is( I guess women).

 

[GoodMan32]

This is how women collectively literally separate the men from the boys. Because in this boys- men example the boys are focused on how scared they are ,while the men aren't afraid to go and get it. Every woman that rejected you proofed a fantastic service to the next one you don't dare to approach. Not to be a d1ck, just harsh facts.

Being a man isn't supposed to be easy. In no way shape or form. And you found that article only because that's what you're looking for on Google....cmon now.

We're running in circles bro..it's time to get the the next phase where you'll be DOING the work that needs to be done. Basically it's a one way street from here on: you either stay exactly where you are now, or you take the advice given and move towards whatever your goal is( I guess women).

I mentioned on a past post that I've been wrong 100% of the time when I've expressed interest in a woman based on (what I thought were) IOIs.

It's not a matter of being a boy vs man; it's a matter of logic. Why bother acting on IOIs if I've gotten it wrong every single time in the past? What reason do I have to think it will somehow go differently the next time I act on a perceived IOI?

If my track record is any indictor, the next woman I refuse to approach would have turned me down anyway. So I'm not missing out on anything by refusing to approach her (oh wait, there is one thing I'm missing out on: an opportunity to be humiliated)

I get that being a man isn't supposed to be easy. Here's the thing: If I got it wrong 50% of the time (or, hell, even if I got it wrong 70% of the time) when acting on perceived IOIs, I'd be more open to acting on IOIs. But we're talking about a 100% failure rate.

Oh yeah, and as for the article? It landed in my Gmail inbox. The author is a poster on this forum by the way. He shared the full article last time I linked his work on here (since I'm not a member of Medium, I'm unable to read the full article; only a snippet). Perhaps he'll do the same again if he sees my post.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I mentioned on a past post that I've been wrong 100% of the time when I've expressed interest in a woman based on (what I thought were) IOIs.

It's not a matter of being a boy vs man; it's a matter of logic. Why bother acting on IOIs if I've gotten it wrong every single time in the past? What reason do I have to think it will somehow go differently the next time I act on a perceived IOI?

If my track record is any indictor, the next woman I refuse to approach would have turned me down anyway. So I'm not missing out on anything by refusing to approach her (oh wait, there is one thing I'm missing out on: an opportunity to be humiliated)

I get that being a man isn't supposed to be easy. Here's the thing: If I got it wrong 50% of the time (or, hell, even if I got it wrong 70% of the time) when acting on perceived IOIs, I'd be more open to acting on IOIs. But we're talking about a 100% failure rate.

Oh yeah, and as for the article? It landed in my Gmail inbox. The author is a poster on this forum by the way. He shared the full article last time I linked his work on here (since I'm not a member of Medium, I'm unable to read the full article; only a snippet). Perhaps he'll do the same again if he sees my post.

Actually, your reasoning contains a logical flaw known as the gambler’s fallacy. This is the mistaken belief that past outcomes influence future probabilities in unrelated events. Your perception of a “100% failure rate” with IOIs does not mean you’re doomed to fail again. Each interaction with a woman is independent and has its own unique context, so the odds of success (or failure) aren’t connected to previous experiences.

For instance, just because you’ve misread IOIs before doesn’t mean every future IOI will also be misinterpreted. Each situation involves different variables—your looks, money, status, personality, and even the frequency of your approaches. We also explained how to increase the odds in your favour by improving these variables or simply increasing your approach rate, which can shift the outcome in a positive direction.

However, it’s also worth noting that unresolved phobias, traumas, or fears around rejection may be affecting how you perceive and respond to IOIs. These emotional blocks might make it harder for you to act confidently. Unless you address these underlying issues, your success rate will feel more randomized because you’re not working with the full range of tools available to you.

In conclusion, your reasoning is illogical because it assumes a pattern where none exists and overlooks actionable steps that could improve your results.