After giving it some thought, turns out my fear of rejection isn't *really* a fear of rejection

[SW15]

you will eventually reach a bottleneck where your phobias and traumas will hold you back, as you won’t know what to do with the IOIs you receive.

He has gotten there and likely got there a long time ago.

while you work on addressing those deeper issues, there’s no reason you can’t also focus on improving these variables. The opportunity cost of not doing so is simply too high, and progress in one area can often complement progress in another.

Agree

 

[GoodMan32]

IOIs will come and then they will come in abundance. How to do it is to keep the focus on LMS. The first ones you see will be really over the top obvious because you don't recognize the discreet ones. To get those over the top ones, really push on the LMS, it works for everyone at some level. Game is great... really hard to do without any success at game. The way to break the pattern is LMS, go hard at it.

A female coworker I worked with back in 2019-20 did the following:

-Asked me stuff like "Do you have a wife/girlfriend?"
-Would often pause her work to check me out
-Drew a picture of me holding a bouquet of flowers when she was supposed to be working

Sounds pretty obvious. Yet I didn't make a move because of how many times I've been wrong before (plus, at work, there's no wiggle room for being wrong)

If anything, the more obvious the clues are, the less likely I am to act (because the more obvious I think the clues are, the more of an autistic idiot I'm going to feel like if I turn out to be wrong)

 

[GoodMan32]

He has gotten there and likely got there a long time ago.



Agree

You're damn right when you say I've already reached the bottleneck where I'm afraid to act on IOIs.