After giving it some thought, turns out my fear of rejection isn't *really* a fear of rejection

GoodMan32

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of course, but that's just life. Gotta accept it. If she wants a guy under 25 who is very tall with light eyes, great jaw line, and a good head of hair then that's gonna put a lot of guys $hit out of luck on a cold approach and they'll be left wondering why their PUA routine didn't work lol.

I feel like doing the 'wrong things' is only really a concern if someone has real mental issues. Maybe they can't make eye contact for love nor money and just come off as extremely odd. But i'm assuming/hoping that that's just not gonna be the case for 95% of guys.
You make a good point. If a guy strikes out when cold-approaching, it doesn't always mean his PUA tactics were faulty. He might simply not be her type.

Unfortunately, I'm probably in the 5% of men who come across as extremely odd.

Looks are more important than personality. A lot of the 18-24 yer old best looking women will be looking for similarly aged men with the features you mentioned. Those features also are going to help a lot of 25-39 year old men too.

A lot of PUA routines are focused on personality, which is far less of a factor than looks. PUA routines including dressing, which is a part of looks. The classic 1990s-2000s era PUAs didn't emphasize lifting weights and fitness regimens as much, though most of them would have acknowledged it was an advantage.



There are many neurotypicals who have mild to no mental issues who often do the wrong things with women.

It's worth acknowledging again that women operate on emotion. With Millennials and Gen Z women, it is easier to give "the ick" or not "all the feelz". Millennial and Gen Z women tend to demand a lot from men. Men can be dismissed/rejected over some rather minor things.
As far as features, one thing I've noticed is some Latinas are wet for my hazel eyes.

It makes sense when you think about it. A lot of Latin American countries operate under somewhat of a caste system (and the sexually exciting men on telenovelas tend to be Spaniard Europeans)

The fact Millennials and Gen Z are overly picky is (luckily) not as much of a concern to me (as I prefer Gen X/Boomers)
 

Vanderdonck

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When I first moved to my current state at 23, I went through a phase where I'd invite total strangers in public to come over for sex. Not one accepted my advances. But I was able to make the sex offer to these total strangers with no nervousness whatsoever on my part.

Yet to this day (a decade later), the mere thought of asking out a woman I know well (who's given me IOIs) on a simple date gives me crippling levels of nervousness.

Unfortunately, everything I just said goes 100% against the strategy many have proposed on this forum of only focusing on high interest level gals.

The fact I could ask total strangers for sex (knowing that's a recipe for almost certain rejection), yet can't ask out a woman I know well (even if she's given me an IOI) goes to show I don't fear the rejection itself; what I fear is having to run into the woman after a rejection (I knew I was highly unlikely to run into these total strangers ever again. Yet if I know a woman well, I'm obviously going to run into her again. And just because she's given me an IOI doesn't mean she'll definitely accept my ask out)
This is still fear of rejection. Tantamount to a woman who's a 2 going for a hot guy knowing it was never going to happen - she can always tell herself that. Same effect takes place with any girl going for a male celeb. Or a random guy catcalling a hot woman.

You think too much but still don't see the forest for the trees. Stop overthinking and go outside.
 

GoodMan32

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This is still fear of rejection. Tantamount to a woman who's a 2 going for a hot guy knowing it was never going to happen - she can always tell herself that. Same effect takes place with any girl going for a male celeb. Or a random guy catcalling a hot woman.

You think too much but still don't see the forest for the trees. Stop overthinking and go outside.
Comparing me to a woman who's a 2 on the looks scale is incredibly insulting. I'm well above a 2. Looks aren't my problem (In fact, looks are my one redeeming quality. If looks were all that mattered, I'd be slaying)

At the core, you could call my phobia a fear of rejection. But it's only a fear of a specific type of rejection. As I said, I had no problem risking rejection by asking total strangers for sex.

The suggestion I go outside (and your implication that I'd somehow do better with the ladies if I approached more gals)? I've gone through stretches where I've done approaches. My rejection rate is over 90%.
 

Vanderdonck

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Comparing me to a woman who's a 2 on the looks scale is incredibly insulting. I'm well above a 2. Looks aren't my problem (In fact, looks are my one redeeming quality. If looks were all that mattered, I'd be slaying)

At the core, you could call my phobia a fear of rejection. But it's only a fear of a specific type of rejection. As I said, I had no problem risking rejection by asking total strangers for sex.

The suggestion I go outside (and your implication that I'd somehow do better with the ladies if I approached more gals)? I've gone through stretches where I've done approaches. My rejection rate is over 90%.
It wasn't a comparison, it was an analogy. Taking insult is your choice.

You don't fear going for broke (asking for sex straight up) because you know it won't happen 999 times out of 1000. If it does happen you've risked nothing.
 

SW15

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In fact, looks are my one redeeming quality. If looks were all that mattered, I'd be slaying
Looks are the #1 thing that matters to women. Money, status, and personality matter less.

Your looks are not good enough to offset your money, status, and personality issues.

@BPH has looks that can carry well him well enough as a 6'0" man who is fit/muscular and has good facial aesthetics. @BPH did get signed as a male model.

Looks are not the only reason that @BPH gets laid. His personality is solid. He knows how to use words and he interprets non-verbal cues/covert communications from women well. He is emotionally centered. He doesn't overreact to shiit tests/bad female behavior in both text message interactions and in a real life setting. While looks probably carry @BPH most of the way, the personality factors help finish the job for him.
 

Solomon

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Looks are the #1 thing that matters to women. Money, status, and personality matter less.

Your looks are not good enough to offset your money, status, and personality issues.

@BPH has looks that can carry well him well enough as a 6'0" man who is fit/muscular and has good facial aesthetics. @BPH did get signed as a male model.

Looks are not the only reason that @BPH gets laid. His personality is solid. He knows how to use words and he interprets non-verbal cues/covert communications from women well. He is emotionally centered. He doesn't overreact to shiit tests/bad female behavior in both text message interactions and in a real life setting. While looks probably carry @BPH most of the way, the personality factors help finish the job for him.
Looks might get you laid but looks won't keep a relationship even women get bored of good-looking men with dry personalties
 

BPH

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Looks aren't my problem (In fact, looks are my one redeeming quality. If looks were all that mattered, I'd be slaying)
Dude, you are not a good looking guy.

The stupid thing is it's really easy to change that, but for some reason you are incapable of working out because "I don't wanna".
 

SW15

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The stupid thing is it's really easy to change that, but for some reason you are incapable of working out because "I don't wanna".
I think it is easier to change looks compared to money, status, or personality.

There are some guys who are limited on far they can go with looks improvements. Height is a factor in that.

Being below 6'0" is an impediment to how far one can go with it. 5'9"-5'10" is about the minimum acceptable height for most women.

As a 5'10" guy, I have had experiences where it was perceptible that women felt my height was "ick". It doesn't take much these days to give women an "ick", especially White women.

Dude, you are not a good looking guy.
The posted chest and stomach pic in that thread about his outfit shows that he's not near top tier on looks.
 

What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.

You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

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