After giving it some thought, turns out my fear of rejection isn't *really* a fear of rejection

[GoodMan32]

of course, but that's just life. Gotta accept it. If she wants a guy under 25 who is very tall with light eyes, great jaw line, and a good head of hair then that's gonna put a lot of guys $hit out of luck on a cold approach and they'll be left wondering why their PUA routine didn't work lol.

I feel like doing the 'wrong things' is only really a concern if someone has real mental issues. Maybe they can't make eye contact for love nor money and just come off as extremely odd. But i'm assuming/hoping that that's just not gonna be the case for 95% of guys.

You make a good point. If a guy strikes out when cold-approaching, it doesn't always mean his PUA tactics were faulty. He might simply not be her type.

Unfortunately, I'm probably in the 5% of men who come across as extremely odd.

Looks are more important than personality. A lot of the 18-24 yer old best looking women will be looking for similarly aged men with the features you mentioned. Those features also are going to help a lot of 25-39 year old men too.

A lot of PUA routines are focused on personality, which is far less of a factor than looks. PUA routines including dressing, which is a part of looks. The classic 1990s-2000s era PUAs didn't emphasize lifting weights and fitness regimens as much, though most of them would have acknowledged it was an advantage.



There are many neurotypicals who have mild to no mental issues who often do the wrong things with women.

It's worth acknowledging again that women operate on emotion. With Millennials and Gen Z women, it is easier to give "the ick" or not "all the feelz". Millennial and Gen Z women tend to demand a lot from men. Men can be dismissed/rejected over some rather minor things.

As far as features, one thing I've noticed is some Latinas are wet for my hazel eyes.

It makes sense when you think about it. A lot of Latin American countries operate under somewhat of a caste system (and the sexually exciting men on telenovelas tend to be Spaniard Europeans)

The fact Millennials and Gen Z are overly picky is (luckily) not as much of a concern to me (as I prefer Gen X/Boomers)

 

[Vanderdonck]

When I first moved to my current state at 23, I went through a phase where I'd invite total strangers in public to come over for sex. Not one accepted my advances. But I was able to make the sex offer to these total strangers with no nervousness whatsoever on my part.

Yet to this day (a decade later), the mere thought of asking out a woman I know well (who's given me IOIs) on a simple date gives me crippling levels of nervousness.

Unfortunately, everything I just said goes 100% against the strategy many have proposed on this forum of only focusing on high interest level gals.

The fact I could ask total strangers for sex (knowing that's a recipe for almost certain rejection), yet can't ask out a woman I know well (even if she's given me an IOI) goes to show I don't fear the rejection itself; what I fear is having to run into the woman after a rejection (I knew I was highly unlikely to run into these total strangers ever again. Yet if I know a woman well, I'm obviously going to run into her again. And just because she's given me an IOI doesn't mean she'll definitely accept my ask out)

This is still fear of rejection. Tantamount to a woman who's a 2 going for a hot guy knowing it was never going to happen - she can always tell herself that. Same effect takes place with any girl going for a male celeb. Or a random guy catcalling a hot woman.

You think too much but still don't see the forest for the trees. Stop overthinking and go outside.

 

[GoodMan32]

This is still fear of rejection. Tantamount to a woman who's a 2 going for a hot guy knowing it was never going to happen - she can always tell herself that. Same effect takes place with any girl going for a male celeb. Or a random guy catcalling a hot woman.

You think too much but still don't see the forest for the trees. Stop overthinking and go outside.

Comparing me to a woman who's a 2 on the looks scale is incredibly insulting. I'm well above a 2. Looks aren't my problem (In fact, looks are my one redeeming quality. If looks were all that mattered, I'd be slaying)

At the core, you could call my phobia a fear of rejection. But it's only a fear of a specific type of rejection. As I said, I had no problem risking rejection by asking total strangers for sex.

The suggestion I go outside (and your implication that I'd somehow do better with the ladies if I approached more gals)? I've gone through stretches where I've done approaches. My rejection rate is over 90%.

 

[Vanderdonck]

Comparing me to a woman who's a 2 on the looks scale is incredibly insulting. I'm well above a 2. Looks aren't my problem (In fact, looks are my one redeeming quality. If looks were all that mattered, I'd be slaying)

At the core, you could call my phobia a fear of rejection. But it's only a fear of a specific type of rejection. As I said, I had no problem risking rejection by asking total strangers for sex.

The suggestion I go outside (and your implication that I'd somehow do better with the ladies if I approached more gals)? I've gone through stretches where I've done approaches. My rejection rate is over 90%.

It wasn't a comparison, it was an analogy. Taking insult is your choice.

You don't fear going for broke (asking for sex straight up) because you know it won't happen 999 times out of 1000. If it does happen you've risked nothing.

 

[SW15]

In fact, looks are my one redeeming quality. If looks were all that mattered, I'd be slaying

Looks are the #1 thing that matters to women. Money, status, and personality matter less.

Your looks are not good enough to offset your money, status, and personality issues.

@BPH has looks that can carry well him well enough as a 6'0" man who is fit/muscular and has good facial aesthetics. @BPH did get signed as a male model.

Looks are not the only reason that @BPH gets laid. His personality is solid. He knows how to use words and he interprets non-verbal cues/covert communications from women well. He is emotionally centered. He doesn't overreact to shiit tests/bad female behavior in both text message interactions and in a real life setting. While looks probably carry @BPH most of the way, the personality factors help finish the job for him.

 

[Solomon]

Looks are the #1 thing that matters to women. Money, status, and personality matter less.

Your looks are not good enough to offset your money, status, and personality issues.

@BPH has looks that can carry well him well enough as a 6'0" man who is fit/muscular and has good facial aesthetics. @BPH did get signed as a male model.

Looks are not the only reason that @BPH gets laid. His personality is solid. He knows how to use words and he interprets non-verbal cues/covert communications from women well. He is emotionally centered. He doesn't overreact to shiit tests/bad female behavior in both text message interactions and in a real life setting. While looks probably carry @BPH most of the way, the personality factors help finish the job for him.

Looks might get you laid but looks won't keep a relationship even women get bored of good-looking men with dry personalties

 

[BPH]

Looks aren't my problem (In fact, looks are my one redeeming quality. If looks were all that mattered, I'd be slaying)

Dude, you are not a good looking guy.

The stupid thing is it's really easy to change that, but for some reason you are incapable of working out because "I don't wanna".

 

[SW15]

The stupid thing is it's really easy to change that, but for some reason you are incapable of working out because "I don't wanna".

I think it is easier to change looks compared to money, status, or personality.

There are some guys who are limited on far they can go with looks improvements. Height is a factor in that.

Being below 6'0" is an impediment to how far one can go with it. 5'9"-5'10" is about the minimum acceptable height for most women.

As a 5'10" guy, I have had experiences where it was perceptible that women felt my height was "ick". It doesn't take much these days to give women an "ick", especially White women.

Dude, you are not a good looking guy.

The posted chest and stomach pic in that thread about his outfit shows that he's not near top tier on looks.

 

[Solomon]

You guys think this guy issue is looks? lmfaoooooooooooooooooo

OK I'm done with this thread

*Sips Coffee looking at XRP up 15% In one hour*

 

[BPH]

You guys think this guy issue is looks? lmfaoooooooooooooooooo

OK I'm done with this thread

*Sips Coffee looking at XRP up 15% In one hour*

The problem is he's delusional.

 

[SW15]

You guys think this guy issue is looks?

In terms of looks, money, status, and personality, his biggest issues are around personality. He has issues in all 4 areas.

 

[GoodMan32]

Looks are the #1 thing that matters to women. Money, status, and personality matter less.

Your looks are not good enough to offset your money, status, and personality issues.

@BPH has looks that can carry well him well enough as a 6'0" man who is fit/muscular and has good facial aesthetics. @BPH did get signed as a male model.

Looks are not the only reason that @BPH gets laid. His personality is solid. He knows how to use words and he interprets non-verbal cues/covert communications from women well. He is emotionally centered. He doesn't overreact to shiit tests/bad female behavior in both text message interactions and in a real life setting. While looks probably carry @BPH most of the way, the personality factors help finish the job for him.

The behavioral differences you've outlined circle back to what I've said on posts before: Being an autist really holds me back.

 

[GoodMan32]

Dude, you are not a good looking guy.

The stupid thing is it's really easy to change that, but for some reason you are incapable of working out because "I don't wanna".

One, you have no idea what I look like facially.

Two, I've already explained why working out wouldn't even make a difference in terms of getting dates/non-escort sex.

I think it is easier to change looks compared to money, status, or personality.

There are some guys who are limited on far they can go with looks improvements. Height is a factor in that.

Being below 6'0" is an impediment to how far one can go with it. 5'9"-5'10" is about the minimum acceptable height for most women.

As a 5'10" guy, I have had experiences where it was perceptible that women felt my height was "ick". It doesn't take much these days to give women an "ick", especially White women.



The posted chest and stomach pic in that thread about his outfit shows that he's not near top tier on looks.

In all fairness, the chest/stomach pic wasn't taken from the most flattering angle. When I look in the mirror, I see a decent amount of definition in my chest (which the chest/stomach picture failed to capture)

 

[Gamisch]

Comparing me to a woman who's a 2 on the looks scale is incredibly insulting. I'm well above a 2. Looks aren't my problem (In fact, looks are my one redeeming quality. If looks were all that mattered, I'd be slaying)

At the core, you could call my phobia a fear of rejection. But it's only a fear of a specific type of rejection. As I said, I had no problem risking rejection by asking total strangers for sex.

The suggestion I go outside (and your implication that I'd somehow do better with the ladies if I approached more gals)? I've gone through stretches where I've done approaches. My rejection rate is over 90%.

Let's do the math: Let's say you start with 10 points ;

Your body is shaped like a pear. Minus 3
Your personality is odd. Minus 2
You have no experience. Minus 1
You have no status, hobbies, or anything else that sets you apart. Minus 2

That makes you a 2 in the dating game. Hence your results. Just being real. If you would hit the gym religiously and talk less you could become a 6/7 by 2026 or 2027.

 

[Clockwerk50]

One, you have no idea what I look like facially.

Two, I've already explained why working out wouldn't even make a difference in terms of getting dates/non-escort sex.



In all fairness, the chest/stomach pic wasn't taken from the most flattering angle. When I look in the mirror, I see a decent amount of definition in my chest (which the chest/stomach picture failed to capture)

Bro, not trying to be d!ck about it nor judgemental, but your face is not top tier. Let’s just say your face doesn’t look like a Parisian or Milanese model, and it is not very masculine. The only good thing is that you are not obese. I still rate it 4-6.

 

[BPH]

One, you have no idea what I look like facially.
Two, I've already explained why working out wouldn't even make a difference in terms of getting dates/non-escort sex.

Ahh yes, why would muscles matter...

It's not like they're visual evidence of a man's discipline and ability to protect a woman. It's not like being strong and healthy naturally makes you more confident and attractive. It's not like 90% of men's health or fitness articles focus on getting a 6-pack, and for good reason.

Literally all you'd have to do is go to the gym 3-4 times per week for about an hour, and as long as you don't eat like sh** you would see improvement so fast...but no, you'd rather look like Martin from Role Models.

What do you think is gonna happen man? You're ignoring all the obvious advice, and instead doing what? Going to counseling? Attending speed dating? Reading more material?

You're focusing on all the small sh** that only improves your situation by 0.01% rather than the 99% that EVERYBODY has been telling you.

Like do you REALLY think your problem is your f***ing shirt? Really?

Do you think if Chris Hemsworth or Henry Cavill were wearing that shirt it would make them any less attractive to women? It must be the shirt, not the man, right?

If you're unhappy with your results NOW, it is because they are a reflection of your value in a woman's eyes NOW. If you are unwilling to increase your own value, why would your results improve?

Your autism is not an excuse, at least not to women. If a 10/10 guy has autism, do you think women will care? Fire up any YouTube video about Tinder social experiments and you'll see the most heinous sh** written in these bios and said to these women with zero hesitation on their part when he asks for sex. Conversely, if you're a 0/10 but have your sh** together and DON'T have autism, do you think women will think "oh he looks a melted ice cream, but at least he doesn't have autism"?

Get real man. I hate how much attention and effort your posts have been given by this community, which you continue to drag on by replying to each individual comment - often to the least important part of that comment, as in when you dug up BeExcellent's year-old comment on you looking "above average". Our advice is falling on deaf ears.

You can't work out? What, do you have a physical disability too?

I already posted a workout routine you can follow. You don't even have to think about it. Just sign up at some whatever gym for $10-$20 per month and do it. You don't know how to do a certain exercise? Google it. The weights are heavy and you're sore? Good, that means it's working.

I've never seen somebody spoonfed the same answer by so many different members of this forum only to completely ignore everything and do what you want to do anyway.

Lose the ego. You are not attractive. You look and dress like a youth pastor and I would estimate you weigh 130-150lbs soaking wet. You purposely cut off the bottom part of your bicep profile screenshot to make it look larger than it is. You're not fooling anybody but yourself.

The good news is it is incredibly easy to make massive improvements quickly from the stage you're at. You just have to be willing to turn off the fu**ing computer and do some difficult sh** for a while.

 

[SW15]

Do you think if Chris Hemsworth or Henry Cavill were wearing that shirt it would make them any less attractive to women? It must be the shirt, not the man, right?

They could get away with that shirt. Few men could have gotten away with it.

Your autism is not an excuse, at least not to women. If a 10/10 guy has autism, do you think women will care? Fire up any YouTube video about Tinder social experiments and you'll see the most heinous sh** written in these bios and said to these women with zero hesitation on their part when he asks for sex. Conversely, if you're a 0/10 but have your sh** together and DON'T have autism, do you think women will think "oh he looks a melted ice cream, but at least he doesn't have autism"?

This is on point.

You don't even have to think about it. Just sign up at some whatever gym for $10-$20 per month and do it.

Planet Fitness is now $15 a month.

 

[SW15]

The only good thing is that you are not obese. I still rate it 4-6.

In the best case scenario, a guy who rates a 6 would not be able to offset autistic personality traits.

A guy needs to be in the top 10-15% of looks to offset autism/odd personal quirks.

Without that, a guy won't be able to date effectively.

Based on the OP's mating outcomes, one can guess where his looks are. Not being overweight/obese is his greatest looks accomplishment.

It always comes down to looks, money, status, and personality.