Accepting friendzone from select women

[Robert28]

If you have stuff in common, I don't see the issue. Sometimes(not as often as you think) you can meet women through them (not introduced but incidentally).

Yeah and they’ll sabatoge the fvck out of your chances if they pick up on any romance beginning. She will always listen to her friends over you.

 

[Robert28]

Or a female friend can tip you off about some chick in the social circle that likes you. The chick interested in you may have asked your friend about you; or your friend picked up some very subtle IOIs on her radar that you (as a guy) didn’t necessarily notice.

As women get older they are less likely to do any of that. They become super protective of you because you’ve become a resource to them, it’s not like when you’re both 16.

 

[Mike32ct]

As women get older they are less likely to do any of that. They become super protective of you because you’ve become a resource to them, it’s not like when you’re both 16.

Yeah, you’re right. I noticed that in recent years.

 

[2Rocky]

Guys, there are enough women out there, that you CAN be friends with some of them. Don't be desperate....

 

[bat soup]

I went through a stretch of limiting my personal interactions with women to romantic and sexual. Part of this was ditching Facebook a few years ago when it was getting ubertoxic. Recently I've been contemplating establishing female friends again, and they would be out of the pool of women I sexually pursued, as I almost always pursue women I like. Basically I'm looking at entering their friendzone orbiter cult for casual friendship.

I suppose the approach would be similar to a date but non sexual, like a lunch or public event. Has anyone had much success cultivating a decent circle of female friends on the side? Is it better to start from scratch?

I don't think that it's a good idea. If these are all women that you want to have sex with, then by being "friends" with them you're only going to start catching feelings for them again and then feeling frustrated when they repeatedly reject you.

 

[GreatHornedOwl]

Having tons of female friends is a huge benefit. You're seen with them, other women are wondering what you're situation is with them. You can use it to your advantage in so many different ways. It works even better if the girls don't know each other. And these women should be worried they're in the friendzone with you.

So most of you refuse to be friends with women? What is that doing for you? Are you showing up to bars and social events by yourself? Or with other dudes? That's not exactly what gets another woman's mind turning.

You need to be around women. Platonically or not. It helps you stay socially calibrated. It's like the kid who was always home schooled. He was never around the other kids and because of that has developed extremely poor social skills.

Look at what sparks the most jealousy in men. A woman with a lot of guy friends. Most know it's a huge red flag, but what happens? It's the girl most guys are hung up on. It works the same way for women. A guy who is always around girls has the same effect.

I really don't understand the way some of you think. I read a lot of these posts on this forum and just shake my head.

 

[Guy69JackBlue]

Having tons of female friends is a huge benefit. You're seen with them, other women are wondering what you're situation is with them. You can use it to your advantage in so many different ways. It works even better if the girls don't know each other. And these women should be worried they're in the friendzone with you.

So most of you refuse to be friends with women? What is that doing for you? Are you showing up to bars and social events by yourself? Or with other dudes? That's not exactly what gets another woman's mind turning.

You need to be around women. Platonically or not. It helps you stay socially calibrated. It's like the kid who was always home schooled. He was never around the other kids and because of that has developed extremely poor social skills.

Look at what sparks the most jealousy in men. A woman with a lot of guy friends. Most know it's a huge red flag, but what happens? It's the girl most guys are hung up on. It works the same way for women. A guy who is always around girls has the same effect.

I really don't understand the way some of you think. I read a lot of these posts on this forum and just shake my head.

But after you're "socially calibrated" you may realize you prefer solitude. Nobody is on your side except yourself. Most people are a complete waste of your time. (Like 99.99999% of all the people you'll ever encounter)

If other girls see you with a girl and you're just friends... They may wonder why.

And I believe a lot of these "women" you talk about are actually just young (stupid) girls.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

"select" means that you think they are of value or very attractive. It will not help you one bit as a friend unless they see you as an "attractive" male. That means they would fvck you or they think that you are attractive enough for their friends.

 

[Robert28]

Women friends are fine when you’re a teenager and in college. BUT once you become an adult, I don’t see the point in them. Especially in your 30’s and beyond.

 

[user252009]

Having tons of female friends is a huge benefit. You're seen with them, other women are wondering what you're situation is with them. You can use it to your advantage in so many different ways. It works even better if the girls don't know each other. And these women should be worried they're in the friendzone with you.

So most of you refuse to be friends with women? What is that doing for you? Are you showing up to bars and social events by yourself? Or with other dudes? That's not exactly what gets another woman's mind turning.

You need to be around women. Platonically or not. It helps you stay socially calibrated. It's like the kid who was always home schooled. He was never around the other kids and because of that has developed extremely poor social skills.

Look at what sparks the most jealousy in men. A woman with a lot of guy friends. Most know it's a huge red flag, but what happens? It's the girl most guys are hung up on. It works the same way for women. A guy who is always around girls has the same effect.

I really don't understand the way some of you think. I read a lot of these posts on this forum and just shake my head.

Or other women will think you're gay, because your girl friends act as friends with you

 

[GreatHornedOwl]

Or other women will think you're gay, because your girl friends act as friends with you

So if you happen to be around a female friend you're worried that people will think you're gay?

Are you that insecure dude?

Stop putting women on a pedestal. Just. Stop.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Or a female friend can tip you off about some chick in the social circle that likes you. The chick interested in you may have asked your friend about you; or your friend picked up some very subtle IOIs on her radar that you (as a guy) didn’t necessarily notice.

Alot of em don't like to do that. Because then she loses a orbiter.

 

[Robert28]

Alot of em don't like to do that. Because then she loses a orbiter.

Exactly. 99% of the time women friends ain’t gonna help you out at all. And the other 1% will help you out by setting you up with one of their most undateable friends. Think about it, she doesn’t want to date you but she stands to lose a great deal if someone else dates you.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Exactly. 99% of the time women friends ain’t gonna help you out at all. And the other 1% will help you out by setting you up with one of their most undateable friends. Think about it, she doesn’t want to date you but she stands to lose a great deal if someone else dates you.

Hence your no friends without benefits stance.

 

[Robert28]

Hence your no friends without benefits stance.

Yep. It gets me called all sorts of names when I draw that line in the sand but it helps me avoid the users and time wasters.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Exactly. 99% of the time women friends ain’t gonna help you out at all. And the other 1% will help you out by setting you up with one of their most undateable friends. Think about it, she doesn’t want to date you but she stands to lose a great deal if someone else dates you.

So she ain't really YOUR friend, but you are HER friend.

 

[Robert28]

So she ain't really YOUR friend, but you are HER friend.

People say I’m too rigid in my thinking when it comes to this stuff but I’m really not. I’m speaking as a man that’s been severely burned by this stuff over the years. Yeah a lot of it was my fault BUT I also eventually learned that it just doesn’t work. Befriending a woman that’s not dating one of your buddies is just asking for trouble. Women are the ultimate manipulators and to constantly have to be on your toes around them to guard against it is tiresome. It’s best to avoid it all together. I can’t think back to all the times I’ve done the friends thing and think of any specific time any good came from it. I don’t remember benefiting from the arrangement at all.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Exactly. 99% of the time women friends ain’t gonna help you out at all. And the other 1% will help you out by setting you up with one of their most undateable friends. Think about it, she doesn’t want to date you but she stands to lose a great deal if someone else dates you.

Right, to set you up with her most undateable friend to "prove" her point that you are not worthy. She would never "help" you unless it was helping herself more.

 

[Robert28]

Has this been your experience?

I’ve never had a woman friend try to set me up. They usually want to keep me to themselves and when I meet someone else, they don’t really get mad but you can see the frustration on their face “son of a b!tch he met someone, now who am I going to get to do stuff for me? Dammit all to hell!”.

 

[PRW63]

I went through a stretch of limiting my personal interactions with women to romantic and sexual. Part of this was ditching Facebook a few years ago when it was getting ubertoxic. Recently I've been contemplating establishing female friends again, and they would be out of the pool of women I sexually pursued, as I almost always pursue women I like. Basically I'm looking at entering their friendzone orbiter cult for casual friendship.

I suppose the approach would be similar to a date but non sexual, like a lunch or public event. Has anyone had much success cultivating a decent circle of female friends on the side? Is it better to start from scratch?

You are confusing what "friend" means. It isn't about extremes (either Friend or Enemy). Friend is the "best buddy" that you hang out with one-on-one personally in a platonic way. An aquaintence is someone who is just part of the social circle that you run around with. So you can have woman as acquaintances all you want,...but having them as a friend only works if there is no way in the world that either one of the two of you will ever be attracted to the other (which is nearly impossible).

Also stop being fooled by what friendzone means. It does not mean you are a friend and that if you aren't in the friendzone then you are a stranger. Friendzone means,..."You ain't getting in my pants!...Go away!"