What is intriguing to me is that you knew him 3 years PIOR to your Marriage.
You also stated that you 'left your country with him."
You knew what you were doing, Frustrada.
That's ok, perhaps there were little to no options in your country.
You must look back and be responsible for your actions. Assume your side of the deal , your responsibility.
This is the mature thing to do.
I will say that if there is not Love, or at the very least , AFFECTION, you have little to work with.Little to inspire you and motivate you.
You need to stop threatening him, but begin to explain how you would like the relationship to be.
Give him clear examples of what woudl make you happy, beyond the material and financial.
Also, if you don't have any hobbies, go and start some. Now.
You cannot rely on another person to be responsible for your happiness and your personal entertainment.
A husband is not a magician and not a clown or stand up comedian.
Your happiness comes from inside you.
You must make peace that you may eventually divorce anyway.
Be prepared , but stay positve and hopeful.
If you at least have some affection and still respect him, you owe it to him.
You need to state to him clearly what your NEEDs are. And state to him that certain NEEDs are not being met.
And he does need to understand your needs as a Wife.
Give him the opportunity, not an ultimatum.
You can't just say :Change ! Or I'll divorce you!"
Encourage him to work on addressing what you want out of the relationship, and encourage him and motivate him to move ahead in this way.
It is ok to compliment him on what he does right for you.And it is important to be thankful and appreciative of him and the material things he gives you.
But truth be told, you knew what you were getting into.
Let's not kid ourselves.
It didn't work out that way, now you have resentment and bitterness that you project onto him, when you shoudl be looking at yourself too.
You could talk to him about Masculinity, an what it means to you.
You could direct him to this site.
Give him books to read, and give him opportunites to explore himself and masculinty, and give him a chance to experiment in finding himself as a Man, and feel good that he will be encouraged and supported by you.
Talk to him and encourage him for change, positive change that will benefit you and him.
You must be mature about this, and while you should assert what you want , you cannot do this in a Win/Lose manner.
Show him how it will benefit the both of you, how you can both get what you want. and have a happy marriage together, and make it work and LAST.
Also, remember that men also disconnect emotionally and intimately when their partners constantly Nag and never give praise or appreciation.
Men hate coming home to women who nag, Eveantually men just shut off and tune them out.
And this makes women even more mad, and they nag even more and demand even more time and attention.
Sometimes women go up to their partner while he may be busy and immediatley demand his attention, but he cannot devote his time and attention 100% and this only 'reconfirms" the woman's negative attitude "You see, I know you never listen to me or pay me any attention."
But they approach their men in inopportune times, and don't respect the man's time or whatever activity he may be doing.
So think of the things that you are personally doing wrong, and get straight to the point in examining the ways in which you sabotage the relationship and affect his confidence and intimacy.
Start like this first, before projecting any failure or imagining that he won't do it.
