A woman needs a MANNNN opinion

[Being_the_Don]

Hi guys i Am a woman 26 and married (sadly for 2 years).This is the first time I post here but i have seen some posts, some are true some not, but yes the majority are true. Well my case is difficult I married a man whom I found out that i dont love, For what i have read here He would be classified as AFC ( sadly) at the beggining of the relation i was exited BUt because of the whole situation not for him, now 5 years later (2 of marriage) I think I am going to explode. He is not fun, he is slowwww, lazy, he doesnt like to do any fun things . Anyways I dont want to talk crap about him here. I just want some advise in the situation from a Man's point of view, not friends, family, or even male friends not from Unknown male. Since the beggining of the relationship everybody has tried to convinced me that He is a good man for me and a good guy, he has given me everything, food, money, house, etc. I even left my country with him. Here I am not knowing what to do next.

I have always fear leaving him but i see him just like a friend not like a lover, i even feel sorry for him.

What I want to ask here is if there is a way to make this guy open his eyes. I have threatened him several times with divorce and stuff and then he comes with flowers and you know the rest.

I fear leaving him at my age since this is the only man I have been with in my life. I am not fat, nor ugly. Now here where I am guys ask me out, but i have to decline (sadly) i though it was that i like one of the guys who asked me out, but not, this has been depressing for several years now.

Thanks

Just curious but what country are you from? And what's the age difference between the two of you?

 

[saber]

lol welcome to every marriage...you may not have been with anybody else but 99.9% of men work the same way

dont go chasing some disneyland fantasy marriage

try whatever crazy scheme you can cook up

my friend is in the exact same boat and complaining about his girlfriend lol

if you just wanna screw around with strange men then do so but dont chase a fools paradise

 

[JLR]

interesting how the original poster hasn't replied to any of the suggestions. Can you say "crop circles"?

I can say "troll"....that's my guess.

 

[KarmaSutra]

You got a point Karma, you're married, and you know I respect you.

But lets say the husband is a chump, like in her case? He does the whole provider thang well, but doesn't really please her in that way... would it STILL be totally unacceptable for someone like me to come into play?

It comes down to baggage and risk versus reward. Only you can decide if getting with another man's spouse is worth it or not.

Even if the husband is a complete chump does that make it a pass to hit the pvssy? I don't think it's worth it. She's blatantly saying she has no self respect or any moral compass. Who knows what a woman like this is capable of.

 

[KarmaSutra]

I love how when a woman post here, everyone flocks to it like fodder. I can't help women with their problems, in fact i have trouble with alot of the problems guys post on here. It's uncanny how many people think they can provide the slightest amount of insite to a situation they know and understand nothing about.

But don't you see the beauty of it? It's the exchange of dialogue that's important and the different points of view which could possibly serve one of us in the future. Helping her with her issue is trite and completely irrelevant but the exploration of the idea surpasses any disregard of it.

 

[Jitterbug]

The husband may be a chump, but he's worked hard to provide for his family. Give him some fvcking respect, guys. It's bad enough that modern women do not have an ounce of respect for men who honour & commit to their traditional role.

 

[Prodigy746]

You got to be kidding me. The guy provides for you and you say he is lazy. Those two things dont add up.

If it is true of what you are saying, that he is not doing anything fun, you should talk to him. Communication and Trust is the best thing you could have in a merrige. Obviously you guys dont have either of those since you dont trust him to tell him that you are not happy. Seems to me like you are the one thats a bad apple in a relationship. You proboblly dont have a job and sit on your ass the whole day while hes out there busting his ass. When the guy comes back home he is tired as hell and your lazy ass wants to have some fun. If that is the cast than GO AHEAD AND DIVORCE HIM, HE DESERVES SOMEONE BETTER ANYWAY.

 

[KontrollerX]

Interceptor's post in here was fan fvcking tastic and I'd add some more to his rep for it but the system won't let me.

Also I agree 100% with KarmaSutra.

You won't be a real woman by cheating on this guy but just another lowly dime a dozen bottom feeding trash bag ho and I don't think any woman even the seemingly most shameless at the end of the day respects herself for leading such a lifestyle.

So if by some chance you are not a troll and a real person take into account what Karma and Interceptor have told you and also Prodigy makes a good point about communication.

Talk to your man openly and honestly and suggest changes to him as gently and sincerely as you can and explain to him that if he cannot change or at least come to some compromise of behaviour that is acceptable to you in exchange for you perhaps changing some of your behaviour to be more acceptable to him then you will have to let him know that this relationship is over.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Talk to your man openly and honestly and suggest changes to him as gently and sincerely as you can and explain to him that if he cannot change or at least come to some compromise of behaviour that is acceptable to you in exchange for you perhaps changing some of your behaviour to be more acceptable to him then you will have to let him know that this relationship is over.

KontrollerX nailed it better than anyone here, sans Interceptor. Why not just stop pvssyfooting around and communicate your displeasure? Perhaps he will say "fvck you" and give you the boot?

Communication, and the lack thereof, are the primary reasons relationships sour.

Man, I love seeing brothers come alive! For my brother KontrollerX - :flowers:

 

[frustrada]

Well, if he were a real man, he would've gotten a prenup so she wouldn't be able to steal half his sh1t.

Thanks I was the one who did the prenup. He lived in my house since we got married until 3 months ago.[/I]

 

[Last Man Standing]

Thanks I was the one who did the prenup. He lived in my house since we got married until 3 months ago.[/I]

That's it? We deserve more than this!!

 

[frustrada]

So he provides, works his ass off and isn't fun? Probably because he works 12 hours a day so you can buy designer clothes and watch Dr. Phil while sitting on your a$$.

You came to the wrong forum to talk **** about men that take care of THEIR women (yah, you are his responsibility hence the last name)

Go to a battered womens forum if you wanna put us down.

He has never bought me clothes i buy them with my money. He doesnt work 12 hours a day, believe, he worked but not that time. I am a lawyer with postgrade I can survive without him easily.

 

[Infamous J]

That's it? We deserve more than this!!

Did you expect anything different from this trick?

Move along folks, nothing to see here.

 

[frustrada]

Guys thanks for the replies I didnt expect so many, sorry but I am in europe and there is a difference in time. Well to begin with. I can live without him, I am a lawyer with postgraduate studies, I come from a good family, etc. AND NOT I am not a ***** not a hooker. That is not the thing the problem here is that I have gone through bad moments because of him. He lived in my house since we got married until we left 3 months ago. HE ate my food and my father gave him house and many others things since he didnt want to rent anything. I left my family to come with him thinking that being alone with him would make him change, but to no avail, he is the same guy as always the only difference is that now he pays rent and food but thats all, dont think i am buying clothes, or going to the beauty parlor as many may thing, NOOOO i work in the morning as a lawyer and then give english classes in the afternoon so i can but my things and live comfortably. I am not asking for FUN, sex or a jerk. No. I just want a MAn who can make me feel a woman, What i had felt for him dissapeared even before getting marriage, yes i made a mistake, but i was preassured by family memebers and also because finding man is hard this days.I though marriage would make him different but no. I have asked him to have children But NO. Now i think thanks god he said no 'cause i will have screwed it more.

Dont think that i want his money, no way. HE took money from me back in my house, He didnt pay rent, utilities, food, nothing live for free. I DID the prenups AND HE GOT ANGRY BECAUSE HE SAID I DIDNT TRUST HIM.

You know I didnt have many options and I didnt want end up alone since we all have the same needs such as compaionship and that stuff, yes i know i was inmature getting married with someone i just feel sorry for (i see him just like a friend not a husband) I forced myself to love him, I tried really, i tried with all my strengh, but love is something you cannot force.


thanks i'll keep up posting. thanks for the help, and be careful not all woman want a jerk they just want a MAN with balls, thats all. not girly men

 

[frustrada]

Did you ever love him?

Yes, Very much at the begging. I know I am not perfect , but i Think that i have worked hard to make him happy , to pleased him in every aspect and he hasnt done that for me,

To make a relationship work, you must keep the spark lighted , and it dosent happen alone, both, men and woman have to work on that.

Thanks

 

[frustrada]

I can say "troll"....that's my guess.

I live in Europe, there is a difference in time, while I answer you are probably sleeping

 

[frustrada]

interesting how the original poster hasn't replied to any of the suggestions. Can you say "crop circles"?

I lived in Europa, while I answer you are sleeping

 

[Last Man Standing]

OK, now we have more info to go on. You cannot force love, as you stated and it seems that you were not 100 percent into the relationship but you went along because that is what 26 year old women do to move further with their lives, and those around you encouraged you. I think this disappointment. on your part, was to be expected considering that you were not truly enthusiastic about him - it seemed forced! Well, you shouldn't have children with him -- tell him of your displeasure and be honest - if he wants to change he will - otherwise there is no solution!! Don't marry for the mere sake of getting married! I think you had warning signs not to marry him but you felt you had to because you were together for so long and didn't want to hurt his feelings. Not a good reason to get married - but many do it!

 

[LovelyLady]

Did you ever love him?

Yes, Very much at the begging.

You say you loved him in the beginning - please talk about that. Talk about the beginning - share what loving him "very much" in the beginning means when you say you loved him.

 

[iqqi]

There goes your guy's theory about foreign chicks being the holy grail.