A random guy at the club cannot compete with Tinder, Bumble and her social circle

[BDDazza]

There are so many nonsense threads talking about "club game", whether its getting her number at the club and following up the next day or getting her back to your house for a quick lay, I am here to say that its an inefficient way of meeting women and you'll lose out to men she meets on social media and from her social circle.

Now I am not saying you can't be successful with women at the club as many men are, but this is the minority.

This is a social media generation where women have dozens of applications on their phone. They are literally shifting between Tinder, Bumble, Badoo, Instagram etc, so you will never catch their attention because they are always in a state of messaging random men, some of which she has already developed at least some superficial relationship from texting or messaging with over the days/weeks prior to their 'first' date.

In addition to social media you're competing with her social circle, these are men she already knows, so she has vetted and mentally certified them as a legitimate prospect. These could be men from school, university, colleagues, friends of friends etc. She doesn't have to start from square one and she knows they are not 'weird' or a 'creep' unlike the men trying to hook up with her at the club.

When women are single their female friends will introduce them to men, these men are usually high quality, vetted by a 'trusted' friend as somebody who is a perfect suitor (good career, well educated, good values etc). As she doesn't want to disappoint her friend, she'll give this guy more slack to make mistakes than you!

 

[HaleyBaron]

The social circle game is far more of a gatekeep than social media. Social media is just a validation drug. Girls meet more safely and conveniently through a group. I will admit that it's harder to hookup at the club. Not because I suck, but because the girls are simply more picky than ever before. I heard the stories of the older guys who went to their hangouts in the early 00s and 90s. The way they speak about it, it was far easier to get a girl back then, and likely cause of the state of culture and tech. Communication has never been more convenient, but it's funny how much it has had a consequence of destroying domestic relationships.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Out of my entire social circle, there has been maybe ONE girl I have ever been interested in. Unless you are in many different social circles that all involve massive amounts of people, with new people coming and going constantly, the odds are low that you or a woman is going to find someone they like within that circle. You *definitely* can't get a lot of dates that way because the numbers simply aren't there to support it. The relationships that start from social circle are usually people who are hard-up and don't get a lot of dates and end up settling for someone. This isn't always the case - I know people who met their husband/wife from social circle and they definitely didn't settle, but it's the exception and not the rule. Walk out onto the street and look at the first 20 people you see. What are the odds you are going to see one woman in that crowd that you are really attracted to? For me it's near zero. That's how social circle works too.

Why would a woman be more interested in a guy she met on social media than a guy she met in real life and had a real interaction with where she could hear is voice and touch him and feel his vibe? You can't make a girl tingle online. It has to be in-person. I have done cold approach for years and it's how I've met basically all the girls I've dated; I'm competing with people pinging her on social media and I'm winning. It works. Most of the women I have dated complain about how many thirsty guys there are on social media trying to slide into their DM's. They know the game and they generally aren't interested.

I won't comment on club game because I'm far too old to be going out to clubs and dealing with the crap that goes on in them. But I will say that whether it's in the club, at a bar, music festival, on the street, or in the grocery store, approaching women in-person works and it works really well. Or at least it does when there isn't an active pandemic.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

If your banging everyone in the social circle things quickly fall apart

 

[Velasco]

She doesn't have to start from square one and she knows they are not 'weird' or a 'creep' unlike the men trying to hook up with her at the club.

if your not 'weird or a 'creep' this shouldn't be a problem then.

When women are single their female friends will introduce them to men

Same as they will introduce their friend to someone they think is perfect for her, They will also let her hook up with someone who has shown he's not weird and hot.

somebody who is a perfect suitor (good career, well educated, good values etc).

many times these perfect suitors turn out to be boring/needy/weird.
TL;DR 1) Be hot. 2) Don't be weird.

 

[timmyroni]

There are so many nonsense threads talking about "club game", whether its getting her number at the club and following up the next day or getting her back to your house for a quick lay, I am here to say that its an inefficient way of meeting women and you'll lose out to men she meets on social media and from her social circle.

Now I am not saying you can't be successful with women at the club as many men are, but this is the minority.

This is a social media generation where women have dozens of applications on their phone. They are literally shifting between Tinder, Bumble, Badoo, Instagram etc, so you will never catch their attention because they are always in a state of messaging random men, some of which she has already developed at least some superficial relationship from texting or messaging with over the days/weeks prior to their 'first' date.

Here you are guilty of gross exaggeration. You say women have dozens of social media apps, but you only mention 4.

You say women are "always" msging random men. That can't possibly be correct and is just ridiculous.

In addition to social media you're competing with her social circle, these are men she already knows, so she has vetted and mentally certified them as a legitimate prospect. These could be men from school, university, colleagues, friends of friends etc. She doesn't have to start from square one and she knows they are not 'weird' or a 'creep' unlike the men trying to hook up with her at the club.

When women are single their female friends will introduce them to men, these men are usually high quality, vetted by a 'trusted' friend as somebody who is a perfect suitor (good career, well educated, good values etc). As she doesn't want to disappoint her friend, she'll give this guy more slack to make mistakes than you!

Again, you grossly exaggerate the size of most women's social circles. Most women usually have just a few close female friends, and very often it's either one or none.

A girl's social circle gets smaller and smaller over time, and can dwindle to a vanishing point post college. All of these myriad contacts you think a woman has are largely a figment of your imagination.

Not to mention you have now switched from arguing that women rely on "random" contacts yet claim in the next breath that they rely on friends to carefully vet men.

This is all just ridiculous, contradictory, imaginary nonsense.

I get that you don't like clubs, most people don't, but that's not a reason to just post a bunch of lies about the overwhelming number of men hounding every girl on the planet.

 

[SW15]

I won't comment on club game because I'm far too old to be going out to clubs and dealing with the crap that goes on in them. But I will say that whether it's in the club, at a bar, music festival, on the street, or in the grocery store, approaching women in-person works and it works really well. Or at least it does when there isn't an active pandemic.

Why would a woman be more interested in a guy she met on social media than a guy she met in real life and had a real interaction with where she could hear is voice and touch him and feel his vibe? You can't make a girl tingle online. It has to be in-person. I have done cold approach for years and it's how I've met basically all the girls I've dated; I'm competing with people pinging her on social media and I'm winning. It works. Most of the women I have dated complain about how many thirsty guys there are on social media trying to slide into their DM's. They know the game and they generally aren't interested.

A guy will always have an advantage on in-person approaching vs. either social media efforts to slide into DMs or on swipe apps.

The nightclub isn't an ideal environment for approaching, but it is at least in-person and not tech assisted. I wouldn't choose a loud nightclub anymore, pandemic or no pandemic. A quieter rooftop bar or a lounge is always a better option. As are most non-bar settings such as the grocery store or a walking/hiking path. With the pandemic, outdoor approaching is the form of approaching that is most sustainable at the moment. Masking makes a lot of indoor approaching far more difficult.

The social circle game is far more of a gatekeep than social media. Girls meet more safely and conveniently through a group. I will admit that it's harder to hookup at the club. Not because I suck, but because the girls are simply more picky than ever before. I heard the stories of the older guys who went to their hangouts in the early 00s and 90s. The way they speak about it, it was far easier to get a girl back then, and likely cause of the state of culture and tech.

I would say that bar and nightspot approaching was easier in 2004-06 than at any point in the 2010s. Women fidgeting with their phones and being less in the moment has made it more difficult. Additionally, female expectations have increased because women have more options than ever with social media and swipe apps. While I still think it is advantageous to do in-person approaching and bars have some advantages over non-bar settings, bar approaching isn't as good as it was from 1990-2006.

Social circle is the number 1 way to make it happen.

Out of my entire social circle, there has been maybe ONE girl I have ever been interested in. Unless you are in many different social circles that all involve massive amounts of people, with new people coming and going constantly, the odds are low that you or a woman is going to find someone they like within that circle. You *definitely* can't get a lot of dates that way because the numbers simply aren't there to support it. The relationships that start from social circle are usually people who are hard-up and don't get a lot of dates and end up settling for someone. This isn't always the case - I know people who met their husband/wife from social circle and they definitely didn't settle, but it's the exception and not the rule. Walk out onto the street and look at the first 20 people you see. What are the odds you are going to see one woman in that crowd that you are really attracted to? For me it's near zero. That's how social circle works too.

In thinking about all my experiences since turning 18, I've never had a quality social circle for finding dates.

People don't do social circle for quantity of dates. People do social circle for having better odds of finding an extended relationship and not having to go through the meat grinder of swipe apps and cold approaching. Social circle is best for that. Now, developing a social circle is quite difficult and dependent upon a lot of variables. If a man is doing social circle game, he's looking for 1 year relationships or longer out of the circle.

The men I've known who have had the required variables to do social circle well are often blue pill/beta. They'll get married from it. Without the social circle, they'd be failing a lot more in cold approaching or app swiping.

 

[Blacksheep]

There are so many nonsense threads talking about "club game", whether its getting her number at the club and following up the next day or getting her back to your house for a quick lay, I am here to say that its an inefficient way of meeting women and you'll lose out to men she meets on social media and from her social circle.

Now I am not saying you can't be successful with women at the club as many men are, but this is the minority.

This is a social media generation where women have dozens of applications on their phone. They are literally shifting between Tinder, Bumble, Badoo, Instagram etc, so you will never catch their attention because they are always in a state of messaging random men, some of which she has already developed at least some superficial relationship from texting or messaging with over the days/weeks prior to their 'first' date.

In addition to social media you're competing with her social circle, these are men she already knows, so she has vetted and mentally certified them as a legitimate prospect. These could be men from school, university, colleagues, friends of friends etc. She doesn't have to start from square one and she knows they are not 'weird' or a 'creep' unlike the men trying to hook up with her at the club.

When women are single their female friends will introduce them to men, these men are usually high quality, vetted by a 'trusted' friend as somebody who is a perfect suitor (good career, well educated, good values etc). As she doesn't want to disappoint her friend, she'll give this guy more slack to make mistakes than you!

At a club or anywhere you become successful if you are good-looking/in good shape. It's quite simple.

If you are fat, you won't attract women above your sexual value (the hot ones all guys fantasy about), if you are weird you won't attract girls. Period.

Let's analyze women perspective on clubs:

- A lot of drunk desperate guys who are hitting her all the time. Most are ugly or not as attractive as she would desire. We could say the same on social media. A lot of validation from desperate guys.

- A really good-looking and confident guy doesn't need to hit women on clubs or social media. Nowadays women hit on men. If there is any effort by a man, it's wrong.

Something I've learned through life:

- You will get women that are below or at the same level of your physical appearance/sexual market value.

Just like you as a man trying to get always the hot women above you, women do the same.

Now, another part for the women interested in money. They follow a principle like:

- I need to find a guy who has a lot of money, who is needy, and one who I can manipulate in order to have access to his resources.

 

[derby1]

You say women are "always" msging random men. That can't possibly be correct and is just ridiculous.

They spin eco systems, surely you know this.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Usually women won't introduce high value men to their single friends, jealousy among women is violent, even if they are friends...

This is a good point and one I forgot to make previously. It is well-known around here that women are ruthless toward one another in order to secure the man they want and if they can't have him, by god no other women will. My guy friends and I have been c0ck-blocked routinely by women in our social circle, and it's usually done by the women who want you but who you do not want.

 

[roaming shark]

I’ve never liked clubs and won’t start now that I’m 31. I do like upscale bars and wine bars. Dress nice and carry yourself well and you will meet more level headed women on average. Clubs are like the flee market of dating, yes you can find something of high quality but you’ll have to spend 4 hours rummaging thru dirty throwaways, hoping for something, and all you end up with at the end of it all is a corn dog from the food truck.

I agree with your overall point, that’s why I’m a big advocate of optimizing your online dating prescence. It’s mandatory in 2021 IMO.

 

[metalwater]

If your banging everyone in the social circle things quickly fall apart

it depends.
- what is the core function of the social circle and how strong is the status pull
- you have to manage the guys also...
- discreet and overt at the same time
- have a public LTR as cover is a huge plus.

And yes, I have seen a couple blow up and the circle gets highjacked or dissolved because of too much greed so that arrogance and pride take over.

 

[Knight of Roses]

I dont think super hot girls are on Tinder, Bumble. And if they are, they are usually posting their Instagram link on their, looking for new followers.

Super hot girls, especially the uneducated bartender, bottle service, types, usually meet men through their social circles. Thats my opinion anyways.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Social circle game is over hyped by people not in social circles, and who the fvck still goes to clubs? You literally live in die by your social circle, I'd rather go on the apps and deal with thots then lose my freedom and autonomy to a social circle.

 

[Bokanovsky]

I dont think super hot girls are on Tinder, Bumble. And if they are, they are usually posting their Instagram link on their, looking for new followers.

Super hot girls, especially the uneducated bartender, bottle service, types, usually meet men through their social circles. Thats my opinion anyways.

You are right, the swipe apps are geared more towards “professional” women but it would be a mistake to say there are no hot women there. Perhaps it’s location based but I see a sh!t ton of hot women on the apps.

 

[MatureDJ]

Usually women won't introduce high value men to their single friends, jealousy among women is violent, even if they are friends...

It's been my experience that women in "my circle" have always tried to set me up with fat chicks.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

It's been my experience that women in "my circle" have always tried to set me up with fat chicks.

Hey, I would like you to meet my friend, she's a really nice lady? Always ends up being either a hopeless single mom, a hoe that is screwing some bad boy, or fat lol.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

I dont think super hot girls are on Tinder, Bumble. And if they are, they are usually posting their Instagram link on their, looking for new followers.

Super hot girls, especially the uneducated bartender, bottle service, types, usually meet men through their social circles. Thats my opinion anyways.

This was true until recently. A lot of women relocated to a new city during the pandemic and haven't been able to meet people so they go to OLD.

 

[derby1]

It's been my experience that women in "my circle" have always tried to set me up with fat chicks.

and mine, irony being i was better looking than the lot of them, not as if i was trying to negotiate with a dime and she curved me.

 

[Zimbabwe]

How many guys have constant access to new women through their social circles?

Unless you're in college or highschool, it's almost impossible.

You are right, the swipe apps are geared more towards “professional” women but it would be a mistake to say there are no hot women there. Perhaps it’s location based but I see a sh!t ton of hot women on the apps.

A hot woman has tons of options irl, why would she need to go on OLD?