A random guy at the club cannot compete with Tinder, Bumble and her social circle

[bat soup]

The social circle game is far more of a gatekeep than social media. Social media is just a validation drug. Girls meet more safely and conveniently through a group. I will admit that it's harder to hookup at the club. Not because I suck, but because the girls are simply more picky than ever before. I heard the stories of the older guys who went to their hangouts in the early 00s and 90s. The way they speak about it, it was far easier to get a girl back then, and likely cause of the state of culture and tech. Communication has never been more convenient, but it's funny how much it has had a consequence of destroying domestic relationships.

Smartphones are modern-day cokblockers

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

How many guys have constant access to new women through their social circles?

Unless you're in college or highschool, it's almost impossible.



A hot woman has tons of options irl, why would she need to go on OLD?

They don't lol and you act like a woman can just go to the store and find some rich christian grey stranger like in the movies lol

 

[BDDazza]

Here you are guilty of gross exaggeration. You say women have dozens of social media apps, but you only mention 4

The key word was "etc", it stands for et cetera. This means the list is longer than four but for simplicity I have listed four to compress the long list.

Again, you grossly exaggerate the size of most women's social circles. Most women usually have just a few close female friends, and very often it's either one or none.

I never said women use their social circles as their primary method. I pointed out they use social media too.

Also social circle isn't just a close female friend. Social circle could be a boy she recently met from her tennis club, or going out with a group of acquaintances she met during a charity event.

A girl's social circle gets smaller and smaller over time, and can dwindle to a vanishing point post college. All of these myriad contacts you think a woman has are largely a figment of your imagination.

Again, I never said social circle was a woman's primary or sole option for meeting men.

Not to mention you have now switched from arguing that women rely on "random" contacts yet claim in the next breath that they rely on friends to carefully vet men.

I never said women rely on any single method. I clearly mentioned that women have many options ranging from social media, social circles, close friends in addition to the club.

This is all just ridiculous, contradictory, imaginary nonsense.

Not a contradiction. You need to read better.

Usually women won't introduce high value men to their single friends, jealousy among women is violent, even if they are friends...

Yes and no. When women get older their female friends begin to settle with a long term boyfriends and husbands. At this stage they are more adjusted so they are not worried about introducing their single female friend to an accountant from work or a successful man in her fringe friend group.

 

[timmyroni]

More keyboard jockeying nonsense.

You need to list 20 more social media apps she uses regularly for your point to even be valid. List them.

One friend is not a social circle. Acquaintances are not part of your 'social circle.'

You are grossly exaggerating. This is all a figment of your imagination.

The key word was "etc", it stands for et cetera. This means the list is longer than four but for simplicity I have listed four to compress the long list.



I never said women use their social circles as their primary method. I pointed out they use social media too.

Also social circle isn't just a close female friend. Social circle could be a boy she recently met from her tennis club, or going out with a group of acquaintances she met during a charity event.



Again, I never said social circle was a woman's primary or sole option for meeting men.



I never said women rely on any single method. I clearly mentioned that women have many options ranging from social media, social circles, close friends in addition to the club.



Not a contradiction. You need to read better.



Yes and no. When women get older their female friends begin to settle with a long term boyfriends and husbands. At this stage they are more adjusted so they are not worried about introducing their single female friend to an accountant from work or a successful man in her fringe friend group.

 

[zinc4]

There are so many nonsense threads talking about "club game", whether its getting her number at the club and following up the next day or getting her back to your house for a quick lay, I am here to say that its an inefficient way of meeting women and you'll lose out to men she meets on social media and from her social circle.

Now I am not saying you can't be successful with women at the club as many men are, but this is the minority.

This is a social media generation where women have dozens of applications on their phone. They are literally shifting between Tinder, Bumble, Badoo, Instagram etc, so you will never catch their attention because they are always in a state of messaging random men, some of which she has already developed at least some superficial relationship from texting or messaging with over the days/weeks prior to their 'first' date.

In addition to social media you're competing with her social circle, these are men she already knows, so she has vetted and mentally certified them as a legitimate prospect. These could be men from school, university, colleagues, friends of friends etc. She doesn't have to start from square one and she knows they are not 'weird' or a 'creep' unlike the men trying to hook up with her at the club.

When women are single their female friends will introduce them to men, these men are usually high quality, vetted by a 'trusted' friend as somebody who is a perfect suitor (good career, well educated, good values etc). As she doesn't want to disappoint her friend, she'll give this guy more slack to make mistakes than you!

This guy is on point. Club game used to be like shooting fish in a barrel. And people used to actually dance with each other and have fun at clubs. Now it's just like one stupid jump up and down ****ty electronic music and show off to your friends fest.

There are still fun clubs out there though and you can still hookup for sure but it's nothing like it was in the early 2000s. Im assuming clubs were really fun in the 90s. No idea though because the first club i went to was in the year 2000.

And yeah....i feel like people def knew how to have more fun back then. Clubs suck nowadays in general and ***** shields are up way higher. The average club music is god awful now as well. And every girl is always on a girls night out.

You either need to be top tier looks, very tall or thug gansta looking lol. That being said i pulled at a club 3 weeks ago.

The music was so bad though that it was barely tolerable even being there. No one can or does really dance anymore either it seems. Just this repetitive jumping up and down stuff like drones or standing in circles and taking selfies.

 

[BDDazza]

More keyboard jockeying nonsense.

You need to list 20 more social media apps she uses regularly for your point to even be valid. List them.

One friend is not a social circle. Acquaintances are not part of your 'social circle.'

You are grossly exaggerating. This is all a figment of your imagination.

So 20 is the app threshold according to you...that makes sense.

Learn to read. I never said 1 friend is a social circle.

 

[MatureDJ]

clubs are very difficult. bars where you can talk and get to know someone are still in play, but rare and usually only if she is alone.

And how many chicks that aren't pros go to a club by themselves?

 

[MatureDJ]

You either need to be top tier looks, very tall or thug gansta looking lol. That being said i pulled at a club 3 weeks ago.

So what if I have a Chadlite-face & good muscular frame, but am only 5'5"? The typical mogging by 6'3"+ men in clubs is BRUTAL!

 

[roaming shark]

How many guys have constant access to new women through their social circles?

Unless you're in college or highschool, it's almost impossible.



A hot woman has tons of options irl, why would she need to go on OLD?

Probably less than 10% of single guys have consistent leads thru social circle. And if they do, they are probably serial monogamous in order to preserve their status in the group. You can’t be running thru women in your circle , or else you will be ostracized. Thus you date serial monogamously. Us DJs play a slightly different game

 

[SW15]

Probably less than 10% of single guys have consistent leads thru social circle. And if they do, they are probably serial monogamous in order to preserve their status in the group. You can’t be running thru women in your circle , or else you will be ostracized. Thus you date serial monogamously. Us DJs play a slightly different game

If you use social circle game, you're using social circle game for extended relationships because it is intended for the formation of longer term relationships, possibly even marriage. You'll annoy the circle if you keep having short duration things. The circle will keep helping you out if you do 2-4 year relationships and it doesn't work, but less than 2 years constantly will annoy them.

You see a lot of beta males in LTRs from the circles if the variables line up for them to have a circle. These relationships last a long time.

 

[roaming shark]

If you use social circle game, you're using social circle game for extended relationships because it is intended for the formation of longer term relationships, possibly even marriage. You'll annoy the circle if you keep having short duration things. The circle will keep helping you out if you do 2-4 year relationships and it doesn't work, but less than 2 years constantly will annoy them.

You see a lot of beta males in LTRs from the circles if the variables line up for them to have a circle. These relationships last a long time.

Interesting point. Speaking as a lone wolf, I can hardly relate but I theorize.

 

[HaleyBaron]

The last time I got someone from my social circle, some stuff leaked primarily around her and as a result, there was a moment where people saw me more badly cause of allegations. At least if the girl is a stranger she is less likely to affect your friend group. So I am not fond of hooking up with girls in a social circle unless it is a very loose one.

 

[Zimbabwe]

The last time I got someone from my social circle, some stuff leaked primarily around her and as a result, there was a moment where people saw me more badly cause of allegations. At least if the girl is a stranger she is less likely to affect your friend group. So I am not fond of hooking up with girls in a social circle unless it is a very loose one.

What about when they introduce you to their social circle and you join it?

Me personally i always liked to keep friends and relationships seperate.

 

[BDDazza]

The last time I got someone from my social circle, some stuff leaked primarily around her and as a result, there was a moment where people saw me more badly cause of allegations. At least if the girl is a stranger she is less likely to affect your friend group. So I am not fond of hooking up with girls in a social circle unless it is a very loose one.

Even women from your social circle you have to vetted. I would advise not going for a women who have a strong fixture to your circle and look at fringe social circles etc.

Like if you're invited to a party some ladies won't necessarily be a close friend of the person hosting, in fact she may not even know the host but she was invited by somebody who does know the host. These are the type of connections where you can use your influence without damaging your credibility or reputation if things go wrong.

What about when they introduce you to their social circle and you join it?

Me personally I always liked to keep friends and relationships separate.

It is possible to meet her friends without joining her social circle. You maintain a healthy distance from her friends - i.e. cordial and nothing more.

Although in my experience though, if you make a slight effort with her friends they'll see you as a pair, so she is less likely to end the relationship as you are more interlinked.

 

[SW15]

Social circle could be a boy she recently met from her tennis club

Private tennis clubs and country clubs tend to have a 35+ audience and are mainly established couples. Early to mid 40s divorced women are possible tennis players at the country clubs/tennis clubs.

Hunting for 21-34 year old women in tennis/country clubs is not going to be all that fruitful. If you are a tennis player and have the funds to join a private club, it is worth doing for tennis but likely not a source of meeting younger women. The only social circle way that this could happen if it you meet some person in their 40s-60s who is a daughter, niece, friend's daughter, etc.

clubs are very difficult. bars where you can talk and get to know someone are still in play, but rare and usually only if she is alone.

Quieter bars are an option. Not a lot of women go out alone with the purpose of meeting men. Smaller groups of 2-3 women will go out and be open to men. Larger groups are more difficult to open in bars. The bachelorette parties of 5+ women are the most annoying group. Pre-pandemic, I rolled solo to many bars and had no issue approaching women in groups up to 3. Going out to bars with 1 or 2 other guys is ok to do as well.

 

[BDDazza]

Private tennis clubs and country clubs tend to have a 35+ audience and are mainly established couples. Early to mid 40s divorced women are possible tennis players at the country clubs/tennis clubs.

Hunting for 21-34 year old women in tennis/country clubs is not going to be all that fruitful. If you are a tennis player and have the funds to join a private club, it is worth doing for tennis but likely not a source of meeting younger women. The only social circle way that this could happen if it you meet some person in their 40s-60s who is a daughter, niece, friend's daughter, etc.

I think you took what I said too literally.

Tennis club is just an example, a social circle can be from any social activity or society that makes sense for your lifestyle.

Quieter bars are an option. Not a lot of women go out alone with the purpose of meeting men. Smaller groups of 2-3 women will go out and be open to men. Larger groups are more difficult to open in bars. The bachelorette parties of 5+ women are the most annoying group. Pre-pandemic, I rolled solo to many bars and had no issue approaching women in groups up to 3. Going out to bars with 1 or 2 other guys is ok to do as well.

What are your thoughts about an average guys success rate at a bar compared to a guy she meets through social media, dating apps or through a social circle?

 

[SW15]

I think you took what I said too literally.

Tennis club is just an example, a social circle can be from any social activity or society that makes sense for your lifestyle.

What are your thoughts about an average guys success rate at a bar compared to a guy she meets through social media, dating apps or through a social circle?

I play tennis so I wanted to illustrate using tennis to meet women. I picked up a woman at a public tennis court and was able to get her on a date with me, so that was an accomplishment. That interaction quickly flamed out.

Among sports, volleyball and soccer are better bets than tennis for younger women, but tennis becomes good if targeting single women 35-50.

Average success rate at a bar compared to social media, dating apps, or social circle? Good question. The following are my ranked preferences on that, from most likely to succeed to least likely to succeed. Success is defined here as some blend of going on a date, having sex, and having an extended relationship.

1. Social circle: For those with social circles, social circles are best for getting dates that will turn into extended relationships. If your goal is to take a relationship beyond the 1 year mark, you'll get the most compatible dates through social circle. If you tend to turn over women more frequently, social circle isn't ideal. The average man wants to get laid consistently, so an extended relationship is his best bet for that, and therefore social circle is the best option.
2. Bar: The advantages that the bar gives an average man is that the in-person experience is conferred right away. It's easier to determine chemistry and the chances of a good, 1-3 hour date right away. Also, it is easier to find a higher quantity of attractive women at a bar or nightclub in any slice of time as compared to doing approaching in some non-bar setting. Bars are often better for one night stands or short term sexual arrangements than social circles.
3. Social media: There's a scene around sliding into DMs on Instagram and Twitter to a lesser extent. In the early days of Facebook, that happened, but Facebook has not been much of a dating factor in at least a decade. I've heard in the last 5 years or so about men trying to get dates by sliding into LinkedIn DMs, but this action isn't well perceived and has a bad reputation. If a man wants to use social media to pick up women, he needs to focus on Instagram and build a following there. More difficult to accomplish things here than the previous two.
4. Swipe apps: The worst of the worst. People resort to swipe apps when all other options fail.

 

[2Rocky]

If you don't stand out, you don't stand a chance.

Every time I took someone home from the bar, from the moment we made eye contact, it was on. I could have read her the phone book and still would have gone home with me.

I've been to other big clubs in big cities where girls were getting hit on left and right and I didn't stand out at all. I was just another dude in a sea of dudes. A real Night at the Roxbury feeling. I think the more a woman is approached at a club or bar, the higher her walls get and she becomes numb to the emotions associated with the excitement of meeting a stranger. Especially if the first couple guys who approach are uncalibrated or a big let down when they open their mouth.

At one point I finally decided I wasn't going to throw myself on the rocks of their ***** shield. I'd look for women who were welcoming and invited MY approach through eye contact and smiles. MUCH higher close rates.

 

[BDDazza]

I play tennis so I wanted to illustrate using tennis to meet women. I picked up a woman at a public tennis court and was able to get her on a date with me, so that was an accomplishment. That interaction quickly flamed out.

Among sports, volleyball and soccer are better bets than tennis for younger women, but tennis becomes good if targeting single women 35-50.

I see, you were relating it to tennis because its your thing.

I've got a friend who teaches Taekwondo, he has generated a few lays from his students.

For you it depends on the dynamics of your tennis club, if its a serious environment where the women want to play and leave then you'll find it hard to convert them. But if its a dynamic where the tennis group occasionally meet for dinner or social activities away from tennis it'll be easier to convert them into a date.

Average success rate at a bar compared to social media, dating apps, or social circle? Good question. The following are my ranked preferences on that, from most likely to succeed to least likely to succeed. Success is defined here as some blend of going on a date, having sex, and having an extended relationship.

1. Social circle: For those with social circles, social circles are best for getting dates that will turn into extended relationships. If your goal is to take a relationship beyond the 1 year mark, you'll get the most compatible dates through social circle. If you tend to turn over women more frequently, social circle isn't ideal. The average man wants to get laid consistently, so an extended relationship is his best bet for that, and therefore social circle is the best option.
2. Bar: The advantages that the bar gives an average man is that the in-person experience is conferred right away. It's easier to determine chemistry and the chances of a good, 1-3 hour date right away. Also, it is easier to find a higher quantity of attractive women at a bar or nightclub in any slice of time as compared to doing approaching in some non-bar setting. Bars are often better for one night stands or short term sexual arrangements than social circles.
3. Social media: There's a scene around sliding into DMs on Instagram and Twitter to a lesser extent. In the early days of Facebook, that happened, but Facebook has not been much of a dating factor in at least a decade. I've heard in the last 5 years or so about men trying to get dates by sliding into LinkedIn DMs, but this action isn't well perceived and has a bad reputation. If a man wants to use social media to pick up women, he needs to focus on Instagram and build a following there. More difficult to accomplish things here than the previous two.
4. Swipe apps: The worst of the worst. People resort to swipe apps when all other options fail.

"4. Swipe apps: The worst of the worst. People resort to swipe apps when all other options fail."

I like that saying. I might have to steal it.

 

[bat soup]

In some ways I disagree with the premise of this thread. Women are controlled by their feelings. A person that is standing right in front of her has far more ability to affect a woman's feelings than a message or a profile online among 10,000 others. At a bar you can get close and use touch and body language - this is going to arouse a woman if she's attracted to you and you will be able to see her reaction in real time.