A Modern Dating Tragedy: A Man's Perspective

[diplomatic_lies]

Originally posted by 00Kevin
One of the rarest qualities to find in a young woman today—at least towards eligible men—was kindness.

Yeah, I dated this one girl (a 7) who actually *cared*. Like if something sh*t happened to me, she'd be concerned. I dated her for ages, refused to go out with anyone even if they were hotter.

However its not just women, but also men. How many men go around just sleeping with women, without caring afterwards? How many women see men as ATM machines? To me, these "players" and "golddiggers" are encouraging each others' behaviours.

 

[booga]

My buddy's GF once complained that she (& women generally) are most often approached by guys who "don't seem to care all that much."

Now that I've started cold-approaching, I see why. Women are not kind when they say no. They see no necessity for the decorums of ladylike behavior. They have no idea how hard cold-approaching is, or how many you have to do to get a "yes", & they don't care to know. A man who "cares all that much" will curl into a ball & die.

Thus, by Darwinian natural selection, the only men who will be able to run the cold-approach gauntlet w/o having a nervous breakdown, are the very men my buddy's GF complains about. How's that for irony?

 

[ScrewIt]

Originally posted by 00Kevin


If a woman gives a man what he really needs—genuine interest, understanding, and acceptance of him as he really is, he will ask her out, and keep coming back for more.
[/B]

great post. If only the real world works that way. It probably did in the past but barely anymore.

With all these non-exclusive relationships and open dating everywhere, it's crushing LTR hard. No one wants to be tied down anymore, even if they do its temporary and still end up cheating one way or another.

AS for your quote, i think only older women who are 30+ actually begin taking this into consideration. The point of their lives where they grow desperate and want to settle down. The way they think start changing because less guys are hitting on them and fvcking them.

Anyway my point is women who are their ripest of age, 16 - late 20's. They see they have many opportunities that they just ridicule at the man who presents genuine interest. They prefer the adventure, the chase, the game...they simply love it. And once their looks start to fade away, theyre practically hit with a ton of bricks and suddenly wake up one day and decide to change their evil ways. that day is their 30's.

p.s. me writing this feels like de ja vu

 

[fan27]

the original post sounds like a bunch of sour grapes to me. Its sometimes easier to find reasons outside of ourselfs to explain our lack of success rather than doing the work that needs to be done.

fan27

 

[00Kevin]

Re: Re: A Modern Dating Tragedy: A Man's Perspective

Originally posted by DonJuanMonk
:rock: :rock: :rock:

And for those who are trying to date a girl: If she's neither giving you interest, neither understands you, and unwilling to accept you cause of how he looks/financial status. Save yourself some grief and NEXT.

So very true. In fact that is the lesson you learn after you understand what is going on out there.

Once you realize that YOU are not totally to blame for all your dating problems then you can move on and go for what it is you want.


You can

a) play games to get the girl to like you. (****y funny, kino, etc)

or

b) next the usless women for those that know how to keep a man happy.


if you chose option A good luck in finding a lasting relationship with a girl. sure you will be able to wow her with your charm and get in her pants but it will all be fake and just a big waste of your time.

if you chose option B then it will take you a while to filter out all the crap out there. You will have time however to focus on your goals and learn to become a man.

 

[00Kevin]

Originally posted by fan27
the original post sounds like a bunch of sour grapes to me. Its sometimes easier to find reasons outside of ourselfs to explain our lack of success rather than doing the work that needs to be done.

fan27

yeah it does sound that way. I agree with you, but the fact is our dating culture is full of a bunch of sour grapes.

My purpose was to show how bad it is out there. To make men understand what is wrong with the culture of dating and the current relationships between men and women.

Once you realize how bad it is out there. you can pull yourself out of the depression and in some cases desperation that are a direct result of the problems I pointed out.

 

[00Kevin]

Most women today are not very lady like anymore.

Women are not expected to be lady like, but women still expect us to act like gentlemen.

That is part of the problem. As men we no longer expect much from women anymore. Infact, we are more worried about what women expect from us. Once you wake up from the nightmare of all the twisted social marketing you will realize the errors in your ways.

This is why is say to everyone EXPECT much from a woman and you will be fine. Have highstandards and make sure you are being true to who you are.

If the woman doesn't show genuine interest, understanding, and acceptance of you for who you are THEN NEXT. In fact you should expect that she should!

 

[kk2004]

What sucks

Its great how we have a place like this to discuss topics and I agree with the original poster who pointed out and made some very good points indeed.

Personally, this topic makes me hate women even more, or dispise them, which I know isnt the right thing to do, but still its kind of hard not to when you just have to walk out of the door and see the attitudes women have these days.

Yeah and plus I just find it funny when women say "I dont get it, all the men dont care", and a poster above me noted it perfectly that its almost comedic that they feel that way, when they fail to realize what men have to go through when cold approaching and playing this game.

Hopefully one day when I have my son, Im going to teach him the futility of emotions and kindness and caring about women and their feelings. There is no reciprococity, men are expected to approach and apporach while women can sit on there thrones and with a wave of a hand decide who they are gonna spend time with and fu*ck, forget love, since most are to insecure with themselves and dont understand what a "symbiotic" (above poster) realtionships requires.

The feminist movement is here to stay, and the media and the values this new generation of MTV kids have arent going to change anytime soon. There is nothing an ordinary man can do other than run the gauntlet and play the game.

None of us can change society and if we try to fight it, we just end up alone, because no individual man has the power to change the whole of society. He has to play by the rules and I personally think males get f*cked in the a*ss by the values they're taught about women in childhood.

The pimp game is just like looking for a new house, you have to shop around, and males these days have too sensitive of an ego which wont let them play the field and take risks.

One of the most important thing a male can learn is to become less sensitive to shame. Males tend to be shame-phobic, and when you can learn to let go of your fear of shame by taking care of your insecurites and then you ca do your approachs, I feel this will help males out the most.

I think the bootcamp is created for just that purpose. To help males develop that mindset.

 

[RedPill]

There are many threads that revolve around this topic in some form or another. They all spawn great discussions. Marriage vs. not marrying, player lifestyle vs. LTR, etc. Call me crazy or old-school or whatever, but it's just occured to me that the lack of people living stable, balanced, disciplined, responsible lifestyles is what is destroying modern America, and probably lots of other countries as well. It bothers me immensely that people of great substance are so few and far between today. I'm not claiming to be some great moralist or anything. All I'm saying is that I'm extremely cautious about who I associate with these days.

As it relates to women, the only women who seem capable of playing the natural female role in a long-term relationship (loyal supporter, child rearer, homemaker) are the same ones who go and live so damn independently with their careers and such. Much like the men who are smart enough these days to stay ever vigilant so they don't invest in a poor woman, I think it's the women who are smart enough to not invest in a player who would make the best wives and mothers.

It was observantly pointed out in this thread that there are too many "sour grapes" out there, which makes seeking the path of a stable lifestyle all the more difficult. Call it growing up, but my life has taken a dramatic 180 in the last two years. I can no longer stand women who are all about the club scene, nor can I stand the princesses who demand suburban utopia at all costs. I just want a woman who will stick by my side as I rise to the top, who is smart enough to understand the games our chaotic society plays.

The lesson of my mini-rant: Stop giving the mtv/paris hilton/clubrat/princess b1tches the time of day and your lives will be so much easier. You'll save a lot of time, money, and frustration. Conversely, when you spot a woman who even resembles that classy, intelligent, feminine specemin that you think doesn't exist anymore, seize the opportunity immediately. Date her and see if she's the real deal.

 

[booga]

Here are some more ironies for you:

(1) Women's lib actually liberated men (from marriage) more than it liberated women.

(2) Feminists spent 30 years trying to convince women that they don't need men, but the truth is, women need men more than men need women. Men handle solitude much better than women do. This becomes evident when you get into your thirties.

 

[00Kevin]

Feminism isn't something that will last forever. At least not in the way that it does today.

You have to put it into perspective. It has yet to stand the test of time.

The fact of the matter is there are billions of people in the world that don't subscribe to it. There are also cultures that don't support it. Feminism is just something that is in everyones face in western countries. It does not reflect the natural order of the sexes.

These Women can try all they want to appear like they are the ones in control but they truely are not. It only takes a war or a breakdown of civil law to prove that.

Men are realizing that a feminist is of no use to a man. When a man wants to build his kingdom he takes action and he find the girl who is best suited to his needs.

Feminists are priced way out of the market and in some ways have eliminated themselves to the gene pool. By its very nature feminism is counter to the proliferation of life. It does not promote large families and in most cases it promotes men and women as adversaries.

 

[00Kevin]

on other thing,

When a man comes to his senses and realizes how screwed up most western women are (as a result of feminism) it makes your choice very easy.

What I'm trying to say is that it is easy to find a shiny gemstone in a lump of dirt.

You just have to be willing to search for it and filter out all the crap.

In this way you can be thankfull, you will be less likely to make a stupid mistake and give a ring to a stupid feminist who-re.

 

[00Kevin]

Originally posted by RedPill
The lesson of my mini-rant: Stop giving the mtv/paris hilton/clubrat/princess b1tches the time of day and your lives will be so much easier. You'll save a lot of time, money, and frustration. Conversely, when you spot a woman who even resembles that classy, intelligent, feminine specemin that you think doesn't exist anymore, seize the opportunity immediately. Date her and see if she's the real deal. [/B]

I think men will continue to show interest in these kinds of women because they are at least attractive. The problem is the women who are not as attractive have NO other qualities that are worth a mans time. These women can get away with it because they are hot.

When most women are uselss trash the best you can do sometimes is go for the hot ones. If your are going to put up with crap you might as well put up with the crap that comes out of a hot pu-ssy.

 

[Cham101]

Mr. Cardio and Kevin make me laugh laugh laugh.

It's an entire population of women, not you.

Whatever you say.

 

[00Kevin]

Originally posted by Cham101
Mr. Cardio and Kevin make me laugh laugh laugh.

It's an entire population of women, not you.

Whatever you say.

What makes you think that?

I've made it very clear many times that a man has to lay the blame on himself for not having what he wants in life.

In order to do that he must first accept the fact that most women are useless trash.

I'm only stating the facts. Most western women are trash and that is a result of all the feminist social marketing.

When a man realizes that he can only blame himself when he doesn't have a good woman.

If a woman doesn't show high interest then a man should just next her. Get rid of those usless *****.

That is all I do. I now have a great girl that does everything of me. she even cooks for me and and gives me blow job in my car!


Once a man realizes that he should focus on his own goals and filter out all the crap things go very well.

 

[Cham101]

Originally posted by 00Kevin
What makes you think that?


.... she even cooks for me and and gives me blow job in my car!

First of all, I am very glad you are getting those all-important blow jobs in your car.

However, your entire first post is a directive on how women "should" behave and what women "should" and "shouldn't" do.

Um, most of us ladies have plenty of men seeking our companionship. Putting a far-fetched rant describing your particular vision on how all women need to change in order to better your own chances with the ladies on a men's message board seems like an act of futility. Unless, of course, it is to make some people here feel better about why they aren't having luck in the dating world.

 

[Metro]

Interesting article

I think the important thing to remember is that the blame for this lies neither solely on men nor women. Men may very well be frustrated because women act rudely toward them. I personally have never witnessed a woman with any ounce of class treat a man like dirt but I am sure it occurs. However, isn't it possible that many of these strong, intelligent, attractive women are tired of seeing 35 year old men chasing after 21 year old bimbos that can't string a coherent sentence together. And get even more frustrated when these men after being rejected by the fake-boobed, blonde bimbos turn around and say, "oh, ok, well you're not ugly, I guess you'll do."

What my main point is that these behaviors from each side are perpetuated by the actions of the other side. The more it goes on, the more frustrating it gets for each side.

Many of the posts I have read out here have made me laugh out loud. You expect your women to treat you with respect but many of the comments make it seem as if you are not willing to do so in return. Most western women are not useless trash. I happen to know a number of intelligent, attractive, fun women who wonder where all the good men have gone.

As for me, I have an MBA, a good job, am intelligent, am told by many people that I am attractive (or hot or a doll or whatever men choose to call me that day), own my own home, can carry on a conversation, actually like football and other sports, and can and will cook. I enjoy giving the man in my life special attention and showing him kindness. Sorry, I am not a hooker so I will not give him a blow job in his car, but if that's what you're looking for, there are plenty of girls who will. But do the intelligent, attractive men that have a lot going for them usually even approach me to even give me a chance to be nice or to be rude to them? No. Again, this is a cyclical, defeatist process. Perhaps if we could all treat each other with more respect and courtesy, this could stop.

 

[00Kevin]

Originally posted by Cham101
First of all, I am very glad you are getting those all-important blow jobs in your car.

However, your entire first post is a directive on how women "should" behave and what women "should" and "shouldn't" do.

Um, most of us ladies have plenty of men seeking our companionship. Putting a far-fetched rant describing your particular vision on how all women need to change in order to better your own chances with the ladies on a men's message board seems like an act of futility. Unless, of course, it is to make some people here feel better about why they aren't having luck in the dating world.

I figured you just signed up to stir up some crap. Most guys on here however won't give you the time of day. You are most likely a troll anyway.

Anyway, yes I'm sure you do have a fair number of men seeking your companionship. That isn't saying much though. I'm sure they are all wonderfull nice guys. (lol) classic examples of AFCs, men you have LJBFed or men that you just use as emotional tampons. I doubt very much that they are man enough to take you out. They are most likely cowards.

I want to make it very clear that I'm not saying that women need to change. What I'm saying is that these men have to understand how fu-cked up most of you bit-ches are. When they realize that the women they are sucking up to are nothing but trash they can get a leg up. When they realize how rude some of you ladies are they can stop being an AFC. And when that happens they realize that there is only one option. NEXT NEXT NEXT.

So I fail to see how you can claim that my post was an act of futility. It serves a purpose on this board.

The fact of the matter is women are exactly the way I described. And that is why men who have any sense of self worth and want success with women have to understand the problems I pointed out. Most western feminist women are nothing but usless trash.

In the end it does make men feel better about the issues and problems that they have faced with women. It makes them realize that most women are useless to them. In fact only the ones that show high interest merit any sort of respect or attention.

That is the main problem with alot of guys who first come to this site. They have experienced the problems I have outlined first hand. They come here wondering what they are doing wrong but they fail to realize that tis there own damn fault for giving these women attention that they don't deserve.


But as far as your perspective is concerned. Every DJ knows that the last thing you should do is listen to what women say they want.

 

[00Kevin]

Re: Interesting article

Originally posted by Metro
However, isn't it possible that many of these strong, intelligent, attractive women are tired of seeing 35 year old men chasing after 21 year old bimbos that can't string a coherent sentence together. And get even more frustrated when these men after being rejected by the fake-boobed, blonde bimbos turn around and say, "oh, ok, well you're not ugly, I guess you'll do."

I have to congratulate any man who is 35 years old and has a hot 21-year-old blonde for a girl.

Why does this happen? Well let me explain why a 35-year-old man doesn't want anything to do with a western woman his age.

1. By 30 you are usually fat and ugly

2. You think men are attracted to your intelligence (we don't care how smart you are what we care about is how nurturing and affectionate you are). The more of a provider you try to be the less attractive you are. I would much rather date an affectionate girly girl then a smart hard nosed bi-tch with a stupid career. I don’t need her money.

3. By the age of 30 you are most likely used and abused, f-cuked by many men, and your ***** stinks. You have already had your fun when you f-ucked around in your early 20s. Now you are just a cougar!

4. All the men have gone looking for 21 year old blondes because they had enough of the **** you (now older) women put them through in their 20s.

Many of the posts I have read out here have made me laugh out loud. You expect your women to treat you with respect but many of the comments make it seem as if you are not willing to do so in return. Most western women are not useless trash. I happen to know a number of intelligent, attractive, fun women who wonder where all the good men have gone.

Yes let me make it clear. We EXPECT our women to treat us with respect. If they don’t then we NEXT their bi-tch ass. Why is that so hard to understand that? No respect = no ****-en time of day! But that doesn’t mean we would not want to do the same? Like a woman you are assuming the opposite of what the guys here are saying. But I guess that is just the ******** interpretation.

But do the intelligent, attractive men that have a lot going for them usually even approach me to even give me a chance to be nice or to be rude to them? No. Again, this is a cyclical, defeatist process. Perhaps if we could all treat each other with more respect and courtesy, this could stop.

The intelligent attractive men don't approach women like you because you fail to show any interest. I mean, do you even truly know what a man wants? Do you really think it is a blonde bimbo? If you do then you are lost and that is your first problem. That is the main reason you will never have the good guys asking you out.

 

[Swoop]

I read 2 paragraphs and my mind dose off. No offense, maybe I'm just tired.

But from those 2 paragraphs, I disagree. I have met plenty of women that are kind and of course there are plenty that aren't, much like men. I dont see nothing wrong with the dating situation. Only men are discourage to take action or misunderstood what attraction is all about and fall victims to their AFC ways.

Maybe you haven't met any kind women because you only look at beautiful women? Try talking to plain janes or uglies. That should change your view. HB are usually unkind because they have to be in order to fend off all the constant approaches they get from interested men. But once you break thru the shield, many are kind.