Sir Drinksalot said:
I don't think that's true. Modern western women are just as good, if not better than men, at trashing a marriage. At least 45 - 50% of the broken marriages in which I've been a close spectator, mine included, have been 100% the woman's fault.
I agree with that. That had nothing to do with my recognition that of the specific people posting against marriage here mostly fall in those categories I listed though.
Dude, if marriage went like this even 10% of the time, I'd be all for it, and searching high and low for another wife. The fact is, most women are incapable of doing that, married or not. Some put on this as a temporary camoflage to get their wedding, their house, or whatever. But in most cases, this uncomfortable exoskeleton is quickly shed regardless of what the man does.
It sounds like you have a very rare, high quality wife. You are lucky. Count your blessings. Few men get what they bargained for a few years into the marriage. There is no way to predict whether they are sold a bad bill of goods until it's too late. You should see my neighbors - The women they married are nowhere near the women they became later. There are a lot of selfish, immature women who either make their men miserable or decide that they really didn't want to get married after the fact. I've seen a ton of marriages turn out like this - when any thinking person would've thought his wife was great marriage material.
I'll agree that 90% of the women out there probably aren't worth marrying. Thus, that would be consistent with what you're saying. But, I'm operating under the assumption that the mature men participating in this forum are not your average guys. Many of you seem on top of your game, so maybe many of you are or can be the exception too.
Yeah, my wife is a great person. I'm not half the person she is (morally speaking), and yeah i dont deserve her. So, yeah i agree i am blessed in that regard.
Remember, "women get married expecting that their husband will change and he doesn't. Men get married thinking their wife WON'T change, and she does."
Of course i've heard this catchy phrase before, and it has a nice ring to it. What was strange though was that it turned out being exactly the opposite in our case. She "improved" yeah, but the core is the same. I improved too (I hope), but i made some pretty major changes. At times, its been hard for her to adjust because all of my changes weren't to her liking, but love is keeping the bond there.
I don't think you could get most MARRIED women with a ring on their finger, a house in their name and a $50,000 a month trust fund to do most of this. Again, I think it has much more to do with the character and quality of the woman in question than it does of social/legal constructs like marriage.
Again, i'll agree with that. Restated, at least 90% of the women out there I wouldnt even consider marrying. I'll admit too i didnt necessary know she'd do my laundry before i married her (for example). But you're right, if you examine their character really closely, you can have a pretty good idea of what you're getting into before you marry them.
Bottom line, just keep the options open. Who knows; you might find a keeper when you hit 21. I think it would be sad to turn her down simply because one made an arbitrary rule that marrying, say before 28, is a mistake. The sex can be great with the same woman too. Sure, it wont always be "infatuation stage" sex, but it can be great though.
