A man's horniness vs a woman's horniness

[GoodMan32]

You dont feel any guilt or shame banging a married woman? Im not judging but I had to stop messing around ( not banging) this married chick. I felt like karma was going to get me one day. I also felt bad for the guy.

No, I don't feel guilty, nor do I feel any shame.

Even though he never officially found out about our affair (as far as I know), he was in no position to complain. The woman never would have cheated in the first place if it weren't for the inhumanely long dry spell he subjected her to.

 

[GoodMan32]

Perhaps it's something you're doing that is turning them off?

I guess you're turning them off with your behaviour. Especially if you say women check you out but become disinterested.

The fact I'm on the spectrum undoubtedly plays a big role.

 

[GoodMan32]

These are not rules but observations. Lol, watch out for those cougars. If she was young and hot, I’d put money down that would have more energy.

One time that flirtatious, 60 year old, skin-showing coworker socialized with me after work. At a venue a mere mile from where I live. Yet we never had sex (which pisses me off).

She could act flirtatious and handsy in the office, yet wouldn't invite herself over my place when she had a perfect opportunity to.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

The fact I'm on the spectrum undoubtedly plays a big role.

Yes, but how much. A spectrum represents a gliding scale. Some autism is barely noticeable, others go 'full retard'. So are you able to somewhat mask your autism or are you clearly autistic? And if you're clearly autistic, how does it show?

 

[GoodMan32]

Yes, but how much. A spectrum represents a gliding scale. Some autism is barely noticeable, others go 'full retard'. So are you able to somewhat mask your autism or are you clearly autistic? And if you're clearly autistic, how does it show?

My case of ASD is mild.

When one has severe autism, it typically shows in their appearance. A few forum members have privately seen what I look like. I remember asking one if I "look" like I'm on the spectrum (based on appearance alone). He said no.

With how mild my case is, I mask it pretty well.

My ASD mainly manifests itself in a few ways:

• Difficulty reading a woman's cues
• Lack of understanding of social norms
• Hard time relating to others
• Ritualistic behavior
• I hate uncertainty
• Not a party animal (not even when I was a teen)

If anything, the fact my case is mild is somewhat of a curse. Since I'm not clearly autistic to the outside world, they see no reason for me to possess the oddities I possess (which leads to the woman getting freaked out).

Not that being clearly autistic would be any better (in fact, my luck with the ladies would be worse if I was clearly autistic). But at least if I was clearly autistic, the outside world would know to expect oddities from me.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

If anything, the fact my case is mild is somewhat of a curse. Since I'm not clearly autistic to the outside world, they see no reason for me to possess the oddities I possess (which leads to the woman getting freaked out).

You don't appear unintelligent. Most of your autistic behaviours, like 'difficulty reading a woman's cues' and 'lack of understanding of social norms' (which are issues a lot of non-autistic man struggle with) can be 'solved' by approaching it intellectually by studying human behaviour.

There are plenty of books on (non-)verbal communication, body language, love languages, female fantasy life, and other things that could help you to overcome these behaviours.

Other traits/behaviour: not being a 'party animal' is not a problem; the last thing you want to date is a party girl if you're not a party animal yourself, so you don't need to go clubbing to find yourself a girlfriend.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Not that being clearly autistic would be any better (in fact, my luck with the ladies would be worse if I was clearly autistic). But at least if I was clearly autistic, the outside world would know to expect oddities from me.

No.
The outside world expects you to overcome your issues and assimilate into society. Even when you're autistic.
The outside world doesn't give a sh!t if you cannot adapt, most people will just ignore you, people in general don't care about you as much as you'd think. The world won't adapt to you. You're the one who has to change and not to adopt the victim mindset.

 

[GoodMan32]

You don't appear unintelligent. Most of your autistic behaviours, like 'difficulty reading a woman's cues' and 'lack of understanding of social norms' (which are issues a lot of non-autistic man struggle with) can be 'solved' by approaching it intellectually by studying human behaviour.

There are plenty of books on (non-)verbal communication, body language, love languages, female fantasy life, and other things that could help you to overcome these behaviours.

Other traits/behaviour: not being a 'party animal' is not a problem; the last thing you want to date is a party girl if you're not a party animal yourself, so you don't need to go clubbing to find yourself a girlfriend.

Good to know about the books.

I mentioned the party animal thing because partying is one of the go-to methods men use to get a woman (but as you indicated, getting with a party girl would be miserable for me)

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I mentioned the party animal thing because partying is one of the go-to methods men use to get a woman (but as you indicated, getting with a party girl would be miserable for me)

People have different lifestyles, and while many lifestyles overlap, if the lifestyles don't overlap at all, you're in for a world of rejection and failure.

 

[Pandora]

Horniness is a definitely a factor in why men cheat. There's more to it though. Since it's a lot harder for a man to get sex than for a woman to get sex, a lot of men feel like they aren't in a position to turn down sex. If a man is in a relationship, yet isn't getting sex from the woman, he'll likely take an affair if offered. I say this as a guy who cheated the very next day after I started dating a girl once.

Yes this is very true. I agree. This is 50% of the reason I cheat/cheated. I realize how scarce sex with attractive women is. I was not about to turn down an opportunity.

 

[LTG71]

One time that flirtatious, 60 year old, skin-showing coworker socialized with me after work. At a venue a mere mile from where I live. Yet we never had sex (which pisses me off).

She could act flirtatious and handsy in the office, yet wouldn't invite herself over my place when she had a perfect opportunity to.

She got the attention she was looking for and then remembered she was late for her knitting class. You’re thinking, skin, flirty, handsy = bj in the parking lot. She’s thinking, skin, flirty, handsy = tools to garner male time and attention.