A gentleman who has enough self-respect to walk away is the "bad boy"?

[squirrels]

Moral? Chicks shouldn't play head-games.

Funny thing is that I've been on both sides of this story.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Just one last thought -

The down side of regarding "having options" as a man's primary defense against stupid and manipulative behavior in a woman is that often times there are no other "contenders" on your menu, or even on the distant horizon. WE frequently have no other "options" ...

Therefore, relying on "having options" is situational and hence, unreliable.

ALternatively, walking away because she acted so badly that she violated your internalized "rules" of acceptable behavior is a much superior strategy .

Continuing to date a woman because she acts well and treats you with the required RESPECT is the essence of setting a firm frame .
Being willing to walk away in the absence of other options is true strength and is not subject to the dreaded 'scarity mentality.'
Solid SELF RESPECT is your best protection, NOT whether you have a few other "plates" that you can turn to in a crisis.

Understood, but knowing you have generated more options in the past is just as valuable as having actionable options in the present. The practice of spinning plates is less important than adopting the mindset of Plate Theory. We all have to start at (or go back to) a position of having zero plates spinning, but it's internalizing the idea that you CAN generate interest in multiple potential women and applying this to your interactions with women that's the key. You can call that self-respect, I call it acknowledging oneself as a commodity.

 

[Mr. Me]

I was thinking that, rather then confidence coming from the knowledge that you can and will find women again, first and foremost is that you have to be okay and comfortable with being alone. If being alone doesn't rattle your cage, you will always be strong enough to walk regardless of your degree of success with attracting other women.

 

[Hooligan Harry]

Interesting read.

Just wanted to say that I found it amusing how she felt she was successful and quite a catch because of it. She was 26 years old. How is anyone successful before they have achieved something spectacular? Is holding down a job and paying the rent a womans definition of success? I would call it being an adult, but then again I am a sexist pig

Its alarming just how often I meet women who like to scream from the rooftops that they are successful, smart, independent women when they are actually nothing more then plebs filling cubicles.

I would think the definition of success would be making gazillions of dollars. Or writing a best seller. Or discovering a cure for a disease. Or building something monumental. Or breaking a sporting record. You know. Something awesome. Hell, I would consider a family man who has raised 3 happy kids into adulthood with a decent education a successful person.

But to consider yourself successful because at 26 you are self reliant and can hold down a job? **** me but *****es these days have high opinions of themselves.

 

[jophil28]

But to consider yourself successful because at 26 you are self reliant and can hold down a job? **** me but *****es these days have high opinions of themselves.

Curiously, they are caught in a bind of their own making.

I know, and have known, several women who pull this shyte..."Im an independent women, strong and successful " This is frequently sprouted as self promotion by women who are really just performing basic self sufficiency tasks.
Yeah, they can pay their rent and electic bill on an average wage.. They can manage their credit cards (almost ) and pump gas in their car...and that makes them "independent" ...Wow !

I think that some women feel compelled to say this as if is is an expectation from her membership of the "sisterhood" , but I have long suspected that the "independent" woman secretly resents her independence because of its obligations to NOT leech off a man.

 

[Mr. Me]

It would be the equivalent of a healthy guy strolling down the street saying, "Look at me - I'm walking!"

>> Im an independent women, strong and successful >>

I've found this means:

"I'm a b1tch. I will compete with you. I will try to dominate, get my way. I've had to be this way to claw my way to where I am in the business world, and so, I believe that's what got me there and now I have the mindset that I must be this way with men in my personal life too. It's become me. So, if you're with me, then everything else comes first before you, you're just an appendage with an appendage."

 

[Nutz]

Just one last thought -

The down side of regarding "having options" as a man's primary defense against stupid and manipulative behavior in a woman is that often times there are no other "contenders" on your menu, or even on the distant horizon. WE frequently have no other "options" ...

Therefore, relying on "having options" is situational and hence, unreliable.

ALternatively, walking away because she acted so badly that she violated your internalized "rules" of acceptable behavior is a much superior strategy .

Continuing to date a woman because she acts well and treats you with the required RESPECT is the essence of setting a firm frame .
Being willing to walk away in the absence of other options is true strength and is not subject to the dreaded 'scarity mentality.'
Solid SELF RESPECT is your best protection, NOT whether you have a few other "plates" that you can turn to in a crisis.

^^^This.

/thread

 

[STR8UP]

Just one last thought -

The down side of regarding "having options" as a man's primary defense against stupid and manipulative behavior in a woman is that often times there are no other "contenders" on your menu, or even on the distant horizon. WE frequently have no other "options" ...

Therefore, relying on "having options" is situational and hence, unreliable.

ALternatively, walking away because she acted so badly that she violated your internalized "rules" of acceptable behavior is a much superior strategy .

Continuing to date a woman because she acts well and treats you with the required RESPECT is the essence of setting a firm frame .
Being willing to walk away in the absence of other options is true strength and is not subject to the dreaded 'scarity mentality.'
Solid SELF RESPECT is your best protection, NOT whether you have a few other "plates" that you can turn to in a crisis.

Exactly. I've been saying this for years....

Curiously, they are caught in a bind of their own making.

I know, and have known, several women who pull this shyte..."Im an independent women, strong and successful " This is frequently sprouted as self promotion by woman who are really just performing basic self sufficiency tasks only.
Yeah, they can pay their rent and electic bill on an average wage.. They can manage their credit cards (almost ) and pump gas in their car...and that makes them "independent" ...Wow !

I think that some women feel compelled to say this as if is is an expectation from the "sisterhood" , but I have long suspected that the "independent" woman secretly resents her independence because of its obligations to NOT leech off a man.

Yea, "independent" what?

When a woman says that, I hear "I know that I have more power in a relationship than a man does".

Of course we all know that as with most feminist traits, this one is great in theory but in reality it does nothing but cause conflict that breeds emotional instability and poor behavior in women.

I have spoken to a couple of women who expressed that they were striving to be independent because they witnessed their mothers go through divorces and did not want to find themselves without support options (as if alimony and child support don't exist) and I can respect that stance. I think this is a different type of woman than the one who wants to compete with men.

One thing is for certain though......in todays world most people work, even married women, so this whole "asserting my independence" thing is mainly women talking sh!t to feel good about themselves.

 

[fertileTurtle]

We were in contact for a while, he asked me out and I resisted for a while until my sister told me to give it a go and that one date can’t hurt

She implicitly blamed her sister. LOL

 

[Blue Phoenix]

She is chasing the validation. This was a big ego investment. Hot women with many options have bigger egos. Without validation, they melt.

I agree. If they don´t respect you, they can´t really love you. So, if they cross the line, GAME OVER.:kick:

 

[window]

If you're a good looking single girl you can probably have about 20 - 30 plates who are more than happy to take you out for dinner at a nice restaurant. Basically this guy was a challenge. As Doc Love sais challenge, confidence, and control. The guy provided all three. At the end he displayed complete control and was even courteous to her instead of explaining why he stopped calling her and getting into a slinging match. This would have drove her mad no end....the guy didn't need to be a bad boy or jerk. He just needed to be in control. Not of her but himself. Which he was. Whats driving her crazy though is she knows that even though she can run 20 - 30 plates a guy like this is as rare as hen's teeth.

 

[wjh]

She implicitly blamed her sister. LOL

ya, it's ridiculous. i noticed that bit myself.

 

[DanelMadr]

So there you go, nice guys aren't ACTUALLY not interested in sex, they just pretend not to be because they think that will make them stand out from the herd, and get... sex. "desexualizing themselves as a method to get sex" lol.

I honestly, genuinely used to think I was above all that and therefore was different like we discussed before. But I guess I was lying to myself. Because all the girls I was nice to, all I wanted to do was fvck them. But I was a phony.

Now I act much more sexual around women, do stuff many guys would say "oh don't do that! That's jerk/and or too forward" and the chicks like it. Just like you say, the dude who actually acts with HONESTY about being sexual, gets the chick all crazy over him.

There must not be many men who are DJ then if she's truly come to expect AFC behavior like it was just a given.

Nice guys don't do that as a trick though.
Nice Guys do it because they are afraid of their sexuality.
They want to cuddle not mate.
They are boys not Men.

 

[Falcon25]

Notice the first two words that she describes him. "Gorgeous, successful, charming". THAT IS THE ORDER. You read that boys. That is the order.

 

[DanelMadr]

Good analysis Rollo.

I have to admit I've seen a lot of resemblance with my dating life. I get the feeling lots of girls get extreme with me, thinking "PLAYER".
And it was almost sad reading about her being afraid to fall in love and get burnt and therefore shooting herself in the leg with all that shyt. I see that all the time.

I have to say every time a girl pulls a shyt test on me, my IL goes down a few points. When eventually it turns to a pure power struggle...and I eject. I can't fvck witches.

So maybe if I asked her out after all, she would change and become the sweet loving person.....But I had to give myself a slap. If a girl is pulling this shyt it is not "meant to be" :-D She is just not sweet loving person....she is disturbed b1tch.

 

[thedude4242]

jokker31 you are exactly right about a lot of teenage brains in adult bodies. a bad boy or a bad a$$ is a guy who can walk away from the fight laughing at the other guy pulling his chain and making him into a joke while the other guys continues to get pissed off more.

 

[Zarky]

I think for many women, relationships are more about having an employee than an equal. With just a little experience though most guys can detect and avoid those types fairly easily. It's only the desperate guys who stick with those kinds of women.

 

[DanelMadr]

I've read the comments on that site and I was surprised. There is lots of no BS advice to her, basically telling her that her games are her insecurities (that she does not deserve someone in demand) speaking and that it is no wonder the guy ejected, because when she gets psycho b1tch (hot and cold) this early on what will happen when they would hit a real bump?

And they told her she just assumed things about him and treated him badly for no real reason. And if he was a player he wouldn't eject but responded to her change of mind and emotional blackmail, when she told him she likes him...and he would fvck her and then dump her. Dumping her before that made him just a good man and a real catch not a player.

No surprise with her follow up on situation...Her friends presumably confirmed he has cheating history...so he is a player for sure (heh)...and he finally asked her out but she is going to dump him. He he...fvcking ego trip...they just have to the dumping. If a guy rejects them they go apeshyt.
And her psycho b1tch behaviour was because she was in love not because she is psycho.
I understand when a girl in love cries to her pillow. but insulting a person for no reason???? That is not love speaking. That is spoiled little princess ego speaking.

 

[jophil28]

I've read the comments on that site and I was surprised.

I took another look at the comments and I noticed another example of women agreeing with a POV which is strongly expressed. There were several male opinions which were well delivered and accurate, and the female comments mostly agreed with them .
Ironically, in this case, most of these early comments also disagreed with the Bossy Baitch who initially sympathized with the OP and started painting the guy as a loser...
And then when enough comments disagreed with BOssy Pants she did a 180 and portrayed that guy as a good guy who got away.

Talk about being swayed by the wind of popular opinon ?

 

[Lexington]

I am just shocked by how this girl just can't take ownership for her actions. Hell, the women who have replied haven't even called her out on it. "It's because he's a bastard and a player....you did nothing wrong!"

This girl admitted to saying hurtful, insulting things. She confessed to pushing him away and playing various other games with him. Could that have anything to do with it!? Of course not! That guy is just an a**hole.

Hell, this guy is being VERY nice. He didn't even call her out on her BS and he's trying to let her down easy.