A different approach to women

Climax

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 2, 2004
Messages
2,329
Reaction score
5
Approaching is something that 99% of men, no matter how much of a "Don Juan" or a "PUA" they are, will always be somewhat "scary" ... And not because of the fear of rejection per se , but rather of the unknown. Here you are approaching a complete stranger, and you have no clue what the outcome will be... You immediately sub contentiously make up scenes in your head of the way you THINK things will go etc. Its only natural. Think of it this way.. Lets say you are going to an amusement park for the 1st time, you've seen pictures of it and it seems like a really nice place... But the 1st time you go you will always have that "excitement" about it that you wont have AS MUCH OF the next time you go to the amusement park. Now this can be related, in a sense, to approaching women.

You are in a club, and you see this beautiful woman, she looks beautiful and seems like a nice person, but there is still that factor of her being "unknown" to you.

Now what I am getting at is as follows... After approaching many women, one will slowly begin to realise the familiar patterns in the behavior of a woman when you approach her... her body language, her tone of voice, the way she looks at you, etc. Now in general, a woman that IS interested in you will naturally give out some of these signs that will give you the impression that she is into you. Or Visa versa in some cases.

Anyways, onto the more important stuff... The approach itself. Now lets think about this for a second... Lets pretend that you are the girl, and now there is this guy that approaches you... Now how would you want to be approached? Would you be impressed if you had a nervous guy standing in front of you trying to do whatever he can to try and impress you/not make a fool of himself? I don't think so.

There is this type of "wall" that stands between a stranger and people that know each other. This doesnt only apply with women... Think about it.. Think of one of your closest friends.. You can do anything around them, you feel completely comfortable around them. But before you knew that person, he/she was a stranger to you, and that comfort wasn't there. If you noticed, I put the word "comfort" in bold... because this is one of the most important, yet overlooked aspects with regards to meeting women. If you get a woman to feel comfortable around you, and eliminate that awkwardness/uncomfortable feeling, then you are already a few steps ahead of any other guys in that club/bar/wherever you are.

Now in order to achieve this you might think that you will need to do something drastic etc, but in order to accomplish this you really need to just do something simple, and easy... And thats to just BE comfortable around women, and make them FEEL comfortable around you.

There has always been those "ice breakers" etc floating around, but those don't really do the job right, because you "break the ice", and then you still need to work on making her feel comfortable around you.

MY way is that you practically TREAT a complete strange woman as if you have known her for a long time already.

I'll give you an example... last night me and a few friends went to a party and I had my eye on a girl there, she seemed like the type that was rather shy too, yet I went up to her and gave her my glass (I was drinking Vodka & lime at the time, though I like Jack & lime more these days), anyways, so I give her my glass and say "Can you just hold onto that for me for 2 secs plz, I just need to go outside and make a call quick, thanx *smile*" and I walk outside and make a phone call. I then come back about 2 minutes later and she was standing at the bar, about 2 meters away from where i gave her the glass.. So I go up to her and say "Hey, thanx for that, had to make a call and you looked innocent enough to not steal my drink... I'm Tommy by the way *put out arm to shake her hand* (I say this in a C&F kinda way while flirting with her at the same time.)

She then Told me her name, shook hands and by this time she was already feeling comfortable around me. (I was different, confident, and a little funny) But now I never said to myself "okay she is comfortable, now i can start being nervous" .. no... I spoke to her as if she was one of my good girl friends.... Some people might think "but arent you going to get sucked into the "friendship zone" if you treat her like a good female friend?" .. Well the answer is no... because you are not treating her like a "good female friend", you are just giving her the comfort that a good female friend has around you, yet you are also flirting and "clicking" with her (I said "clicking" because of something that I wrote further down) ... I asked her about herself, told her about my life (not too long, don't wanna bore her, just a brief summary of my life) and then after about 10 - 15 minutes of just talking & sipping on our drinks, I had her laughing, telling ME jokes and all this stuff that she did in her life etc... things a girl wouldn't normally tell a stranger that she just met 20 minutes ago:D ... But anyways, my point being... Its about your mindset and the "environment" that you make for a girl when she is around you. If you are confident, jumpy/full of life, make her feel like she can do anything in front of you and u wont judge her, make her feel good/special, then the results will reflect accordingly.

Anyways, to cut a long story short, by the end of the night I had her telling me that she had never "clicked" with a guy so quickly in her life, and then made me promise her that I would call her the following day. (which is today :woo:)

And to think that all I did was make her feel comfortable around me and perhaps create more of a funky and fun environment around me, as appose to the usual anxiuose/worried approach that she is probably use to. :p

So guys, if you still have that anxiety with approaching women, then why not try a different, less awkward, more effective way? Try it out and let me know how it goes... I have been having huge success with this type of approach... Remember, with this approach, you're doing a whole lot more than just "breaking the ice" ... You are metaphorically shoving that ice block into a burning oven... And trust me, it will make most women melt... :D

Looking forward for some progressive feedback:)


Laterz...
 
Joined
Sep 5, 2006
Messages
22
Reaction score
0
You make an interesting point, and I'd like to add a bit of my own experience to it.

When I was getting over my approach anxiety long ago, I didn't realize that when I was nervous around women, it also made them nervous and uncomfortable.

Then, someone had the decency to advise me that "people don't like 'nervous' people."

Okay? I didn't quite get it until I, myself, was approached by another 'nervous' person. Then, I became more aware of how uncomfortable it really makes ME feel when someone else who is nervous starts talking to me.

It is a very eye-opening experience, because you never quite understand how you are acting yourself until you have the same way you are acting to others - to happen to yourself.

It's like looking in the mirror.

After that, it was like a turning point. I understood that to make women comfortable, you must also be comfortable. Calm, confident, and relaxed. Make more prolonged eye contact, etc.

Since then I have been much more aware of body language, posture, voice tone, etc. of myself and others in the vicinity.

As a tip, I would suggest you try to video tape yourself and replay it. There is so much you can learn about yourself. Try it.
 

Climax

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 2, 2004
Messages
2,329
Reaction score
5
yip..

myspacepickupguide : Exactly, I am happy that you are able to relate to what I said. :)

Its all about going out and having fun at the end of the day:woo:


Laterz...
 

skip2mylou781

Banned
Joined
Jan 14, 2006
Messages
1,797
Reaction score
11
Age
40
~ªêQµïTª$~ said:
Approaching is something that 99% of men, no matter how much of a "Don Juan" or a "PUA" they are, will always be somewhat "scary" ... And not because of the fear of rejection per se , but rather of the unknown. Here you are approaching a complete stranger, and you have no clue what the outcome will be... You immediately sub contentiously make up scenes in your head of the way you THINK things will go etc. Its only natural. Think of it this way.. Lets say you are going to an amusement park for the 1st time, you've seen pictures of it and it seems like a really nice place... But the 1st time you go you will always have that "excitement" about it that you wont have AS MUCH OF the next time you go to the amusement park. Now this can be related, in a sense, to approaching women.

You are in a club, and you see this beautiful woman, she looks beautiful and seems like a nice person, but there is still that factor of her being "unknown" to you.

Now what I am getting at is as follows... After approaching many women, one will slowly begin to realise the familiar patterns in the behavior of a woman when you approach her... her body language, her tone of voice, the way she looks at you, etc. Now in general, a woman that IS interested in you will naturally give out some of these signs that will give you the impression that she is into you. Or Visa versa in some cases.

Anyways, onto the more important stuff... The approach itself. Now lets think about this for a second... Lets pretend that you are the girl, and now there is this guy that approaches you... Now how would you want to be approached? Would you be impressed if you had a nervous guy standing in front of you trying to do whatever he can to try and impress you/not make a fool of himself? I don't think so.

There is this type of "wall" that stands between a stranger and people that know each other. This doesnt only apply with women... Think about it.. Think of one of your closest friends.. You can do anything around them, you feel completely comfortable around them. But before you knew that person, he/she was a stranger to you, and that comfort wasn't there. If you noticed, I put the word "comfort" in bold... because this is one of the most important, yet overlooked aspects with regards to meeting women. If you get a woman to feel comfortable around you, and eliminate that awkwardness/uncomfortable feeling, then you are already a few steps ahead of any other guys in that club/bar/wherever you are.

Now in order to achieve this you might think that you will need to do something drastic etc, but in order to accomplish this you really need to just do something simple, and easy... And thats to just BE comfortable around women, and make them FEEL comfortable around you.

There has always been those "ice breakers" etc floating around, but those don't really do the job right, because you "break the ice", and then you still need to work on making her feel comfortable around you.

MY way is that you practically TREAT a complete strange woman as if you have known her for a long time already.

I'll give you an example... last night me and a few friends went to a party and I had my eye on a girl there, she seemed like the type that was rather shy too, yet I went up to her and gave her my glass (I was drinking Vodka & lime at the time, though I like Jack & lime more these days), anyways, so I give her my glass and say "Can you just hold onto that for me for 2 secs plz, I just need to go outside and make a call quick, thanx *smile*" and I walk outside and make a phone call. I then come back about 2 minutes later and she was standing at the bar, about 2 meters away from where i gave her the glass.. So I go up to her and say "Hey, thanx for that, had to make a call and you looked innocent enough to not steal my drink... I'm Tommy by the way *put out arm to shake her hand* (I say this in a C&F kinda way while flirting with her at the same time.)

She then Told me her name, shook hands and by this time she was already feeling comfortable around me. (I was different, confident, and a little funny) But now I never said to myself "okay she is comfortable, now i can start being nervous" .. no... I spoke to her as if she was one of my good girl friends.... Some people might think "but arent you going to get sucked into the "friendship zone" if you treat her like a good female friend?" .. Well the answer is no... because you are not treating her like a "good female friend", you are just giving her the comfort that a good female friend has around you, yet you are also flirting and "clicking" with her (I said "clicking" because of something that I wrote further down) ... I asked her about herself, told her about my life (not too long, don't wanna bore her, just a brief summary of my life) and then after about 10 - 15 minutes of just talking & sipping on our drinks, I had her laughing, telling ME jokes and all this stuff that she did in her life etc... things a girl wouldn't normally tell a stranger that she just met 20 minutes ago:D ... But anyways, my point being... Its about your mindset and the "environment" that you make for a girl when she is around you. If you are confident, jumpy/full of life, make her feel like she can do anything in front of you and u wont judge her, make her feel good/special, then the results will reflect accordingly.

Anyways, to cut a long story short, by the end of the night I had her telling me that she had never "clicked" with a guy so quickly in her life, and then made me promise her that I would call her the following day. (which is today :woo:)

And to think that all I did was make her feel comfortable around me and perhaps create more of a funky and fun environment around me, as appose to the usual anxiuose/worried approach that she is probably use to. :p

So guys, if you still have that anxiety with approaching women, then why not try a different, less awkward, more effective way? Try it out and let me know how it goes... I have been having huge success with this type of approach... Remember, with this approach, you're doing a whole lot more than just "breaking the ice" ... You are metaphorically shoving that ice block into a burning oven... And trust me, it will make most women melt... :D

Looking forward for some progressive feedback:)


Laterz...
i love that approach u did on that girl makin her hold the glass....but dude why did u just get the # and not hook up with her that nite? or did u?
 

Climax

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 2, 2004
Messages
2,329
Reaction score
5
skip2mylou781 : hehe I did kiss her... and got a good amount of kino going too... But I dont like giving too much too soon, you know?:p But yeah, was a fun and interesting night... Looking forward to seeing her again sometime soon:)


Laterz...
 

skip2mylou781

Banned
Joined
Jan 14, 2006
Messages
1,797
Reaction score
11
Age
40
ive read some of ur old threads.......i LOVE ur posts, keep doin more of that

fyi - ur IMPOSSIBLE to search for (with all those weird syllables in ur name), so Im glad u popped back up lol
 

Climax

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 2, 2004
Messages
2,329
Reaction score
5
skip2mylou781 said:
ive read some of ur old threads.......i LOVE ur posts, keep doin more of that

fyi - ur IMPOSSIBLE to search for (with all those weird syllables in ur name), so Im glad u popped back up lol
hehe thanx man... Good to be back:D ... And yeah... I know my nick is a little confusing... I guess I was feeling a little OVER-creative when I chose it:D ...

P.s.: I normaly say "Laterz" at the end of most of my posts, so try do a search for the word "laterz" :p


Laterz...
 

Bvbidd

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 16, 2006
Messages
1,482
Reaction score
8
I think getting girls is the same thing as when you attract people to you by being a postive person. Regardless of what you actually do. :D :up:

Give off the vibes your not nervous, relaxed, experienced and that you get her horny. ;)

lol and that unknown factor for us will always work in our favour if you need to come to this site in the first place.
 

arlanda

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 31, 2005
Messages
297
Reaction score
0
Location
Europe
I'd like to add something I think is quite important and will answer some of those neverending "but it didn't work for me".

Well, as in every man-woman interaction she has to find you good looking in order for you to get any further. We all subconciously believe that good (better) looking people are more friendly and basically nice people so we usually treat them better.

So yes, she felt comfortable with him but she may as well flake on him if he didn't really "turn her on" - depends on how many "interesting and funny" guys she meets every week and how "shallow" the girl is (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marginal_rate_of_substitution and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indifference_curve).

I believe everyone here understands that every sane person will choose a product (yes, that's YOU :D) which provides maximum utility (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Utility)

For younger girls this usually means the hotter the better, mature woman usually aren't so shallow and won't dump you just because you're one ugly mofo - if you are rich that is :)
 

arlanda

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 31, 2005
Messages
297
Reaction score
0
Location
Europe
No. It all goes back to unique preferences of every individual human being.

Some people care more about looks, others have ... different preferences. I for one am quite willing to compromise (ie. I don't need a modelesque chick if she's hot ENOUGH and we click). Girls are the same, I think. Everyone ultimately wants the same, to be happy (max. utlity)
 

skip2mylou781

Banned
Joined
Jan 14, 2006
Messages
1,797
Reaction score
11
Age
40
arlanda....theres no compromise ud make for any girl who didnt meet SOME standard of looks....thus if a hb3 ever approached u and hit on u, ud REJECT HER ASS as soon as u layed eyes on her, correct?
 

arlanda

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 31, 2005
Messages
297
Reaction score
0
Location
Europe
Of course. The concept of minumum looks requirement is valid. However, let's say you're really into anal and your bimbo HB9 isn't. Realize that she isn't HB9 anymore ... actually she'd be like -10 :) Wouldn't you rather choose HB6 who likes it in the ass? Some people would, some wouldn't.

It's the same with girls. Some would and some wouldn't get over you being ugly and all.
 

skip2mylou781

Banned
Joined
Jan 14, 2006
Messages
1,797
Reaction score
11
Age
40
hmmm for anal yes, but showing off/dating no

but read my thread about looks and ull see what i mean

yes, if ur a guy and ur a 7, u can deff get 8s and 9s, and maybe even a 10....cuz looking like a 7, when u approach a chick, she wont completely reject u the first second she sees u

however if ur a 3, then she WILL reject u

do u realize how many guys on sosuave are outta shape and weird looking (probably worse than 5), they use the techniques they learn on sosuave, go out and use them, and come back complaining because they try to go for hb8+ and wonder why techniques dont work..........ITS ABOUT HOW THEY LOOK, THATS WHY THEY FAIL

a guy whos a 9 will have an hb8 gettin all AFC on his ass and stalkin him to see him sometime, ive had a couple hb6's do that to me (prob cuz to an hb6, im a god lol) even tho im deff no higher than an 8
 

Climax

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 2, 2004
Messages
2,329
Reaction score
5
"Each to his own" ... That is probably the best way to explain it... Most HB9's wont like a guy thats a 3, sure, but you DO get the HB9's that WOULD date a guy thats a 3 just because of a quality in him that overrides looks in her eyes. If you are at a club, the women there are generally mature enough for a relationship and not just fun and games.

So what I am really trying to say is YES, its obvious that the CHANCES of a guy that is a 3 getting with an HB9 are very slim, yet possible... So if a guy that is a 3 gets rejected a few times, then who cares? Lets look at the word "rejection" for a second... I don't really see whats SO bad about this? To me, this simply means that you aren't the type of that SPECIFIC girl that you approached, thats all, each to his own... But that doesn't mean that the hot woman next to her wont like a certain quality in the guy thats a 3... It could be anything from being able to make her laugh, or making her feel special whenever she is with him, etc....

Hope I could clarify things for you guys:)


Laterz...
 

wayword

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 13, 2006
Messages
1,478
Reaction score
21
Location
BFE
~ªêQµïTª$~ said:
So what I am really trying to say is YES, its obvious that the CHANCES of a guy that is a 3 getting with an HB9 are very slim, yet possible...
Well, both sides of the equation must balance - and since looks do matter a fair bit to most people, it's very difficult for a male 3 to ever equal the value of an HB9. He'd either have to have some extreme alpha status or supplicate the hell outta her...

So, it's not just getting the girl, but what you have to do to achieve parity and get her. And I personally wouldn't respect any guy who slaves to a woman just to get her. That doesn't prove what a stud he is, only what a dud he is.
 

skip2mylou781

Banned
Joined
Jan 14, 2006
Messages
1,797
Reaction score
11
Age
40
ummm if ur famous/celebrity and ur ugly, then yes of course u can get everyday hb10s off the street........my argument is assuming that the guy ISNT famous and well known/really high status, but rather my argument is that the guy is a sosuave guy whos got a normal life, but is a 3 in looks, and goes out tryin to pick up chicks wayyy out of his league - that guy will get rejected 100% of the time by an hb9 THE INSTANT SHE SEES HIM....she mite still talk to him, but in her mind shes made up rite away that she doesnt wanan be touched, kissed, or fvcked by that guy who is a 3
 

Climax

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 2, 2004
Messages
2,329
Reaction score
5
but in her mind shes made up rite away that she doesnt wanan be touched, kissed, or fvcked by that guy who is a 3
And who is "she" exactly? You seem to be generalising here. And I never said that the guy that was a 3 was a celeb or rich.

To me, this simply means that you aren't the type of that SPECIFIC girl that you approached, thats all, each to his own... But that doesn't mean that the hot woman next to her wont like a certain quality in the guy thats a 3... It could be anything from being able to make her laugh, or making her feel special whenever she is with him, etc....
 

skip2mylou781

Banned
Joined
Jan 14, 2006
Messages
1,797
Reaction score
11
Age
40
ah but u see, i am talkign about the second the guy catches her eyes and she sees hes ugly, she wont even give him a chance to explore the kinda guy he is........by SHE, i am talking about a girl whos out of a guys league (aka hb8 if the guy is a 2, hb 9 if the guy is a 3, hb 10 if the guy is a 4, and so on)

DUDE please tell me, if a possibly wonderful sweet loving girl came up to YOU, and she was an HB2 aka pretty damn repulsive, would YOU even give her a chance to open her mouth and try to get to kno her, or would u reject her 100%?
 
Top