6 months dating her, no sex and she broke up with me

[Dr.Suave]

Been dating this girl (27 y/o) for 6 months. Haven't had sex with her, she had only one boyfriend and she told me she only has sex during serious relationship. We were pretty close to having sex couple of times, but she break it off in the last minute. Whenever i brougt the topic that we should start officially dating and become a couple, she told me "she is not sure yet, and need more time". But she also was messaging, calling me first a lot of times. So i think interest was there.

Recently, she broke up with me saying "You're a very cool, smart guy. You are very generous, knows how take care of a woman, you organized amazing dates, gifts. But spark is not there"

While on one hand its ideal to find a girl with less than 5 notches, on the other hand I always avoided girls that have only had exactly 1 boyfriend/notch as I always thought there was a high probability of them being alpha-widowed.

She really pair-bonded with the guy. Now its gonna be really hard to pair-bond with someone else. You have to rise to the top of her Desdinova´s High Score List if you want a chance but its not so simple to compete with the 1st and only guy in the world who has had his d1ck inside her.

Here´s how to get her back: Get over her. You cant fake it, it has to be the real deal. If you really get over her, there´s a good chance she will come back. Ironically, you wont want her then.

 

[Robert28]

This girl is for the streets, which is where she will end up. Just make sure you learn the lessons from this and use it to your advantage next time. I wouldn’t waste another second on this girl, now or in the future if she ever contacts you. Let the streets have her, like I said. You’re moving on to better things.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Yeah I agree with that mindset things would end again sooner or later. But thats actually included in the plan to get her back. OP best thing you can do is go no contact and do some self-improvement. If she ever reaches out to you, tell her that you are busy and planned to focus on other things you go basically no contact.

If she asks what you are busy with be vague and say that you are working on a project and wanna focus on other things like fitness and health. Meanwhile you take the no contact as your time to self-improve and focus completely on yourself, use the time wisely otherwise things will end again. You want to get her to chase you

This is honestly your only best option to create attraction, get your self respect and confidence back all in all what you need to get her back. She may come or not come back, you turned her off a lot until she lost all attraction, but still your only best option

IMO, I don't think he ever even turned her on

A woman will absolutely string along a guy for months who showers her with gifts and great dates. She knew within a date or two if you gave her the tingles so everything after that was her taking advantage of your generosity and naivety for free stuff. Going forward, remember that if a woman isn't having sex with you within a few dates she's friend zoned you permanently and you need to move on. I especially like how she blamed your lack of discussion about your personal life for not wanting to have sex with you. This is total nonsense and just her way of making her taking advantage of you for months all your fault. You need to run in the opposite direction.

It was all his fault tho, to be fair.

 

[Robert28]

IMO, I don't think he ever even turned her on

It was all his fault tho, to be fair.

In all fairness, it’s hard to turn on an alpha widow or whatever she was. The girl just has issues and snakes in her head, it’s obvious. It’s going to take her ex or a psychopath to appeal to her.

 

[Don732]

update: She messaged me saying "don't beat yourself up, it's life **** happens, just didn't work out" and also she told me that in the begining when i was taking her to the nice restaraunts, giving her gifts freaked her out. She said "you don't even know me but were showering me with all those nice things for no reason". She said you did it so well, that i had a thought it might worked out , thus gave you a chance , but it just didn't happen during such long time.

That's rough to hear, but i mean i was raised that way that i should take a good care of woman i'm dating. Thus, it's pretty much normal to me. In the end damn it, seems like deep down i don't know even how to treat woman in a right way to get them into romantic relationships.
Totally agree with @BlackInGame, that it was all my fault and low competience on what to do with women.

 

[Robert28]

update: She messaged me saying "don't beat yourself up, it's life **** happens, just didn't work out" and also she told me that in the begining when i was taking her to the nice restaraunts, giving her gifts freaked her out. She said "you don't even know me but were showering me with all those nice things for no reason". She said you did it so well, that i had a thought it might worked out , thus gave you a chance , but it just didn't happen during such long time.

That's rough to hear, but i mean i was raised that way that i should take a good care of woman i'm dating. Thus, it's pretty much normal to me. In the end damn it, seems like deep down i don't know even how to treat woman in a right way to get them into romantic relationships.
Totally agree with @BlackInGame, that it was all my fault and low competience on what to do with women.

This confirms it. She’s definitely for the streets after reading her text she sent you. She can’t handle someone being kind to her, like I said….she’s got mental issues. You still have many lessons to learn from this but just be glad you didn’t end up with this girl. You dodged a major bullet and don’t see it yet but you will. You go on living your life and becoming a better man, let her stay in the streets where she belongs.

 

[Marc_zeus]

How to treat them you ask? It is very simple, treat them the same way you would like to be trated in every aspect of your life. Would you like your friends, neighbours, coworkers to treat you like sh.t and always use you as they see fit or you would like to be treated with respect ( if i want something from you i better deserve it in some way, shape or form ). So in conclusion treat them like you HAVE SPINE, and the second you see it's a one way street use that spine and run in the oposite direction.

 

[Robert28]

How to treat them you ask? It is very simple, treat them the same way you would like to be trated in every aspect of your life. Would you like your friends, neighbours, coworkers to treat you like sh.t and always use you as they see fit or you would like to be treated with respect ( if i want something from you i better deserve it in some way, shape or form ). So in conclusion treat them like you HAVE SPINE, and the second you see it's a one way street use that spine and run in the oposite direction.

My friends would never take advantage of my willingness to help out or my kindness though. They know if I do then a favor they do me one, it doesn’t even get spoken about, it just goes without saying. Women have this screwed up view of what real friendship and respect is, which is why so many women don’t have lifelong friends like men do.

 

[member160292]

update: She messaged me saying "don't beat yourself up, it's life **** happens, just didn't work out" and also she told me that in the begining when i was taking her to the nice restaraunts, giving her gifts freaked her out. She said "you don't even know me but were showering me with all those nice things for no reason". She said you did it so well, that i had a thought it might worked out , thus gave you a chance , but it just didn't happen during such long time.

That's rough to hear, but i mean i was raised that way that i should take a good care of woman i'm dating. Thus, it's pretty much normal to me. In the end damn it, seems like deep down i don't know even how to treat woman in a right way to get them into romantic relationships.
Totally agree with @BlackInGame, that it was all my fault and low competience on what to do with women.

We're all here to learn, brotha

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

You should have given her til the 4th or 5th date max and then sat her down and basically told her that if she isn't physically interested in you then you aren't able to date her and then she would have either fvcked you or moved on because she had low interest, which is what likely would have happened.

@Don732

Naw bruh.

4th or 5th date my ass.

Why would you take a chance investing $100-$150 on a woman through 4-5 dates, when she knows whether she will fuk you or not within first date (or before).

If a woman isn't down to let you smash BEFORE or after the first date, then there is no need for a second date.

You guys don't have any self value or worth, so you let the woman run sh!t and set the tone.

It is disgusting, quite frankly.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

@Don732

Naw bruh.

4th or 5th date my ass.

Why would you take a chance investing $100-$150 on a woman through 4-5 dates, when she knows whether she will fuk you or not within first date (or before).

If a woman isn't down to let you smash BEFORE or after the first date, then there is no need for a second date.

You guys don't have any self value or worth, so you let the woman run sh!t and set the tone.

It is disgusting, quite frankly.

And it's hilarious when you complain there are no quality women but yet dump any that don't fvck on the first date. Not all women are skanks...I know it's hard to believe based on the type of women you normally go after tho.

There are no hard and fast rules. Only people applying them without context that fvck themselves over running around yelling about mode one and being alpha.

 

[CollegeMan22]

@Don732

Naw bruh.

4th or 5th date my ass.

Why would you take a chance investing $100-$150 on a woman through 4-5 dates, when she knows whether she will fuk you or not within first date (or before).

If a woman isn't down to let you smash BEFORE or after the first date, then there is no need for a second date.

You guys don't have any self value or worth, so you let the woman run sh!t and set the tone.

It is disgusting, quite frankly.

The girls I banged on the 1st date left after a week or so for a new ride. The girls it took 2-4 dates to bang have continued to see me for many months. Which one is better? Which one leads to more sex (and more consistent sex too) with less effort? It seems pretty obvious to me.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

It really doesn’t matter because there is still any form of investment from her side, she will get curious and reach out to him and when he is doing what I adviced, right there is where she will be turned on.
Woman are pretty dumb no matter how high their IQs are, they all do the same mistake, all of them are easily manipulated because they all follow and prioritize their "emotions."

No bro...a woman has to actually have some level of sexual interest for that to happen. In OPs case she simply won't care.

 

[Robert28]

You don't what you're saying, humans take advantage of other humans if there are no boundaries in place. Its human nature.


Bro nobody wants everything for free, people have to earn it, specially women. She was conflicted cause you treated her super well, but she didn't earn it, she knew that was how she wanted to be treated but in her mind something was out of place, way too much way too soon. That shows trying to hard for her to like you, to fall for you, that shows lack of experience, of options, it shows you think she's more than you and woman wanna be with a giant, not somebody who thinks she's more than you

If you give everything to every woman all the time, you'll be thinking all women are bad for taking advantage of you and you'll never gonna learn.

There are unspoken boundaries in place. I agree humans have the ability to take advantage of others, some choose not to while others choose to take advantage because they don’t value the relationship or friendship enough. Those are toxic ass people you need to weed out your life. I can ask random strangers for $1 and I bet I’ll get $10 by the end of the day but I don’t do it. I can ask my friends to loan me some tools and they will, but they expect me to return them in the same shape as I borrowed them. No we didn’t sit down and hash out boundaries when we first met 30 years ago, it’s just what you do as a normal person. Those that take advantage are usually on the spectrum and don’t understand or value relationships because they have the thinking of a child.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

The girls I banged on the 1st date left after a week or so for a new ride.

After you hit, what you/they do after that is irrelevant.

The girls it took 2-4 dates to bang have continued to see me for many months.

I guess so. The more you feed a dog, the more it tends to hang around your house.

Which one is better?
Which one leads to more sex (and more consistent sex too)

Well, first of all, that is your experience.

If you were that dude in the eyes of those women, then those first daters would have stayed; and it wouldn't have taken 2-4 dates to bag those others.

with less effort? It seems pretty obvious to me.

How does 2-4 dates require less effort than one?

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

And it's hilarious when you complain there are no quality women

When did I say that?

If I approach a woman, she is of quality to me.

but yet dump any that don't fvck on the first date.

I am at levels now to whereas I need to get physical with a woman BEFORE even a first date.

I'm not investing money in a woman if she don't invest her body to me first.

I am an apex MODE ONE predator.

Well past alpha sh!t.

And if you are that dude, then going on a date isn't even a REQUIREMENT to smash a chick in the first place.

But that is high level mentality, heights that most of you guys will never get to because of low level thinking and confidence.

Not all women are skanks...I know it's hard to believe based on the type of women you normally go after tho.

Nonsense. The idea is to be the exception to her "I don't fuk on the first date" rule...and if she breaks her rule for you, that says less about her, and more about you.

There are no hard and fast rules. Only people applying them without context that fvck themselves over running around yelling about mode one and being alpha.

Guys that lack the balls to go mode one are critical mode one.

 

[MatureDJ]

@Don732 cannot salvage the current situation and needs to walk away.

Best thing @Don732 can do is lift weights, get big muscles, and become the 'top tier' guy women want to drop their panties for quickly.

What if he is short?

 

[HaleyBaron]

I would argue that you did not have "it." And because you did not have "it", she never fell into your frame. I hear all this "almost naked" and other moments and I bet you were too forceful during those instead of smoothly making her remove her clothes. Women like a man who wants sex, contrary to belief. If she was being standoffish I would have pushed her gently down onto the couch/ bed by the wrist, made out with her, and started unclothing her. It is just something you get from experience and feeling the vibe. But I doubt you can even pull that off. You have to first be the guy she wanted you to be before you could go to second and third base. You lost this fish. Move on and stop sticking with a woman for six months like that.

 

[SW15]

What if he is short?

If he's shorter than average, big muscles won't help too much. Big muscles help for average height guys and taller guys too.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Enough posts have already been made on this topic that I don't really have much else to say to the OP, but I have some other comments...

I remember posting a story of mine on RooshV way back in 2017 about a FWB I had for 6 months who I broke up with due to her not recriprocating affection. They revealed how she was manipulating me and it made me get back to the red pill, and this was over considerably more subtle and less obvious behavior than the OP described. But to date a girl for 6 months with no sex? How can this be anything short of insidious levels of manipulation?

This makes me wonder just how many "couples" you see in public are like this. How common is it for women to only "date" men that they can completely control like the OP? I think most the replies in this topic are understating how manipulative this girl was to spare OPs feelings. I would not at all be surprised if she was fvcking some other dude most of the time. If not, she was at the very least talking to other men and probably going on dates or kissing or whatever else.

Either way this sickens me and I think this might be the tip of the iceberg. If a women can manipulate a man for 6 months without sex what else did she do to this poor man and his self esteem? I can only imagine the gaslighting and other nonsense she put him through.

Maybe I'm making this to be bigger than it is but I simply don't think that the idea of a reserved and prudish girl who "only has sex during serious relationships" really exists anymore.