40 y.o. teacher marries 16 y.o. student

[Mr.Positive]

First, no, it's not a uniform law at all. Get your facts straight please.

Second, this sort of thing was not only common not so long ago in human history but would have been looked upon as a lot more upright and honorable than having sex without benefit of marriage at any age, so your view of "values and morals" is formed by what people have told you is right.

I beleive in right and wrong as absolutes in some cases, but I don't see any such absolutes in this situation.

A quick search brought up this:

http://www.sexlaws.org/what_is_statutory_rape

It is a state law, if you break it, you can do jail time. In California, the law is 18 years old. That IS absolute.

That's not even my real beef. If it was a 16 yo girl and a 17 yo guy for example, "young love" comes into play. That's at least understandable, and worth trying to get them to wait a few years for marriage. But, a 16 yo girl and a 40 yo guy? You've got to be kidding, right?

If there's one thing that I am very firm about, is protecting youth. Our young people in our society. I believe, if we as adults in general, did a better job, there would be a LOT less problems.

 

[Mr.Positive]

Alright, I'm going to prove myself wrong here:

http://www.coolnurse.com/marriage_laws.htm

Listed by state. My statutory rape argument is not valid here.

However, my standpoint on protecting youth does not change.

 

[bigjohnson]

However, my standpoint on protecting youth does not change.

You assume the age difference is a problem because western society has succeeded in programming you that it is, then you grasp at straws to come up with some BS "she's too young" argument. If the guy was 18 would it be better to you? Is having less net experience in a marriage better in your opinion?

She's not a child, she's old enough to make choices. In times not so long past people much younger were commonly making commitments like this and the world didn't spontaneously combust because of it.

When my Grandmother was 12 she met Grandpa and he said "that's the girl I'm gonna marry". A few years later he did just that, and she didn't seem to need "protection" as far as I noticed.

In other words your "protect the children" argument is utter bull****.


The SINGLE issue here has nothing to do with age, and yet not ONE of you has said a thing about it except tangentially. The man was in a position of authority and care. The age difference isn't relevant, but that position of power certainly is, and that makes this case bad, but not for your stated reasons at all.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Alright, I'm going to prove myself wrong here:

http://www.coolnurse.com/marriage_laws.htm

Listed by state. My statutory rape argument is not valid here.

However, my standpoint on protecting youth does not change.

Here's the actual North Carolina statute.

http://www.jus.state.nc.us/NCJA/!jul96.htm

 

[Mr.Positive]

She's not a child, she's old enough to make choices. In times not so long past people much younger were commonly making commitments like this and the world didn't spontaneously combust because of it.

When my Grandmother was 12 she met Grandpa and he said "that's the girl I'm gonna marry". A few years later he did just that, and she didn't seem to need "protection" as far as I noticed.

In other words your "protect the children" argument is utter bull****.


The SINGLE issue here has nothing to do with age, and yet not ONE of you has said a thing about it except tangentially. The man was in a position of authority and care. The age difference isn't relevant, but that position of power certainly is, and that makes this case bad, but not for your stated reasons at all.

We DO neet to protect our children, and 16 is a child. Your grandmother didn't have to worry about online predators, date-rape drugs, etc...we live in a different world today, and children have it much tougher than even we had.

The SINGLE issue here has EVERYTHING to do with age. The 40 yo guy is a predator. If you can't see that, this argument is closed as far as I'm concerned.

 

[bigjohnson]

He was in a position of authority, and that makes him a predator. The age difference is irrelevant in this case except in the ways it contributes to the authority issue.

The "16 is a child" line is a complete red herring unless you would feel the same way if the male were also 16.

Feel is I believe the key word - you're feeling an emotional response to this news item and then trying to come up with a logical validation for the emotion you experienced. There isn't one. I feel the same thing, but I also realize that there's no logically significant difference between this (except the authority issue) and things we all accept routinely.

*shrug*

 

[Luke Skywalker]

They look so happy together. That's the way to go, marry someone who is yonge and doesn't have any hang-ups like older girls do. I mean, she's yonge and fresh, that's what any older age guy would want to feel virile sexually. Well, good to know that as I age, or anyone on here does too, we can go with yonger girls, and why not - you feel like a man and that's what counts.

 

[sparky0000]

It isn't an issue of "legal". In 95% of this world 16 is very legal. Only American dudes would worry about such an issue. Get over the age thing. It makes you guys all sound like the pervs that you probably are. I swear if I stuck you in Eastern Europe you would be chasing after the preteen set . C'mon, harping on the age stuff makes you sound really creepy.

The real issue is - Isn't she an ugly looking thing? She could never get a job serving me coffee in Ukraine. Those girls are about her age and in order to make their $175 a month (full-time salary) they have to be attractive. If I looked up and saw that I wouldn't be able to give her my patented wink with the slight wave of my passport. That Sparky is quite the lady killer.

About the only well-known Ukraine female you guys know, Milla Jovovich, got married at 16 to an adult American. Very Ukrainian thing to do for girls :rock: . Before she was 13 she was a major int'l. modeling star. She had appeared on the cover of most of the big Italian and French fashion mags. She was as big as Kate Moss for a bit, but she was too young for Anglophile tastes. So her popularity was mainly in Italy and France. I always laugh when dudes watch "Dazed and Confused" and say that she is hot :crackup: . Uh, maybe at a Texas high school, but as she once said, "I am pretty normal for Ukraine." Take away the money, fame, and Americaness and yes you are :cheer:

Getting married young is something that less feminist oriented cultures seem to embrace. Ukraine never had a sexual revolution, nor did they ever have a women's movement of ANY kind. In Western society females seem to get married really old. Two extremes in a way.

Another interesting note on being an expat in most of Eastern or Southern Europe. In America it is always the girl's Daddy that you worry about. Daddy is the dude with the beer belly and penchant for playing Master Chef of the Universe come 4th of July. He calls his daughter names like Angel and Princess. He is a tough pill for you guys. Know what? In most places it is the boy's "Mamma" that is the tough pill. Every girl I have dated seems very concerned about what my "Mamma" says about her. Her parents are always a breeze to handle. They treat me as the conquering hero that I am :woo: .

 

[dietzcoi]

Once again we have the extremists flaming...

The reality is this:

1. It is normal for men to be attracted to younger women.. this is the norm in most of the world.

2. It is wrong for a 40 year old to marry a 16 year old child. This is a child, not a young woman!

Now if the girl/woman was 20 or so, fine...

There has to be a line, a limit. You cannot marry 5 year olds. Our limit on adulthood is 18. So, that should be the line. Why argue over this?

Dietzcoi

 

[bigjohnson]

Who is our?

The fact is our nature promotes this sort of behavior. Such is life. She is sort of fugly but that's a different issue ;-)

People change their entire lives, people get married, change and divorce at all ages. The worst thing here IMO is that this new family will have a tough time with the in-laws for a long time to come, and that's gonna make success difficult.



PS - Some random ***** is texting me offering to let me *** in her mouth. She won't leave it alone. Call her at (503) 369 0602