No more flowers. You were thinking like a girl there about making her first day nice (yes, it is sweet...) Flowers won't make her day, btw--it's who sent them that will make or break it, and if she's not into you, those flowers were an annoyance and probably dismissed and given to the mail dept girl walking around with the cart. Frankly, you no longer cut it that way for her--yes, she loved you and you will always be special and et-fvcking-cetera, but you don't crank her up that way anymore, and that's all that counts. No more flowers.
Harsh--but that's how it is. V-day is like that too--they don't care that you sent flowers, but they do care that every other girl at work will see that they get flowers and will not look and feel like losers.
Anyway, that's old news...
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I don't think her new friend really broke everything apart. The new friend is bad news--don't mistake that--but your ex-GF probably gave her a lot of complaints and the new friend merely took it and gave her moral support for doing what she's wanted to do.
Here's where it gets interesting---your GF will never tell you where she started losing it. She probably can't ever bring herself to tell you, so don't bother asking.
You, of course, probably saw the signs early and didn't pay attention or went into denial. Every couple has problems and works through them, right? But you sound too intelligent for not noticing early warning signs. You've read the bible--you can probably start piecing it together now--not all of it, right?--but you're probably getting some of it.
So what's the post-mortem? This will help you and many of us here, too. In fact, this is an incredible exercise to do--break it down what happened.
Don't call and ask her, she can't be candid with you. But you know a great deal--trust what you know and lay it out.
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Keep going out. Word will get back to her. That's not your problem, so don't worry about it. Don't play games by making sure she hears about it, and don't hold back--go to your usual places and see your usual friends with new dates. Don't sweat it--act natural and everyone around you will take it that way.
Wait for the kick-back. She'll come at for that. She'll need to talk "immediately" about "something important" and she either still loves you or wants to be friends anyway.
No deal. She is now back at the end of the line where common acquaintances are--no special treatment. Her attempts will be to establish and confirm control over you. Anything you do is no longer her business (you've got to see and accept that or she'll viciously hook you again and again...)
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As for not sweating it, make sure they don't see you sweat (I sure had a lesson this past week following that advise...it's gold!)
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As for your shyt she stills has---decide if you want it or not. If not, never bring it up again and don't bother "stopping by" to pick it up when she asks. In fact, don't bother discussing it.
If you want it--pick it up like you would going to UPS and getting a package. Tell her to drop it off at your work (not your new place!) or you'll stop by and get it. And do just that--short, quick, be nice, get out. You've got better things to do, right?
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Oh, as to the new friend---this will be hard not holding resentment against her, but generally ignore her like you would a 4.2 chick. Be pleasant--be nice--and ignore her. She'll hate that because she'll hate that you don't really take her as an equal (she's a 4.2 in your eyes, right?) Best revenge...
Somehow, without saying anything, you'll give off that "hey, you got the prize--my ex-GF--yes you did! You won! You broke us up and you get her, but thanks for the favor because now I'm onto better things and everything has gotten exciting again and ..." and her trophy won't be that special anymore. And the ex-GF will pick up on this too.
Too late, though. As we say, you're the prize here...
As for dealing with the pain--well, I'd get that scotch back. Just don't call her half-way through the bottle.
