HalfPUAHalfAFC said:
Most of the responses here are dead on correct. But let me add something...
You say you are wary of girls to bang after a date or two. That's fine, I guess, if you are screening for a quality girlfriend. Keep in mind, however, when a girl throws herself at you and you don't take her up on it, she's see you as a chump who does not know how to deal with women.
Agreed. This is what Im most disappointed in myself about. Im not a prude or chump when it comes to banging chicks but to this particular chick it must have seemed like this was the case. Although I displayed plenty of confidence one area I distinctly lacked this was in the Kino, sexual aggression area. Its feels kinda weird for me because a few years ago I would have been all over a chick like this and probably would have banged her on the first or second date. Now however as Ive gotten older and after a number of bad experiences with slutty women I just find myself not being interested in just a quick lay. I guess its a fine line between being cool and not showing too much sexual interest and appearing like a chump who cant handle women.
As someone has mentioned the one thing I figure I can take from this is that when a women acts this aggressive this early on in the dating stages I should respond accordingly. This is where my problem lies, in short when I actually like a girl (e.g. I dont just see her as a bang) I often find it difficult to initiate Kino and sexual aggression. Previous long term relationships I have had have generally been on the basis of the women initiating first and me essentially not reciprocating until after a few good dates (e.g. it seems to be my own internal screening method).
So guys any directions you can all point me in with help in the Kino field????
I get the general jist of it and can use it but for some reason I struggle to initiate it succesfully with women I actually like. I suppose this is to do with my own lack of confidence and 'fear' that by initiating Kino and displaying sexual aggression with a potential partner I will somehow 'scare her off'. How can I overcome this?? Any methods I can use to help me in this field?
The whole irony about this particular situation I mention in the OP is that I was going to go for it either at the end of our 3rd date (she didnt allow me to get that far unfortunatley) or definetely on the next date.
Im also dissapointed that I didnt get to bang her now (she had a great body, huge t**s etc). Pheraps if I didnt spend so much time trying to 'work her out' and screeeing her as a potential gf I would of gotten a decent lay outta it.
After thinking more and more about this today and taking on board advice on here Ive come to the conclusion that I fvcked up massively. Im kicking myself now because I realise however much I dress it up the bottom line was that basically (for a number of reasons) I didnt have the balls to take her up on her offers of sex. I was too focused on screening her and trying to work out if she was potential gf material as opposed to just going with it and getting it on. On reflection in her mind I must have looked like a scared boy who didnt know how to handle sexual women. I guess to some extent this is actually true as I had it staring me in the face and I backed way off. I didnt intiate enough kino, I didnt grab her push her against the wall and give her a huge kiss (which I had plenty of opporutnities to do), I didnt get drunk and grab her ass/t**s, I didnt give her a vibe that I wanted to get naked with her etc etc. I feel like such a loser now and the thing that has got me most is that I know I have this in me because Ive acted this way with countless women in the past. When I actually like a girl I have a problem with aggressive sexual pursuit and it will have come accross (in this instance) like I was scared and uninterested. Its no wonder she felt we 'didnt have a connection' as Id basically given her nothing to feel a physical connection with. I fvucked up and need to change my game.
Edit: So today I get a txt off her basically saying sorry for her behaviour lastnight and how she was too drunk and feels bad for how she behaved. I replied by basically pointing out that I was interested in her sexually and thats the whole irony of how it went (e.g. just because I was laid back and took a weary approach didnt mean I didnt want to get her naked, I actually txted this). She responded saying she had a great time. I then figured I should go nuclear and see what her motives for txting me where so I basically asked her if she was still interested. No reply. I guess she felt guilty for how she handled the situation and felt she owed me an apology, but at the end of the day drunk or not what she said was how she felt.
I have a funny feeling this isnt the last I'll hear from her though.
