24 and inexperienced...tougher to get started at an older age?

[Ol'BlueEyes]

For many reasons, none of which I'll detail here, I'm a 24 year-old virgin. This is something I'm not particularly proud of, as it seems like there's a huge sexfest going on and I'm missing out on the party.

I go out on weekends, talk to as many women as I can, and watch them gravitate to other guys. I sense these guys running rings around me, while I'm just trying to get numbers and first dates.

I suspect my probelm is that I don't have a group of guys to pal around with, to support me in this endeavor. I'm always out by myself; sort of a trial by fire. Am I too inexperienced to be doing this? The verdict seems to be an overwhelming YES, as this has been going on for months now.

 

[isotope]

well maybe dont hit the club circles... girls there are much more experienced, you know.

and no, dont give up... just go with it. you might consider lying about your age just to get good at kissing and flirting or to make the girl not so shocked that youre a virgin. I know it is wrong to lie, but in this case a little "im 21" Isn't THAT big of a lie, and if you think it will make you more comfortable being open with a girl once she gets to know you. Im 21 myself and still a virgin, so i know how you feel but you just gotta do it anyway. dont give up, keep trying but dont act desperately either

and maybe your approach is too dorky... ahve you read the bible? make sure to be calm, confident

 

[Ronin I]

Originally posted by Ol'BlueEyes
For many reasons, none of which I'll detail here, I'm a 24 year-old virgin. This is something I'm not particularly proud of, as it seems like there's a huge sexfest going on and I'm missing out on the party.

I go out on weekends, talk to as many women as I can, and watch them gravitate to other guys. I sense these guys running rings around me, while I'm just trying to get numbers and first dates.

I suspect my probelm is that I don't have a group of guys to pal around with, to support me in this endeavor. I'm always out by myself; sort of a trial by fire. Am I too inexperienced to be doing this? The verdict seems to be an overwhelming YES, as this has been going on for months now.

You've got to start somewhere. So what if you are too inexperienced. There is only one way to change that. Get out there and get some experience. I fit seems that other guys are "running rings" around you then eavesdrop on what they;re doing and learn what you can.

 

[Ol'BlueEyes]

about the age

Something I meant to touch on, but forgot, is that I run into a lot of, "I have a boyfriend/fiance/husband." Then they show me their rings.

It is this that leads me to think that finding that first girlfriend gets much more difficult the older I get.

Isotope, you may be correct; I may appear dorky. However, without anyone monitoring, I don't know for sure. That is why I think I need a group of guys to hang out with.

 

[leoncour]

I'm in the same boat, I'm 23 and haven't kissed a girl. I used to care about getting a girlfriend but lately I have becomed desensitised to lack of a social life and being a loner. I resigned. And I feel a little better now. And whenever I feel that peculiar angst when you want a girl, I jack off and I feel better. Yep, thats my life.

 

[Bonhomme]

LOL!!!

While I did have a few GFs and some occasional action, I haven't really learned to be very effective with women until about 40. Yes, 40!

Now I pick up more hot 20somethings thah I did when I was 20something.

Consider yourself lucky you found this site so soon.

I also recommend the ebook called Dating Insider. It explained just what was happening when I was "on," and has great info that can be used by anybody, not only guys who are aces with words, or have other standout natural abilities. It starts with charisma, and works from there. Best $40 US I ever spent on dating advice.

 

[Doppler4000]

Dude, you're not that old. Yeah, as you get older the number of single women you can run into goes down... but they're out there for sure (what are you gonna do, not even try??) and maybe you'll get lucky and find one who's already figured out what she wants and won't be as flaky as some 21-year old who hasn't grown up yet. What do you mean these chicks show you their rings? If they've got a ring on (and you should look), why are you bothering to hit on them in the first place?

 

[lollipop]

I was 18 when I kissed a girl for the first time. Do feel like a loser? Hell no. I know I'll get some in the future. Just don't let those woman screw up your mind.

 

[tamales]

Nevermind. But hell, LC I'll kiss you.

 

[OzzyBoy]

I'm 24 and a virgin too. I get a little bothered about it sometimes but othertimes I'm glad that i haven't wasted it on some slut I saw once and that was it.


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[drZaius09]

Originally posted by OzzyBoy
I'm 24 and a virgin too. I get a little bothered about it sometimes but othertimes I'm glad that when i do lose it it will be with the right person and not wasted on some slut that i met at the nightclub or some sleasy place like that.

First you have to lose this attitude that your 'first time' should be a special, magical event with an angelic princess sent forth from the gods of romance. We have sex like every other animal on this planet. When some chipmunk loses his virginity, does he light candles around the tree branch, sip wine, and listen to Barry White while gently undressing the truest and most virtuous female chipmunk in the forest?

Enough with the fairy-tale nonsense. You're not special. Holding on to these absurd fantasies is a self-defeating approach. Eventually nobody will ever be good enough. You're an animal just like me, the chipmunk, and everyone on this board. So go and pound some slut and stop making such a project out of it.

 

[One on One]

I'm 21 and never kissed a girl...I hardly ever hung out until a few months ago. But now I'm making substantial progress and I'm probably going for my first kiss tonight!! I am proof that change is possible if you committ yourself, but take it slowly.

 

[$ Cap Wun $]

Don't let the fact that you're still inexperienced get to you. Just go out and have fun, do what you do, don't let what the other guys are doing intimidate you. If you want to pick up some things, watch what they do, but do what you feel is right. They may only be looking for sex, and you on the other hand might be looking for a girlfriend. So the things you're doing might be different. You get me?

 

[Bud Wiser]

Sweat it not.

To all you guys who are concerned about a relative lack of experience in your mid twenties, you should consider yourselves lucky.

Think of the millions and millions of guys who came before you in your situation and never solved their problems. And the millions more who will never get the message.

Follow the tips and advice on this site and from some of the more credible "dating consultants" out there like DeAngelo, Hodges (Doc Love), etc.

First and foremost -- get your heads out of your a**es. Relax and go into every dating situation and potential physical encounter with an "I don't really care" attitude. Do this along with a consistent program of self improvement and you'll see great results soon enough.

Quit feeling sorry for yourselves and get cracking!

 

[toot86]

so true

Originally posted by leoncour
I'm in the same boat, I'm 23 and haven't kissed a girl. I used to care about getting a girlfriend but lately I have becomed desensitised to lack of a social life and being a loner. I resigned. And I feel a little better now. And whenever I feel that peculiar angst when you want a girl, I jack off and I feel better. Yep, thats my life.

Isnt that life for many guys. BUT very very true this is what it is for many.. BUt we have to be strong and energetic to not just take the easy way out.. and use the energy sperm gives you to go out and do it!!

 

[trajhenkhet]

Stay on this site for a bit and things will change. Believe me.

 

[Oxide]

close>date>kiss>sex. there ya go.

nothing wrong with being a virgin, but i agree, i myself was thinking about it as a SPECIAL thing, but now im just going to have sex with a girl i like.

you know how back when u were a kid u thought ud kiss someone u love, fvck someone u love. well as you get older you realize you'll do it just as long as the person is fvckable.

 

[MDgood]

Don't think that because you've never kissed a girl or gotten laid that life is over for you. Hey, it's possible that you could be an attractive guy, and the girls are intimidated by you. In high school I went to two dances, because I was scared to death to ask any of the girls out of fear of rejection... I thought girls saw me as unattractive, not cool, and all that stuff because none of them ever really talked to me... found out later that there were actually quite a few with their eyes on me. I still go through periods like this, it's just the way I've always been.

Could it be that you have a fear of rejection, and so you're not trying any? We all have a fear of being turned down. Any guy on this board who doesn't have at least a small fear of rejection is an a$$hole at heart.

 

[Ol'BlueEyes]

Oxide

There's the rub. Close/Date/Kiss/Sex sounds like a great flowchart for success, but as someone who has little to no experience I haven't been able to close a number recently, let alone go for kiss closes, date set-ups, f-closes, etc.

The reason for my concern is that, when I do have sex for the first time, what older woman is going to want to take time to teach me how to perform? I'v seen advice on here to never tell a girl I'm a virgin. Fair enough, but I can't help but think a woman who's experienced will be able to tell.

In addition, I only approach attractive women. I see no point in approaching a girl who holds no charms for me. I can't help but think this is majorly counterproductive, but at the same time I don't want to apologize for seeing what I want and trying to get it. I'm a guy and shouldn't settle for less, but 'less' is still better than nothing.

Seems to me the choice I have is to either:
Gain experience in the sack with women I don't find attractive
or
Keep shooting for the moon in the hope that I get lucky

 

[david_med@hotmail.com]

whatsup

olblueeyes,
i think the biggest obstacle you face is to truly be able to set free. you gotta be able to change and experiment bigtime. obviously, what you have been doing hasnt been working in the dating/sex department, because youre still a friggin virgin.

but thats not a problem. i strongly advise you get rid of that whole "i only want the best" attitude. I've noticed that thats an attitude generally adopted by people who are AFRAID of failure. Yeah, u heard that right. I'm not saying you DONT deserve the best, but I think you are potentially using that as a means to hide from taking a dive with a not so great chick, and oh no, god forbid u get rejected by an average chick....subconsciously or consciously of course.

if you ask me, i would recommend going out and sarging everyone and their mother. have absolutely no fear, and just start to bag chicks. start somewhere. every guy who aint getting any, uses that whole "i have high standards" line. although, im not saying you DONT have high standards, there comes a time where u have to come to reality, and most importantly take a dive and start hitting something.

in any case, im not trying to rip on you by any means. just remember bro, even the GREATEST DJ's get rejected. ITs all a learning process, a process that involves constant evolution and change, and along the way, you will *** on a lot of chicks faces.
thats the bottom line.

happy pu$$y hunting,
-dave