24 and inexperienced...tougher to get started at an older age?

[Eternal]

Holy hell, Dave's back! But yeah, I agree with him. Go out and talk to everyone that has a rack and warm spot. Get confident talking and having sex. THEN go after the higher-ups because you won't have the "Geez, I'm a virgin" motto in the back of your mind. Take care and remember: Use a wrapper before you pack her.

 

[iqqi]

there are a couple of ways you can do it.
1. at the club, if you are a pretty good dancer, just dance with one or two chicks alot and they'll EXPECT you to get their number. and buy them a drink, so they don't think your a cheap nerdy bastard.
2. mention meekly (but NOT at a club setting, maybe at work) your "inexperience" (not your virginity), and your shyness. some chicks like to teach...
3. this is cheesy, but noone has to know. rent some sappy love movies (i'm thinking 80's movies) that the ladies all love, and take some pointers from those guys, what they did to get the girl. cuz they're all underdogs in those movies, but they always win.

good luck!

 

[MrNiceGuy]

I too am in a similar situation.. I turned 23 a couple of weeks ago.. and as yet my **** is yet to feel anything but my left hand... I've kissed only 1 girl passionately and that was when I was 12.. over 10 years ago! Despite the fact that this girl had no hesitation in agreeing to go out with me when my mate asked her out for me (I was 12 remember) it still didn't translate into me having any confidence to go asking girls out, I wish my friends had pushed me to make the effort myself.

Up untill I was about 20/21 I wasn't too bothered about the fact that I wasn't getting any. And when I was 18 I pretty much gave up on making an effort with women alltogether due in part to one catastrophic failure with a one-itis.

Anyway, towards the end of my 21st year I realised that I was unhappy with being single and it was time to try and make an effort to change things and so for the past year I've been actually trying to make an effort with women (although I appreciate that I'm still not trying hard enough, plus I've met a girl with a boyfriend that has become an unattainable one-itis which has screwed my mood alot) , but of course my lack of experience really throws my game sometimes.. I've bottled so many approaches 'cos I've been scared that the girl will be frightened off if it gets to the stage where we talk about my past and she realises I've never had a LTR or been laid. Of course this is just something I've got to fight through.. at 18 I was just scared of approaching women but my inexperience didnt bother me.. now I've got two fears to overcome, I think if it wasn't for the fact that I was so thrown by my inexperience approaching wouldn't be an issue anymore, but the trouble is I still am and it still throws me sometimes. I've just got to try and forget that.. the only way to change it is get out there and do it!

Its very frustrating, I'm not an ugly guy, and if I make an effort with my clothes/hair I can be pretty good looking, plus I've not got an abnormal personality or anything so I really feel like I shouldn't be having this much trouble.. but its only me that can change this, I just need to make sure I don't let myself down.

 

[Oxide]

just think about this guys : there are millions of dumbass AFC out there, and u are over here, YOU ALREADY HAVE THE POTENTIAL TO GET ANY GIRL YOU WANT. YOU have everything to **** a girl. just let go of all that ACF bs.

oldblue, who the **** cares what this chick u fvck thinks? she will be like "oh man he is no good at this" and ull be "hell yeah i just fvcked this chick" and gain confidence. dont matter what she thinks, u get sex and exeprience. so go and dont stop.

and whats this **** abotu hot chicks? they arent better than ugly one's in bed. go for hot one's and dont worry.


oh yeah, why not start by phone closing before u think about sex????

 

[Ol'BlueEyes]

tonight, field report

Damn, do these things ever sound so simple in type and so difficult in practice.

Case in point: tonight I went out by myself (as always) to a band I like. Since there is a huge biker convention in town, there were loads of women there, many of them 7's and up. I got eye contact from two women, one of them claimed they thought I was someone they knew; I tried to segue that into a convo, but damned if her girlfriends pulled her to the ladies' room. The other was at the bar, hanging out by herself. Had a good rapport, until she pulled the 'boyfriend' card.

Asked two groups of girls if they'd like to dance, they proceeded to ignore me on the floor. By this point I was in no mood to continue.

 

[( . )( . )]

Originally posted by drZaius09
First you have to lose this attitude that your 'first time' should be a special, magical event with an angelic princess sent forth from the gods of romance. We have sex like every other animal on this planet. When some chipmunk loses his virginity, does he light candles around the tree branch, sip wine, and listen to Barry White while gently undressing the truest and most virtuous female chipmunk in the forest?

Enough with the fairy-tale nonsense. You're not special. Holding on to these absurd fantasies is a self-defeating approach. Eventually nobody will ever be good enough. You're an animal just like me, the chipmunk, and everyone on this board. So go and pound some slut and stop making such a project out of it.

dr z this is becoming a habit, once again my thoughts exactly, you hit the nail on the head.

 

[krd]

Re: tonight, field report

Originally posted by Ol'BlueEyes
Damn, do these things ever sound so simple in type and so difficult in practice.

Case in point: tonight I went out by myself (as always) to a band I like. Since there is a huge biker convention in town, there were loads of women there, many of them 7's and up. I got eye contact from two women, one of them claimed they thought I was someone they knew; I tried to segue that into a convo, but damned if her girlfriends pulled her to the ladies' room. The other was at the bar, hanging out by herself. Had a good rapport, until she pulled the 'boyfriend' card.

Asked two groups of girls if they'd like to dance, they proceeded to ignore me on the floor. By this point I was in no mood to continue.

I am 24 also, and from my experience, that is most certainly the truth. It's inspiring to read all of the tips, motivational speeches and success stories, but the inspiration disappears when you go out into the real world. There are just too many distractions and unforseen circumstances that just throw you. Usually, when I go out, I try to maintain a positive outlook. But by the time I come home, I'm pissed off and have lost most of my good spirits.

 

[Oxide]

you are the best there is. thats all u need to know. women are attracted to you.

 

[Bud Wiser]

Re: Re: tonight, field report

Originally posted by krd
Usually, when I go out, I try to maintain a positive outlook. But by the time I come home, I'm pissed off and have lost most of my good spirits.

Sounds like you need to start making some changes to your approach. Step back and evaluate what you're doing right, what's not going so well, make adjustments, re-set your positive attitude and get back in there.

 

[HowardRoarkLaughed]

DO NOT do this:

iqqi: 3. this is cheesy, but noone has to know. rent some sappy love movies (i'm thinking 80's movies) that the ladies all love, and take some pointers from those guys, what they did to get the girl. cuz they're all underdogs in those movies, but they always win.

Movies are not real, iqqi.

 

[iqqi]

Movies are not real, iqqi.

yeah, hrl, but they are so inspiring.

anyways, kid, next time i wouldn't ask anyone to dance. just go out to the dance floor and lose yourself in the crowd (hopefully it's a nice sized one) and find yourself dancing next to a hot chick, and then move in on her until you ARE dancing with her. and don't ask GROUPS! girls want to feel special, like they are the only one you're interested in, like you are the smartest guy for figuring out that THEY are the best girl there. good luck. dust yourself off and try again.

 

[Ol'BlueEyes]

dancing if you're not good at it?

After reading a couple of posts about hitting the clubs/bars, I guess it's a revelation that a good dancer has a big advantage on the floor.

I'm one of those guys who just bops around by himself, side to side. And one thing I've noticed is that, around here at least, girls ALWAYS dance in groups. And their boyfriends always sit at the same table, waiting patiently.

I don't think that, just because I'm out there putting my ass on the line, that I come across as courageous or cool. I think too often I come across like an uncoordinated dolt. Maybe I do, as that's how I project myself.

Is making a spectacle of myself really going to do any good?

 

[G_S]

I'm 22, and I've done everything but have sex. I've had girls pursue me, some that I was really attracted to, but for whatever reason I lose interest. Personally, I feel all that stuff can wait. I'm an engineering major and on the President's List (actually better than the Dean's List) and I don't have much longer to go. If I had a girl, I know I wouldn't be able to make the grades that I do. I have a bright future ahead of me and no screwed-in-the-head-devil-woman is going to mess it up! I know I could get laid if I really wanted to, but that isn't what's driving me. I'm on a journey of enlightenment. I'm trying to discover myself and better myself. Girls don't run my life, and I don't need a girl to make me feel complete. I'm numero uno.

Don't feel bad about being a senior member of the V Club (ha!), there's no shame. I've met other guys at school who were exactly the same and you would never know it. None of them had anything wrong with their personality or looks (actually really cool, mature guys who could pull a lot of ass if they wanted to). These guys were actually a lot cooler/friendlier/laid back than your average AFC who does get laid. They seem to be more in control of themselves and their lives. Their lives don't revolve around girls, and they're better people because of it.

 

[matius]

For the ones who say 'just hit any chick'. Cool, are you hitting the girls you're not so much attracted to? To me, that seems sh itty because you may have to deal with attachment, phone calls and other luxuries of that behaviour- and you're not even attracted to her...

As for the original poster. I've had pleny of sex but am as of late having trouble getting it...but like me my friend, must face the music. If you want to get something while you're living, you really need to step it up and grab it. That means letting all of your worries go out the window and having the 'i don't care attitude' with the girls you speak with...and talk to alot of them because alot will not want to talk. Actually, I was reminded just a minute ago when I just said hello to a girl outside my apartment (she was walking)...I should have talked to her a bit more. Every girl you see and like talk to her no matter what...just gauge the interest level. Remember the song ...but if we are wise, we know that there's always tomorrow.

 

[krd]

Originally posted by G_S
I'm 22, and I've done everything but have sex. I've had girls pursue me, some that I was really attracted to, but for whatever reason I lose interest. Personally, I feel all that stuff can wait. I'm an engineering major and on the President's List (actually better than the Dean's List) and I don't have much longer to go. If I had a girl, I know I wouldn't be able to make the grades that I do. I have a bright future ahead of me and no screwed in the head devil woman is going to mess it up! I know I could get laid if I really wanted to, but that isn't what's driving me. I'm on a journey of enlightenment, trying to discover myself and better myself. Girls don't run my life, and I don't need a girl to make me feel complete. I'm numero uno.

Don't feel bad about being a senior member of the V Club (ha!), there's no shame. I've met other guys at school who were exactly the same and you would never know it. None of them had anything wrong with their personality or looks (actually really cool, mature guys who could pull a lot of ass if they wanted to). These guys were actually a lot cooler/laid back than your average AFC who does get laid. They seem to be more in control of themselves and their lives. Their lives don't revolve around girls, and they're better people because of it.

It's one thing if you choose to remain a virgin because you have a lot of other things going on in your life. It's another thing if you are forced to remain one because you simply can't get a woman. I honestly don't know if I could get laid if I wanted to. In fact it's hard for me to believe that I ever will. That's nothing to be proud of, and in my case, I think I have every reason to feel bad. That's not to say I'd want to jump into bed with the first attractive woman who is willing, but I at least want to know that I have the option. That's the difference between you, the guys you met at school, and the rest of us. You guys have options. Most of us don't--not yet, anyway.

 

[matius]

I had no idea this board was filled virgins! Not that there is anything wrong with that...

 

[G_S]

Originally posted by krd
It's one thing if you choose to remain a virgin because you have a lot of other things going on in your life. It's another thing if you are forced to remain one because you simply can't get a woman. I honestly don't know if I could get laid if I wanted to. In fact it's hard for me to believe that I ever will. That's nothing to be proud of, and in my case, I think I have every reason to feel bad. That's not to say I'd want to jump into bed with the first attractive woman who is willing, but I at least want to know that I have the option. That's the difference between you, the guys you met at school, and the rest of us. You guys have options. Most of us don't--not yet, anyway.

This is just a terrible way to look at it. You need to read the DJ Bible and a lot of the other inspiration stuff on this board. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU WHETHER YOU WANT TO ADMIT IT OR NOT! I don't care how big of a loser you say you are, I can always find a much bigger loser who does get laid. Everyone has felt the way you have, lord knows I have, but when you think negatively like that you become what you think. It's called Self-Fulfilling Prophecy. The fact is western society puts too much pressure on young men to have sex, and glorifies it. Having sex will not complete you, a girl will not complete you, only YOU can make yourself complete by becoming the person you want to be. This board will certainly help you get there, but you want to have to change. Once you become who you want to be girls will flock to you whether you want them to or not! You can get laid (ANYONE CAN!). Proof: check out bangbus' episode with Deja!

 

[Ol'BlueEyes]

I can always find a much bigger loser who does get laid.

I agree with this quote. What pisses me off is I see guys who are truly much bigger losers than I am getting laid left and right. God knows I work with a ton of them.

I also agree with the point of western culture putting too much emphasis in having sex. It's as if having sex initiates a man into a select club.

I gotta stop watching MTV.

 

[matius]

I also agree with the point of western culture putting too much emphasis in having sex. It's as if having sex initiates a man into a select club.

This might sound messed up. But I grew up with a bunch of kids who would bust my arse if I wasn't reporting back I was getting laid. You all know the type. Yeah, I've made some bad decisions I'm still making up for because of the pressure society dropped on me. It's true. There are many mixed messages. Don't have sex. Have safe sex. She's a slut. She wants it. Sex is dangerous. If you're not having sex you're gay. If you're not having sex you're weak. Not a man. If you do not have sex you are strong and great for waiting. Wait until you are married to have sex. F<>ck a girl in your car. Have a highschool party c()mfest.

It's really just what you want to do. I think working with all the conflicting issues society puts forth is very damaging to your mental. I'm trying to discard most of what I've learned through it so I can start making process.

 

[krd]

Although, lately I am beginning to reconsider my attitude toward waiting to have sex, I've always maintained that sex is not the important thing. Anybody who chooses to be a virgin, more power to them. They may even be better off.

What's really important to me is knowing that even if I decide not to have sex, the option is still there. But when I see everybody around me, even people younger than I am, with girlfriends, in relationships, or have at least had a few experiences with going on dates and kissing, and I, a full grown adult, have done none of these things, I can't help but feeling inadequate, like there's something wrong with me. My dad got married to my mom at 22. My situation is definitely not normal. And I've read the DJ Bible and those inspirational posts by Pook and the rest of them. But it still does nothing for my confidence.