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It could be either. This is a paraphrase of another interesting exchange I had with my ex (post breakup), take from it what you will: me: You need to really confront how you feel about your ex. Go to lunch with him and talk about things, see what you're really feeling. her: I can't do that. I...

I got a PM about this last post, and my response was so long that it exceeded the PM limit. So I'm putting the response here: =============================================== It sucks, man. But I don't think that alone is enough to indicate BPD. BPD is serious and it's rare. I have spent many...

Yes, they repress like crazy. They are terrified of actually facing pain or responsibility because it means facing themselves. And at their core they feeling shame and nothingness. My ex told me that she thought she was over her ex until she saw him again and he told her that "I will always...

Fortunately I don't think mine will try to suck me back in, because she knows that I realize something is wrong with her. After my head had cleared following a few weeks of no contact, I sent her a long email admitting that the relationship was unhealthy and did need to end. At the time I was...

Yeah, I did leave her. And she really guilt tripped pretty hard over the next 24 hours. She made a lot of statements to the effect that I must be "relieved," this must be what I really wanted deep down, she knows I want to move on, etc. I made the mistake of trying to reconcile with her the...

I broke up with mine when she admitted that she still had "strong feelings" for her ex and had just started talking to him trying to figure out why she couldn't "let him go." After I broke up with her though, she went crazy trying to get me back for 24 hours and told the ex she realized that her...

Oh yeah, here's another good one... When we met, she told me that she believed in God but was not a Christian. I told her I was an agnostic. As the relationship went on, we had a disagreement because she wants her children to be raised as Christians, and I do not. 8 months in, she used this as...

AlexDP, Most of the BPD stories I've read, the ex turns into a real b1tch right before or after the breakup. Yet in my case, she has never once been deliberately hurtful, hateful, or disrespectful. She's shown a lot of guilt, remorse, sadness, and cried her eyes out in front of me. She has...

sexysuave, The idea that all BPDs are wh0res is another falsehood that kept me from seeing the truth about mine for a while. She was not like this either. All her male friends were gay. She did not have 'orbiters'. She really didn't use FB or try to get "attention" that way. She checked mine...

Right, BPD is an emotional disorder. Some of the BPDs I have talked to recently have stated that they always knew something was off. The problem is that they can sense it is something so deep, the thought of fixing it is too terrifying to confront. My ex knows too. In our last phone...

BPD is under diagnosed. And BPD is often co-morbid with other disorders. A lot of BPDs are probably just considered bi-polar. And they are highly resistant to introspection and seeking treatment. BPD is also found in various subtypes and intensities, which is another reason that many will...

Shari S's site (particularly the article on the waif type borderline) is what really opened my eyes... but you're right, she kind of portrays BPDs as soulless psychopaths. For a more balanced look I've also been reading some threads on other forums by BPDs who are in treatment and/or have been...

This x 1000.

Two very good points. And the really dangerous ones are the "waifs", the "quiet BPD." These don't present as angry psychotics, they present as super-feminine, fragile women that want to give and receive deep, pure love. This article on waifs is very good. I had a long thread about my ex, and...

Interesting thread. I'm still trying to determine if my ex has a mild case of BPD, or if her severe insecurity (sometimes bordering on paranoia), clinginess, and fear of abandonment was simply based on the fact that she got into a relationship with me only a few months after being rejected by a...

disclaimer: Obviously the guy described in this post is AFC. But the humor, sarcasm, and bitterness of this post are just awesome. Women really do have their head up their asses. http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/483318927.html "What Happened To All The Nice Guys?" I see this...

That's a really bad sign... There has to be some kind of sexuality established, kissing on the first date is the absolute minimum.

I'm not going to put her name on her, because unfortunately some weirdo will look her up and some how or another, she will see this thread.

A turn of good events. I live in an apartment complex and next month am transferring up to another floor for an ocean view. My friend (also just moved into the building) is a porn producer and knows dozens of strippers and "actresses." Come to find out that one of these "actresses" now lives...

In response to that post, I received the following PM: Trolls are fun. And no, I am not making this up.